Be back in a jiffy

Miracles do happen! Neil regained his sight -- just in time to see Devon and Hilary sexing it up in the sack. Will Neil choose to remain blind to their indiscretion? Nick was awarded full custody of Faith. Will he ever allow Sharon her unsupervised visits, since they are at his discretion? For more, read this week's Two Scoops.

While I was watching a new CBS sitcom last week, a phrase was used that I had not heard in quite some time: "Be there in a jiffy." Then my mind started to wander. (Not that I was bored with your new comedy, CBS.) Which character on The Young and the Restless would be most likely one to use a quirky phrase like that? Maybe Chelsea. She's an independent lady and has no qualms with just being herself. Kelly might be another one, since we are just starting to see the layers of that character unfold, and the more we see, the more complex she appears to be. I can even see Nikki, during one of her binges, using a phrase like that. She would have to be pretty loosened up though. I can't really picture her saying something like that sober.

But my pick for the lady most likely to use that colorful phrase would have to be Phyllis. Red is flamboyant and her phraseology is fun to listen to. She reminds me of Chloe in that way, and Phyllis tends to paint a vivid and graphic picture with her unique style of talk. Her nickname does her justice. As a character who always marches to the beat of her own drummer (another quirky expression) and who is never afraid to speak her mind at any given moment, Phyllis lets her feelings and opinions be known in brilliant hues, even as she is burying herself with her glaring insecurities. Phyllis adorns herself with her radiant words, and I can only say, "Keep them coming!"

Sadly, it doesn't look like Phyllis will be saying, "Be back in a jiffy," anytime soon after she was arrested on charges of the attempted murder of Kelly Andrews. And Phyllis, being Phyllis and also her own worst enemy, immediately jumped to the conclusion that Jack had set her up to take the fall so that he could go running back to Kelly. Really? If that were true, why did Jack propose to Phyllis in the first place? Man, that would be showing some weird kind of loyalty if Jack were to marry Phyllis, knowing, deep in his heart, that he still desired Kelly. It would be just a tad extreme, don't you think? Poor Jack has to be confused. After a year, he finally got back the chance of a future with the lady he loved and he's seeing it all go south so quickly. How sad for him.

But Jack does love Phyllis, and while he did everything he could to help her (supposedly) get well, Phyllis only saw that he had betrayed her to the cops to get her arrested so he could get Kelly back. That's silly. Why go through all that trouble? That would be more cruel than if he had just dumped her for Kelly when he had originally needed to make his choice. If Jack had picked Kelly, Phyllis could have moved on with her life. Would she have, though? That's a moot point, since Jack chose Phyllis, and you would think she could have lived happily ever after with him. But instead, she stalked Kelly. Did she go so far as to poison her? I don't know. I still don't think so.

If this was indeed Kelly's diabolical scheme, I have to give her a lot of credit. It's not easy to get one over on Phyllis, and Kelly sure got her good. Even if Jack hasn't deserted Phyllis, you sure don't see them all snuggled up on the couch at home in front of a warm, cozy fireplace. Kelly actually got the results she wanted, since Jack and Phyllis were split up in a way, thanks to Phyllis' "voluntary" visit to Fairview. Just imagine though -- if Kelly really is behind all of this, think about how this has affected Phyllis, a lady who had just returned from a year-long coma. Phyllis already regrets losing a year of her life, away from her loved ones. She already lost so much time with her daughter, and she will only end up losing more due to her stint in either a jail or a mental hospital.

It's not always easy to feel sorry for Phyllis, but in this case, I do. It's true that Phyllis hasn't always paid for her crimes in the past but she sure has been paying her dues lately. You know the saying, "What goes around, comes around," and Phyllis is finally being punished for her past wrongs. But is Kelly squeaky clean in all of this? Somehow I doubt it. The funny thing is that Stitch seemed to believe that also. Stitch questioned if Kelly were still hung up on Jack, and he even suspected that if Phyllis were to bring Jack down, Kelly looked to be the one to pull him "back to the brink." Boy, if that ends up being the case, watch out, Jack! That would be a case of the devil you know (Phyllis) versus the devil that you don't (Kelly).

