Where has all the Love in the Afternoon gone?

Trina finally has her freedom, and some rough beast from Elizabeth's past, its hour come round at last, slouches toward Port Charles to be born.

Greetings again, dear readers and fellow Port Charles residents alike. I'm Steve, often known as Not Tamilu and Not Liz, who normally write this weekly column with far more craft than I can. I'm pinch-hitting this week for Liz. The word on the street is that she's unable to write this week because she's been busy putting some things in a barrel to burn outside the terrace at Wyndemere, but I digress. Let's begin!

Some things have changed since mid-June when I last wrote the Two Scoops column, while others are still moving at a glacially slow pace. Trina finally has her freedom at long last, we now know the official cause for Willow's fainting spell at the hospital, and some rough beast from Elizabeth's past, its hour come round at last, slouches toward Port Charles to be born. Additionally, Ned and Valentin teamed up to take Drew and Michael down a notch in glorious fashion. Chase and Brook Lynn are still trying to decide if they "like like" each other, or if they only "like" each other, because both are still acting as if they're in junior high instead of adults in their 30s. Oh, and about that barrel outside the terrace at Wyndemere? That's because a couple of Port Charles residents are foolish enough to believe that Esme Prince might really be dead.

For now, let's start with some good news. At long last, our sweet Trina finally has her freedom after being exonerated in court for a crime that only a sociopath could commit. Forgetting for a moment how far-fetched it was that Trina would commit such a hateful crime as revenge porn against her two closest friends, it is rare to see the entire audience united behind a common storyline on a soap opera such as this one. But they were, and it made Trina's exoneration all the more satisfying to know that all viewers were happy that Trina won her freedom.

Among the actual citizenry of Port Charles, it was great to watch Trina's family and friends rejoice when the judge officially dismissed the case. I loved seeing the relief wash over everyone's faces, especially Brook Kerr's Portia, Nicholas Chavez's Spencer, and most of all, Tabyana Ali's Trina. Carolyn Hennesy was fantastic, as always, as Diane. I loved seeing the compliments dished out by Diane and Robert Scorpio (played by the illustrious Tristan Rogers), even if they were blink-and-miss.

So, yes, there was some genuine happiness on the show this week, and it was a much welcomed change of scenery to see members of different families all jubilant over the outcome of Trina's trial. But, Mr. and Mrs. Port Charles, in spite of how euphoric we all feel about Trina's exoneration, something else is on my mind. When I take a look around Port Charles, I'm forced to ask myself some questions:

1.) Where is the happiness?

2.) Where is the love?

3.) Where is the old-fashioned "Love in the Afternoon" that once made ABC a hallmark for daytime viewing in the homes of our parents and grandparents?

I'm not seeing it, or at least I'm not seeing enough of it. As I take a look around Port Charles, I see far too many characters who are straight-up miserable. Some are lost, some are in denial, some are helpless, and some are straight-up bullies and borderline thugs.

To start with, let's talk about the self-righteousness and utter rot that has become the ingrate children, adoptive children, and stepchildren of one Sonny Corinthos. First, there's Michael, who has become nothing more than a brooding punk. Michael is so hellbent on destroying Sonny that it's become his obsession. As I stated in my first Two Scoops column, I have no issue with Michael being angry at Sonny as a general rule of thumb, but the reason for his anger now is hard for me to buy.

Essentially, to hear Michael tell it, he would rather Sonny have stayed dead in Nixon Falls than to return to Port Charles, if that meant Sonny might find happiness with someone who isn't Carly. On what planet does this make sense? Also, news flash, Michael: you've cheated, too.

Then there's Josslyn, who becomes more self-absorbed and oblivious to everyone around her with each week. Josslyn, too, has since decided that she "despises" (in her own words) Sonny. As with Michael, the reasons are a bit two-faced. Look, I understand a daughter being angry at a man who cheated on her mother, especially when that man wasn't her real father. But therein lies part of the problem: Josslyn has spent years living high off the land as a spoiled, entitled princess in large part because of the protection and privilege that Sonny has always afforded her as Carly's daughter. This privilege still exists today, and it was on full display the past two weeks when Josslyn learned that Sonny had sent Dex to threaten a juror and to coerce a "not guilty" verdict in Trina's trial. Apparently, Joss still has no problem accepting Sonny's help, but only when it benefits her or a friend. Talk about using your privilege.

