Sheila Carter gave good face

Look around! Everywhere you turn, Steffy is trying to push her parents together. It's everywhere that you go! And when all else fails, the talk doesn't stop about whether Thomas should take his son back. But Sheila struck a new pose -- with only nine toes! Was it too soon? Get in vogue with B&B with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you get custody of talking about custody? Should you have been given a time-out instead of your infant son? Did you use plastic to pay for a plastic face? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Finnegan clan this week!

Don't just stand there, Scoopers! Like Steffy is, yapping non-stop about Taylor and Ridge. Or Thomas, Hope, and everyone in their orbit yapping about Douglas' custody. Because the real story is this burgeoning connection between barracuda Bill and lifesaver Li. Yeah, "Bill-Li Bob!" And just when you thought it was safe to fire all your security guards, Sheila returns as a lady in red! Was it plausible? Let's Scoop about it!

Li visited Bill in his big empty house to thank him for salvaging her from that alley near the wharf, and to pass on the news that Sheila was dead. Li had hoped that Sheila would be torn up in prison about losing everything, but Li was just as happy that Sheila had been torn up by a bear! "Good to know we think alike," Bill said as he grinned. Even if you're not Hansel or Gretel, you could see that first breadcrumb being dropped.

And Bill's not wrong. I did say many weeks ago that Sheila might have found her match in Li, who was not afraid to stand up against the former nurse and current son shooter. It wasn't inaccurate when Bill talked about what a reserve of strength Li has. We didn't know much about her when she first came on, and I assumed she and Jack would just be there for Finn's wedding, and that's it. But Li's personality is coming into view.

"Not much scares me," Li said matter-of-factly. Apparently not! This became evident when we finally got to hear how she survived Sheila using Mike's car (let's not forget that it was his, even if the show did) to force Li's SUV into whatever body of water that was supposed to be. Li said she had relied on a kind of survival instinct and gotten herself free from the watered-down ride before swimming to shore.

Bill was impressed, and I actually am, too, because Li got over the trauma of her accident as quickly as she was stricken mute by it. B&B should have slowed the pace on that a bit. Bill couldn't stop singing Li's praises and was sure her husband was thrilled to have her home. But to Li, Jack's reaction to her ordeal was irrelevant. Because Li and Jack were "no longer together"!

We figured that, but do we mean "no longer together" like just not sharing the same house, or like an actual divorce? Because the show has been really sloppy about clearly defining relationships for a while now. We never found out why Rick and Maya split; we don't even know for sure if Zende is divorced from Nicole. Have Eric and Quinn filed? When did Finn and Steffy actually make their marriage valid?

You see the problem. The other thing I'm wondering is, does Jack know his son is alive? The last time we saw Jack, he was crying to the Forresters about having lost him. Whether or not Jack is "freaked out" by things may "mean very little to [Li]," but surely even his betrayal with Sheila isn't enough to keep Li from letting Jack know that Finn didn't die.

Knowing if Li is single now would also help my growing excitement about the possibility of a Li/Bill pairing. After all, Bill was very definite when he said that he and Katie weren't married (and haven't actually been since 2016, FYI). Katie hadn't been happy with the lengths that Bill would go to to protect his sons, Bill relayed, noting that he and Li seemed to have that in common. Maybe there were more commonalities!

Bill told Li that he would listen if she needed to talk about what she'd gone through with Sheila, and Li hugged Bill for that effort. Don't tell me I was the only one who saw a spark fly! It was just one, but it was enough to get me all tingly. Li would probably be just fine with Bill's ruthlessness, and she also seems to bring out a softer side in him. We're doin' just fine, B&B...just don't rush this! This could be good. Damn good.

So, Thomas decided, after hearing Douglas wonder aloud if Thomas missed him when they weren't together, that Thomas should regain full custody of Douglas and move him into the Forrester mansion with Eric. This prompted discussion and speculation from everyone in Forrester-Logan World, so I'm not going to spend much time on the varying conflicts and opinions.

Brooke (who is walking again! Yay, KKL!) actually hit on the point that's the most salient for me, and that's the very real chance that Thomas isn't stable enough yet to raise Douglas on his own. Most of the keep-Douglas arguments centered around uprooting Douglas from the home he's known with Hope, Liam, and Beth, but let's face it -- less than two years ago, Thomas was making out with a mannequin.

