The final nail in the coffin

Chloe seemed to have found a permanent solution to a not-so-temporary problem. Has the final nail in the coffin been pounded in for her future in Genoa City? Or is there still a chance for Kevin and Chloe to go walking off into her psychedelic sunset? I say farewell to Kevin and Chloe in Two Scoops.

When the week started out, I was asking myself, could Chloe really, actually and finally, be dead? I would have laid odds that Victor and Dr. Harris had cooked up some plot to make it appear that Chloe was no longer a presence on this world so that Chelsea and Nick would end their search for her forever. But could her apparent demise be true? Had Chloe's physical body bid its final farewell, as her spirit and memory remain in Bella's and Kevin's hearts? I didn't count on it.

Sure, Paul announced to Nick and Chelsea that the Louisiana medical examiner had concluded that Chloe's death was a suicide due to a prescription overdose, but let's face it -- talk is cheap. Until I could see the physical evidence that an autopsy had been done, I was still very skeptical. Shoot, just show me Chloe's body, CSI style, and then I might be convinced.

However, Chloe's persona has always seemed to be large enough to overcome death, so I knew I wouldn't be surprised if she were very much among the living and ready to provide Kevin with an exit out of town. I could almost mentally picture the two of them walking lovingly, hand in hand, into their very own psychedelic sunset. With Chloe, you know the colors would have to be vivid and bright, because she couldn't just fade away. And that could still very well happen for Kevin to leave Genoa City with Bella to be with the wacko love of his life in a place where nobody could find them. Apparently, Victor hadn't done a good enough job the first time of hiding her, so he would be given another chance to keep Chloe and their secrets stashed away for good. Victor's just lucky in that way.

But even if Chloe were really no longer on this earth, would it be a surprise? I mean, the writers pretty much painted Chloe into a corner when they had her kill Adam. Seriously, that was the final nail in her coffin, pun absolutely intended. That almost brings to mind an image of a vampire with a wooden stake driven into his heart -- like Barnabas Collins on Dark Shadows. I loved that show. Barnabas always had to worry about someone finding his trusty coffin in the cellar, which would reveal his secret about being one of the undead. Chloe would appreciate that, I am sure, although I'm not saying Chloe is a vampire or even a witch like Angelique, as much as she would like to be. But if she were truly dead, wouldn't Chloe get a kick out of haunting those left behind -- like Victor? Somehow, though, I doubt if any amount of ghostly sightings would frighten Victor too much.

Oops, sorry, I got a little distracted. Anyway, Sharon stated when she heard of Chloe's apparent suicide that killing oneself was a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but in Chloe's case, I'm not so sure her problem was all that temporary. Chloe just kept spinning more and more out of control. While it's true that both Sharon and Chloe had mental health issues, Sharon, at least, eventually tried to get help for hers. Chloe had many chances to try to get better, but she never seemed to want to. Her mental health problems just kept getting worse and worse and worse. Therapy and medication couldn't help Chloe, if she was always disregarding them.

This may be the last time I say toodle-oo to her, so I will try to be nice. Chloe did have some funny one-liners. I will miss that from her. Uh, okay, that's all I've got. I have never been fond of Chloe (to say the least), starting from her scheme to trick Cane into believing that he was the father of her child. Chloe had only wanted what Lily had and had lied her way into getting it, except, of course, it had never been real. Billy, not Cane, was proven to be Delia's father, and yet, Chloe still never learned her lesson.

Delia's accidental death was the straw that broke the camel's back -- and Chloe's mind. There's was no turning back to a healthy mentality after that. Chloe's determination to kill Adam, even though he had never meant to run over her darling daughter, proved she couldn't honestly process the truth. In her mind, Adam had to pay, and she made sure of it. It never mattered to Chloe that she was murdering her best friend's husband and the love of her life. Yes, indeedy, Chloe was selfish to the end -- if it is, in fact, the end.