If you want to make the argument that Josslyn should hate Sonny, I'll make a counterargument that Josslyn should have always hated Sonny -- for much the same reasons that Michael should have stayed angry at Sonny back in 2014. Think about all the underhanded things that Sonny has done to Jax through the years, most of it out of sheer childish jealousy, such as Sonny's attempt to get Jax deported as recently as 2017. Then there's A.J., who Sonny left on a meat hook and forced to drink alcohol, knowing that A.J. was in recovery from alcoholism.

Those were truly despicable things done by Sonny, yet Michael and Josslyn never chose to hate Sonny for them or to start a vendetta against him when they grew older and learned about those truths. Why is it that Carly is the only reason her children can decide, practically overnight, that they hate Sonny and want nothing to do with him? Is Carly's hold over her children this strong, or did I miss the episodes where she was given honorary sainthood by the Archdiocese of Port Charles?

Also, Sonny never stopped being a "family man." or some such nonsense, after his time in Nixon Falls. He made that clear recently when he went to visit Spencer at the police station to "coach" his nephew on how to survive his time in Pentonville. Those scenes between Sonny and Spencer were some of the best the show has aired recently, and I highlight them to say that Sonny's family still means the world to him. What's changed is the ingrate children and stepchildren, both of whom seem to choose misery and bitterness over true love.

We all know that Michael is in for some serious comeuppance and a humbling that will hopefully last him a few years. Willow's leukemia diagnosis is just the start of it. Hopefully, the news of Willow's diagnosis and the threat it poses not only to her but to the couple's unborn child will inspire Michael to drop this silly vendetta against Sonny at once and get his priorities straight. The writers of this show seem to have gone out of their way in recent weeks to point out that Michael has a perfect life.

Whenever writers do this on a soap, you can be sure that everything is about to go to hell in a tea kettle for that character. It truly pains me that things have reached this point for me with Michael, because I'd always liked him until recently. For now, though, whatever Michael has got coming to him, it couldn't happen to a more deserving, smug jerk.

My hope is that Sonny is the one to beat Carly to the punch and tell Nina and Willow the truth that Nina is Willow's biological mom. I want to see Michael's reaction when that secret comes out about Willow and how it pertains to her health, and I'd prefer that Sonny drop the bombshell before Carly has the chance to put her own selfish spin on it.

Anyway, that's more than enough about the Corinthos clan.

In other news, it's time for Elizabeth to call it quits with Hamilton "Doctors Without Boundaries" Finn. Now. This relationship should have ended a month earlier when Liz returned to work from her stay at Shadybrook. Instead, we were subjected to Finn bellyaching about his grief, his agony, and his regret. What, exactly, does Finn regret? That he hasn't been able to sleep with a grieving widow who is in serious need of professional help that (surprise) an infectious disease doctor can't offer? Instead, we were subjected to Elizabeth apologizing to Finn for what she'd put him through. Folks, that is cringeworthy.

Finn has repeatedly ignored and all but spit on Elizabeth's boundaries. He used her children as an excuse to visit her at Spring Ridge, hiding behind Jake and Cam in an effort to get some alone time with a woman he's been lusting after for months. Elizabeth may be in denial and on the verge of a mental breakdown due to a trauma from her past, but what part of "no means no" does Finn not understand? No offense to all of our great infectious disease doctors out there, but asking an infectious disease doctor to help with someone's childhood traumas is akin to saying, "You know, my plumber did such a great job snaking my toilet! I wonder why he couldn't fix the transmission on my Toyota?"

