Facial edemas and beautiful disasters

Jason is home except no one knows, Sonny and Carly succumbed to passion -- again -- and Ava revealed that Sonny shot A.J. Morgan and Kiki kept secrets, Julian and Alexis gave love a second chance, and Patrick and Sam took a road trip. Hold onto your seats; it was a bumpy ride through Port Charles this week.

First, I want to thank Dan Kroll for inviting me to be part of his 250th episode of Soap Central Live. It was an honor and a blast to be part of such an important milestone.

It was also a great week to talk about GH because it was action packed. I'm eager to dive right in to talk about it all, but first I would like to say that Dante and Lulu totally melted my heart in what I thought was the sweetest and most tender scene of the week.

I'm referring to both parents realizing that they've been separated from their young son for way too much of his early life and deciding to put family first by staying home instead of going on an adventure to figure out what the heck is going on with Rocco's grandpa, Luke. I absolutely applauded Dante and Lulu's decision because it was a darn fine example of responsible parenting.

I don't expect soap opera parents to always act that way because things would get boring quickly, but all the same, it's nice to occasionally see parents have their priorities straight.

The couple who is far from having their priorities in order is Sonny and Carly. Right now, they are a great, big, steaming hot mess of cheating, lying, and blood-thirty murder thrown in for good measure. I honestly don't know where to begin with these two because, at the moment, both are poster people for dysfunction. Every decision they make -- and I do mean every single one -- is worse than the last.

After having sex with Sonny, Carly is filled with regret but still runs around town kissing Sonny every chance she gets. Her voice says no, but her lips say yes. In the middle of all this nonsense, she decides that it's a great idea to accept Franco's marriage proposal. Franco, the man who once wreaked havoc on the town -- and in particular her loved ones -- because a brain tumor had made him a homicidal maniac.

I'll give Franco a pass on that one, but he is still the son of crazy as a loon, BLT-obsessed Heather Webber. He's also been very suspicious of Sonny and Carly ever since he learned about their steamy kiss in front of the hospital.

It's like Carly stumbled across a stick in the woods then decided, "Hey, I'm going to go over there and poke that really big hornets' nest." If she doesn't see that Franco is a great big ticking time bomb then she's blind on top of being stupid.

But wait, there's more. Sonny and Carly made what is arguably the stupidest decision of their lives -- and there have been plenty of those -- by deciding that it would be best to cover up Kobe's death rather than report it to Anna. Their excuse? No one would believe that it was self-defense even though there was an eyewitness to prove that it was.

Isn't that exactly what landed Michael in jail the last time? Everyone covered up a death that would have been ruled justified if they had just told the truth in the beginning.

I refuse to believe that Anna would have done anything except exonerate Michael of killing Kobe, especially with Rosalie backing up the story. Scott would have refused to press charges, too, because he's got the added incentive of currently dating Michael's grandmother, Bobbie.

All Sonny and Carly do is lie, lie, and lie these days, especially to Michael.

I do understand why Sonny and Carly's knee-jerk reaction was to lie about A.J., but it's long past time to tell Michael the truth. Too many people know including Carly's volatile boyfriend whom she's currently betraying.

A secret is only a secret if just one person knows. In this case, practically the whole town is privy to it. The list grows longer by the minute, which means that it's only a matter of time before it reaches Michael's ears. If he hears the truth from anyone other than his parents, then Morgan is right -- Sonny and Carly's fates will be sealed, and Michael will make a clean break with them. Sure, Michael will be mad if Sonny tells him what happened that fateful night, but at least there will be a slim chance that Michael will be able to forgive Sonny because Sonny trusted Michael with the truth.

In a way, I hope that Sonny keeps his trap shut because it means that the trust between Sonny and Michael will forever be broken. It's the price that Sonny needs to pay for killing A.J., since it's unlikely that Sonny will ever go to jail for the crime. After all, Sonny is a lead character, so unless he is being written off the show or the writers have a redemption storyline up their sleeve, Sonny won't end up behind bars.

