Ah, amore! It's beautiful. It's sweet. It lifts us up where we belong. It's the thing of songs and poems and shows and movies and books and blah blah blah blah blah...blah. Yep. It's amazing, all right. Until it isn't.
The other side of love can be ugly. It can be bitter. I can be a hot messy Dumpster fire. That "lift" can come crashing down, shattering hearts into a million pieces. Yes, to some sad sack Salemites, Cupid is the town's worst villain ever (sorry, Satan).
Be forewarned. The following is not about supercouples or those super lucky Salemites who have several suitors at a time striving for their hearts. Nope. It's about those whose love lives have largely super sucked. Those who haven't been able to secure their "happily ever after" for more than a minute or two. Those who have given love the old college try, but for various reasons, Cupid's simply said to them, "Ya done."
Also, we're (mostly) not talking about the schemers and scoundrels who deserve the heartbreak bestowed upon them due to their devious, dirty deeds. That's another list for another time. We're lamenting the unlucky who have been (for the most part) decent citizens just trying to find the Tom to their Alice, the Doug to their Julie, the Sonny to their Will, the Hope to their Bo, the Patch to their Sweetness, and, well, you get the point. Not everyone can be part of a successful supercouple. Or even a regular couple, it seems. Then again, maybe it's better to be single than to be a couple like "Kayla and Shane." Eek. But we digress...
So, happy Valentine's Day? Nope. Not for these unlucky chumps. Let's look at some really unlucky residents who would like to kick Cupid on his little, heart-shaped pink rump.
Ready for a tale as old as time? A girl falls for the boy next door. The boy next door abandons her before their wedding. She later marries his father. She miscarries their child and hears phantom crying, and a mental breakdown ensues. Hubby abandons her, too, so she can reunite with the boy next door (his son), who's back in town, but those old lovin' feeling weren't there anymore. Girl then falls for a handsome stranger with amnesia. He turns out to be her oldest brother who underwent plastic surgery. She turns to God. Becomes a nun. Meets a scoundrel she was sweet on, has an affair, and a child...and that ended badly, too. You know, THAT old story.
Though we can't exactly call Mike "Dr. Love," we can call him "Dr. Tries Really Hard." Despite his best attempts, he's never been able to hold on to a partner. Young Mike has experienced more than one teenage heartbreak. He's parted ways with a lover over religious beliefs. He's had numerous relationships filled with fireworks that sadly ended with lackluster fizzles (several off-screen). Yes, Mike has had many great love stories, including one where he literally showed up on a white horse, but none has turned out to be true romance. That's a shame. This determined doctor is even willing to make love in a flying bed! So, really, if Mike can't stick the landing, is there any hope for the rest of Salem's singletons!?
Similar to his brother Mike, Lucas and love are not exactly simpatico. It's not that Lucas isn't a handsome guy with a hilarious flair, but he's often the joke of his own love life (and lately a flat-out creeper). Sure, his saucy mother's interference has never helped the situations, but even without Kate's special brand of meddlesome mothering, it still seems like Cupid simply doesn't want to do this guy a solid.
Like Lucas, Renee's lack of luck in love can also be significantly attributed to parental interference. Neither Stefano nor Lee was that great at the parent game. Go figure. It didn't help that Renée also thought the love of her life was her brother. Tony turned out not to be her sibling, and just when things were looking up for them, she was found facedown with a knife in her back. As Alanis might sing, "A little too ironic. Don't you think?"
Oh, yes! Ava's done (and will continue to do) horrible things, but we can't say it doesn't sting when you've done the work to be the best version of yourself, and your first attempt at a sober, healthy relationship ends because your honest boyfriend sleeps with your best/only friend. Oh, yes. That stings, all right. It's no wonder Ava's next pairing has been with revenge.
This is said with love, but Claire is often overshadowed by the Ciara Brady Show. Even when her auntie said she was "good" with Claire's decision to date her ex -- exes -- Ciara kind of wasn't. That meant Claire had competition yet had to be understanding to whatever plight Ciara was afflicted with at the time. Claire Bear was good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people liked her...but they seemed to like Ciara just a smidge more. Stay strong, Claire! It's your turn next.
Paige's time in Salem wasn't long lasting, but when your first great love has an affair with your mother, that earns you a place on this list. Sadly, J.J. turned out to be her first and last great love. RIP, Paigey.
