Dr. Feelgood: Numbing the pain

Patrick Drake is popping pills and getting high to get through his grief. He's also seeing dead people. Losing one's wife and watching one's brother go to jail for killing one's mistress is enough to send anyone reaching for a handful of drugs. Who will help Patrick battle his demons? It seems Lulu is leading the crusade to get Patrick clean, but Maxie, Mac, Liz, and Epiphany are all Team Patrick -- and so is Two Scoops' Jennifer Biller. Grab some pompoms and get ready for this week's column.

Well, I didn't see that coming. Patrick kissed Lulu at the Haunted Star party. Sure, he was higher than Maxie's Christian Louboutin shoes and thought Lulu was Robin, but still. He kissed Lulu.

Raise your hand if you are as surprised as I am that Lulu is helping lead the charge to get Patrick clean. Raise your hand if you are as surprised as I am that Lulu is involved in this story arc at all. I thought for sure if Patrick accidentally kissed anyone, it would be Maxie, considering they now live together.

Bravo to the writers for boldly bringing Lulu into this tale. Let's face it, the sad truth is that poor Lulu had no one at that party to celebrate her success, and after all her hard work, the gal deserved a little action. I kid. (I know the kiss was harmless.)

Seriously though, I'm enjoying the Lulu twist. It's interesting, considering that Lulu and Patrick have never been particularly close, and it was only months ago that Maxie was calling Lulu, herself, an alcoholic and intervening. I love that Lulu and Maxie teamed up recently to confront Patrick. I also hope Epiphany, Elizabeth, Anna, and Mac all play a role in helping Patrick. It takes a village to help get someone sober, and Patrick certainly needs his friends and family

Last year, I thought that Lulu was going to be the character with the second-generation addiction storyline, but Patrick is the better choice. Bravo, team GH! Here's what I love about this tale. I didn't see it coming, and it makes sense with Patrick's history. Patrick has always been a control freak, so the thought that he'd take drugs that make him not in control never occurred to me. And kudos to GH for remembering that Patrick's father battled his alcohol demons for years.

Poor Patrick, I feel for him. His wife is dead. He couldn't save her. He watched her die, and he is living with the guilt that his adultery ultimately led to her death. Did I mention his brother is in jail for killing Patrick's mistress? Oh and then on top of it all, he's raising a preschooler. Yes, to say he's had a rough year is an understatement. So I get why he's looking for any way to get through the day. Frankly, if I had to live with annoying Maxie, I'd probably be reaching for a little something to take the edge off, too.

Again, I kid.

Jason Thompson is so good at making me believe that he needs those pills. He's spacy looking, hyper, and agitated. They say that doctors make the worst patients and, apparently, the worst drug addicts. Because stealth is something Patrick hasn't mastered. He was popping pills at the party in front of a room full of people and even a television camera. And let's not forget that it took orderly Ramone about ten seconds to realize that nervous, sweaty, agitated Dr. Drake is the one stealing amphetamines from General Hospital. If Patrick is going to continue his ride, he's going to have to get better at hiding his addiction.

I hope that doesn't happen. Meanwhile, until he gets those shaky hands and sweaty palms under control, let's just hope that no one in town needs brain surgery.

Since we haven't talked since the Emmys, I want to take time to congratulate all the winners and nominees. Way to go, GH! I also want to give a giant pat on the back to the folks responsible for this year's telecast on HLN. It was slick from start to finish, without any nonsense. It was respectful to daytime and those who work in and watch the genre. HLN even took time to do a red carpet show and air vintage clips from our soaps. (I haven't seen that clip of Bo kidnapping Hope from her wedding in decades!) It was clear from the preshow that this telecast was trying to correct all the errors of past shows. And it did.

I loved that the Emmy honchos shook things up by awarding the lead actor trophy at the beginning of the telecast, instead of waiting until the end. And winner Anthony Geary did not disappoint with his speech. Geary quipped that it was a good start for General Hospital to get 23 Emmy nominations, considering that last year "we were almost canceled in favor of a sure-fire ratings-bonanza: Celebrity Boob Jobs Gone Wrong." Priceless! Well done, Emmy folks, and bravo, GH!

Who enjoyed the Haunted Star opening? I love a good party when the whole town attends. But wait, the whole town didn't attend. I still love a good party, but I wish Liz and Tracy would have shown up to support Lulu. And can you imagine the sparks if Sonny and Kate were there to witness Johnny and Carly's love fest? And what about Mac and Felicia? They could use a date night, I'm sure. I know budgets are tight these days on soaps, but this was a missed opportunity to let our favorite characters socialize. At least there were plenty of extras there to try to convince me that Johnny and Lulu really did open a club.

Starr looked gorgeous, and I enjoyed her song. But a part of me was thinking, "Where is Eddie Maine these days?" Yes, I miss the trifecta of leather pants, dimples, and charisma crooning rock and roll. Sue me.

I'm still not on board with Starr's romance with Michael. I'm trying, Scoopers, I really am. But I'm not feeling it. I was hoping Michael would be single to mingle for the summer. He just got over his last lady, and he's already dating Starr. Sigh. I just want more than one other person Michael's age, who isn't related to him, to live in Port Charles so that maybe he could get his flirt on. Is that too much to ask?

I can forgive Luke for not showing up to the party. He was a little tied up. Literally. Let's all pray that Anna rescues him from that burning cabin Monday. Whoever thought it was a good idea to isolate the talented Anthony Geary for more than a week needs to have their head examined. As fun as Heather is, Luke's kidnapping has proved an annoyance to me because it interrupted the storyline that I really wanted to watch: his triangle with Anna and Tracy.

