Secret, secret, who's got a secret?

Despite attempts to the contrary, Crown Prince Nick, Queen Nikki, and Princess Victoria convinced King Victor's archenemy that all was not well within the Newman stronghold. Hear ye, hear ye, as secrets begin and end in this week's Two Scoops.

It seems like the only time it's possible to keep a secret on The Young and the Restless is when it's a secret that anyone with common sense ought to be able to figure out -- for instance, it had to be Chloe who was in league with Victor to frame Adam. That said, it seems really hypocritical of Nick, Nikki, and Victoria to be willing to keep Victor's secret yet unwilling to stand by him, which, although self-serving, would be understandable, considering that Victor has done an extremely good job of providing for his family over the years. Since Nikki, Nick, and Victoria aren't supporting Victor, then surely, having the truth come out about Victor's involvement in Adam's escape and subsequent death -- and thus Nikki's complicity -- would be a small price to pay for justice and closure.

I have no desire to see Victor sent back to jail, but I'm confident that the writers can get Victor off on some kind of technicality -- and Nikki, too. Meanwhile, Nikki and her brood could hardly be doing a worse job at convincing, Jack, Billy, Scott, etc., that everything is normal with the Newmans. Nikki might as well have sent up a flare as to have written that enormous check to Scott, who obviously has too much integrity -- not to mention a wealthy family of his own -- to give up a story that someone -- especially someone close to Victor -- wants to quash. I did get a good chuckle when Nikki said to Scott, "Victor may rule the world, but I control this family!"

That seemed to imply that Nikki has never been a victim to Victor, but a willing participant, deliberately closing her eyes to what she didn't want to know, while controlling the ground rules of family life -- rules that allow her to be appropriately indignant and punitive to Victor until the crisis has passed and then, ultimately forgiving him before the pattern begins again. The same seems to hold true for Nick and Victoria and their relationships.

Victoria has finally succeeded in pushing Billy into Phyllis' arms. I'm all for that. Billy and Victoria may be meant for each other somewhere down the road, but I find them very boring at the moment. We've been over and over this same ground, and it always turns out the same. Victoria channels her inner Victor and pushes Billy away, then she draws him back in again, like he's a comfortable loafer she can slip on when her big girl shoes hurt her feet. As long as Billy agrees with her, things are fine, but if he doesn't, Victoria is quick to point out that she's the boss.

Rant Alert: Did anyone else think that green and blue number -- sans jacket -- that Victoria was wearing on Thursday was as hideous and ill-fitting as I did? Not only did I find the color combination jarring, but also, when she bent over the credenza, the dress was so tight that I swear she didn't have on underwear. The outline of her legs and buttocks was so pronounced that she might as well have been nude. I'm surprised Victoria could sit down without popping a stitch. Could someone please explain why clothes can't be fashionable, flattering, and comfortable at the same time? Is showcasing someone's butt crack a new fashion trend? If so, I'm gladly out of that loop! Rant over!

Nick is not proving to be very good at keeping his animosity toward Victor secret, either. It surely won't be long before Jack sniffs out what's going on. Nick is certainly a chip off the old Nikki block, though. He blows up, declares he's done, huffs and puffs with righteous indignation, and then, poof, six months pass, and all is forgiven. Look at what just happened with Sharon. At Christmas, she was the scourge of Nick's earth; now, all is forgiven, and it's as though Christian/Sully never existed. Somehow, I suspect all will be forgiven with Victor, eventually, also. Nick didn't have much use for Adam when he was alive. That seems to have changed now that Adam is presumed dead. Will Nick feel the same if Adam somehow managed to escape the fiery explosion and eventually makes his way home to reclaim Chelsea, Connor, and Christian?

Looks like we're headed to the teen version of Fatal Attraction, with Reed, Kendall, and Zoey, while the adult version plays out with Cane, Juliet, and Lily. Cane's another one who is a terrible secret keeper. He really ought to tell Lily before Juliet spills or Jordon figures it out. Now that Cane and Lily's kids have been aged, they don't have to stay together for "the sake of the children," so both could dip their toes back into the Genoa City dating pool. I've enjoyed the story of a young couple with a solid relationship, but all things must pass, as the saying goes, and besides, I'm sure that Cane and Lily will get over whatever bump in the road is ahead for them. It might even be Juliet who gets bumped when the truth comes out!

Poor Reed. His secret will also end badly. He ought to tell Zoey, but he won't. Zoey won't find the text message on her -- unbelievably -- non-password-protected phone, either, so Kendall will worm her way in. Victoria doesn't like Zoey and will be fooled by Kendall, who obviously suffers from low self-esteem. How else could you explain going after a guy who is obviously so into your best friend that the only way you can have him is through trickery, and the only way you can hold him is with constant deceit? Surely there's a better story to be told here than one that implies that female friendships have less value than a relationship with a man. Kendall's behavior is not okay, and neither is this story so far.

I am glad to see that Phyllis and Billy are reuniting. I like them as a couple right now. What the future holds may be different, but at the moment, they seem to complement each other. Both can be themselves and confide in each other. Personally, I believe that an intimate relationship needs honesty and trust to survive the long haul. If Victoria cannot feel free to trust Billy with the family secret, then they will never be really comfortable together. Much like a smoker who pretends not to smoke around a non-smoker so has to constantly make up phony-baloney excuses to go out for a nicotine fix, Victoria will be constantly making up excuses instead of telling the truth.

Will Billy and Phyllis go public this time? I hope so. That ought to set the gossips wagging their tongues in Genoa City, not to mention all the trouble it could stir up from Jack and Victoria and the havoc it could bring to the workplace. And when Jill gets back to town...

The Friday previews indicate that Billy and Kevin will receive a letter from Chloe detailing Bella's paternity. About darn-tootin' time! If Bella is Billy's, that could put a real spanner in the works with Phyllis. On the other hand, I think I'm still rooting for Kevin to be Bella's dad, despite a previous paternity test, which we know can be very easily faked on soaps! Kevin's a great dad, and Bella would help him get over Chloe and perhaps move on to someone who could love him as much as he loves them -- that certainly wasn't true of crazy Chloe.

Was it just me, or did anyone else find it strange, that Christine has not been in touch with her nephew, and only living blood relative, Scott, since his return from the Middle East? I now have the same question that one of the commenters had after Christine was involved in Dylan's undercover fiasco: how does a local DA get involved in national, and now international, security? From Scott and Christine's conversation, it sounds like Scott, who was understandably upset that he had to be rescued by Victor instead of his employers, was spying for the government. It seems that Christine wants help with another project that will probably require total secrecy and a pinky swear from Scott to keep Paul in the dark.

That will eventually damage Scott's growing relationship with Sharon, who thinks that she has finally found an honest man but obviously has not read the tale of Diogenes and his search! I suspect that Sharon is just the first of many lovely Genoa City ladies to fill Scott's dance card. Scott does seem to be attracted to Sharon, but he was hot with Phyllis, also, and I doubt that those two have had their last waltz. I have no doubt that when Phyllis and Billy burn out, Scott will be waiting in the wings! I could see Scott with Mariah, Hilary, Victoria, Juliet, Lily, and Abby, too. I would add Tessa, but she's shaping up to be a bad girl and may not last that long.

Ravi and Ashley kissed. Was it the moment we've all been waiting for, or was it anticlimactic? I'm still torn. I really can't seem to leap the age difference. To paraphrase a recent commenter, it's not so much the age difference as the life experience gap. I agree with that, not to mention that Ashley is Ravi's employer. When sexual harassment is mentioned, we usually think of powerful men, but the law applies equally to women in positions of power. And while Ashley has not used her position to make unwanted approaches to Ravi, an intimate relationship between them could be easily misinterpreted, and should they ever break up, Ravi would have grounds for a lawsuit.

A relationship between Ravi and Ashley is ephemeral at best and impractical at worst. They might be able to survive as friends, but it seems to me that rather than courting Ashley, Ravi would be better off consulting a shrink about his "mommie" issues and trying to find a woman nearer his own age and life experience. Ashley is still a beautiful woman, but her age shows. She was glaringly out of place with Ravi and his college friends.

I see no reason that Ravi and Ashley should not continue to enjoy the occasional opera together, but a romantic liaison? They're twice as far apart in age as Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, and look how that turned out. I don't know if I'm a pessimist or a prude, but I have no hope for Ashley and Ravi, so if they get together, I'm afraid I'll have to close my eyes and fast-forward!

Hear ye! Hear ye! Yet to come on GC Buzz: Neil got a job, Devon found a career, Mariah had suspicions about Tessa, Faith moved home with her parents, and Victor took a leave of absence, if not his senses.

Please join me in two weeks for the next Soap-aholics meeting at the Top of the Tower. Nikki Newman will read from her soon-to-be published book, Control the Family, Control the World! and Nick Newman will debut his video, Dads Gone Wild. As always, we welcome imaginary friends and reader comments.

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