Let's break it down -- DAYS has been a bit dreary this year on several levels. In just the first week of January, we saw a fatal multicar pileup caused by a drunken former priest who was once Salem's golden boy, and Salem sweetheart, Hope, going batcrap crazy and killing Stefano! Looking back, those might have been some of the merrier moments of 2016 so far. Yeah, we needed a break from the bleak. You know, some summer fun! Um, "the season" summer not "the Bummer" variety, but we digress...
This comes as no big shock, but your faithful DAYS Two Scoopers watch too much TV. As such, we often wonder, "What if so-and-so lived in or visited Salem!?" This week, we're wondering just that aloud in Week Two of "Summer of Swaps." Trust us, the original list was long, but we narrowed it down to these ten (or so) non-soap non-Salemites we'd like to see hit town. It's meant to be fun, it's meant to be silly, and we definitely want to know who you'd invite to good ol' Salem, USA, so be sure to leave feedback below or Tweet us!
Kimmy Schmidt from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Yeah, let's just say it wouldn't hurt to have a do-gooding, eternal optimist whose best memories are stuck in the late '80s/'90s roaming around Salem spreading some cheer. She might inspire some to remember their glory days. Troll the respawn, Jeremy.
Tyrion Lanister from Game of Thrones
Younger brother with an older sibling who's pretty much a vengeful brat? Yeah, we think Tyrion might be able to talk Deimos into some smarter ways of getting what he wants. You know, since poisoning Maggie was such a good move.
Barden Bellas from the Pitch Perfect series
Since Shawn and Belle are so persistent that Claire goes to college, having the Barden Bellas come to Salem in an attempt to recruit Claire would be a win/win for all. We can imagine the Riff-Offs already, and several Salem singers could join in. Plus, we also want to see Fat Amy swoon (and hit on) Salem's hunky residents. In the end, Shawn and Belle could get an educated daughter, and she could sing and become best friends with this aca-awesome group. Um, yes, please.
Aly Raisman from The Olympics
Girl's got a game face and the determination to go with it. We'd love it if Kate brought her on to help develop an ath-lesiure line for Basic Black. Bonus points if she brings her parents with her. Then they can show Mama Hernandez how to worry about your kid and be endearing at the same time.
Hilary and David from Love It Or List It
There are some stunning Salem homes. Kayla has a handle on her chic crib. Hope always seems to have her place in check. And everyone else, well, the Salem Inn does the decorating for them. Specifically, there's this weird phenomenon in Salem where the more money you have, the worse your décor taste! So Hilary and David could come in and help out Chad. Sure, Chad has ties to his famiglia homestead, but one of us thinks that Hilary could do an amazing job with updating the mansion to make it a little less crypt, while the other one of us thinks David could find Chad some new digs to suit his needs. The secret passages are not negotiable, though.
Olivia Benson from Law and Order: SVU
Is there any question that Olivia and Hope met at a detective conference sometime? Of course they did. So how great would it be if a case took Det. Benson to Salem and needed help from the local P.D.? We love the idea of this girl power duo.
Jane Villanueva from Jane the Virgin
Gabi's got to have a friend from Mommy and Me class. This one actually has a crazier "how'd you get pregnant" story than Gabi. "Mistakenly artificially inseminated with my crush's sperm" tops "Had grief sex with my gay ex." We consulted the chart.
Sophia Petrillo from The Golden Girls
The thought of her mixing it up with Julie and Caroline is just too good to pass up.
Liz Lemon from 30 Rock
It's 2106 and the Spice Girls want their "Girl power!" back, Salem ladies. 30 Rock's Liz wrote a book entitled Dealbreaker, which was frank and frankly hilarious advice about relationships. Liz needs to hold a seminar in Horton Town Square to remotivate our typically strong Salem women. We can hear her already:
"Instead of proposing, your man proposes you should be his side-piece? Shut it down. That's a Dealbreaker, ladies."
"You thought your new husband planned on killing you on your wedding night, but your emotionally fragile teen daughter gave a thumbs-up to a reconciliation? Shut it down. Dealbreaker."
"You're husband's too stubborn to say he's sorry to the brother he unjustly sent to the slammer for thirty years, and now you're in a wheelchair and cry everyday as a result? That's a Dealbreaker."
"Your cousin hired you to babysit, but you want to play house with her hubby? Shut it down. Dealbreaker, ladies."
Shawn and Belle from Days of Our Lives
Sorry. We're still bitter that they were let go when they were individually and collectively the absolute best they've been in over a decade. We love the cutthroat legal eagle and the smart cop! #BringBackShelle
If you want to stroll down Summer Series Lane, below is a directory of past "DAYS Two Scoops Summer Series!"
Summer of Sinners (2013):
Hunky henchmen and other dodgy DAYS guest star baddies!
Wicked hot witches and short-lived villainesses! (Part 1)
Wicked hot witches and short-lived villainesses! (Part 2)
Parents' Worst Nightmares: Salem's biggest problem children
Schemers we love
Most sinister sinners
Summer Lovin' (2014):
What might have been
Love is lovelier the second (or third, or fourth) time around
Summer Lovin': Super kids from supercouples (Part 1)
Summer Lovin': Super kids from supercouples (Part 2)
Summer of Swaps (2016):
It should have been you
Are there any actors that you think have been saddled with bad roles? Do you have re-role-ing ideas of your own? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.