What if...

Where would the show, and the storylines, be if Days of our Lives had a head writer with a little imagination?

Well folks; Sweeps Month has started off with the whimper that I had been expecting. So far; Sooooo Boring. I know it's just the beginning of the Sweeps period but I expected a little excitement. Just a little. What was I thinking? For those of you who don't know; "Sweeps" are the times of year when show creators do their best to pump up their ratings in an effort to demonstrate to their sponsors/advertisers why they are paying so much damn money to air their commercials during said shows. I'm not sure how TPTB at Days plan to achieve the desired result but it's not looking too promising so far. One would think that the recent slap in the face at the Daytime Emmy awards would have shown The Powers That Be over at Days of our Lives that a serious re-tooling (and new Head Writer) is desperately needed. You know...it wasn't so long ago that Days led the pack at the Emmy awards. Okay...maybe it was so long ago. But I remember those days (pun intended) and I despair of them ever returning. As I morosely sat through this extra-specially boring week...a thought kept running through my mind. Where could the show - and storylines - be if Days of our Lives had a head writer with a little imagination?

As predicted...Chelsea did not come clean with Bo...I guess one epiphany doesn't get you very far these days. Maybe Chelsea needs to experience a few more life-or-death dramas to smarten her up?? I've had a hard time following the character this week. One minute she wants to tell Bo the 'truth', the next minute she decides against it - in order to protect her own interests - then the next minute she feels guilty and proceeds to race all over town looking for Billie and Bo in order to spill the beans. [How was she getting around town anyhow? Is she driving again? Cabs? I don't get it]. Next thing we see; Chelsea has followed Billie and Bo to some wilderness area and catches them kissing. She then freaks out that her parents are having sex and it's all her fault. Next thing we see...she is at Java caf sipping out of a flask? I kept thinking that I was missing scenes because it jumped around so much. You know...I gotta admit - as much as I loved Zack - I'm so freakin tired of hearing about the "court case". It's been like what? 5 months! I wish the darn thing would just come to trial all ready. I'm so freaking done with this storyline. The only things we've seen Chelsea do is lie and manipulate people, and all for the sake of this accursed court case. Days had a potential gold mine of stories with the death of Zack Brady but now they've gone and thrown it all away with the torturous dragging out of the nonexistent court-case drama. If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; Chelsea would have seen the inside of the courtroom by now and had a conviction handed down. Something like; guilty for negligent driving with a suspended sentence and a whack of community service. Not the ideal scenario BUT it would make for some drama that we could get our teeth in to. Gone would be the repetitive dialogue and tired scenes. In its place would be a distraught Hope and a protective Billie battling it out over Chelsea's sentence with a truly caught-in-the-middle Bo. We could even see a variety of funny scenarios as Chelsea does her community service. I would much prefer that over seeing Bo/Hope divorce over email (ranking as one of the stupidest storylines ever; right behind the 'Marlena is a serial killer but not because everyone is alive on some secret island') and watching Chelsea play the master puppeteer to everyone's lives. I would also prefer to see a truer picture of Chelsea's character. Something more akin to an 18 year-old's behavior than the devil-spawn actions we have seen of late.

I hate the fact that Bo and Hope have broken up AND that each of them kept talking about "moving on" (oh fer sure...it's so believable that two people who have spent 20 years together and have shared a lifetime of experiences would break up over email and "move on" within a few days. Uh-huh). It's so feels too contrived. I thought I was going to puke during the scenes of Patrick telling Hope that he can't control himself when he's alone with her. Her answer? "So don't". Nice. We were then treated to some overly long scenes of them making love. Not once, but twice mind you. It didn't ring true to me in the least; in real life it takes time to heal from a broken relationship - especially one that has spanned 20 years - and be able to move on with another man! The other thing that really bothers me about Patrick and Hope is the 'ick' factor for Shawn and Mimi. Could you imagine them discussing that Mimi's brother is dating Shawn's mother? ICK. Tell me that wouldn't put the tarnish on a new relationship. Anyway...if Hope and Patrick bothered me...then the scenes between Bo and Billie drove me insane. I was so freaking infuriated when Bo - out of the blue - confided that he's always cared for Billie but because he was with Hope; he couldn't act on it (WHATEVER). Now, however...he has decided that he needs to face the fact that he and Hope are over (SCREAMS of frustration) and that there is still "something" between he and Billie (yeah, it's called fungus). Bo's speech to Billie was just despicable. It confirmed my feelings that he has not been truly fighting for Hope because part of him wants Billie back and always has. He is not seeing how all this is HIS FAULT and that Hope was right about how he always chooses Billie over her. His actions are just infuriating. I don't really have much to say that is positive so I will stick to the ONE silver lining in this dark cloud...the flashbacks. I love all the old Bo/Hope flashbacks we are seeing - some of those clips are vintage oldies that haven't been seen in a loooong time. They were appreciated to be sure; but they really only served to remind us how irritated we are that this wonderful couple has been split asunder. If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; well it goes without saying...they would have dreamed up a new and exciting storyline for Bo and Hope that did not involve them splitting up over nothing and sleeping with other people.