Okay, sure, Thomas had a cop-out brain malformation that caused his psychotic break. But, where Douglas is concerned, I have not forgotten how Thomas used him to score points with Hope and tormented him so that Douglas would want to move in with Hope. That's abuse, folks, and not so easy to retcon, even with a brain bruise. The thing that really blows is that only we and Thomas know about those things.

If Hope, etc. did, and even Ridge, Taylor, and Steffy, Thomas wanting to take Douglas back would be smacked down faster than a Stephanie Forrester Double Bitch Slap. And don't get me started on how Thomas got the jump on Sheila by three years when he watched Emma die after he essentially ran Emma off the road. Ridge is privy to that, but sure, "I support Thomas."

Never mind the fact that there wouldn't even be a Douglas if Thomas hadn't had non-consensual sex with Ridge's then-wife, Caroline 2.0. None of this stuff ever comes up; the usual suspects just take the usual sides. If Steffy makes one more case for THE FORRESTERS, I'm going to barf. You ain't even a Forrester, honey! And the tragedy that's given you clarity about a Tridge reunion should be giving you compassion for others, as well.

Much was also said about how much progress Thomas has made mentally. Even Brooke conceded that point. Too bad we never saw any of it. All we ever heard was that Thomas got a few therapeutic phone calls from his ethically disqualified mother, and that was the end. If Hope brought that up to a judge, Thomas wouldn't have a chance. And is Thomas looking to nullify Hope's adoption of Douglas? That isn't clear.

I do have to agree that it was inevitable this story arc would come up. But there are already too many talking heads in relation to it, and the matter is too black-and-white. Hope came the closest when she said she wanted to reach a compromise with Thomas. There's no reason they can't find a middle ground here. Of course, if they did, there'd be no drama and no reason for everyone to argue with each other.

All right. I'm going to say this, and I hope everyone in the B&B writing room is listening. I do not need to hear Steffy going on four episodes in a row about how Ridge and Taylor's Monaco kiss means they need to be together. Full stop. Or at least, make it stop. I hate it when Steffy gets written into this parent trap role. Seriously, she took it back on the second she recovered from her shooting and the second she recovered from the shock of Finn being alive.

She just comes off as so obnoxious doing that. Ridge asked if Steffy was too old to be grounded, and I couldn't agree more. Steffy harangued her parents at the office, worked on Taylor back home, and then harangued her parents some more when Ridge showed up there. Now I know why "Steffy" and "STFU" start with the same two letters. I'd have skipped past her scenes, but I'm honor-bound to Scoop for you.

Now, I'm going to STFU about that and move on to the actual movement in this storyline, which was Ridge actually going to Brooke and telling her how he and Taylor had played some Monte Carlo tonsil hockey. "I guess I'm just nave," came Brooke's reaction, which was way funnier than intended, given how not nave Brooke is. Ridge tried to explain that he and Taylor had simply gotten caught up in the moment of reuniting Steffy and Finn.

That is so not what happened! Ridge kissed Taylor because he was all butt-hurt that Brooke had taken a picture with Deacon. Notice how Ridge didn't bother getting into that aspect of it. Brooke pressed Ridge on whether he had feelings for Taylor. "Not like the feelings I have for you," Ridge insisted. And there you go. Time and time again, Ridge chooses Brooke despite the longing looks at Taylor.

I don't know why the show ditched the intriguing potential Deacon/Taylor matchup to have Taylor come in second with Ridge yet again. But in a surprising move, Brooke allowed that Ridge had forgiven her for her own wayward kisses and decided to respond in kind with Ridge. Ridge's feelings for Brooke are stronger, and Brooke forgave him for kissing Taylor. This is so done, I'm out of forks to stick in it.

Of course, that didn't stop Hope from asking Brooke how she really felt about Taylor's ruffling of Ridge (see what I did there?), or Taylor from going to Ridge after she got all riled up by Steffy. And after Ridge announced that Brooke had forgiven him for his buss with Taylor. "I'm done being passive and minding my manners," Taylor proclaimed to Steffy.

But it's not like Taylor sat down and got aggressive with Ridge. Instead, she mused that she was a completely different person than she was when she and Ridge were married. "So am I," Ridge responded. Both statements made me laugh because clearly they were in-jokes and references to the fact that Krista Allen and Thorsten Kaye weren't playing Taylor and Ridge at the time. Nice.

Taylor felt she wasn't wrong by saying that Ridge seemed happier when he was with her. And if I heard it right, Ridge seemed to agree Taylor wasn't? What? He just told Brooke his feelings for her were stronger than his for Taylor, and now this? I hope I heard that wrong. Anyway, Taylor went back into being "passive" by acknowledging that she wanted Ridge to be happy, and "if it's with Brooke, okay."

