Quinn-tuple bypass

Music may make the people come together, but nothing unifies folks more than Quinn. Ridge and Rick actually agreed. Pam lost her lemon bars. But Wyatt and Steffy's threats got Quinn keyed up thanks to Eric! File your change of address with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you dig out the history books to keep someone from repeating history? Did a former baddie cussing your daddy make you hot for a laddie? Did you approve a really big move? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Avant clan this week!

I'm back, Scoopers! Yep, it's Mike on your monitors, thanking Chanel for filling in for me these past weeks. Everyone on B&B is radically relocating these days, so why shouldn't I? After only three months in L.A., I drove myself back to Canada. Maybe I wasn't quite ready for that California adventure. You know, through my brother and a best friend dying, the collapse and end of a 15-year relationship, and now two cross-country moves, these columns and all you guys have been the one constant. I'm truly grateful!

Of course, I've missed a few things the past month, especially the whole Monte Carlo mle. And what was up with the sudden demise of CaRidge? They didn't even try to work it out, and Ridge pulled a Zende, breaking up with Caroline in a romantic setting. Then Caroline grabs Douglas and takes off? As if Thomas would ever allow that! But he has -- I gather so the rudderless Sasha can wipe Thomas' tears...or something.

Now, what is that saying about stones and glass houses? Thomas flamed Julius for ranking on Sasha, but it wasn't long ago Thomas sassed his own father and punched him out. Not sure Thomas had a right to swoop in on this one. Though I agree Julius isn't worried about Sasha being a reminder to Vivienne -- he just doesn't like Sasha being a reminder to himself. Wish Lucy would show up to really twist the knife about Julius' stepping out!

We got two days of Sasha's gratitude, though I liked Thomas lamenting his lack of family dinners and road trips growing up and Sasha bemoaning having to play BFF to Nicole through childhood while pretending they weren't sisters. Naturally, Sasha planted a thank-you kiss on Thomas' stubbled self. Don't know how I feel about "Tasha." They're both single, and they could be interesting...or maybe not.

Sasha just went through being second choice to a guy who wasn't over someone. How's she going to feel being a good-time girl to Thomas, who clearly still wants to be a family with Caroline and their son? And now Thomas has kissed two Avant sisters; he just needs to plant one on Maya for completion. Will we get a Sasha/Thomas/Caroline triangle when Miss Selfie Spencer comes back? Please, soap gods, no more triangles!

From the way we left Tasha at the door, Thomas is about to put his key in Sasha's locks, which is fitting, because Eric's doing that with Quinn and just handed her a literal key. But let's back up a bit, owing to my time away. So Eric dumps Quinn by text, takes her back, dumps her again when Steffy dumped her on her ass, and now Eric is putting out the welcome mat both at Forrester Creations and the Forrester manse.

I'm so torn! As I've said before, anything John McCook does is gold, and Eric is reenergized in a way he hasn't been in years. He's no longer merely a sounding board for the Kiddie Patrol or limiting himself to company decisions. Eric Forrester is out there and taking no prisoners, telling his family if they don't like what he does, they can stick it where the sun don't shine! How fun is that to watch? I'm telling you, very, very fun!

But -- and you knew there'd be one -- Eric has been in this exact position before, and long before the Kiddie Patrol was around. Sheila Carter, anyone? Yet for all the caterwauling about Quinn's plentiful misdeeds, no one has reminded Eric that he's ridden the crazy train before. And why would Eric give a free pass to a woman who's committed Sheila-like offenses after living through Sheila's reign of terror to begin with?

Rick reminded Eric about Quinn's part in Hope's miscarriage, and Eric turned it around on Pam when the pearl princess said Quinn had a questionable grip on reality: "It wasn't too long ago people were saying that about you, Pam," Eric scoffed. Ouch! But so true. Eric pointed out they'd all made decisions he didn't like, but he'd supported them anyway. "You will respect me!" he barked. Eric was almost channeling Stephanie, wasn't he?

Gangsta Granny would have kneed Eric in the nuts again for this one. And there are only so many minutes in an episode, but the show missed bringing up that Quinn almost killed Liam and could have killed Ivy, dropping her into the Seine. And what about Aly, who got held over a second-story railing? No, it's one thing for lonely Eric to be blinded by the va-jay-jay, but he'd never ignore Quinn's crimes like this, not after Sheila.

Well, as Rick said, it's something when he and Ridge see eye to eye. This whole arc might be worth it for bringing the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan together in harmony. And Eric did tell Quinn she'd be out on her earrings if she pulled any of her infamous stunts. We'll have to see if Eric holds to it. No one else was buying it, especially Ridge, who got dumped out of the mansion like he got dumped out of that helicopter!

Eric chastised Ridge for claiming Thomas' son as his own. Yes, Ridge was wrong. But what happened to the morality clause that ended Rick's tyranny as CEO? If Ridge is guilty of violating it over Douglas' paternity, isn't Eric guilty for hiring a woman who would be in jail if the show didn't keep avoiding it? Hell, orange could be the new black for Quinn for Deacons' cliff-diving alone. The family doesn't even know about that!