Question...did Sami/Austin or Carrie/Lucas use birth control when they did the deed last week? We were shown scenes of these four in bed (separately of course) but no mention was made of protection or anything. I guess that makes a sick sort of sense for Carrie/Lucas being that they are engaged (gag me) but what about Sami/Austin? Would Austin be so stupid as to not use a condom? With Sami of all people? Why do TPTB insist on treating sex in the most casual fashion in this day and age? I realize that it is a common phenomenon in soapdom - have sex once and wind up pregnant. Happens every time, on every soap. But once in a while, I would like to see someone be responsible. Just once. In a blue moon or something. If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; Carrie would have told Austin the "truth" about the genetic defects and they would have dealt with it together. Adopted a child or - here's a crazy thought - gotten a second opinion from another doctor. Or, maybe they decide to have a child and in a twist of fate; they actually do end up having a child with a birth defect. Why not? I think it would be refreshing to see a story about a young couple dealing with a child with special needs. For two important reasons; 1) it's true to life - there are a lot of children born every day with special circumstances and 2) it would give these characters a new and unique storyline - something other than lying, manipulating and/or pining over the person that they are not with. OR what if, Carrie decided that she didn't have to marry a man she didn't love, just to have a child. What about seeing her explore the single mother option? A lot of women are doing it these days. So basically...anything other than what is going on right now.

Sami is making me crazy! I cannot buy in to her latest scheme to "keep" Austin (as she puts it). If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; Sami would be putting her considerable plot-making talents in to getting Lucas back in to her life. OR what about something completely different? Say...Sami decides that she's spent far too many years focusing on the men in her life and decides to focus on herself from now on. This leads her back to school to learn a new career, something that she is passionate about - a writer, magazine editor or who-knows-what. This may sound boring but there is a ton of opportunity to be had here. For one; it would give the fans an opportunity to see Sami grow the bleep up (something we have all been screaming for) and two; there is lots of story around a young woman in her early 30's trying to fit in with the 20 year-old crowd; being a role model to her son and winning back Lucas's respect. For the right writer...there is a bazillion more things to explore in my scenario than with same old tired plots and ploys that are being recycled for one of Days most favorite characters. Lexie has no self-control whatsoever. She's hiding from her husband and the cops - hoping desperately that they don't catch her with Tek - and what does she do? She decides to take the time to get in on with Tek while hiding in the alleyway. Was I the only one scratching my head in confusion? What has happened to this character? Is she trying to get caught? Is she a freakin a nymphomaniac? Jeez...is Tek that good? Seriously! Inquiring minds gotta know! If I was in that same scenario; I can't imagine turning around and jumping the guy that I'm hoping not to get caught with. Weird. If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; Abe's impotency would have been fleshed out in to a real story rather than the side note it is to Lexie's affair with Tek. I would rather see Abe and Lexie deal with his impotency as many loving married couples would; with honesty and a willingness to get through it together. The story could be crafted so that the impotency is just a symptom of a larger problem; like post-traumatic stress syndrome. After all...Abe was kidnapped and thought dead for a year and he then returned home and went back to work like nothing had ever happened. They could even explore the contributing factor of Lexie working virtually round-the-clock at the hospital. I don't know but...I'm thinking that could be throwing a monkey wrench in to their love making plans. Maybe if their storyline focused a little more on their family, we'd even get to see Theo once in a while.