However, Kelly's claims of only being worried about Jack fell on Stitch's deaf ears and mine. If her own brother believes that there is more to Kelly's involvement in Phyllis' trip to Fairview, then who are we to disagree? And apparently, his reasoning has something to do with Kelly's failed marriage and her deceased son. But forget Kelly and Phyllis, fan Gayle had her own thoughts:

What if it's not Kelly or Phyllis? What if Patty is back and is trying to get rid of both the women in Jack's life?

Oh, I'm not sure I'm ready for another round of Patty. The best thing about Patty was that Doug Davidson was always able to showcase his remarkable acting in any scene with her. But he has already had other stories this year to try for another gold (as in Daytime Emmy), so we don't really need her return for that. However, if Patty were to return, at least it would beat having Paul thrown down the basement stairs only to find a corpse tied to a chair, strapped with a bomb that was about to go off. Way to go, General Hospital! That was some humdinger of a Friday cliffhanger. But somehow I don't think Paul really wants a fate similar to Dante's. And no Patty either!

Patty or no Patty, Jack almost sounded like he still doubted Phyllis' involvement in Kelly's poisoning. Or maybe he was just trying to ease his weary conscience. Shoot, Jack had to almost pound it into Kelly's head that there would never be a future for them. Jack finally took the blame for everything that had happened to Phyllis since her return from the coma and it was about time. He sure could have handled things differently.

I wondered why Jack went running to Kelly to tell her that Phyllis had been admitted to Fairview. I thought, at first, that he was informing her so she could celebrate her victory. I was relieved to hear that he was going to stand by Phyllis, no matter what it took. To me, Kelly seems to be very delusional right now in believing that there is still a chance for a future with Jack. The wrong person could very well be in the mental institution.

How gracious of Victor to almost admire Jack for admitting, "for the first time ever," that he had done something wrong. Well, all right, maybe admire is too strong a word. How about not scorn? Victor sure seems to be a pillar of virtue these days -- or is it all an act? Is dear Vic just re-gathering his troops for his next plan of attack on a very vulnerable and unsuspecting Jack? After all, Victor did seem to be going after the right ammunition when he stressed to Phyllis that he would be her ally on the outside. Yep, that sounds like he's preparing for downright war. How terrible to kick a man when he's down, but that would also be the best time to do it. Jack would never see it coming. So, who needs Chancellor Industries and the warehouse district when another trouncing of Jack Abbott could spin Victor's topsy-turvy world back into place? Is this what Victor is actually seeking?

Thanks to St. Victor, Jill was a force to be reckoned with, since she finally had the opportunity to acquire the company of her dreams, Chancellor Industries. And Victor offered Jill the chance to get her heart's desire before he put the company out to sell to the highest bidder. What?! Maybe Victor took a sip of that love potion sample after all. Oh wait, Victor claimed that he was doing it all in the name of love for Nikki. Yeah, like that has ever mattered before. But Victor was in one of his rare generous moods, so even if it was all for his family and to honor Katherine's legacy, what did it matter as long as Jill could get enough money to purchase the company? But where to get that kind of loot? Of course, Colin to the rescue!

Colin galloped in on his white charger (to his phone) and proceeded to blackmail Devon for more money -- but Devon called Colin's bluff. I couldn't believe Devon actually stuck to his guns this time. He finally got smart and turned to Cane, who revealed why Colin wanted the money. Crazy, huh? Why didn't Colin and Cane just do that in the first place? Oh, I know. Because Colin wanted to be the knight in white armor for his damsel in distress, Jill. Well, that illusion went kaput once Devon offered the money to Jill on the condition that Colin have nothing to do with the company. And, of course, Jill accepted the terms. But you know Colin isn't going to just calmly sit back and stay out of Chancellor's corporate affairs. Never!

But Colin did not know the terms, so he figured if he eliminated Cane through blackmail, it would be smooth sailing for Colin to guide Jill in the leadership of the company. In that way, Colin would be the puppet master and Jill his more than capable puppet. Too bad Devon put a stop to that. With Colin's obsession for the power and money he could have acquire through Chancellor Industries and his proclaimed love for Jill, will he now sacrifice one to try to attain the other? You would think it would be enough for Colin that Jill and Cane have the company to run again if he loved them both as much as he claimed. But I think Colin will end up resenting what he will not be allowed to have, and his love for Jill could very well sour.