It's tough not being Hope in Bo Brady's world, but Billie gave loving him the old college try on more than one occasion. No doubt, he did love her back, but let's face it, she wasn't his Fancy Face. There was also the time that Billie was sweet on Steve, but let's face it, she wasn't his Sweetness. Sure, that does garner her some sad street cred for being the third wheel in two supercouple relationships. There's that.
It's probably best not to mention Billie dating two, um, upstanding Salemites (Franco Kelly and Patrick Lockhart), or the one-night stand she had with upstanding Nick Fallon, who dated her daughter, Chelsea. Yep. Best not to mention them. She didn't even win big Beyond Salem. Still, we're crossing our fingers that her dinner date with Lord Sebastian Alamain was just the beginning of something special. To be clear, we're crossing our fingers -- not getting our hopes up.
While Carly also knows a little something-something about "not being Hope in Bo Brady's world," her love life basically reads as a tabloid, not a fairy tale. Some "headlines" include when she was married to Victor Kiriakis at a time when he was on his worst behavior. Then she married Lawrence Alamain and basically became an abused prisoner. She had a torrid tryst with Dr. Dan. Later, because of said abused prisoner status, she killed Scary Larry in self-defense. Eventually, she had a short-lived reconciliation with Bo, and then, you know, became a drug addict who left Salem in shambles. Oh, Doc Manning. We love you, if that counts!
He's cute. He's charming. He's smart. He's loyal. He's a European aristocrat with Brady blue collar values and a law degree. He may or may not have even dabbled in lifeguarding. But at the end of the day, he wasn't Jack Deveraux. Being Jennifer's second choice more than once to a dead man who's not really dead who died again and was not really-really dead again, isn't bad, right? Though it's safe to assume "Von Leuschner" does not translate into "Lucky in Love," as neither royal sibling seems destined to reign in someone's heart.
Okay. There's a pattern here. That is, don't get between supercouples. It rarely, if ever, works out. Placeholders will eventually be passed over once the supercouple ship realigns. Need more proof? Meet Paul. He's a handsome, charismatic former professional baseball player turned private eye. The only thing Paul couldn't find was the "Wilson" warning label as he went to bat with both Will and Sonny but ended up striking out. Paul eventually moved to San Fran for recovery after a little plunge through a window left him in a wheelchair. We hope his handsome physical therapist has mended his heart along with the rest of him.
When one debuts dressed in silver swimwear, stepping out of their crashed space craft, you'd think that would be a sign it'll get better, right? As it turns out, not so much for Cassie. Her love life never made it out of the wreckage.
Cassie's first crush was Shawn-Douglas. We get that, but whoops! He turned out to be her cousin. Don't fear. She had another crush. It was Lucas! Whoops again. He turned out to be her half-brother. And then she was murdered, and her slain body was stuffed inside a giant Thanksgiving turkey piñata.
Okay, okay. Cassie was later found alive on Melaswen, but her love life was certainly not resuscitated, and she left for Chicago shortly after returning to town. We hope the Windy City is treating her better than Salem did, but, again, we won't hold our breath.
In what will forever be etched into our minds as a heartbreaking and hella awkward moment, Nathan showed up to profess his love for Melanie and, well -- let's flash back!
Though Nathan was dating Stephanie, it was Melanie who held his heart. Even when Mel was betrothed to Philip, the young doc couldn't turn off his feelings, nor could Melanie. An ooey-gooey love letter was written. Aw! Then intercepted. Boo! Eventually, wrongdoings came to light, Nathan and Stephanie broke up, as did Melanie and Philip. True love was free to be between Nathan and Melanie! Yep, all barriers cleared, and then...
Nathan showed up with his heart on his sleeve and the cutest, most optimistic look ever, ready to provide Melanie with a "happily ever after" scenario, and she told him -- "'Naw." Okay. Not the exact wording she used, but Mel wasn't ready for romance again so soon after the explosion of her love life. Fair enough, but it was a bit mindboggling, considering she was all-in on Nathan earlier. It left us with a general feeling of defeat, nonetheless. We wanted to give him a "Better luck next time, champ!" pep talk, but his sobbing kind of drowned out our words of comfort.
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for February 14. Happy Valentine's Day! We hope you've all had better luck at love than the characters on our list and are being showered with adoration and heart-shaped sugary goodness. Once we hand out some sad sack swag bags to the Salemites on our list to lift their spirits, we'll be back again next week with another Olympic hiatus (and not as sad) synchronized Two Scoops team-up! And, as always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
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