Oh. My. Gawd. Mimi & Shawn had to be told about the various options in child conception? Is this seriously the storyline or am I dreaming? Oh, Mimi tried to explain it away by saying that she never went to any of her follow up appointments and that no one mentioned options to her; but it sounded so hollow. Obviously, having her own children doesn't mean that much to her. I think that any woman - who seriously desired to give birth to her own child - would have researched all options; no matter how much of a long shot it is. I can't believe that Mimi never bothered to get a second opinion on her condition. I know that this is Salem and all and nobody gets a second opinion after getting 'the word' from our resident jack-of-all-medical-specialties Dr. Lexie Carver - but seriously...unless you live under a rock; do you really need the local bartender to clue you in? The bartender who just happened to overhear your husband mention your specific medical condition to a friend? "Yeah, Mimi is sad about the scarring in her fallopian tubes"? Suuuure! Mimi and Shawn claimed to be familiar with the concept of in-vitro fertilization but had never thought to look in to it. Okayyyy. I just cannot get over how ridiculous the writing is at times. Oh...they tried to explain it by making this complete stranger of a bartender actually have experienced in-vitro TWICE but come on...no one else in Shawn and/or Mimi's entire family ever brought up alternatives to conceiving the "old fashioned" (as Mimi so quaintly put it) way? Geesha!!! If Days had a Head Writer with imagination; Shawn would find out that Claire is his child (I am rooting for Victor to come clean). And Shawn, being Shawn - he would realize that maturity, marriage and all things "grown-up" are a lot more complicated than what he initially imagined. He would then choose to stay with his wife, forgive her for her insecurities about Belle (she does have good reason to be insecure) work through their problems together. I realize that scenario doesn't make the Shawn/Belle fans very happy so let's just settle for; If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; this quadrangle mess would be over by now and we would have moved on to the next development. Like, maybe we could see them buying their first house? Or how about seeing Mimi get a frickin job? Shawn is working at a garage to earn money...what is Mimi doing to contribute to the household?

Belle wants another baby? Ex-squeeze me, what? One minute she wants to blow her family apart and chase Shawn. The next minute she changes her mind and decides that Philip is the man for her and hey; let's seal the deal with another baby? Huh? See...this is how I know that a man is writing for the show. No woman is going to choose to have another baby so soon after her first was born. Claire is like...what...4, maybe 5 months old? If it happens by accident; fine, but the majority of women would not decide to have another child so soon after the first was born. Besides which...all doctors recommend that a woman wait a year between births. You gotta give the body a rest and all that - pregnancy is hard on the body! If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination; this would not be the next development in the story. I mean, we all know that this is just the setup for Philip to learn that he's infertile and therefore, could not be Claire's father. If Days had a Head Writer with a little imagination, Victor would come clean with Philip. Philip would then get a DNA test and the results would show that he IS indeed the father. After that, we could see a brand new story develop for this couple - one that does not involve Shawn and Mimi. Maybe Phil could get a job with his Dad and move in to the mansion (I miss the mansion scenes). Over time and because of his job, we would see Phil start to take on some of the more sinister Kiriakis business traits. Following this thought...his might then start to assume the role he was born for (Kiriakis heir-apparent) and start to become snobby. Maybe start pressuring Belle to act the part of the society wife? Maybe even start being verbally abusive? Whoa Nelly! I don't mean slap her around or anything (although insta-tear Martha would be a good actress for that type of part) but some kind of "you're not good enough to be a Kiriakis" kind of blah-be-bah. You know what I mean. Something interesting! Then...after a while, we would see Belle turn to Shawn (or maybe Lucas or Austin or someone NEW) because of her fear of Phil. I realize that this scenario is still in keeping with traditional soap stories, but don't you think it would be more interesting that what we are currently recycling over and over with these two (four) characters?

Now for some good news....The scenes of Abby finding Jennifer and Frankie in bed and coming unglued were a breath of fresh air. Ashley Benson is quite the talented actress. I will give Days their dues here - the casting department is doing a fantabulous job! There's an Emmy they could have had a shot at winning. Who could blame Abby for hauling off and slapping her mother? Not I, said the viewer who enjoyed this one rare moment of as-true-to-life-as-it-gets-on-Days. Jennifer gently explained the situation to Abby and showed her the DVD left by Jack (you know...the one urging Jennifer to move on with Frankie) and everything was resolved and all is hunky-dory at the Deveraux house once more. Why can't the other storylines be as well crafted? I appreciate the fact that Jennifer is still conflicted about the death of her husband and her growing feelings for her first love. That seems real to me. One question though....making love in the backyard? What was up with that? What is worse? Being caught in the house by your 18 year-old or doing it in your backyard where everyone can see you? Scratching head here... Anyhow; I'm really looking forward to the hinted-at-for-months relationship between Max and Abby that is supposed to develop just as soon as he gets his act together and throws the monkey called Chelsea off his back. From the looks of it...he may have finally done exactly that. Hallelujah! Not a moment too soon if you ask me!