But even if Colin would no longer be blackmailing Devon, that didn't mean that the reason for the blackmail was gone. Oh, no. Hilary envisioned several ways that Neil could learn of her and Devon's betrayal, which probably meant that none of them would happen. Let's see: Neil yelled like a madman at Hilary, was so furious with Devon that he killed him, and was so accepting of the truth that he just told her to be happy. Hmm, somehow I don't think the "reality" will play out in those rather far-fetched ways. That he would be hurt and upset would be a little more reasonable.

When a crushed Neil learned that he was dismissed from the experimental program, the future dimmed for Hilary and Devon as well. They had believed that once Neil's eyesight returned, they would be free to reveal their love for each other. Hilary and Devon were not the only desperate ones, though, since Cane wanted to end the blackmail that Colin was holding over his head, which was that he had kept the secret from Lily. Cane handed Neil the key to Devon's room and sent him on his merry way. But in a flash on the way to the room, Neil's eyesight returned, and he discovered Devon and Hilary in bed together. Now, that was a pretty good Friday cliffhanger in its own right. See, Y&R can do it too! But what will be Neil's reaction? Will any of Hilary's scenarios play out?

A broken-hearted and betrayed Neil could cry and demand to know what is going on. Or Neil could just quietly slip back out of the room, pretend that he is still blind, and let the charade continue. I mentioned this several weeks ago, and it could still hold true. If Neil's love crosses over to obsession, he could use his "blindness" as a way to hold on to Hilary. Neil's no dummy (although he has been playing the fool), and he would realize that Hilary has been staying with him out of a sense of loyalty and because Neil lost his vision. Is Neil desperate enough to want to stay married to someone who loves another? But wouldn't this ploy give Neil time to decide what to do about his son? Hilary and Devon both deserve whatever Neil serves them, and I hope he give them their just deserts.

Summer also seemed to be in a sort of a triangle, but it was a triangle of her own making -- in her mind. She continued to perceive Mariah as a threat to her marriage, but maybe she was just showing her own insecurities. Like mother, like daughter. Seriously, just like Phyllis, Summer feared that the man of her heart would turn and go running to another woman, even though her guy had already indicated on numerous occasions that he was with her to stay. Austin has given Summer no reason to believe Mariah will steal away her man. Mariah instigated the kiss, not Austin, and he keeps pointing the redhead in Kevin's direction. It doesn't sound like Summer has anything to worry about. Drama for drama's sake, I guess.

To me, Summer flip-flops between admiring Austin for wanting to make his own way in the world and yearning for the bright, shiny toys that she has been used to getting so easily throughout her entire life. Just when you think Summer is the "Miss Goody-Two-Shoes" she appears to be, a darker side of her emerges, and she looks like the typical, spoiled Newman brat. Sure, she may have a reason to dislike (or even hate) Sharon, but her extreme decision to get back at Sharon seemed a little over the top, especially since it was about a matter that she knew nothing about. The custody battle was about custody over Faith, not what Sharon did to Summer personally.

But Summer didn't care about that or about how Faith felt about having her mother taken from her. That's okay because she and her dad would be there for Faith, and all would be right with the world. Faith never really needed her mother anyway. I wonder if that's how Summer feels about Phyllis. But, of course, all of this probably has more to do with Mariah than Sharon anyway. Summer can be such a hypocrite. Or a "Princess Whiny Pants" as Mariah referred to her. But sure enough, Summer was ready to testify for Nick, and the battle lines were drawn.

Nick and his "Beat Up Sharon Bandwagon" gang mounted their charge against Sharon and her totally worthless attorney. Seriously, he was the best she could get? I sure hope she's not paying him a lot of money. Actually, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that Victor was paying him from behind the scenes to sabotage Sharon's case. Sharon's attorney seemed to do everything he could to help Nick's case against her. A perfect example was his question to Faith after she took the stand. Instead of asking her about how much she loved her mommy or trying to get her to admit that she would rather live with Sharon than Nick, the dense defense lawyer asked Faith about why Sage was in a robe at Nick's house. What?

