It looks like Parker Munson is the latest child in Oakdale to commit a felony. Parker supposedly shot and killed "Sam, Sam, the puppet man" this week. I say "supposedly" because I'm not entirely convinced Parker did it. First of all, he used a shotgun, which I imagine at such close range would have left a nasty looking corpse. (At least that's what all my experience at watching crime shows tells me. Take a note, Margo!) And second, there were two bullets in poor Sam, and Parker only shot once, he claimed.

My gut tells me Kit busted a cap in old Sam, not Parker. Or maybe it was Cowboy Jack with his six-shooter! (I knew that dummy was evil from the moment I saw those creepy eyes.) Seriously though, I can't really blame Parker. He tried to warn everyone about Sam's dark nature and no one would listen to the poor kid. You'd think once you'd proven yourself and your psychic visions they way Parker did, previously, that you'd at least have some credibility. Not in Oakdale, where memories are shorter than the longevity of Carly's businesses.

But why do the kids of Oakdale keep ending up in jail or juvie for murder or other felonies? Maybe it's because their parents have been committing crimes for years, unpunished. (You know what they about that she-Devil Karma.) I hope Parker gets out of this mess and doesn't end up like Will or Casey, who both did time for their crimes. It changed both of those kids forever, for the worse, and I'd hate for Parker to have to trade in his hockey stick for handcuffs.

In other musings:
--New Casey looks like Tarzan. OK. Maybe it's just me. But every time I see that necklace and that long blonde hair, I keep thinking he should be wearing a loincloth. And I really got a chuckle this week when Tom uttered, "Looks like Casey is getting back into the SWING of things!"

--The Valentine's Day episode proved one thing: Tom and Margo deserve more screen time and a DECENT storyline. (And Ellen Dolan does a spot-on Hepburn impression.) I also enjoyed the location shots with Luke and Noah. Kudos to ATWT for acknowledging romance on Valentine's Day.

--To quote a poster from the ATWT message board, "Craig has a bionic ear." There is no other explanation for how he overheard Lucinda's phone conversation about Lucy from so far away.

--It's no wonder Vienna and Henry never have any customers at the diner. The fact that Vienna has her dog at the counter constantly would turn off more than a few patrons I imagine.

--Casey, Casey, Casey, stealing from your grandma and getting the bartender fired for it smacks of pre-prison Casey. Apparently your time in the hoosegow did nothing for your personal growth. I was hoping the writers would redeem Casey back into the sweet kid we all once knew and loved. I don't recognize this cash-stealing punk.

--Paul, your brother's baby was stolen, and Will is now in a heated custody battle. I thought I'd tell Paul because it's clear the writers don't intend to. (Sigh.) There are family members who are actually related on this show. Wouldn't it be nice to see them interact once in a while?

--Carly needs a Valium. She went psycho when Katie came to the police station, shrieking and screaming at her. Yet, she barely broke a sweat when her kid shot Sam. Strange.

--Did I misunderstand or did Lucinda just sign away her company because she's feeling guilty? Let's get real. That would never happen. Lucinda wanted that company back and she would have done anything to get it.

-- For the love of Snickers, please mature Katie. I'm so sick of her wishy-washy behavior. Last week, Katie went to extreme measures to stop Brad from confessing his feelings or showing any romantic interest in her, now she's suddenly acting jealous when he turns his attention to Bonnie. UGH!

--It's about time Carly took some responsibility for her actions. She invited Sam and Kit into her kids' lives and, yes, it is partially her fault. It was another bad decision in a long list of bad decisions, and it's time she realized that her behavior affects her children.

--The line to slap Margo forms here. She had barely met Casey's new friend before she invited him to move into their house. Huh? She knows NOTHING about this kid! Remember when Margo used to be one of the smartest/savviest people in Oakdale? Me, too.

--I'm thrilled that Henry Coleman is getting some screen time. It looks like he lost the diner in a poker game, so perhaps we're going to see him hit bottom. It won't be the first time he's had to live in his car, but hopefully, this time, we'll see Henry learn from his mistake. Maybe he and Casey cold attend a gamblers anonymous meeting together.

--Is anyone else hoping that Sofie wins custody of Hallie, so she can take her and leave town forever? I'm so sick of this character taking up screen time that could be going to people I actually care about in Oakdale.

--I can't write this week's column without paying tribute to the incredible work of young Mick Hazen. Not just this week, but in the last year, Hazen has subtlety portrayed Parker as a troubled, confused kid who often times acts more like an adult than his mother. Hazen is so good in this role that sometimes I forget he's a kid. Bravo.

--Why did Chris drink the Sofie Kool-Aid? That was a twist I didn't see coming. Kudos to Will for calling him out for siding with Sofie. He's suddenly acting like Aaron.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Meg throws a photo of her and Paul in the trash, as Craig watches.)
Craig: "I see you finally put Paul Ryan in his place. That's a good sign."

((Emily meets Craig at a dive bar to make him a business proposition.)
Craig: "Well, as usual, Emmy, first class all the way."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Diane.)
"Jennifer, you're absolutely right about Oakdale being the size of a postage stamp. It seems they walk out one door and into the next one: Carly's house, the farm, Metro, the hospital...But this week topped it all! Now the characters must be able to teleport themselves. I know Oakdale is in Illinois, but just how close is it to Chicago? And there is NO way any human could get from Oakdale to Central Park and then back as quickly as Aaron and Sofie did today. Not to mention the fact that Sofie could not have gotten on an airplane without her wallet. I know it's just a "story", but sometimes these details are so distracting. It seems insulting to the fans. While I'm ranting -- am I the only one who is fed up with the "previews" that give away everything that happens on the next show or next week? GRRRR Thanks for listening & thanks for writing the column. I love it & look forward to it every week."
(From Two Scoops reader Lucie.)
"I am getting so incredibly annoyed with Katie... Brad chasing after was cute at first but it is now getting pathetic. He should just let her be if she's gonna be like that she can cry about her failed marriages and her loss of hope in finding true love until her eyes fall out for all I care. And same thing with Sofie. Get her off the show yesterday. Every time I see her on screen I can't help but think to myself..."You're still here?" I think it's funny that people are so torn between Block and Bryce for Craig. I think it's because both actors played the different sides of Craig Montgomery, one side he's vulnerable, human and you can tell he really loves and wants to be loved back. The other, he's arrogant and sexy, flirtatious and vicious. Both actors portrayed Craig's different facets perfectly! Craig Montgomery is as important to Oakdale as Lucinda, Lily, Carly and Emily. I hate that all they could do with him was run after Meg, (a completely ruined character)."

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller