Fractured fairy tale

Jack and Jill went up the hill to make a deal for Fenmore's. Jack lost ground and fooled around while Colin stole dough and Jill had a heart attack after. Hear ye, hear ye! Read all about it in this week's Two Scoops.

It was a tough week for a lot of the folks in Genoa City. In my opinion, Jack has hit rock bottom. I can accept that he got drunk and had sex with Gloria once, but a second time on Valentine's Day?? That's way too much information for me. There is something that just seems wrong about sleeping with your step-mommie dearest. I know that Jack has also slept with Jill, but somehow, I'm not as repulsed by that as with Gloria, though I have to say this twist is making a very good story, especially now that Michael knows. I've been glued to the screen. It's kind of like watching a train wreck, but I can't turn away! I've been getting up early -- for me -- to watch in real time -- 11:00 a.m. where I am -- because I can't wait to see what is going to happen. I've even been wishing that I understood tweeting so that I could join in whatever conversation is going on in real time.

Now that Michael has spotted Gloria and Jack, I don't think that it will be long before all of Genoa City knows about their affair. Will they end up as the subject of a GC Buzz feed? I certainly hope so. Gloria is a hilarious disaster waiting to happen, and the word "venal" is inadequate to describe her. Despite her greedy grasping, Gloria brings some much-needed humor, and I love how droll and haughty she can be. Gloria can fracture any fairy tale, and right now, I think Jack is more Prince Smarmy that Prince Charming -- all thanks to Gloria, the femme fatale!

Despite loving to hate Jill, I've had her experience, and I felt really sorry for her when Colin stole all her money and it broke her heart -- literally. I've had a similar experience: a very long time ago, a man I trusted "borrowed" a substantial sum and failed to repay it. I didn't have a heart attack, but I sure was depressed for a while. It wasn't my entire life savings, like Jill, but it was more than I wanted to lose. However, I did bounce back quickly, and I am confident that Jill will, too.

I do hope that Jill and Lauren make peace and that Jill does not pursue her vendetta. I believe that positivity is much better than negativity, and I hope that Jill and Lauren renew their sisterly bond. Both of them are facing major crises at the moment. It would be a lot better if they were in each other's corner instead of at each other's throats.

I'm glad that Jill's underhanded attempt to gain control of Fenmore's has been exposed to Michael. I don't know what Lauren and Michael can do to stop her. They're going to have plenty of trouble just trying to raise the ransom demanded for Scott. Lauren may have to sell all of her Fenmore's shares to Jack. I certainly hope not, but I am so happy to see Lauren and Michael have a story that does not include adultery that I can live with Lauren losing everything -- especially if she does so to save her son.

In the comments section, one writer noted that Ashley was old enough to be Ravi's grandmother and felt the storyline was very unrealistic. I agree, though I don't think Ashley is old enough to be Ravi's grandmother. However, she is certainly old enough to be his mother. To me, it seems that a woman like Ashley, who had an on-again, off-again relationship with Victor Newman that spanned 20 years or so, would quickly tire of any man as young and insecure as Ravi, despite his crushing adoration.

Personally, I think Ashley and Dr. Ben Rayburn made a much hotter couple than Ben and Abby, or that Ravi and Ashley could ever hope to be. I wish that Ashley and Ben had gotten married and raised Max instead of Max morphing into a psychopath. Ashley and Ben could be happily married now, and both could have successful careers. That way, we could still see Dr. Ben around the hospital every so often and at Abbott family parties. Alas, both Abby and Ashley are "Stitchless," and so are we.

Abby is proving to be very competent at Newman, but I wonder when -- not if -- Victor will get bored at home and feel the need to control the boardroom again. I don't know how long it will be until the Victator is back in the fray, but surely he smells the blood and has started to salivate at the opportunities for takeovers that are looming on the horizon. I don't think that the Mustache is done in the business world yet.

Mystery novels are my favorites, and I watch all the women TV detective movies on the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel. So, when I read on Soap Central that Eileen Davison would be starring in and producing a movie based on one of the books -- Dial Emmy for Murder -- that she wrote several years ago, I was excited! I wanted to run right out and get her books. I am definitely going to mark my calendar and make sure that I see the movie. Eileen would make a terrific TV sleuth, and I wish her very well on this project. I also love her on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's my favorite, followed by Erika Girardi and Lisa Rinna, all three of whom seem to be very straightforward and unpretentious -- at least as far as rich, glamorous people can be! I admire Eileen's energy, and I hope to see Ashley in Genoa City for a long time to come.

Wasn't it great seeing Katherine Chancellor again, even if it was only in Jill's dreams? Katherine always had a way of setting Jill straight, and she did it again in Jill's direst moments. Jill remembered Katherine's warnings about Colin. Jill's remembrances contained some very sparkling dialogue between Jill and Katherine. It reminded me of what powerhouse actresses they were together. Jill continued to impress me as she spoke to Katherine's portrait and reminded Katherine that they had agreed to "Live, live, live, 'til I die," and that was exactly what Jill intended to do. I definitely could identify with that because I feel exactly the same way. I also loved the conversation about princes and kissing frogs and Jill's woeful understanding that she had come to prefer kissing one particular frog rather than finding a prince. I could identify with that, too!

Last time, I asked for some feedback about typical teens and discipline from actual parents, and I got insightful comments from Denise, which sounded sane and sensible, so it's probably a good thing that I'm not a parent. I agreed with Denise's assessment of Reed's disrespectful behavior when he brought that girl home and used Victoria's credit card for porn. Last week, however, I was in total disagreement with Victoria about how to handle Reed and Open Mic/Karaoke Night at the Underground. It would be one thing if Reed were performing late and alone in a sleazy dive somewhere, but a five- or ten-minute segment at an establishment that his uncle owns and his cousin manages and that his mother could chaperon is a different matter entirely. Supporting Reed would be a wonderful way for Victoria to bond with her son and gain some insight into what he feels and thinks. He could do his guitar thing and still be tucked in bed by ten on a school night.

In my younger days, I used to do poetry and performance art at open mic nights in coffee shops and art galleries. If you didn't get on stage before 10:00 p.m., there was nobody left to listen, because they had all left for greener pastures by then. I think Noah could manage the schedule so that Reed was home early and still got maximum exposure. I say, "Lighten up, Victoria, and let your kid have the spotlight!" Same goes for work: "Don't become the 'Victoria-tator' and get so controlling that you miss something important."

Speaking of Noah, it's nice to have him back, but his breakup with Marisa sure came out of the blue -- though it doesn't bother me that he's single again. Noah risked so much to be with Marisa that it seems odd that they would break up without anyone in his family even suspecting that anything was wrong. I guess Marisa didn't attend any Newman family parties or holidays, and neither did Noah. Oh, well, enough nitpicking. I didn't like Marisa with Noah -- she was too old and experienced -- and I am glad that he's back. I'm also glad that Sharon confided in him so that she has someone close who knows what really happened with Dylan. Sharon will have more interaction with more people now that she is running Crimson Lights. It's a good move for her, but I'm always amazed at how quickly jobs come and go in Genoa City.

It does look like Nick and Chelsea are headed down the predictable romantic path, and last week showed that both actors have chemistry with each other, which is not surprising, since both are pretty great no matter who their acting partners are. Faith is set to act out, just like she did with Avery. I do hope that this is not a rerun. I don't want a return to the bratty Faith. I like the kind, thoughtful Faith better. I'd much rather see the truth emerge about Christian's paternity, but I'd settle for the story of Bella's paternity -- I'd like one of those kids to know who their biological father is, and soon. We haven't seen much of Chloe or Kevin lately, and I miss them when they are not around.

Love, love, loved the GC Buzz segment with Hilary trying to sabotage Lily, and Cane turning the tables on her. Victoria was flummoxed but certainly recognized the advertising value of Cane's actions and swallowed her pride. Bravo, Victoria. Not so for spoiled, jealous Billy, but he certainly stepped up for his mother, or maybe overstepped, but at least he was thinking about someone other than himself.

Mariah and Hilary are terrific together -- love their patter. I am still rooting for a Mariah and Devon pairing, even though I think it will be hard to top the smoldering relationship that exists between Devon and Hilary. I wasn't sure if that smooch and clinch between Devon and Hilary was real or part of Hilary's imagination. I suppose I could have done a rewind to find out, but sometimes I like surprises. I can hardly wait to see what the week brings to the GC Buzzers.

Until next time, I wish you well, while I wait with bated breath -- or it that baited? Either way, I'm hooked!

(P.S. I think the new Y&R opening is very, very nice. I give it two thumbs up! I'd love to know what you think, so please leave a comment below.)

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