Michael will ultimately forgive Carly because even he knows she is protective of Sonny to a fault and always will be. However, by that time, my hope is that Michael will have fully embraced his Quartermaine side, especially now that Jason is back and a complete wildcard after surviving a lethal shooting, a near-drowning, deep-freezing, defrosting, tumbling out of a speeding car, falling down a steep embankment, and finally being hit and then run over by an SUV.

But more on that later.

Lately, it's been incredibly difficult to like Sonny because he's just so smug and smarmy about everything. Case in point, his visit to Julian's apartment.

Admittedly, it was amusing to watch him bust Alexis as she tip-toed around, looking for her cell phone, and I really couldn't blame him for firing her once he realized that she's back to sleeping with the enemy. However, it really burns my bacon that Sonny continues to sneeringly accuse Julian of hiding behind Danny.

Isn't that exactly what Sonny is doing by claiming that it would destroy Michael if Michael were to learn that Sonny murdered A.J.? At least in Julian's case, it's a matter of life or death for both Julian and Danny. In Sonny's case, it's about avoiding the wrath of a son.

I've also lost a lot of respect for Shawn these days because I never expected him to be almost giddy with anticipation at the thought of capturing Ava to execute her after the baby is born. Yes, Ava killed Connie in cold blood, but Sonny killed A.J. in cold blood. Sadly, that's the nature of the beast in the mob world. However, that child is innocent. Ava might be bad, but so is Sonny. Why does Sonny have more of a right to live and be a parent to the child than Ava?

The only person who truly does appear to be trying to stop the cycle of violence is Julian. He is the only reluctant criminal in the entire nest of vipers. That's why I like him, and that's why I can easily root for Julian and Alexis. I just hope that all of Julian's careful truths -- like assuring Alexis he doesn't work for Luke Spencer -- don't blow up in his face because we know Alexis is going to rightfully see them as carefully worded lies.

My hope is that Alexis will understand that it was a necessary evil once the truth about Fluke is fully exposed. That can't come soon enough because I'm sick of the Fluke storyline and more than ready for the real Luke Spencer to be rescued.

I swear, I never thought that I would say that, but it's true. I want the real Luke back.

Now, on to to Jason "The Immortal Enforcer" Morgan.

I half-expected there to be a glimmer of cyborg red twinkling in his eyes when he opened them on Friday. The man truly is a miracle of nature.

Welcome, Billy Miller.

I will confess that I laughed at first when we were told that Jason had facial edema. Not because it was unbelievable but rather because that scene of Ava driving over Jason left no doubt in my mind that Jason had far bigger concerns than facial edema, which, by the way, is just medical jargon for his face was badly swollen. Hence, he was unrecognizable to everyone including Elizabeth.

My laughter quickly faded as I became riveted during the scenes in the trauma bay when the doctor and an unsuspecting Elizabeth desperately worked to save Jason's life. I got caught up in the scenes because every so often I would notice this expression cross Elizabeth's face as she looked into Jason's eyes -- the same expression that Sam would later have when she first saw Jason in the ICU.

I imagine that a part of Elizabeth recognized her son's eyes -- just as Sam had.I understand the emotional investment that Elizabeth has with her new mystery patient because it's clear to me that on a deep subconscious level, she recognizes that it's Jason just like Sam does, and so does newly SORAS'd Danny, who only spent a nanosecond with his dad before Jason was lured to his "death."

It might be a little predictable, but I don't care. Sometimes sappy works, and this is a perfect example of when it does. I don't watch soaps for reality; I watch them for the action, the extraordinary circumstances that people find themselves in, and most importantly for the romance and tender moments.

I love that those who had the strongest connection to Jason are the ones that Billy Miller gets to share his first scenes with, even if it's only by opening his eyes.

Sure Sonny, Carly, and Michael are missing, but that's okay. They will get their moment with him soon enough.

I'm not going to lie, I got a little teary-eyed when Monica entered that ICU room and started talking to Elizabeth about A.J. It almost seemed as if Jason were listening. More than anything, I want Jason to know that A.J. had changed and had been a better man. How fascinating would it be to see Michael and Jason pitted against Sonny and Carly when the truth about A.J.'s murder is revealed? Would Carly continue to stand by Sonny's side under those circumstances?