Again, I think this matter is settled. But the show apparently doesn't want it to be. Ridge borrowed Liam's constipated look when Taylor asked if Brooke's was really where Ridge wanted to be. Please, let's set Taylor free from this never-ending cycle. If not with Deacon, well, Jack is evidently free and clear and could use a little love after Li lowered the boom on him. And Jack is also Taylor's dad's name, so she won't forget it!

At Forrester, Quinn and Carter were so horny for each other, they couldn't concentrate on their work. I keep telling you, this couple is only about sex. I don't see any real love there. Ridge walked in and groused that he couldn't get used to his best friend making out with his ex-stepmother. So, Eric and Quinn are divorced that quickly? And Ridge wasn't grossed out when it was him kissing Quinn.

Quinn made an insensitive comment than she had never known such love before Carter ("Is that a dig at my dad?" Ridge rightly wanted to know), only saved by the bell of Zende, who had just heard about Sheila's untimely death. Why did we drag Zende into this? He's never even had a scene with Sheila. Had to give him some dialogue, I guess. For Ridge's part, he sure loves to show that pic of Sheila's severed toe around. Eww.

As Steffy canoodled with Finn, who was supposedly healed enough to return to doctoring but was already playing hooky by surfing (to say nothing of sporting six-pack abs he wouldn't have been able to maintain from being bedridden for months, and not sporting a scar from his fairly recent shooting), Deacon was waking up with a mystery woman he had picked up at Il Giardino.

Looks like I was right in my last column that Deacon had junked A.A., because the night before this morning after, he was quaffing vodka like there was no tomorrow. He told the hunky bartender that he was simply letting loose after being on the straight and narrow 99% of the time, but an alcoholic off the wagon is still an alcoholic off the wagon.

And what does this say about his attempts to be a real father to Hope when he's throwing away his sobriety so easily? Not to mention, as our scruffy barkeep reminded Deacon, Deacon's parole officer would be coming by the following day. So, Deacon picks that night to tie one on? And have sex with a strange woman who knocked on his door?

There seemed to be a conflict between my closed captioning and the dialogue. CC listed the woman as "Debra," but Deacon said that "Debra" had not told him her name when she came a-calling. In fact, "Debra" hadn't said a single word. So, now Deacon is into anonymous hookups. His biz, but bedding down with strangers these days is not such a good idea when hot monkey love can lead to monkeypox!

Once the sun was up, so was Deacon, and he wanted to have a second go-round with his mystery lady. In the light of day, he made his way down the woman's leg, only to discover that one of her feet had only four toes. And Deacon remembered how Brooke had told him that all that was left of Sheila was a toe. Which was fine until Deacon "remembered" Lt. Sanchez showing off the digit. Deacon wasn't there for that!

Wouldn't you know, Deacon's femme fatale reached up...and pulled off her face! And it was SHEILA underneath! Which I wish I could say was a shocker, but we all knew Sheila wasn't dead, and plus, Kimberlin Brown herself posted about her transformation before that episode even aired. And there's another issue with this DAYS-style twist -- it's too damn soon!

I mean, it was literally last week, in real time, that Sheila was declared dead. That means a day or two in soap time. Sheila's resurgence would have worked so much better if we had waited a couple of months, and then have Lady Redhead show up and spend a good handful of episodes before revealing herself. The show didn't give us any time to convince us Sheila was dead.

I have another problem with this, and not just that Sheila's mask had zero makeup on it when "Debra" or whoever clearly had it caked on. No lipstick, nothing! No, the problem is Sheila's perfectly healed, albeit amputated, toe. Again, recall that it had only been a couple of soap days since Sheila staged her death by bear mauling. There is no way in hell that toe wouldn't still be a bloody stub!

Even if Sheila had gotten the finest of medical care, which she didn't, that stub would still have to be heavily bandaged. Yes, yes, it's a soap. But come on. Sheila sawed off her own toe somehow and wasn't even limping around just days later. Had Deacon bumped it during his boot-knocking with Sheila, she would have yelped in pain. Had the show waited, as I said, we could have avoided this.

Sheila, literally cradling Deacon in her tender bosom, told him that she had gone so far undercover so she could come back and see him. Yeah, somehow, I don't think so. And let's talk about how Sheila could even have pulled this off. Bad enough Sanchez already said they'd found Sheila's driver's license at the bear maul site; when she'd escaped from jail, her ID would have been under lock and key.