Kevin believed Chloe to be dead and lying in her coffin when he attended the funeral. That truly was a small gathering: Kevin, Esther, Bella, Gloria, Michael, Lauren, Paul, and Father Tom. I guess Chloe had been burning her bridges with people all over town. She had definitely blown up the one with her best friend, who suddenly made an unexpected appearance. I wasn't so shocked when Kevin "blew up" at seeing Chelsea and Nick at the funeral, but I was pretty surprised that he took all of his anger out on Nick, since Nick had never wanted to go searching for Chloe in the first place.

How was it Nick's fault that Chelsea was determined to find her former BFF? He couldn't stop her search, so he accompanied her instead. Chelsea was the one steering that boat. Nick was just the passenger along for the ride. Eventually, Kevin did include Chelsea in his tirade, though, right before he tossed them both out. Okay, they left voluntarily, but that was so Kevin wouldn't have to kick them out.

It was such a sweet service, with Father Todd expressing that Chloe would never be gone as long as she lived on in her loved ones' hearts. His speech was almost tear-jerking. It's just too bad more people didn't have the chance to hear it. And after it was all over and Kevin was left alone to say his final bye-bye-bye to his fiance, the lid of the coffin was lifted up by the hand of the person inside. That was terrific and so funny.

Needless to say, Kevin passed out cold on the church floor. Who can blame him? You don't see something like that happening at every funeral. So I learned I was right! Chloe was still alive, and you could bet your bottom dollar that Victor had something to do with it. Victor can even pull a marionette's strings from beyond the grave -- or from a coffin, in this case.

And sure enough, when Dr. Harris popped in to claim Chloe's "remains," I knew for certain that Victor had helped Chloe fake her death so people would quit searching for her. Well, faking one's death is actually something that has been done in "the real world." However, before Kevin could ride off into the sunset with his love, he had some goodbyes to hand out. Man, I hate goodbyes. They always seem to be so final. Just say ta-ta for now (or TTFN for those who prefer to talk in shorthand), and I'm cool -- but not goodbye. I appreciated the humor when Kevin arrived at Michael's door, and Gloria exclaimed that Kevin looked "white as a sheet." Or as a ghost, Gloria? Maybe that's because he thought he had just literally seen the spirit of his beloved who had just left this earth.

I was so glad Mariah returned in time to wish her friend well and to hope that Kevin found what he needed in his travels. Kevin thanked Paul for teaching him that not everything was colored in shades of black and white, because gray areas do exist. Kevin was grateful that Michael and Lauren had shown him what it was like to have a good and loving relationship. Kevin acknowledged that Gloria had been supportive when he had needed her most and that Michael was the best brother -- and best friend -- that any guy could have. Come on, these were some pretty final farewells for someone who was only traveling to Tahiti for a short getaway. But, of course, Kevin knew he wouldn't be returning, even if they didn't. Kevin has always been one of my favorite characters, so I am sad he is leaving our show and our lives. Maybe one day, Kevin Fisher will cross our paths again -- without Chloe!

But first, Kevin needed to leave on his "two-week vacation," and he stole one of the guns kept as evidence at the police station to be his traveling companion. You don't suppose he was suspecting trouble at the good doctor's house, do you? Chloe pleaded that Kevin hurry to her aid, and it was obvious that she felt safer in the coffin than she did with Dr. Harris. Victor told the physician to take good care of Chloe, but did he really mean for the doc to "take care" of Chloe? Was taking good care of Chloe code for her to be sleeping with the fishes?

Hilary is more and more starting to remind me of a certain someone with a prominent mustache who likes to keep potential victims dangling on a string. Is Cane nuts? Why is he allowing Hilary to wield the power of the Tokyo secret over him? Cane can't possibly believe this is all going to turn out well, since there is no love lost between Hilary and Lily. It's rather funny in a way, when you think about it.

At one time, Lily had to worry about the harm Chloe would do to her relationship with Cane, and now Hilary is the threat. Lily just can't catch a break. Of course, it would help if Cane and Lily would quit cheating on each other. And the saddest thing about it all is that, besides Lauren and Michael, Cane and Lily are the couple with the healthiest relationship in town. Actually, it's pretty scary, when you think about it. (Shoot, Victor and Nikki would be at the bottom of the healthy relationship list.)