Now, the question remains, will Jason have his memory or not? His vitals spiked when he heard Sam was talking, indicating that he recognized his wife's voice, but it's been Elizabeth who has been at his side day and night since he has arrived at the hospital, and they, too, have a strong connection thanks to a long and complicated history filled with emotion and a dead son.

We were also told on Friday's episode in no uncertain terms that Nikolas and Elizabeth are no more. Was that to free her up for Jason? Elizabeth did make that cryptic remark about how she and Jason never really had their chance.

As a long-time Liason fan, it's hard for me to get my hopes up that the pendulum might finally swing Liz and Jason's way because each time I do, I invariably end up disappointed.

Plus, there is Ric waiting in the wings to return as soon as Fluke is exposed.

I suspect that Ron is merely toying with us Liason fans because unless Jason's mind is completely scrambled from everything that he's been through, Jason loves Sam. They are married and have a child together, so it appears that the dragon and the phoenix are fated to be reunited -- probably in time to take Danny trick-or-treating. Hey, perhaps Jason can go as the Mummy.

Speaking of mummy dearest, Ava has spilled the beans about Sonny shooting A.J. to Morgan and Kiki. Once again, Morgan and Kiki have decided not to share a secret with Michael because Michael is way too fragile to take the news. Kiki at least shows some remorse over keeping this latest secret from Michael, not so much because she knows it has the potential to destroy her relationship with Michael if she doesn't tell, but rather because she thinks that Michael simply has a right to know the truth about his father's murder and his parents' role in it.

Finally, Kiki is making sense, and I suddenly find myself liking her. Okay, mainly it's because I'd rather see Michael stay with Kiki than end up in Rosalie's clutches.

Probably the funniest moment of the week was when Maxie turned to Morgan for relationship advice. Her reasoning? Everyone knows that Morgan has a big heart. I'm pretty sure everyone also knows that Morgan is infamous for making the worst possible choices in any given situation, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Maxie would have been better off tracking down Olivia to ask if she's had any visions lately.

I was rather surprised that Ava confessed to Morgan and Kiki that she had witnessed A.J.'s shooting and that she had persuaded Carlos to take the fall for the murder, but then I realized that Ava didn't really have any choice because she had to explain why Sonny is out to kill her. I have to give Ava credit though; she is a master at telling half-truths because the clever minx managed to leave out that pesky detail of her murdering Connie during her little "confession."

As much as I dislike Rosalie, she had me laughing when she and Michael were confronted by Kobe. Rosalie sucks in a crisis, but truth be told, I probably would have done exactly as she did by trying to flee at the first opportunity. She doesn't know Michael or Shawn well enough to put her life on the line for them, so I can't blame her for running.

In a strange twist, Nina has suddenly become the voice of reason -- at times -- when dealing with Franco. I find crazy-Nina hilarious, but I really liked sane-Nina too, especially with Franco. There is something touching about these two very damaged people trying to help each other and keep each other from self-destructing when neither really has a clue what it means to be normal.

Truthfully, I don't think that Nina was ever really "normal" to start with because I can't see the coma making her this diabolical. I think those feelings were already there, just latent and waiting for an opportunity to jump out and flourish.

There have been hints along the way that something was off with Nina even before the coma because she was on antidepressants and seeing a therapist. Plus, her marriage was rocky --- or else Silas wouldn't have cheated on her with Ava. However, the most telling clue was Nina's reaction to finding out through irrefutable evidence in the form of graphic pictures that her husband was unfaithful. Nina didn't pack up and leave. Instead, she decided within minutes that her baby would change everything and save her marriage.

My husband would have come home to a pile of burning clothes on the front lawn and divorce papers stapled to the front door.

I am a bit surprised, though, that Nina hasn't taken the time to check on Nathan, a.k.a. James, or even shown any real concern for his welfare throughout the kidnapping/hostage ordeal. If nothing else, she knew that Nathan had feelings for Maxie.