A Bunch of Stupid Stuff

• WHY did Philip call Caroline Brady - of all people - to babysit Claire while he took Belle to Green Mountain Lodge? Caroline is not related to either Belle or Philip. Why wouldn't Phil have called his own mother to watch Claire? That was really dumb. Not to mention that he has enough damn money to hire a nanny or babysitter for his daughter right?
• Super-spy, master assassin, DiMera pawn and ISA operative John Black managed to do "something" to track the plane carrying Alex and Marlena. Okay. Fine. I can swallow that part. But THEN, upon take-off...John loses the signal and exclaims that Alex MUST have done "something" to prevent the plane from being tracked. WTF? Yet more ridiculous baloney. Sheesh!
• I didn't really understand why the LuMiCarTin quadrangle felt the need to run and hide when the cops busted in on club Dune? (oh Sami, Sami, Sami...calling the cops on Lexie...will you never learn?). Lucas and Sami explained it as not wanting to get arrested and risk embarrassing Will. Okayyyyy...but why would they have been arrested? Just for being at the club? I'm a neophyte to the whole cops-busted-the-joint scene but can you be arrested just for frequenting a place like that? Don't you have to be guilty of actually doing something? It was all just one more plot-driven fabricated ploy to get the "right" people alone together.
• Wouldn't the lump in Lexie's breast have to be removed - regardless of the results of the biopsy - as a safety precaution and then tested again? The doctors would still have to determine what caused the lump I would think.
• Why hasn't Sami wondered what Lexie has on Alex? She hasn't even asked! I would think, since she hates him and since he's with her mother that she'd be curious; especially given that Lexie coughed up what Sami was forcing her to do when Alex asked.
• In the deep depths of memories of his life with Hope - Bo turns and sticks his tongue down Billie Reed's throat? HUH? I just cannot repeat the same words again and again. Ridiculous. Stupid. Unbelievable. This kind of stuff doesn't happen unless you are cross-eyed, stumbling around, pissing in your pants drunk. If memory serves...he had A beer. Maybe two. But, conveniently...he had enough liquor in him to forget that his wife is actually far, far away rather than standing right beside him. Stupid, lazy writing! Do I sound like a broken record yet? LOL.
• Blocked, shmocked! If Bo reeeeeeaaaaally wanted to email Hope, he could set up any number of alias email addresses. Hope can't block them all! Ex: IloveFancyFace@yahoo (or hotmail, gmail or any of the other free email service providers). Or, what about: Idon'[email protected]. You may be laughing but...it is possible to do that. If TPTB at Days want to use modern day technology in their story-telling...at least make it freakin believable. And you know what else? Bo is a cop. He could easily put a trace on Hope's email address and find out what server she's using to check email. It might not give him her exact location but it would definitely narrow down what part of the world she's in and give him some sort of starting point to look for her. I've read a few emails and message posts from people defending Bo (and the writers basically) and his apparent unwillingness to look for Hope. These people choose to believe that though the viewers haven't actually seen Bo look for Hope, that he must have done so off-screen. You know what I say to that? Bull!!! This is a major piece of the story...Bo trying to find the love of his life...If TPTB want this story to be believable...then they HAVE to show us some part of his attempts to find her.

Sweeps Previews

• Carrie discovers she is pregnant (Shocker!)
• Hints that Mimi could be pregnant as well (shocker!)
• Austin proposes to Sami (What? Ever!)
• Jennifer proposes to Frankie (Oh! How convenient! It will probably happen on the same day that Jack is seen alive in the hospital - see next bullet)
• Jack is alive and in a hospital somewhere (according to the rumors - this is how the character of Kayla Brady-Johnson will be re-introduced to the scene. Apparently; she will be the nurse who is caring for Jack. Or something like that)
• Steve "Patch" Johnson returns to Salem - but with amnesia (oh lord; not another amnesiac! Salem isn't big enough for two of them!)

Storyline Spoilers The John/Marlena/Alex story will actually end. Believe it or not! And now that they have arrived on Morgan Island; expect that end to be coming very soon. Apparently, it has been confirmed in a variety of places that Wayne Northrop is leaving in May. Ironically, his character will fall off a cliff. (For those of you who don't know...when Wayne was originally on the show and playing the character of Roman - the character was written off in the same manner. Roman was hanging on the edge of a cliff and Bo was trying to save him but alas, he wasn't able to and Roman fell to what we all presumed was his death. We now know that was not the case). I'm guessing that TPTB will have the character of Alex North fall off a cliff in order to leave the door open for his potential return down the line. Oh Joy. Anyway, I'll miss Wayne but not his despicable character. Sayonara Dr. Eeevil!