So would, I would presume, any of her credit or debit cards. Beyond wondering how Sheila even had money in the first place to come back last year (surely her 1995 settlement from Eric ran out eons ago, between hiring henchmen in South America and getting plastic surgery and back from her time as "Phyllis" on The Young and the Restless), how would she even have gotten to it? It's not like a fugitive could walk into a bank with no ID.

And the ruse was elaborate enough that Sheila didn't buy it at the dollar store. So, this is a major stretch, and even more so than the way Sheila's mask stretched. Thankfully, Deacon was grossed out by the whole thing. First, by realizing he'd had sex with Sheila, then, by realizing his bedmate had actually chopped off her own toe to provide bloody DNA like she had chopped a carrot.

Deacon scoffed when Sheila said she wasn't crazy anymore! Me, too! She has been nothing but crazy since her first major return in 2002. Watch any scene from the '90s and you'll see that Sheila was much more layered; for the most part, she was genuinely trying to be good but couldn't help regressing into pathological deeds when she felt she had to protect herself.

Deacon had told Brooke and Hope, regarding Sheila's "death," that "if I feel sad, it's because she never became that better person she wanted to be." And I feel the exact same way. Sheila might have declared change and/or talked about changing, but she's been bats**t the whole time she's been back. And that's what's made it far less enjoyable for me to watch my favorite soap character of all time.

The next question is, where can this go? Sheila's still a fugitive, and the first thing she did was go to one of the few places the police had already come to in their attempt to find her. What is she going to do, run around in disguise and reinsinuate herself into Finn's life? And where does this leave Deacon? He's right that he's going to go back to jail the minute the cops find out he's had any part in harboring Sheila.

Case in point: the aforementioned parole officer showed up on Deacon's door, with Sheila standing there begging not to be exposed. Fine, except we had this same cliffhanger just a few weeks ago, with Deputy Chief Baker on the same door. So, Deacon's going to hide Sheila again? Will he end up losing his freedom for her? Will he at least remember to stash Sheila's mask before letting the convict checker in?

How did this very strange week strike you, Scoopers? Was it too soon for Sheila to come back, mask or no mask? (Admittedly, it was a better get-up than her "Jennifer" disguise on Y&R in 2005.) Should Ridge's bouncing between Brooke and Taylor end once and for all? Who has the strongest case for keeping custody of Douglas -- Hope or Thomas? And would Bill and Li make a good couple? Let's get to it! Strike your own opinion pose in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could end up in a future column! Like these!

"Deacon can't be with Brooke at BROOKE's & Ridge's home, but Ridge can bring Taylor?!?!? Seriously?!?!? Now they say Thomas is going to want Douglas back?!? Lets have a custody battle & all of Thomas's & his family's 'deeds' come out in court. And Taylor shooting Bill can be acknowledged." -- Robin

"I was on bedrest for four months after breaking my back in a car accident. I had to learn to walk again through a lot of physical therapy, and I had to use 2 canes for the first few months, then 1 cane for quite a long while. You don't just get up, take a plane, and traipse around Monaco on your first day out of bed!" -- Jane

So true, Jane! Speaking of traipsing around Europe, I am going to be doing exactly that myself as of next week, and so, will not be able to Scoop for you again until the weekend of October 1. It's going to be super BOLD -- I'm bringing my mother's ashes home to her native country of the Netherlands, I'm reuniting with a mega BFF I haven't seen in 20 years, and I'm literally meeting long-lost cousins I didn't know I had! It's gonna be soapy beyond soapy, y'all!

But I can't depart until I acknowledge the news that rang around the soap world this week: Rena Sofer is making her last appearance as Quinn on August 29. But I got ya -- stay tuned for a special column I'm writing as a tribute: The Top 10 Quinn-tessential Moments of Quinn Fuller! Don't say I never give you anything.

I wonder how this bodes for Quarter when they just finally got together? Will Lawrence Saint-Victor end up taking time off for a while so Carter can accompany Quinn? Will Quinn just up and split, proving what I've been saying about Quarter having only sex between them? And does it mean Carter will go back to being his lovelorn self? How is this going to affect Wyatt?

I'll see you all soon after a plot-twist-filled location shoot of my own, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And, no matter where you are in the world, democracy, freedom, and protecting yourselves and others from viruses are always beautiful.

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