So, let me get this straight: Faith's custody was being decided on the reason behind Sage's state of undress? The fact that Sage spilled water on her pants makes Nick the better parent, so much so that he should be granted full custody of Faith? I've seen some bad court cases on soaps, but this one takes the cake. The only other issue touched upon at all was Sharon's competence as a parent due to her bipolar disorder. Because, really, that's what it all boiled down to. Sure, Sharon made mistakes in the past, but then again, so did Nick. How come no one questioned that? Instead, the focus was totally on Sage and the possible chance that Sharon might go off her "meds" down the line. Yeah, and Nick might get hit by a bus tomorrow. It almost sounded like Faith's custody would be determined on something that may or may not happen in the future. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? It's the chance we all take.

If that is the reason for the decision, this could be a precedent for future cases. Any person with bipolar disorder should not be given a chance to live a normal life, even if that person is diligently taking their medication. Maybe we should extend that to all people who are on any type of medication at all, since they could also be ticking time bombs if they should choose to stop. You have high blood pressure? Nope, no chance for you, since you could die if you stop taking your pills. (Sad to say, that really happened to my brother-in-law once he discovered the "wonders" of coral calcium. He quit taking his blood pressure medication, which led to tragic consequences.) Nothing in life is guaranteed. Sharon's love for Faith should be what's important -- and Faith's need for her mom.

Sure enough, Nick was awarded full custody, so it looked like Faith wouldn't "be back in a jiffy" at her home. Sharon grieved over the loss of her second daughter at Cassie's grave, and my heart broke for her. Sharon cried that she was completely alone again, since she believed that Mariah and Noah had also betrayed her. At least Sharon has a friend in Dylan this time around, but nothing will help her with the pain of not having her child around.

Oh, Sharon was granted unsupervised visits with Faith -- at Nick's discretion. What? So, Nick can allow Sharon to see Faith once a day, once a week, once a month, or never during that year? Obviously the court didn't think Sharon was dangerous, or she wouldn't have been given unsupervised visits. So why weren't the terms of time regarding Sharon's visits specified? Everything will be determined on Nick's mood and good graces? This is unheard of.

Nick got the victory he sought, and since he gets to call all the shots regarding Sharon's visits, Faith could no longer have her mommy in her life. I am sure Victor and Nikki would do what they could to ensure Sharon would never get to see her daughter. Ahh -- the revenge they have been waiting for. Not that they hadn't gotten Sharon back enough already.

Everyone seemed to forget that Faith loves her mother. It only mattered that they could use Sharon's love for Faith against her. Nikki was so happy and cheerful when she went to Nick's. I am surprised she didn't carry in a bottle of Champagne (even if it wasn't her drink of choice). But she did break out the bubbly for Faith, as in a bubble bath. Okay, where are the party hats?

But Faith wasn't in the mood for a party, and in fact, after being frightened by a monster under her bed, she only cried out for her mommy. What a surprise. She's a little girl, for heaven's sake. Thankfully, Nick had no choice but to call Sharon over to settle their daughter down. And when he saw Sharon with Faith, he was reminded that Sharon had been a terrific mother to their child.

Nick promised Sharon he would call regarding her visitation, and that gave Sharon hope. And we can only hope that Nick is more rational now regarding Faith and her mother. Sharon was never a danger to Faith. Nick seemed to want full custody because he was angry with Sharon. When it comes down to the moral of this sad story, Sharon said it best, "I'm her mother, " to which Nick replied, "Yes, you are."

I am very relieved that Sharon backed out of burning her pictures in the fireplace. Those pictures hold so many memories and were totally irreplaceable. She would have forever regretted doing that. When she calms down more, she will realize that all of her children still love her, and she will want to have those pictures to hold near and dear to her heart. I still have and cherish the pictures of my sons at various ages throughout their lives. They are precious.

