I don't think we're in Kansas anymore

Li seems to have channeled the Wicked Witch of the West. R.J. is afraid to speak up about Eric, Deacon wants to give his heart to Sheila, Eric isn't using his head when it comes to his health, and Steffy just wants to come home. And the show seems to have dropped a house on Wyatt. If it doesn't look like Kansas, that's because this is Two Scoops!

In the biggest surprise that never should have shocked anyone -- but certainly jolted me and Don Diamont (Bill Spencer) -- Darin Brooks announced his exit as Wyatt Spencer. Read more about it here. I'm sure it saddened fans to see that the soap has given up yet another major character who still had a lot of story-unfurling ahead of him. I'm left wondering if we'll see Wyatt again or wind up slapping his photo on an MIA milk carton for the end-of-the-year roundup.

Viewers knew Wyatt Spencer was on shaky ground when Hope Logan returned, and the script never really addressed that she'd left town while married to him, divorcing him off-screen. At that time, the writers chose the Lope/Steam triangle over the Lope/Hott triangle. Weirdly, Hope (who can apparently hold a grudge against Flo and Liam) didn't even harbor any ill feelings toward Quinn, either. That lent more proof that Hott was done and gone, and Wyatt moved on to romances with Sally and Flo.

The biggest clue that Wyatt might be on the way out was when he got engaged to Flo Logan, but Flo's mother left town, Flo disappeared, and Quinn ran off without so much as a goodbye scene with her son. No characters commiserated on-screen with Wyatt about his losses. Taylor even bought his house, and the Spencer men had not one conversation about it. Remember when Bill and Wyatt used to argue over whose house that was? It was unbelievable to me that Bill and Wyatt didn't confront each other nostril-flare-to-nostril-flare about that house.

It will be a travesty if viewers do not get one last scene with the Spencer men, but at least Wyatt leaves alive -- unlike unfortunate legacy characters like Aly Forrester and Caroline Spencer Jr. The writers could have easily had Sheila lay waste to Wyatt as revenge for Bill's foiled plot against her. Lord knows Wyatt was mouthing off to her enough, so I thank the Soap God of Exits that Wyatt leaves uneventfully, even if he does take a few Spencer mysteries with him.

The first mystery Wyatt takes with him is one that most probably assume is solved. It's the mystery of his paternity. If you will recall, there was never a DNA test performed to prove Wyatt was really Bill's son. I've been waiting on that test for over a decade. I mean, come on, guys, are we really supposed to take Quinn's word for that? Quinn of all people?

Speaking of Quinn, the next Spencer mystery left looming in Wyatt's departure is what really happened to Ricardo Montemayor, and where is that priceless diamond these days? Still on its endless tour of Europe? Perhaps Deacon Sharpe will eventually shed some light on whether Quinn poisoned Montemayor to give Wyatt a leg up against Liam in the war for Hope's heart, but as for now, that mystery is a cold case that might never be solved.

The final mystery Wyatt takes with him is whether he'll ever have that mini-van happily-ever-after with Flo Logan. I venture to guess that many fans don't care about what happened to Flo, but for me, it would be nice to know if Wyatt ever gets the wife he deserves and raises a mini-surfer dude just like him. And that may or may not be Flo Logan. We might never know, but what we do know is that Wyatt's exit creates a new mystery: what is the fate of Bill Spencer and his family?

I will cry if Bill Spencer leaves Los Angeles. I don't even want to think about it, but with his family shrinking and the Finnegan relatives expanding, I do have to question how long the Spencers will be around. Bill's wheels have been spinning in quicksand with Katie for years. Douglas has been Forrester and Loganized, his Spencer DNA completely neutralized. He and Liam do not even act like they are blood-related, either. And with Liam on the outs with Hope (and again, the Finnegan family expanding), where does even Liam go from here?

Speaking of the expanding Finnegan family, some think Li is the next queen and matriarch of the soap, but so far, she's only managed to show just how wicked the West makes its witches. Li drowned Sheila in pasta sauce and vowed to get Luna -- and her little lap dog, R.J., too! Does Li have what it takes to replace Stephanie?