So, Hilary has the power, and Juliet has the power. I guess Juliet wants to be as miserable as Hilary, since she's taking advice from her. It's true that people who are unhappy tend to want others to be as miserable as they are. Well, in that case, Juliet has the very best mentor money can buy. (And Hilary would probably cash in on it.) If anyone can teach Juliet the way to a life of wretchedness, it's Hilary. Juliet can ask Hilary's former husbands about that, although I suspect Devon hasn't quite gotten over his passion for his ex. Heck, Neil's probably still a tad smitten also.

What does Juliet think she's going to accomplish with a sexual harassment lawsuit? Does she think Victoria is going to plead for Juliet to take her job back? Well, that won't happen. And besides, Juliet is the one who did the pursuing, since Cane was ridiculously plastered. He barely remembers what happened. No, the only thing Juliet can accomplish by going after Cane with a lawsuit is to destroy his marriage.

Yep, that sure sounds just like something Hilary would do. But Hilary didn't have to do it, since Juliet was doing it for her. Oh, yeah, Hilary sure was pulling Juliet's strings, wasn't she? Juliet had better hope she quickly transforms from being Hilary's puppet, before the former Mrs. Hamilton ruins her life. Since Hilary has no conscience, will Jiminy Cricket come to Juliet's rescue?

It didn't appear so, especially since it was Hilary who kept whispering into Juliet's ear, not Pinocchio's singing cricket. And Hilary won't be telling Juliet to give a little whistle to always let her conscience be her guide. For one who hadn't even been present that night in Tokyo, Hilary sure spun the event into something very sordid and seedy. It went from a drunken one-night stand to a plot where Juliet's superior took advantage of her in every possible way. So what if Hilary changed a few of the details from that night. That didn't matter as long as Hilary...I mean, Juliet won. Is it any wonder that Hilary's marriages didn't work out, when her hatred burns so deeply from within?

But Juliet's "fictitious sexual harassment claim" could prove to be the undoing for legitimate cases of sexual harassment in the workplace. When a woman makes a phony allegation for her own selfish purposes, it can ironically be like the boy crying wolf for future genuine claims. Hilary practically insisted that Juliet was making her accusation for all womankind, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. This kind of falsehood will make it hard for ladies threatened with actual sexual advances at work to be believed. If Hilary is speaking and acting on behalf of women everywhere, we need a new representative.

If Hilary is successful in blasting Lily's marriage into tiny bits, she will still need to find a way to have Lily's career come to a grinding halt. Even after the betting controversy, the hockey league still wanted Lily as the face (and body) of their product line. More photo shoots! Lily was thrilled she still had her exciting career to fall back on, which will probably be a good thing, once she learns of Cane's betrayal. Gosh, once Cane learned that Hilary knew about that fateful night in Tokyo, he was a dummy to keep quiet. And Hilary was his ventriloquist.

Since Chloe is leaving us, she must have decided to leave her delusional tendencies with Cane. How does he think he's ever going to win this thing, since he continued to try to cover up the drunken one-night stand? But Cane was right when he said Juliet had pressured him with that regretful night to force him to get her a job at Brash & Sassy. If anyone was using sexual coercion, it would have been Juliet. You don't have to be someone's boss or even a woman, for that matter, to be a victim of sexual harassment at the workplace.

But Cane's lies made him appear to be the culprit. Dumb, Cane, dumb. And did he really think by telling Hilary she would regret instigating the lawsuit, he would have her shaking in her pretty little pumps? Hilary will just use the heel of her shoe to grind Cane into the ground. If Cane doesn't confess to Lily soon, he will just sink deeper and deeper into his own bottomless pit.

It's funny how Cane's version of that night never includes the inevitable conclusion. But since Cane has little memory of the night, wouldn't his innocent tale of events be considered the truth if he told it on the stand in a court case? Oh, wait, he didn't wake up alone, plus he did eventually remember kissing Juliet. Never mind. But even in his inebriated memory, Juliet didn't look like she was fighting him off or was totally repulsed by his advances. In fact, Juliet gave as good as she got in their lip-locking session. But why would Hilary let those piddly little details get in the way of her scandalous fairy tale?

