Boo -- who am I?

Jack was boo-hooing about finding his birth father while a mysterious stranger used J.T.'s credit card, effectively shouting, "Boo! Who am I?" at Victor and Victoria, who was rightfully frightened. Don't get scared! Get the lowdown in this week's Two Scoops.

No one embodies the concept of entitlement better than Jack Abbott. Even when I feel sorry for him, like now when he has legitimate reasons for finding his biological father, I want to root against him because of his boo-hoo, sniveling attitude. Jack had lots of good reasons for thinking that Phillip Chancellor might be his father, but barging in on a family lunch and demanding a DNA test on the dearly departed was not the way to go about it, at least in my opinion.

Surely there are less invasive ways to get the answers Jack wants than digging up the dearly departed. For instance, isn't there anything still available that has Phillip's DNA on it -- a letter to Jill sealed with Phillip's saliva, a lock of Phillip's hair, or other mementos stored in the Chancellor attic, perhaps?

And what about a hairbrush or toothbrush left behind when Phillip the second and Chance, or Chase or whatever the unseen junior Chancellor is called, went off the grid? Surely, they had a home somewhere, presumably filled with items containing DNA that Jack could use for a comparison test.

I don't for a second think that Phillip Chancellor is actually Jack's father. It's too soon in the story, and Jack is way too confident in Dina's selective memory. I've noticed that whenever Jack gets confident and cocky, he is headed for a disappointment and this looks like one of those times. That said, I'm all for Jack finding his biological father, no matter who that turns out to be. I would want the same for any person in a similar situation.

It is very surprising to me that anyone would feel different, much less adamantly stand in the way as Cane and Jill are doing to Jack. I would think that the sooner Jack's paternity is discovered, the better for everyone involved. If there is absolutely no other way than an exhumation, then it seems to me that it should be done quickly and quietly on the Chancellor estate out of sight of prying eyes. A long, drawn-out court battle is sure to draw unwanted attention and guarantee a media circus.

Jill, of all people, should want a quick resolution, and you'd think she'd want to know if Jack is the son of her first great love. Greed, it appears, trumps everything else. Just look at Cane. His first thought was that Jack wants Cane's job. Cane would rather see Jack left in limbo about his parentage than risk his own position at Chancellor. Which, incidentally, I don't understand; even if Jack is Phillip's son, he's not entitled to anything from Katherine's estate because he would not be related to Katherine.

I know that Cane has a lot of fans, but I am totally put off by his selfish attitude. As a husband and father, Cane is exemplary - well, except for that drunken slip with Juliet in Tokyo. He's the perfect patriarch, but he is a lousy friend. Both he and Devon should want to know the truth, rather than trying to deny it.

Cane and Devon are the perfect metaphor for what I believe is an increasing problem in our society; we believe that truth is "bad" and that by denying the truth, we can change it. We can't; truth is a constant, neither good nor bad. It just is. By accepting the truth as universal, we have a reference point, which I believe is where all healthy dialogue begins. If Cane, Devon, and Jack had all accepted the truth -- that Jack deserved answers and there was at least a possibility that Phillip Chancellor could be Jack's father -- then they could have worked together to find the quickest, most confidential way to get the answer. Instead, Jack went to court and made media fodder out of his search.

It was gratifying to see Devon finally call Lily and Cane out about their attitude and snarky comments to Hilary. They were properly chastised. I read that Mishael Morgan has taped her last scenes as Hilary. I'm curious about how she will be written out. I'm hoping she goes away for a while and comes back a new person. I'm not ready to lose the character.

Ashley had some harsh words for Jack when she told him that instead of worrying about not being a real Abbott, he should worry about not being a real human being. That was good advice from another character that I will miss when Eileen Davidson departs the role of Ashley Abbott later this year. I kept waiting for a really powerful "Ashley, the corporate mogul" story, but it never came. There were lots of teases: Ravi and forbidden workplace romance, Jabot CEO, Newman COO, framed for murder by Grant, etc., but all promising beginnings ended before they left the starting gate.

And now on to the horror movie send-up, "Boo! Who Am I?", a.k.a. "Has J.T. returned from the dead?" I don't know what you thought, but I say that blurry picture looked an awful lot like J.T. Has Y&R played the "return from the dead" card yet again? I hope not, but if they have, it will give four of our actresses something to do besides take off their clothes and be decorative. How J.T. could have survived without oxygen to his brain or a heartbeat for more than 20 minutes would be a medical miracle, so I hope that if J.T. did survive, he will get the recognition he deserves while he serves his sentence for attempted murder.

Cynical me wonders if J.T.'s appearance is some kind of elaborate hoax cooked up by Paul and Christine --or possibly Mac -- to get the truth from Victoria. That sounds far-fetched, even to me, but after all, as my old granny used to say, 'It's only a soap!" LOL

I am still chafing about Victor getting custody of Christian, especially now that I know that he has some serious, as yet unexplained, medical condition that is causing him to drop things and lose concentration. Sounds like a brain tumor or that condition that NFL players get when they have too many concussions. We'll find out next week when Victor's new doctor arrives in town.

I still don't understand Summer or Y&R's tired rehash of daughter deliberately wrecking mom's relationship by relentlessly throwing herself at mother's boyfriend until boyfriend succumbs to daughter's nubile charms. Spare me. This is stereotypical drivel from 40 years ago. I didn't believe that men were helpless victims then, and I don't believe it now.

And I definitely think that by 2018, most young women have too much self-esteem to throw themselves at their mothers' boyfriends. I suspect that most want men nearer their own age -- and love their moms too much to hurt them that way. I fell in love with soaps because they were an unusual blend of realism and high camp. Right now, Y&R is neither. It's warmed-over pablum.

About that high-stakes poker game at the Athletic Club -- are you telling me that Summer knows about the game, but neither Devon, the owner, nor his building security does? Hmm.

Last year's summer teen romance starred Mattie and Reed; this year, it is Charlie and Shauna -- different couple, same snooze fest. I still say, "Cane and Lily are too young to have teenage children!" I have to defy logic to accept the Ashbys as a family unit.

Blondie Cat and Dolly Dog are insisting, "Time to stop working and take us outdoors and start playing. Don't forget that we are young and restless and have only one life to live." I can't argue with that!

Thanks again for letting me share my thoughts with you. As always, fellow fans, I welcome feedback about this column in the section provided below. I enjoy all your comments, even when you don't agree with me. Please return in two weeks for another edition of Two Scoops.

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