There is no question that Olivia is one of Port Charles's most beautiful women, but man is she daft. My jaw actually dropped when she ratted out Heather to Dante while Heather was in the room. Olivia needs to team up with Patrick for some stealth training. Olivia's foolishness is about to get her an overdose of LSD. At least she's got her looks.

I'm sure many of you were mad at Dante for standing up Lulu. I was, too, but I can't blame the guy. He is helping catch a homicidal maniac. Plus, that party was so dull, I don't think he really missed anything, do you?

Steven Lars is a tool. Who knew? I'm not a big fan of Olivia's character anymore, but the way he treated her this week was cold. She stood beside him through the whole Memphis/Maggie mess, and all she got in return was the brush-off. I hope Olivia gives him the same cold shoulder when he realizes that his mother is still a psychopath and comes begging for 'Liv's forgiveness.

Anna has given the PCPD back its brains. It's too bad that Mac couldn't have been written that way. If Anna keeps this up, she'll have Sonny in jail by the end of the year.

And speaking of catching criminals, do you think Kate/Connie is going to bust Johnny? She showed up Friday, telling him she remembers that he shot out those tires. Frankly, I hope it comes out soon. I hate "fake" Johnny spinning all these lies. It's such strange behavior for his character.

On a shallow note, Dante is working the scruff. He's never looked better.

What do you guys think of the new opening? Frankly, I miss the old GH music, but I like the new slick graphics. Although it seems way too fast, and I'm not sure why Shawn is in the same shot as Dante, Lulu, and Liz. I give it a 6 out of 10. You?

For those of you here on the East Coast in the eleven states that suffered storm damages a few weeks ago, I hope everyone is getting back to normal and pray that those who aren't will get some relief soon. There are still folks in my state without power and water and air conditioning, in blistering three-digit temperatures. I'd never before heard of a derecho -- a widespread, vicious thunderstorm and windstorm with hurricane-speed winds -- until it swept through our area, destroying power lines, trees, boats, houses, etc. The next time GH is looking for a natural disaster storyline, I suggest this strange weather phenomenon. It was so odd and fast that it seemed like it could only exist in a soap town.

Finally, this week's movie theater tragedy is beyond comprehension. Senseless violence like that isn't supposed to happen in our beloved America. I'm stunned and speechless. My prayers are with the families of all those involved.

(Sonny and Kristina fight about her reality show Mob Princess.)Kristina: "I believe in Mob Princess. Who knows, maybe I'll become the next Kim Kardashian."Sonny: "That's all you want? Posing for pictures so people can look at your huge (pauses) mistakes?"

(Anna interrogates crazy Heather about Anthony's dead body, and Heather retorts by needling Anna about Luke's disappearance.) Heather: "He ran out on you. And well, you're still crazy about him. I know, I hate that word, but sometimes it's the only one that applies."

(Todd and Carly discuss their children.)Todd: "I never hear from Jack? He hates me. He gets that from his mom."

(Todd calls Carly, freaking out that Carly's employee, Olivia, let Blair check in the same hotel that he's staying at.)Todd: "I have a question. When people apply to work for you, do they check a box that lets you know that they're an idiot, because it seems like everybody that works for you is an imbecile?"

(Todd tries to sever ties with blackmailer Heather.) Todd: "It has been so nice knowing you, and by nice, I mean a living hell."

Scoopers, you are such a smart, savvy group. Thanks so much for all the feedback, theories, comments, and jokes. You make me smile. Please keep those e-mails coming.

• I am totally with Mandy, who suggested that Kate's drawer-baby might be Spinelli. We know nothing of his family, but he's been a great character whom we've grown to like. It would also be hilarious to see Sonny, who has always been rudely dismissive of Spinelli's skills, have to treat his girlfriend's son with respect. The Trey angle could be a red herring (even if that was not what the writers originally envisioned.) - Sohara

• During the last months of One Life to Live, we didn't have a baby switch, but a DNA switch involving John McBain. He did not get to find out he was the dad of Liam until November, and the show was ending in January, so we did not have much time with him, Natalie and Liam together. I have hated that I have had to see him be way more involved in a baby storyline and a baby delivery with Sam (and indirectly Jason) than I got to see him with his own child/family. I want his scenes with Sam to end unless they're only going to be platonic. I will forever fast forward any scenes involving only Sam and John, if they're not platonic. So thanks to Ron Carlivati and company for making me not like John McBain on General Hospital. -- Jill

• In medical terms, GH is day to day and could flat line at any moment. GH "Fans" please do not over react because of one storyline or a recasting. Keep watching. Look at all the positive energy that OLTL has injected into the show, Starr being the exception. Todd Manning is golden! The Kate/Connie storyline is priceless. The acting would make Meryl Streep proud. Embrace the good and deal with the bad. Don't tune out because of one storyline. Even back in the Luke and Laura days there was a clunker or two. Enjoy this moment before we are force fed another show on how to cook a hamburger or what to wear on the beach! -- Timothy

• Ok - so I know a lot of people are perplexed with the baby switch, the killings, whacky Heather and what not, but folks, we got to see Michael, Steve, Todd and Trey all without their shirts this week. Now that's love in the afternoon! -- Patty P

• Have you ever wondered where Heather gets the muscles to drag all those men (live or dead) around? She must have been doing Pilates while at Ferncliff. -- Judith Kean

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.