Get over it!

Worry and grief permeated The Young and the Restless, with returns from the dead and not-quite-dead-but-still-gone peppered in for fun. Join our columnist as we look at the good, the bad, and the brutal in this week's Two Scoops.

There were some really touching moments at Delia's tombstone. Billy is grieving his child, and he sure doesn't want Adam going there and doing it. Chloe is grieving her child, and Adam's semi apology and remorse don't take away that pain. Billy's face when he saw Chloe, rubbed his eyes, and saw her again was amazing. Utter shock and disbelief that he wasn't seeing a ghost (although he would likely have been as shocked if he had seen a ghost, honestly).

Adam admitted to feeling something, seeing the dog run off, and not looking further, wondering if Delia might have lived if he'd done something differently. Of course, he didn't, so we'll never know. Soaps kill off kids way more than we lose kids in real life (and we never want to lose kids anywhere), which is awful. Sometimes people move on like the kids never were there. Other times, like here, the parents mourn. They mourn forever. It's not all day, every day (hello, Hope, on the The Bold and the Beautiful), but the pain doesn't go away.

Nobody is faulting Billy and Chloe (those who know she's alive) for grieving their child. Billy clearly still feels pain, but he seems to have moved on better than Chloe. However. Devon, who lost his wife and happily anticipated child less than a year ago? Oh, he's not supposed to grieve. It was so very uncomfortable to see Ana and Nate pushing him to get over it. Did he respond out of character to a video? Probably. To the sale of Neil's condo? Well, no, probably not. First, it was awfully fast, and Nate didn't give it a lot of thought. Second, it was to Adam, and... well, we know Adam. I wouldn't want him as a neighbor, either.

Other people's pain makes us uncomfortable. If someone is laughing and joking and having a great time, we're grateful to be in their presence and absorb some of that fun. If someone is anxious, maybe we say, "Dude, don't worry, it'll be fine," and then we walk away. If someone is crying, we turn around and pretend we don't see them so we don't have to talk about it because we're uncomfortable. We tell them, "There, there, it's fine." Or we say, "Big girls don't cry" or "Don't be a baby" (great-aunt to a nine-year-old me at my only surviving grandfather's funeral). And we learn not to show emotions that make others uncomfortable at a very young age. And if we're males (which I'm admittedly not), we learn even more that the only feelings we're allowed to show are anger and happiness, because anything else isn't "manly."

Of course, I'm more comfortable engaging people in those feelings because I know that acknowledging them brings us healing, it helps us find a sense of wholeness when something about us is broken. Billy and Chloe are broken because they lost a child, and parents never fully get over that. Devon is broken, because he lost his father, the love of his life, and his unborn child. And nobody wants him to be broken anymore. Pack her stuff up, don't wait for her to come in the door, it's making you uncomfortable, pop a pill, get over it already.

I want to go on the record and say that Devon is absolutely right to continue to mourn. Nobody can tell him the right way or the wrong way or when he should feel what. Grief comes as it will, and anniversaries are bound to be horrible, and we don't even know all those anniversaries. Did we see him mourn at Father's Day, both for Neil and for himself because he didn't get to be a dad? No, we didn't. He held it together. Did we see him mourn on Mother's Day because he didn't get to bring Hilary breakfast in bed and shower her with gifts? No, we didn't see that, either. He held it together.

But does he have to hold it together all the time? Does he have to put away all the pictures and the videos and the mementos and keepsakes because his pain makes others uncomfortable? Not until he's ready and not until he chooses. Does it make Elena uncomfortable? Absolutely. It should. But I don't think he's really ready to date her, not emotionally. Perhaps she is the right person, but maybe the timing isn't right. I did not enjoy watching Nate and Ana gang up on Devon and tell him he should move along. Because he is not in any way far enough removed from his grief to warrant major concern for him feeling grief.

A bit of wisdom I've learned over the years: when someone has lost a loved one, most of the time, they want to talk about that person. You asking isn't going to remind them, because they haven't forgotten. They don't ever forget. They rarely go a day without remembering. They want to know that that person they loved is still remembered, that someone else loved them, that someone else recognizes that it hurts to lose someone.