And finally...for all those of you who wonder whether the head honchos at Days listen to their fans...Belle's comment to Philip that, not only is he NOT psychic, but most often wrong - was made for us; the moaning groaning masses. We are the ones who have continually complained about this; in both this column and the message boards. SEE! Once in a very blue moon, TPTB come through and acknowledge our frustration. Keep your comments, thoughts and complaints flowing in to Days and hopefully someday we will get our wish to have a person with a little imagination take over the Head Writer job for this venerable old Soap and restore it to the glory it once was.

Reader Feedback: Thanks to everyone who wrote in and provided their feedback! I truly look forward to reading your thoughts and opinions so keep them coming!

From Millie:"Pamela, Just love your two scoops take on DOOL. I am an old-time fan of the soap who started watching again last year and all I can say is it is a shadow of its former great self. It's very sad. I totally agree with your observations about the lazy writing and I think the first thing they could do to help the situation would be to fire the high school comp class they have attempting to write it now and put some adults to work! The show needs an infusion of new characters and new ideas. As far as I'm concerned, Patrick Lockhart and his sister Mimi are the best characters on the canvas right now. How about a Patrick and Carrie pairing???? Keep up the great work and I hope some of TPTB bother to read your column. Thanks again! Millie"

From Stacy:"I so agree with your comments on the Bo/Hope situation! The dialogue is so repetitive and no this is not the feisty Hope or the hero Bo we all fell in love with! I want the real Bo and Hope back! This cannot end soon enough for me..."

From Jean Waldman:"I must agree with all of the negative comments surrounding my old favorite DOOL these days. Every single SL is just recycled and repeated over and over again - people with the wrong partners, all of them will get pregnant with the wrong people - oh, the drama!!! let me just slap my forehead here!! I have just never HEARD such original stuff before - so let's just keep using it over and over! No, wait - let's make sure we have more people coming back from the dead, or let's just rewrite history one more time or what the heck, why not another DiMera plot??!! That's just so DRAMATIC!!! When I see the writing on other shows, I realize just how bad DOOL has really become. Plot driven and not character driven - what a huge mistake!! I am truly worried at how the returns of MBE and SN can be butchered and made unwatchable - dare we hope that they come back as a couple in a role supporting to others on the show? Of course not - who am I kidding??"

From Jennifer:"Just read your latest column where you said that Reilly wants to make the audience mad and throw things at the TV. Well I turned the TV off. I haven't watched Days since Carrie came back. No, I take that back, I watched whenever Zack died because the acting of Kristian and Peter was fantastic but when they decided to turn that promising storyline into another quad story involving Billie and Patrick I turned it off again. I keep up with the show through the different boards but I refuse to come back until there are some happy couples on this show. I am a big LUMI fan and the direction that their story has taken has actually sickened me. I don't see anyone happy with that storyline and they took a fantastic couple with a lot of chemistry and wrote them off like they didn't even happen, don't they realize that Lumi helped keep them afloat the last couple of years. They have a huge fan base and people are not happy. I am excited that Steve and Kayla are coming back but I don't know if I'm going to watch because I just think that Reilly is going to find a way to ruin it."

From Debbie: "I have read many similar comments from disappointed fans over the past few years. I too am one. Where did the Days of the 80's and 90's go? I basically grew up watching Days. I'm not ready to stop. Here is a question for everyone. What can we do as fans to get a message through that we are disappointed and tired of repetitive and predictable storylines? Do any of the Days writers read this website? Is there another way to voice our opinions besides turning off Days. I'm not ready to stop watching, but I tune in less and less." The Powers That Be at Days of our Lives do read this website; there is another way for fans to voice their opinions: you can put pen to paper and write to Days, care of NBC. Here is the address: Days of our Lives 3000 Alameda Blvd. Burbank, CA 91523

From Denise:"Great job this week! You are really feeling our pain. I've been checking the boards and you are the only one who has commented on Sami giving Belle advice. I find it incredibly wrong that Sami would tell Belle it is okay to leave Philip and go after Shawn when that is the very thing that she says ruined her life. Also, can we please have the real Marlena back being really Marlena and for more than just a few weeks!!! Thanks"

From Judi:"You may not want to talk about it in your column but this whole Abe story is just annoying. If Abe loves Lexie and if he is too proud to see a doctor, he can still be a lover. So either Abe is selfish or the writers think we are all stupid and I guess I am right on both counts."

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