In a strange throwback to Kridge, Katie visited Ridge, who told his poetry-appreciating ex she had to push for Bill's 12.5% share in Forrester in her divorce -- it was stock Ridge needed to keep Quinn at bay. How does he figure? Ridge, Steffy, Thomas, and Bill already own 62.5%; they forced Rick out on that score and could do the same to Eric. Ridge owning 32.5% on his own doesn't change anything. Not a damn thing.

Then, Brooke showed up out of nowhere to commiserate with Ridge. Where was she during that all-important meeting about Quinn? Brooke probably still has the scar from where Quinn smacked her to the ground when she was #DrunkBrooke. Miss Logan was running Forrester when Rick was in diapers and Steffy wasn't even an afterthought in Taylor's ovary. So why didn't she get a chance to weigh in, but Pam did?

Amid the rumblings I hear about nuBridge happening, the "unforgettable" duo discoursed on Steffy and Wyatt's marriage and Quinn's effect on it. Oh, no, not that. I was having flashbacks to 2011-2012 when all the legacy characters did was talk about their kids' love lives. Give that reboot the boot right now. There's already too much talk on this show as it is. Like the old disco song says, "I want some ac-SHON!"

Steffy may be providing that, but we'll get there in a minute. First, Liam and Wyatt bantered for two episodes, with Liam predicting doom and gloom for Weffy's marriage and Wyatt coming up with all the ways he had his mother taken care of. Liam pining for Steffy is the weakest link of this whole thing. And I get tired of Wyatt being in denial. At least the Spencer bros called each other out on their true motivations.

I don't get Liam's alarm, either. "[Quinn's] gonna lose control," he wailed, "and that's gonna be it for Steffy!" Why would Quinn want to target Steffy? Unless Steffy hurts Wyatt, I suppose. That may happen without Quinn, since Thomas is totally shipping Steam right now. Liam is loving the encouragement, of course. He better not find out Steffy's real beef with Quinn has nothing to do with Eric, but Liam. That's all he needs.

Wyatt couldn't believe it when Steffy arrived announcing Quinn had been rehired at Forrester (again, what happened to Quinn Artisan Jewelers?). Wyatt, who still wanted to believe the best about his mother despite the redwood-thick case file on her, swore to Steffy he'd pry Quinn off of Eric. So Wyatt dashed to her motel (again, what happened to Quinn Artisan Jewelers?) but mama wasn't answerin' the paint-peeled door.

That's because she was at the Forrester compound, surrounded by candles and Eric's ivory-tinkling. (So nice to see/hear that again.) Eric didn't condone some of what Quinn had done (!) but believed in a fresh start, and I don't mean the old laundry detergent. "I was a shrew," Quinn conceded. I don't think that's quite the word. But no matter, Eric served up some Champagne, and Quinn found a key in the bubbles!

I guess that's more original than the engagement-ring-in-a-glass trick, which Ridge used on Brooke back in the day. Quinn was thrilled, but her golden ticket to Queen Stephanie's old stomping grounds was barely dry when Wyatt flew in. Mr. Fuller-Spencer barely got to frown at his mom before Eric repeated his rhetoric about no one getting to tell him or Quinn how to live their lives.

But Wyatt got his chance when Eric went upstairs, maybe to order some chains and whips online with rush delivery. "You know how Steffy feels," Wyatt pleaded. "Does it even matter that you're hurting me?" Quinn barked that for once she was going to put her needs over her son's. Wyatt didn't like that. "You are this close to blowing our relationship," he promised. Did he finally reach in his pants and find some balls?

Sounds like Wyatt took his cue from Steffy, who sneered that Quinn's language was Threats, "and I'm gonna start speaking it." But Wyatt shouldn't put too much stock in controlling Quinn with threats of disownment. After all, Quinn was perfectly willing to let Wyatt go permanently so she could continue being Eve to her Adam! That's been a beat I'd felt the show was missing since starting Queric: Quinn gave up on Liam way too easily.

I still maintain that Liam had legitimate feelings for Quinn, even if he thought he was Adam. Quinn moving on with Eric and leaving Liam behind didn't ring true to me. So I was amazed when B&B addressed it by having Quinn state that it was Liam's love that made her believe she deserved a man like Eric! Still wish Liam thought of Quinn sometimes despite himself, but at least this was a connective thread.

If memory serves, Wyatt actually did turn his back on Quinn after she tried to shish kebab Liam, for all the good that did. Maybe Wyatt remembered that, because he seemed to lose his resolve by the time he went to Liam and told him they had worse things to worry about than Quinn designing at Forrester: Quinn's address was now Beverly Hills. Oh, my freaking God, the brothers howled. Just how would Steffy react?

Steffy caught Quinn admiring Stephanie's portrait, saying Ms. Fuller's would never be up there. I dunno; if Maya's could replace it, Quinn may have a shot. Steffy continued to hurl accusations at Quinn, but Quinn's intentions seem to be pure this time. Or are they? Wouldn't it be something if this turned out to be the con of all cons? Even Sheila might have to bow down for that one. (You know she's still alive, y'all. You know she is.)