But Ana and Nate could lighten up a little. Devon may have some panic attacks. They'll pass. They don't last for days or even hours. He may see Hilary, which could be a concern, but I've looked for where my dog used to sleep when I came in the door, and for a moment I saw him before I remembered he wasn't ever going to be there again. Perhaps a part of my brain wanted to hold onto him, and I know a part of his brain wants to hold onto her. If he doesn't conjure up images of her, he might be afraid of losing her memory. Is Ana right that those memories live in him? Yes. But is he ready to let go of the physical evidence yet? No.

There was some concern that Devon stopped taking his medication. While it can help with depression or anxiety, one thing I know about medication is that it doesn't make bad stuff go away. Medicine or not, Hilary is dead, Neil is dead, his unborn baby is dead, and Devon will and should mourn them. If he has a legitimate mental illness, yes, medication is warranted, but I don't think he had depression before the major losses. I won't fault him for stopping medication that made him feel not right.

However, I think at this point, as much as we may love Mishael Morgan, it is time for her to stop showing up. While she may have left the show because she didn't like the show's leadership or direction, or to pursue other avenues, her character is dead, and she wouldn't work as anyone else. And I just don't think we can see another person come back from the dead. She has likely not been preserved in a boathouse and kept in a coma and tended to by a slightly unhinged doctor.

Because I have a little to say about a lot of things this week, I've just put in my thoughts here in random order.

Cane/Traci:

I'm relieved that Traci finished her book. She and Cane are... caught up in some kind of transference/countertransference thing, and while they have a cute new relationship vibe when they talk, I don't see this as a real relationship in the making. He's caught up in her enthusiasm for her book and grateful for the listening ear she provided. She's charmed by him physically (and I'm sure the accent doesn't hurt), and I think part of her is excited by the character she created whose roots are in Cane. But is that a couple? Not really.

I hope this doesn't really go anywhere other than them being good friends and supports for each other. It won't be a real relationship unless he introduces her to Sam, who is missing in action. Cane is all over the place, visiting with everyone, even kind of making peace with Billy, at all hours, listening to Traci read her full-length novel to him. My friend Luke, who watches with me, said, "Full-length novel that takes ten minutes to read." Cane can't be spending much time with poor little Sam. (Or is he a teenager now?)

Phyllis/Adam:

Should Phyllis be CEO of Dark Horse? She admits she knows nothing about real estate, but she does want revenge on Jabot (I suspect the Abbotts are right to be worried about the Jabotiques). He's manipulating people all over the place. Is he bribing her for her silence over whatever went down between him and Chance Chancellor? Oh, I think he is.

But on another note, how did Phyllis get into Adam's condo? Is security that lax in the building? Are his locks that insecure? He's got a lot of secrets. He should be beefing up his security.

Are we ready to see Chance return? I am, but I do wonder what's going on between him and Adam. Surely Chance knew who Adam was, even if Adam was in the dark. (And was he, really? I still wonder.)

The previews make it look like Phyllis has figured out who her kidnapper was. Which means Adam loses a bit of his hold over Kevin. This is good, but I'm not sure Kevin should leave. And part of me thinks Chloe will return, but I have no reason to believe that. It just feels weird for her to leave and Kevin to stay, unless he really is only here for a short story arc.

I notice Michelle Stafford is playing Phyllis as slightly more unhinged and less angry than Gina Tognoni did. She got way into Kevin's personal space when talking with him. She acts as if she's magnanimous when talking with Jack and Lauren. She isn't playing a nice person, but she is entertaining.

Nick/Victor:

I like that Victor and Nick have made amends. When Victor said, "Forgive me for the times I wasn't a good father," I absolutely believed him. Maybe I'm wrong, but I felt there was growth for Victor in that moment of vulnerability (admittedly brought on by his serious diagnosis). And for him and Nick to both acknowledge that they've always loved each other was good. Nick had already forgiven his father.

Is there hurt between them? Absolutely. But even in the worst moments, they've put aside their feuds because family was first. Whenever Victor is in the hospital, the worried and loving Nick is at his bedside. Such a complicated relationship, and it almost became clearer that Nick just wants to be himself -- but being himself doesn't mean he isn't Victor's son or that he doesn't love Victor. It just means he wants to be his own man, like Victor is.

It did lead to one of the best exchanges of the week, though:Nick: If I had a nickel for every time you said you were wrong...Victor: You'd have five cents.