And Hilary even claimed to Jordan that it was all about the scoop and the ratings for her show, although Jordan could see it for what it really was -- a chance to stick it to Lily. I bet that was the first time Hilary had been compared to a creature other than a snake, although I'm not sure being compared to a mongoose by your lover is a step up. Oh, well, if the tail fits. Even with Michael at his side, Cane will have a hard way to go, since Victoria refused to settle. Because there was definitely sex, even if there was no harassment, Hilary was right when she told Lily to "stand by your man." (I loved Tammy Wynette!)

With just a little twist of the wrist, Dina suddenly snagged Ashley's support -- hook, line, and sinker. Dina just had to reel her in, and with a sad goodnight and goodbye, she did just that. Ashley and Jack were determined to discover Graham's ulterior motives concerning Dina, since there was no way he could be enamored by her charm, right? And maybe he was too good to be true. Perhaps Jack just wanted to prove he was still his mother's "little shooting star." It was gracious of him to want to give Dina another chance, though, after she had deserted them.

But finally, Graham slipped up just a little to give Ashley a peek of what may really be going on. "One more time." That made it sound like Dina was dying, which would make sense, especially if she had regrets about the way she had left her children behind, motherless. This could be Dina's last hurrah, and she could have wanted to make amends with her kids before she left this earth. Maybe she was finally being unselfish enough to want her children to live their lives without any lingering bitterness and anger toward their mother. And really, if Traci, Jack, and Ashley believed Dina had loved them in the end, wouldn't that be a remarkable gift?

Reed and Mattie. Let's see. We have a nicey-nicey guy who's obsessed with music and a pretty, sweet, and studious book nerd for our next possible pairing. Ho-hum. Reed actually has the unique problem in that his goody-two-shoes cousin, Noah, has already taken the obviously more enthralling storylines of being with a selfish gold digger as well as a self-absorbed ex-con spouting a phony accent. What's a nice guy to do?

Surely, there are other riveting teen angst stories out there in the world that would provide some kind of drama. Reed also has trouble getting angry, which works against him in a way. And by that, I mean yelling at the top of your lungs angry. Okay, he got mad at Billy for kissing Phyllis in his mother's home, but in five seconds flat, all was hunky-dory, and he was the best of friends with Billy again. I just don't know how much conflict can arise between two such likable people as Reed and Mattie. But since they were both SORAS'd, something has to be done with them, I guess.

Just like his father, Noah does have a history of rescuing girls. (Sharon said people, but seriously, Noah, like Nick, pretty much narrows his focus on females.) And this time, his efforts were going toward a young lady spooked by her mysterious past. Why on earth was Tessa hesitating to jump on Devon's fantastic offer of a recording deal? Because of some guy named Zach? What is he to her? An ex-boyfriend? Her agent? A radio disc jockey? Do they even have those anymore?

The answers are slow in coming. However, Nikki learned that Victor swayed Tessa over onto his side of the fence too. After all, Victor's pasture is much greener, since it's fertilized with money, than Nikki's could ever be. Is there no one in Genoa City whom Nikki can trust? Or that Victor can't buy?

Welcome back, Father Todd! It's always great to see Corbin Bernsen return to Y&R. Katherine would be so proud!

I felt so uncomfortable watching Connor sit on Chelsea's lap at the park. For one thing, he looked a little old to be doing that, and also, he looked so totally bored. It would have looked more natural for him to be standing by her side or jumping around in the vicinity or anything else a normal kid would do. But not sitting on her lap. Ugh.

Poor deluded Scott, believing, after he had become ensnared in Victor's web, that he could actually untangle himself to have a life of choice and freedom. (Insert hysterical laughter.) You can run, and you can hide. But you will never escape, my friend.

So now that Sharon has divorced Dylan and is trying to move on with Scott, could Dylan be on his way back with a whole new face? Stranger things have happened -- like having Chloe pop up from inside a coffin.

Until next time, please stay tuned.Teddi

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