Finn has gone from an otherwise likable character with a beautiful daughter in Violet, an intelligent and caring father in Gregory, and a charming brother in Chase to a borderline creep -- so much so that I've often asked myself who Elizabeth's true stalker was: herself/alter or Finn? The bottom line is that Finn is not the doctor who can help Liz. That would be Kevin. Along with Laura and Scott, Kevin seems to be the only person in Port Charles besides Elizabeth's three boys who seemingly want what's best for Elizabeth.

Folks, don't get me started on Terry, either. Cassandra James is a fantastic actress and a caring humanitarian to boot, so this isn't any issue with the actress. But Terry has done nothing to help Elizabeth since all this started, and she's done everything to cater to Finn's increasingly selfish needs, whims, and desires.

I've heard from people recently who claim that Elizabeth needs a new best friend in her life, but that's missing a larger point. The truth is, Elizabeth has not had a true best friend since the old pre-2018 Nikolas Cassadine. I don't care how many times Terry overuses that lame "Biz" nickname every third sentence, she is not a best friend to Elizabeth Imogene Webber, legacy character and granddaughter of Steve Hardy, the founding father of General Hospital.

Speaking of legacy characters, is Jeff Webber about to get the old Victor Lord treatment? Surely not. I don't think we're headed down that path, but I'm beginning to feel just as uneasy about some of the flashbacks that Elizabeth is having now that Rebecca Herbst is allowed to star in more than two episodes per month. Whatever Elizabeth is starting to remember, I hope it's nothing near as bad as what Victor was revealed to have done to his daughter, the matronly Victoria, back in Llanview (Google it, it's near Nixon Falls!) in the early 90s.

It would take a lot of suspended disbelief, even in the crazy universe that is Soap World, to believe that Jeff Webber had once done something, anything, heinous to his daughter. Jeff was truly one of the good guys whose character only left the show to pursue a life with Doctors Without Borders. Whatever Elizabeth is beginning to remember, I can't imagine that it's as bad as the aforementioned Victor Lord. The silver lining is that whatever this secret is that Liz has blocked, Rebecca Herbst will surely knock it out of the park. For that, I can't wait to see her 25th anniversary storyline that we fans have been wanting for months.

So, about that barrel outside Wyndemere. Does anyone really expect us to believe that Esme has met her maker? I don't believe for a second that Esme is truly dead, Mr. and Mrs. Port Charles. Avery Kristen Pohl has done such a phenomenal job in the role of Esme that to just be let go like this, without any closure, would be almost criminal.

Viewers have pointed out that the actress has a three-year contract role with the show, which is standard for many cast members but especially daytime newcomers. I admit I've been "smitten," if you will, by Esme since she arrived in Port Charles in the summer of 2021. I know she's bad, I know she's wrong, I know that she's even evil at times. What she did to Trina and to Ava must require a stay in Pentonville if Esme is ever to gain any redemption and find love in the afternoon, unless there's a convenient brain tumor inside Esme's head and it turns out that Ryan Chamberlain was only a figment of her imagination this whole time.

Whether you love her or hate her, Esme is still can't-miss TV for me! The casting folks at General Hospital knocked it out of the park with an all-star cast of daytime newcomers this past year with the additions of Ms. Pohl, Nicholas Chavez, and Tabyana Ali, who's been a phenomenal Trina recast. I love the teen scene as it relates to those three actors and characters, plus William Lipton's Cam. I don't want to see the foursome of Spencer, Cameron, Trina, and Joss broken up.

As for Esme, my guess is the writers are merely taking some time to figure out the best direction to take the character in next. My own guess is that Esme returns by late October or early November with a swollen belly that she'll no doubt claim is of Nikolas' doing. That would make for good theater for several reasons. One, Nikolas would not have the heart to kill a woman who was pregnant with his supposed child.

Second, since such a theoretical storyline would likewise have to include the current Mrs. Cassadine, it would also be a bit of life coming full circle for our dear Ava! Lest viewers forget, Ava was a dead woman walking eight years ago when she magically avoided a straight-up execution at the hands of Sonny, who learned that Ava had murdered Connie Falconeri in cold blood. Then, Ava announced that she was pregnant, and all these years later, she's still here (thankfully).