Mariah felt she had lost her mother, but Kevin remained by her side when he asked her to live with him -- as a friend. What's with Summer's childish attitude? Even when she wins, she whines. She witnessed Sharon's defeat for herself and that still wasn't good enough for her? Grow up, little girl. Mariah had other, real worries besides being homeless, since a building inspector mentioned that the club's structural problems could result in the club being shut down. She'd be homeless and unemployed. So she gratefully accepted Kevin's offer to move in with him.

While Sage appeared to be the main focus of the custody battle, she was a total non-issue for decorating her own place. Chelsea could have at least asked Sage if she was okay with Chelsea providing all the new dcor. As far as Chelsea knew, Adam, I mean, Gabriel and Sage were man and wife, so she still should want to get Sage's permission for something as personal as that. Or ask for Sage's help.

Well, hopefully, Sage will like the elegant, classy, beautiful, unique, but comfortable timeless beauty furnishings in a "catches your eye but not in your face" kind of way, since she will be the one living there. Gee, I wonder if Adam was thinking about Chelsea when he described what he wanted. Adam had better be careful that he doesn't give himself away. He seems to be getting closer and closer to revealing himself all the time.

At least Avery and Dylan can rest easy now that Victor has given up his battle to get control of the warehouse district. Or can they? Joe has been doing what he can to drive a wedge between the two, and he apparently had some success, since Avery slapped Dylan's face. I can almost picture Joe twirling his handlebar mustache now (if he had one). Honestly, it's straight out of a melodrama. Joe goes after the deed to the ranch (a.k.a. Crimson Lights), and after the lovely damsel's heart, while the hero, Dylan, struggles as he attempts to rescue the fair maiden.

Hey, this isn't the first time Dylan is playing the part of a hero. He just lost his cape for this romp. Joe: "I will take you from that simpleton, my dear, and then you will be mine." Avery: "No, no, a thousand times no!" Dylan: "Take your hands off her, you cad! I'm gonna run you right out of town." Avery: "My hero!" Oh yes, I've been in a melodrama or two.

But Dylan had better learn quickly how to make a better hero. He rather flubbed it, which explained why Avery slapped his face. If you are trying to win a lady's heart, it's probably best not to accuse the lass of turning to the villain for a better offer. Yes, Joe was right when he claimed that he had gotten what he had wanted from the entire business deal. I'm not so sure he wanted Avery's heart as much as he wanted to get even with both of them for the downfall of his marriage. Now that would make a great title of a melodrama. "The Innocence of a Crimson Rose or the Downfall of a Scoundrel's Marriage." Starring Dylan, Joe, and the sweet and pure Avery Bailey-Clark.

Other notable (or humorous) items that happened during the week

Maybe I should have more sympathy for Christine, but I don't. Since she is the A.D.A., she shouldn't be putting her own personal feelings above the law and shouldn't be using her position of authority to finally get the revenge she has craved against Phyllis. Plus, she did get worked up, as Paul noted, which could risk the health of her baby. Paul is the one to admire, since he has been the one trying to stay objective and rational. Good for him!

Oh yeah, and Victoria asked Ben to move in with her. I wish them the best of luck.

So, Chelsea found a shop that would provide her with all her decorating needs that also had same-day delivery. Wow, I want to shop there!

With all of her parents' bickering, I'm not surprised Faith wanted "the grand cloak of invisibility."

Don't we parents all remember those 2:00 and 4:00 feedings? We feel for you, Stitch.

As Jill and Cane left to sign the contracts for ownership of Chancellor Industries, Jill aptly remarked, "And we will go and rescue Katherine's company from the big, bad wolf before he huffs and puffs the whole damn thing down."

I also loved Jill's greeting to the contract, "Hello, gorgeous!" That reminded me of the greeting from Barbara Streisand's Fanny Brice to Omar Sharif's Nick Arnstein in Funny Girl, one of my favorite musicals of all time.

Kevin and Mariah humorously discussed moving in together. Kevin voiced, "Hmm...my expectations. Hypothetically, let's see, I would expect gobs and gobs of hair in the drain, and I would expect having yogurts in my fridge." Mariah noted, "I don't like yogurt." Kevin added, "Oh, fighting over the remote." Mariah quipped, "That sounds like me." They will be the perfect roommates, and I look forward to future exchanges between the two.

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