I am thrilled that the show ended on Friday with Maxie coming to her senses by meeting Nathan at the restaurant. I appreciate that Maxie has reservations about jumping into a relationship with him, but there isn't any reason that Maxie and Nathan can't take things nice and slow until Maxie gets her bearings. Nathan has proven time and again to be a trustworthy person who truly has Maxie's best interests at heart -- and he's incredibly patient and understanding. He couldn't be more perfect for Maxie.

So, what came first -- the chicken or the egg? Or in this case, the set for the new brownstone or the Scorpios' old house, which was actually originally owned by Lesley Webber. Astute viewers have noticed the similarities between the newly renovated brownstone and Mac's old home. I don't know if it's the same set or not, but I hope it is.

Just one more reason to love GH; it's an eco friendly soap.

A few random thoughts

The upholstery cleaning business must be booming in Port Charles at the rate that the good citizens of PC like to get their groove on in the living room, especially the sofa. This week it was Sonny and Carly's turn to do the nasty on Michael's sofa after they sent him off to Sonny's island to hide out from assassins.

Patrick and Sam were on one rockin' airline. Did anyone notice the size of those crystal tumblers they were drinking from? Whenever I fly, I get a cheap plastic cup that barely holds an ice chip and thimble of liquid. Patrick and Sam practically needed two hands to lift their drinks.

How have Julian and Ava not been evicted from the apartment they live in what with constant shootouts and blood splatter in the hallways? I'd hate to be their neighbor.

Things that tickled my fancy

Sonny's reaction to learning Carly and Franco's wedding dateCarly: "Next month."Sonny: "Next month? Halloween?!"Carly: "How'd you know?"Sonny: "I was joking."Carly: "Okay, I'm not joking, all right? Franco and I are getting married on October 31st."Sonny: "Well, you know, I'm not surprised, because, you know, Franco doesn't do anything that isn't morbid, anyway."

Kiki learns that Maxie stopped by to talk to MorganKiki: "Maxie was here? Please tell me she didn't find my mom."Morgan: "No, no, I don't think she would have scarfed the food down if she knew it was for a pregnant woman. She thought it was for you."Kiki: "All right, well, then what was she doing here? Was she protesting the wainscoting and the light fixtures?"Morgan: "No, actually, she was here to apologize for doing that to us."Kiki: "Surprising and extremely random."Morgan: "Yeah, well, it gets better. After she was done apologizing, I somehow ended up giving Maxie relationship advice."

Sonny rolls out his double standards when he catches Alexis in Julian's apartmentAlexis: "Let's see. If I were a phone, where -- there it is."Sonny: "What are you looking for?"Alexis: [Gasps]Sonny: "If it's your dignity, you lost it when you crawled back into bed with Julian. Hope it was worth it, because now it's time to pay."

Franco balks at not having access to his phone for a few hoursFranco: "I can't just leave my phone here -- someone will take it."Nina: "What are you talking about? It's just a phone. Leave it at the nurses' station. It's not a big deal. Seriously, what's wrong with people? They can't be without their electronic devices."Franco: [whispers to cell phone] "She doesn't mean that, don't listen to her."

A minute with Nina's special brand of crazy with a special appearance from FrancoNina: "Yeah, I-I don't get it. So, your phone is going to help you keep tabs on Carly?"Franco: "Okay. So, you see this app right here?"Nina: "Oh."Franco: "If I --"Nina: "App! Yeah. App. Mm-hmm. Before I went into my coma, I used to refer to hors d'oeuvres as an app -- short for 'appetizer'."Franco: "Right."Nina: "Yeah. And it used to drive my mom crazy that I did that. She thought it was crass."Franco: "Well..."Nina: [Chuckles]Franco: "Uh, never give up a chance to stick it to a crazy mother -- that's what I say."Nina: "Oh, my God, I never gave up. It was my life's greatest pleasure. Okay, so, now this app right here."

Until next time, dear readers, take care. Liz Masters

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