Break out the sage because Li is burning the evil at both ends of the stake. Some Li apologists see her as a firm matriarch who protects her family at any cost, but to others, she's coming across as a callous, hypocritical bully who will destroy her family with her sibling-focused acrimony and possibly even get them banned from Il Giardino. Sure, glass-breaking, and pasta-slathering are stunts out of Stephanie's repertoire; however, Li lacks the heart to replicate the Queen, and her callousness is coming off more like that of the sword-crafting Quinn.

Yes, Stephanie was nasty. Yes, Stephanie was a bully. Yes, Stephanie knocked people off piers, tried to strangle people with phone cords, took a knife to a neck or two, urged a rapist to trespass on Brooke, and faked a few illnesses, making Li look like a prankster. But and however -- the difference between the two is that we saw Stephanie's heart and soul. We knew a whole other softer side to her. Basically, we don't know Li like that, and she can't get away with what Stephanie could. Frankly, she can't get away with what Quinn could, either, because whereas Quinn got respect for embracing her dark side, Li shrouds herself in hypocritical honor.

For example, does Li really mean to tell viewers that Poppy -- I mean, Penelope -- ruined Li's life, ran her off from a hospital, and ruined her career, but Li didn't have a problem embarrassing herself, her son, and the Forresters by turning into a Karen-zilla and committing assault and battery at Il Giardino? Poppy embarrassed Li on her job, so Li gets to wreak havoc at Sheila's?

Plus, Li is so hot about Poppy's affair, but she overlooks the fact that she just tried to slay Sheila for the return of the Paternity Test Princess who embarrassed Finn on his job with a who's-the-daddy fiasco? I agree with those who say what Vinny did was out of Steffy's control -- just like what the surgeon did to Li was out of Poppy's -- I mean Penelope's -- control. Li even said that when the surgeon's wife found out about the affair, the surgeon blamed it on Li for getting Poppy -- I mean Penelope -- hired! What the hell? That's like blaming Steffy's need for her first paternity test on Liam because Bill is his father.

What's noodling about the Il Giardino fight, though, is how dumb it was for Li to ask how customers would feel to know their server was a murderous psychopath. Does she know the owner of the establishment got out of prison for attempted murder or that her son's mother-in-law skated on attempted murder? For Li's information, Sheila worked at Il Giardino before, and no one cared.

I am rooting for Deacon and Sheila, and I don't want Sheila to go cray-cray. I loved that she controlled herself, but I gotta be honest -- I wouldn't have minded if Sheila had filleted Li with all those knives on the table. Deacon should have called the police and gotten a restraining order against Li, and then we can really see who can provoke whom to get herself arrested.

Another difference between Stephanie and Li is their choice of victims. I don't think I've ever seen Stephanie target the completely innocent. Well, okay. I forgot. Stephanie was an abortion tea specialist, but still, it's a turn-off to see Li go after Luna for something the other half of Poppy's -- I mean, Penelope's -- affair did to her.

I have to admit, R.J. and Luna are cute, but they'd bore the crown off a Disney princess. They are better as Li's victims than lovers, and I look forward to watching R.J. keep the bully in her place. Li is doing the most with the least amount of street cred, and R.J. doesn't mind calling in reinforcements. If she keeps trying to run things at Forrester, R.J. might have to get his dad involved, and we'll see who Ridge calls a "that" and an "animal" next.

Friday, Hope looked into the face of a monster, cried that her father was in love with a monster, and then she made out with the former monster. Eric is worried about a stapler, but all Hope wants to do around Forrester is get hammered! Liam let her down, so she hops on the Thomas stick. Deacon lets her down, so she hops on the Thomas stick. She doesn't want to take advantage of Thomas, but oh, does it feel so good to take advantage of Thomas!