I have concern that Victor is making amends as a way to put his affairs in order. His words say he's in charge of the disease, but I do think he's scared, and rightfully so. He may live, but with diminished mental capacity, who knows how he might turn out. He could be more endearing, like Harrison Ford's character was in Regarding Henry after he was shot in a robbery. But he might not. Treatment should get Eric Braeden off-screen for a nice summer break, though. And playing diminished capacity might be a fun change for him (as long as it's not forever). He could use a nicening up.

Nick/Adam:

Using Chloe for blackmail, Adam got Kevin to pay, providing video footage that could be damaging to Nick's custody case, although Nick claims to not be so worried.

I do not think Christian should go to Adam. I've felt this all along. I find it hard to imagine a judge would award the child to Adam. There was a reason he changed the DNA test -- and I do wonder if two people changed it to make it come out "right," and if perhaps Nick is really the father. That would be the best-case scenario, as far as I'm concerned.

A part of me thinks that Adam wants Christian as a possession or as a sign that he won. I'm not sure he has love for the boy. If he did, he would see that Nick has a lot of love for him, and Nick has been devoted to the child. He even got Victor to play dinosaurs with them, which was a little bit adorable.

When Chelsea broke up Adam and Nick before they fought, I thought that was a perfect cliffhanger. Nobody goes to jail for fighting, and Chelsea is back. Chelsea and Chloe in the same week? Kevin? It's like Old Home Days in Genoa City. It doesn't look like Chelsea came back to give Adam another chance, based on the previews.

Billy:

Billy is grieving Delia, yet he is focusing more on blaming Adam than acknowledging his own culpability in the tragedy. Unfortunately, I do see on the news periodically about a child who is injured while left in a car (especially when the car is left on or the keys are in it, or worse, when a parent forgets a small child in a car seat on a hot day). Someone could take a child, a child could leave (like Delia did), any number of bad things could happen. If he had taken her in and let her pick ice cream, none of this would be happening. Not that it's all his fault, and honestly, not that it's 100% Adam's (we can't see a kid in the dark) -- other than the cover-up, which is Adam's biggest sin in the situation. It's just not 100% Adam's fault. Billy was a factor. And I'm sure thinking of that hurts him a bit too much.

Readers don't disagree, as evidenced by this comment:

I did love that Billy is wise enough to have known immediately that Chloe was the one who shot Adam. I didn't. I didn't love that he pulled out a gun. Will shooting Adam make Billy feel better? No. No, it won't. In fact, if he kills Adam, the only surviving person he can blame for Delia's death is himself. And I do not feel he truly is a killer, so the guilt would not go well for him.

Wedding Planning:

My Spidey senses are tingling. I do not think Theo means well by Kyle for the bachelor party. At all. I think it will throw a wrench in the relationship between Kyle and Lola; even if Lola understands, I doubt her mother will.

And how about her mother? Disapproving of the lingerie, while she was "joking," did not really look like she was joking. I suspect this is a seriously complicated relationship. Also, why does Rey not know his mother's in town? Also, his mother doesn't look old enough to be his mother. Lola's? Sure. But not Rey's. Speaking of Rey, he looked so much better clean-shaven this week.

I loved that Lola allowed Summer to stay at the reception and that Summer was gracious toward Lola. It really is a pity Kyle is between them, because if any woman on the show could be Summer's friend, it's Lola. None of the others give her much of a chance, which doesn't help her grow to be a bigger person. I do like the friends who gathered for Lola, though. I just wish Summer could have a couple friends and grow up a little and move out of her mother's shadow. She knows Mom is in the wrong but doesn't know what to do with that. Jack and her father are her strongest supports right now (I don't think Theo is a support at all).

Esther:

Billy and Chloe and Devon mourned the loss of children, but Esther was able to celebrate that her beloved Katie was alive. The scenes when she heard Chloe, then saw her, then when Chloe wiped her tears... so much feeling there. And it was very well acted. At least someone had a little joy this week.

Sharon:

Sharon is way too defensive about Adam. She's a little too interested. That's all I have to say about that. It makes her too sexually aggressive with Rey. I feel like she is regressing.

Billy to Jack, questioning the contents of Phyllis' gift basket: Seasonal fruit and plastic explosives?

Kevin to Chloe: I swear to you on a stack of comic books. First editions.

Sharon to Phyllis: Congratulations on once again planting your ladder of success in someone else's back.

As I said at the beginning, it was a tough week.

Until we meet again, happy viewing! I don't know what's coming, but I'll be right here watching with you.Christine

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