The point is, Ava is alive and well today because she had the dumb luck of getting pregnant out of hate sex with Sonny, which led to Avery's birth. It would certainly be ironic if the thing that once kept Ava alive (a baby from a weird twist of fate) also kept Esme alive and in Ava's life nearly a decade later! Can you imagine how awkward Wyndemere would get, especially if Ava and the deliciously evil and charming Victor decide to hang around? I doubt there's a hurricane big enough to keep Ava from swimming to the mainland if that happened, but crazier things have happened. As Victor himself noted this week, nothing makes people stay together more than mutual destruction!

On the subject of Ava, I wrote this on Twitter a few weeks ago, and I feel this needs to be repeated on a larger platform than just my few hundred followers: Maura West is a national treasure. She has never, not once, "phoned it in" in any scene in her nine years in Port Charles. I've grown to truly love and care about Ava Jerome over the years, and that's all thanks to Maura West. When Ava said, "Poor Nikolas. Seduced... by a HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE," you didn't move for a solid minute.

Reader Dave Jordan replied: "I've said this before but it bears repeating: Maura West is the best thing to hit Port Charles in years. She consistently raises the bar and leaps over it. One daytime critic told me she 'is the closest thing there ever was to Beverlee McKinsey.' Maura is daytime's finest."

I couldn't agree more, Dave.

A few random thoughts for the road... Congrats to Kin Shriner on his 45th anniversary on the show this past week! I know Kin didn't get a stand-alone episode the way others have, but I'm glad we got to see Scotty mixing things up with Lucy, Elizabeth, and, of course, his darling schnitzel Liesl. I don't care for the historical rewrite of Dominique Stanton, but Scott's passion and love for Dominique still shines to this day, thanks to Kin.

Does anyone notice how quiet Selina Wu is? Unlike so many members of organized crime to hit Port Charles over the years, Ms. Wu does not announce her presence with the sound of trumpets and a parade down Main Street. She's stealthy and manages to show up at the right place at the right time, such as when she ordered the Home & Heart Channel to shut it down after Sasha's on-air breakdown. This is a far cry from previous mob bosses like Faith Rosco and Claudia Zacchara. Those women were just a foil for Sonny. Selina seems different. Sonny would be wise to keep an eye on Selina and to stay on her good side.

Britt is a highly successful and accomplished doctor, in spite of whatever mistakes she's made. There is also nothing at all wrong with a man or woman who chooses to be single. Not every woman is a damsel in distress who needs to be "rescued" by a man.

Speaking of Britt, congrats to Kelly Thiebaud on returning to primetime and her role on ABC's Station 19. I'll be sad to have to say so long to Britt again, and I hope the role isn't recast. Ms. Thiebaud will always be Britt to me.

With news that Rena Sofer is leaving The Bold and the Beautiful, now would be a perfect time to see Lois back in Port Charles. Even if it's for a limited run, it's been far too long since we've seen Rena's Lois interacting with Ned (1997, to be specific, unless I've missed a special episode or two). Ned and Lois were a major supercouple back in the day. Now that Lois and Ned have a daughter who's in her 30s, there's enough material to give Lois plenty to do in and around town.

What will happen tomorrow, Mr. and Mrs. Port Charles? Will Chase and Brook Lynn ever just admit their feelings once and for all and start acting like adults? That would be Love in the Afternoon! Who is the mystery woman Austin answers to, and why on earth is she hiding in a town that almost rhymes with Podunk? Will Victor ever reveal the true reason he killed Luke, assuming that Luke is really dead? Will Anna and Valentin finally give in to temptation and go all the way? That would definitely be Love in the Afternoon! Will the Yankees ever win another series and stop this losing streak? Wait, sorry. Wrong column for that.

As my friend Tamilu says in this space: only tomorrow knows, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

Peace and love to all! Thanks for reading!Steve

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.