Bet Steffy never figured when Quinn hitched that ride to Paris with her in 2013 and sweet-talked her into telling Liam she was no longer barren that three years later, Quinn would be rocking her world like this. "You should be living in jail," Steffy scowled. True, but not for kidnapping Liam -- for trying to kill him. If Liam were smart, he'd solve this by putting Quinn away for that. Or is there a statute of limitations for attempted murder?

Steffy rather shot herself in the foot, roaring that Quinn kidnapped Liam to get back at her. Whaaaaat? To help Wyatt, yeah, but not that. Then Steffy parroted Liam with the tired "we'd be married if it wasn't for you" argument. And finally someone said what I've been saying all along! "You weren't engaged," Quinn recalled. "Liam broke it off with you, and then he walked away!" I love you, Quinn! I love you!

Quinn also sensed that Steffy doesn't really want to be with Wyatt -- astute when you consider just moments before Steffy admitted to Ridge that she'd never stopped loving Liam, even after she moved to Paris following her miscarriage and he moved on with Hope. There was a lot of great continuity like that this week (and considering I did a whole book about continuity, I should know).

Steffy was tired of playing. With her ass-kicking namesake in her eye line, Steffy proved she had memorized her English-to-Threats dictionary, because her mastery of the language was perfect: "I will leave Wyatt if you keep pushing me." Well, that got Quinn where she lived! I mean, Steffy's not wrong -- if Quinn really wanted to prove she's changed, she'd stay away, and maybe one day, Steffy would truly come around.

But Quinn's always rushed in where devils fear to tread (angels don't even bother hanging around). And this time, she was getting her own back on her. I'm surprised Steffy didn't add, "Don't forget, I whacked Aly, and I'll freakin' whack you, too!" Because if there had been a tire iron in the mansion, Steffy would have used it. So, will Quinn give Eric up for Wyatt? Or will Quinn play "Any Threat You Can Make, I Can Make Better"?

Queric makes zippo sense, but at least it's turning into an umbrella story involving almost the entire cast, which the show has needed for a while. Are you liking the umbrella, or do you find the story rained out? Are you loving or hating Thomas and Sasha getting all wet? Talk to me in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

• "Eric was amazing! I'm here to watch him go off on Ridge!" -- "soccermom"

• "I am sold on Quinn vs. Steffy! Best rivalry 4 years! [Rena Sofer and Jacqueline MacInnes Wood] are soap gold!" -- "Miss Gracie"

• "Why didn't Stephanie's portrait fall with Quinn there?" -- "Sam the Mailman"

I know, right, Sam? I kept thinking that, too. I'm surprised the portrait didn't fall and the whole Forrester mansion didn't sink in on itself like at the end of Poltergeist. Hey, Susan Flannery, how about coming back in for a quick eppie? Stephanie haunting Quinn would be the perfect addition to this story right now!

And while we're at it, here are some more Points to Ponder!

Interesting that neither Eric nor Quinn is mentioning their first flirtation back in 2013. Guess Eric needs to simmer sometimes -- after all, it took him 18 years to get anywhere with Taylor... "[Fun is] a word I haven't taken part of in a long time," Thomas sighed. Seems to me that's about all he took part of until recently... A valet opened the door for Quinn; last month, servants fed Zende and Nicole. Yet for 29 years before that, the Forrester mansion only ever had the occasional maid. I still miss Maria...

Did anyone else notice that Steffy is still wearing Liam's engagement ring on her right hand?... Ridge insisted that it would benefit Katie to obtain Bill's 12.5% stock and sell it to Ridge. How exactly?... Sasha was sad that Zende broke up with her because of her play-with-someone-else's-pee pregnancy scam. No, sweetie, Zende was breaking up with you before you went toilet-dipping. That's why you went toilet-dipping!

Hey, Soap Central's got some major 4-1-1 for y'all!

First off, Ivy's coming back. Ashleigh Brewer, I think you're a gorgeous, engaging actress, but Ivy's a ruined character. I was fully Team Ivy when she threatened Quinn with Quinn's own welding equipment for pushing her into the Seine, but Ivy lost me when she used #JusticeforAly for her own advancement and macked on Thomas and Liam while going with Wyatt. Not looking forward to Ivy's August 31 return. But I'm willing to be surprised.

R.J.'s been recast! The kid's supposed to be 12, so he hasn't been SORASed too badly. Is he here to service nuBridge? I mean, he should be around, as he's Ridge and Brooke's only child together. I just hope we're not hyping R.J. as a big return and then he's only around one day. (Can you say "Chris McKenna"?)

And, for the first time, perhaps in the most comprehensive way ever, B&B is giving us a chance to weigh in on the show with a pages-long poll -- and it's pretty specific! We can even fill in a few sections in our own words. I did! (The gist: not so many triangles, please!) Don't pass up your turn. We may never get another one!

Well, Scoopers, see y'all in two weeks with more of my soapy ramblings and some news about a project I'm working on here on Soap Central. Follow me on Twitter, thanks for following my columns the past seven years, and, as I've wrapped 'em up from the beginning: keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.