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Nadia Bjorlin
Episode 1: Dirty Truth
For the episode airing September 25, 2011

When I heard that E! was doing a reality show following several soap stars, I was over the moon. When I heard that the cast was to follow a majority of current/former DAYS stars and their bootylicious (yup, just added that word to my spell check) significant others, I went crazy. It's like the TV gods looked down and smiled on me!

Sure, some may say that reality shows are going to be the death of soaps. But, I'd argue that this soap, on this network, could give my beloved daytime genre a kick in the demographic where advertisers want to shine. Just consider this- did you have any idea what a Kardashian was before they got their own show? How many of Hefner's girlfriends could you name before The Girls Next Door? And, no less than three show (The Soup, E! News, and Fashion Police) will pull material from their fellow E! shows. This is a cross-promoting beast of a channel.

And, the whole shindig is brought to you by none other than the first couple of ABC daytime, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, both of All My Children fame. Having the two of them serve as producers gives a little bit of "street cred' " to the show. Thus, I'm taking it as total gospel with no creative editing added. Okay, that last part it a total lie, but I'm still so excited for the premier! Here's what Dirty Soap delivered last week.


KIRSTEN and KELLY
Kelly has impressed me on General Hosptial, but really won my heart when she became the first Dancing with the Stars champ. If she would come out as a Star Wars fan, she'd complete Laurisa's holy trinity of awesomeness. Kirsten started as a young teen scene member on my beloved DAYS. Yet, you'd never know it from listening to her. She claims that her start was as some spandex clad alien on a Disney Channel show. But, I know better.

From listening to Farah, you'd think that Kirsten was somewhere between Cruella DeVille, Regina George, and Nelly Olson from Little House on the Prairie. But all that I saw was a dedicated fire ball who tried to push her costar to move on. We don't know what caused Kelly to end her 18 year (yes, 18 year) relationship with her high school boyfriend (yes, high school boyfriend). But someone needed to tell her that it was time to get rid of the prom dress and homecoming pictures. Enter, Kirsten. Sure, it might have been better to go with the whole "donate it to charity" route, but how dramatic would that be? Kelly burnt the thing instead. How very soapy!

Besides, Kelly did her part for charity when she proclaimed, "You could suck your own t*ts" to a fan at a charity event. The comment was crass, but the candor was kinda charming. This beautiful girl doesn't care what anyone thinks. I have to dig that about her.


JENNA and GALEN
The two have been together for a total of 18 years, married for 11, and have two adorable moppets who ride tricycles around their beautiful California home. And make no mistake, this home is awesome. At one point the two were having an argument on what looked to be a wooden deck surrounded by trees and Jenna stomped off on another wooden staircase to another deck through more trees. Conclusion? The Swiss Family Robinsons built Jenna and Galen's house.

But that's about all that's cool about these two. Galen has been steadily employed in the soap world for over a decade, including his current money role playing opposite Alison Sweeney on DAYS. A quick trip over to IMDB will tell you that Jenna's last gig was in a TV series that lasted about six episodes back in 2008. Personally, I think she embarked on a much harder and more important career by deciding to stay home and raise their two boys. But, that's not the arc that Dirty Soap gave her.

Jenna is insanely insecure and Galen is cruelly cavalier in Dirty Soap. When asked to work through a scene with him in which Sami and Rafe kiss, Jenna stormed up the afore mention tree stairs and Galen consoled her with the ever sensitive defense, "That's the job I signed up for." Later, he remind her that DAYS "pays for this house" so she should cool it with the insecurity. To top it off, one of their kids asks, "Why is Ben's mommy (Alison Sweeney) in bed with daddy?" The way the show had been going I almost expected Jenna to say, "Because your mommy just isn't good enough!"


NADIA and BRANDON
On the flip side, if there is a prom king and queen of Dirty Soap, it's Brandon and Nadia. They're so gosh darn supportive of each other that I forgot to hate them for being so beautiful. At one point, Brandon jumped in line with the red carpet photographers to take a picture of Nadia with his cell phone because "she looks so great!" All together now…awww!!!!

He's on the Bold and the Beautiful. She's just leaving DAYS. So, most of the episode focused on Nadia's final days on DAYS, complete with farewell party. It's clear that Brandon and I are not the only ones enamored with the beauty. Coworkers lined up to say nice things about her, which included declarations that her new movie will be a success. I sincerely hope so because I just fell in love with her as she's leaving my soap. Dang!


FARAH and JP
The two stared on One Life to Live as a happy couple, but they don't seem to be as happy off screen. Perhaps if Farah can whip up a long-lost kid they had when they were teenagers, they'd be set. Anyway, they didn't get much screen time on Dirty Soap, but in the time they did JP did a perfect impression of a guy perfecting his passive-aggressive streak. It was almost like he literally did not want to move to L.A., and was expressing it by finding something wrong with every place they toured. My guess is that they could have toured Bill Gates' house and JP would have wondered, "What's with all the piles of money? Umm, fire hazard, much?!"


RANDOM TRIVIA and SOAP SECRETS
Nadia's father died when she was 12 but just one look at the pictures of her parents proves where Nadia got her stunning looks.

Nadia was not excited about her character's turn as a hooker. That makes all of us.

Had OLTL not ended its network run, Farah would have played Gigi's evil twin sister. Here's hoping she would have kicked Stacey's trampy butt.

The soap scripts really do come by courier to the stars.

Kirsten and Kelly's hair takes a long time and a team of talented people to get that "I just naturally look like this" look. This makes me feel relief beyond all belief.

Brandon makes a mean eggs Florentine.

Jenna's mom thinks that Jenna should have been cast as Sami. Blasphemy! But, I'll give mom a pass. How can you not love a mom that supportive?

Galen has the most adorable lab ever.


That's all for this week. Granted, I was pre-destined to love this show, but not all are like me. Still, I think that if anyone tunes in, they'll meet a delightfully layered cast with storylines worth watching, even if they happen to happen outside of Llanview, Port Charles, Salem, and, umm, L.A. (Get it? Because BB and Dirty Soap are set in L.A.?) What are you looking forward to? Any stars that you'd like to see? And, just how do those gals look so good without makeup?

I'd love to hear what you think so click here to share your thoughts with me!

Happy viewing,
Laurisa



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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com/soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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