I can't with Hope anymore. I just can't. Everything she said when she pleaded with Deacon about Sheila is everything anyone has been saying to her for months -- hell, years -- about Thomas. When she cried to Deacon about losing their relationship over Sheila, she looked exactly like Liam when he pleaded with her about losing their marriage over Thomas. Instead of reasoning with Hope, Deacon should have said, "I'm rubber, you're glue, and I wish whatever you say would bounce off me and stick to you about Thomas!"

Brooke's face expressed that same sentiment when, at the office, Hope fretted about what a mistake her father was making. When Hope suggested putting her relationship with Deacon on the line to extort him out of his relationship with Sheila, I wished Brooke would have said, "Wait. If that would work, let me just say if you keep boinking Thomas in this building, Donna's gonna stop babysitting for you, and don't even think about coming to the main house in the middle of the night for ice cream, Missy, because the ice creamery is closed as long as you're churning it up with Thomas."

Hope is on my crap list. I wish I could drink her tears off her face the way Li ate the sauce off Sheila. Li said it was bitter, but Hope's tears would be sweet to me. Statements like the one she made to Deacon about his invitation to Beth's party make me desire to see Hope cry even more.

How dare Hope say she wouldn't have invited Deacon to the party had she known about him and Sheila! If that's the case, Liam should have told Hope that she wasn't invited to the party because of her relationship with Thomas. In fact, while Hope claims her dad is ruining all they've built because of his association with Sheila, I would like Beth to tell Hope that she wants to live with Daddy until Hope can stop sexing the man who helped keep Beth from her mother during her first year of life.

The only solace I get from this storyline is that Liam dumped Hope and never looked back. However, he's looking to become ravioli mush if he comes between Steffy and Li's baby, Finn.

Last week ended with the obligatory toy delivery and a slip of the tongue. Liam dropped a bear off for Beth at Forrester, along with some information Thomas already knew -- Liam wants Steffy back. The conversation started off with the role of Wyatt, Liam's sounding board, being played by Thomas. Liam looked like he'd stepped in it when he let it slip to Thomas that he wanted Steffy back, but Thomas looked back at him like, "No sticks, Sherlock!"

Thomas handled it well, saying he wanted what was best for Steffy, and frankly, spooked-and-running Liam ain't it. Next, Liam went to harass Finn about protecting his wife. Once Liam found out Finn hadn't told Steffy about Sheila and Deacon, Liam hopped on the phone to be the first one to break the news and beg Steffy to return to town and be with him, not Finn.

This could proceed in a couple of ways. Knowing that Finn is best at saving patients, not his marriage, Li might hop on her broomstick with some beef ravioli takeout for Liam's smug mug in her bid to scare Liam away from Steffy. With the thinning of the Spencer herd and a notable absence of Bill, it's possible that Li could spook Liam right out of town; however, where would all the fun be if Li ran everybody from Luna, to Sheila, to Liam off?

No, I predict that Steffy will cave to the idea that Finn just can't protect her, and she'll leave him for the man she thinks can -- Liam. Steffy's heart will truly belong to Finn, putting both Thomas and Liam in the same position of loving women with divided hearts.

Liam calls, and Steffy answers, I guess. Either that, or Finn's thousands of messages finally got through, and Steffy decided to return home to him, not Liam. Insert sarcasm emoji. How would Finn feel if it is actually Liam's message, and not Finn's, that convinces Steffy to return?

More people find out about Eric's condition, as Donna and Eric still forget to lock the front door with top-secret designs laying all over the place and a big medical secret hovering over them. Katie learns the extent of Eric's illness and agrees to keep quiet. That means everyone else should find out in five, four, three...

The fashion challenge draws near, and viewers can look forward to seeing Lauren Fenmore (Tracey Bregman) and Esther Valentine (Kate Linder) arrive, along with Marie Osmond, who makes her soap opera debut as a countess. For those looking for Lauren and Li to double-team Sheila, I doubt that will happen. Just like her last Halloween visit, Lauren's appearance is probably strictly fashion business.

That's it. I'm all scooped out, but if you have a couple more scoops you'd like to add, please do so in the comments section below. I appreciate you reading along, and until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!Chanel

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