If wishes were horses...

If Billy had wished for a horse, he might have escaped that beating. Victor has horses, so he wished for a quickly rebuilt Newman Towers. Abby and Ashley wished for a spectacular wedding and got it, even though Ashley fainted. Noah wished for Marissa, but his hopes were dashed. Adam told Luca that he wished to betray Victor, but will he? Find out in this week's Two Scoops.

First off, I apologize. As I'm entering my eighth decade, I seem to be getting slower and slower. For instance, I didn't figure out that it was my turn to write Two Scoops until well past time to start, and then I took a thirteen-hour nap and drank two cups of coffee before actually beginning! So bear with me while I binge watch.

I cried through the wedding, like I do at all weddings, and I am still crying. As I write this, I see myself as the character Joan Wilder in Romancing the Stone. She finished typing her manuscript, with copious tears streaming down her cheeks. Later, her dull life changed, and she was off on a grand adventure.

At this stage in my life, the only grand adventure that I want to have is vicariously, on the screen with my favorite intrepid heroes: the characters on The Young and the Restless. So along with my take on last week's episodes, I thought I'd make a few wishes about what I'd like to see happen next year.

Some things are comfortable and predictable, like there is almost always a crisis whenever there is a large gathering in Genoa City. Sometimes it's big, like the fire in Newman Towers, and sometimes it's small, like Ashley fainting at the wedding. I did think that it was remarkable that the entire Newman building was repaired in such a short time. The last time I saw the place -- around Halloween, I think -- it was a burning inferno. It was rebuilt in two months. I should think it would take longer than that just to get the insurance settlement.

So where did Victor get the money to expedite the job if Newman Enterprises is so broke? Surely not from the Santori family. It must have cost many millions in overtime alone to get the offices ready, and even more to get the tower so lavishly refurbished in time for Abby's wedding. I hear you loud and clear, friends. When confronted with this conundrum, I take a deep breath, shake my head in exasperation, like Jack does, and shout out loud, "It's only a soap!"

Okay, so the wedding was really nice, and it was great to have an event that didn't include a cataclysmic disaster, and even though Billy was left bleeding in the parking lot, the happy couple left on their honeymoon without noticing him. Will the couple stay happy? Not a chance in the world! How long have they got? My guess is at least as long as Ashley has a brain tumor and thinks she's going to die.

I assume that Dr. Neville and Ashley will eventually hook up. I have great respect for the acting skills of Michael E. Knight. I watched "Tad the cad" mature and become respected as "Tad Martin." I saw him grow as an actor. The same is true for Eileen Davison as Ashley Abbott. I think that both are seasoned actors who have an incredible range of acting skills, from the comedic to the dramatic. My wish for 2016 is that the on-screen chemistry between Ashley and Dr. Neville is as hot as what they mix up in the lab. By the way, what happened to that super duper perfume that Ashley thought would earn millions? Oh, right, "It's only a soap!"

It won't be long until Ben is singing that old song, "Torn between two lovers..." This is a reverse remake of an OLTL plot where Dorian Lord fell in love with a private eye, and he then left her for the daughter. Eventually, they all got over it and became friends. My 2016 wish for Ben and Abby is that no matter what happens in the future, they will always remain friends because of the happiness they are sharing now. Both are too young to settle down as a couple on a soap. I do think that Ben's son is about to enter the picture. That will further complicate the relationship, especially if Ben's ex arrives with Ben's son.

It was also nice seeing Lauren briefly. I really hope the scribes get some kind of story going for her. Hmm. What story hasn't Lauren done yet? I don't think there are any "damsel in distress" stories left to play. She's been kidnapped, stalked, and almost murdered. She's coped with Michael's health crisis and been unfaithful. Maybe Lauren could have a health problem of her own or perhaps a business situation that gets Lauren and Michael a hot story. My 2016 wish for Michael and Lauren is to see them on-screen more often, not just for coffee at Crimson Lights or drinks at the Underground.

Billy, Billy, Billy! What's going to happen to Billy? I thought that when the bookie said his goon should not have hit Billy in the face, Billy would have to have plastic surgery and would emerge as Jason Thompson, just like Justin Hartley did as Adam. Alas, I appear to be wrong. Other than a bloody nose, I didn't see anything wrong with Billy's face. The previews at the end of the episode showed him in a coma and a body cast. I'm guessing Noah -- in a situation similar to Adam and Delia -- is going to be blamed until Billy wakes up and tells what happened. Now I'm guessing that Billy played by Burgess Jenkins will go off to rehab for a few weeks and return as Billy played by Jason Thompson. I can hardly wait! My 2016 wish for Billy is that Jason Thompson fits the role of Billy as well as Justin Hartley fits Adam.

I do love Adam, and just as I don't think he hit Delia, I don't think he's backstabbing Victor. Surely, Adam realizes that it is always better to stick with family than to be alone or have to depend on others. Despite Victor, Adam's siblings are worth holding onto. Victor loves Adam; he just has a weird way of showing it. I noticed that Adam is calling Victor "Dad;" I like it. My 2016 wish for Victor and Adam is that they bond, become allies, and forge a father-son relationship as Adam integrates his family into the Newman clan.

The clothes at the wedding were yummy, in my opinion. There were several outfits that I would have enjoyed wearing a decade ago. I don't think I've mentioned the wardrobe lately. That's because I hated how most of the women were dressed, and I thought I was losing touch with the younger generation -- anyone under 50! I thought that not only were the cuts kind of weird, but several outfits were unflattering to the actresses who wore them. I remember thinking one time, "Oh, my God, not only don't I like the color on her, but it makes her look fat, which she clearly isn't, so I would look like a blimp." I'm glad that the costume department is back to making the actors look great. My 2016 wish is that they continue the trend of dressing the actresses in clothes that I can still imagine wearing.

I did think Chelsea had a weirdo hairdo. It looked okay from a distance, but up close and personal, my mind went directly to that "Progressive Insurance" ad where Flo gets styled to the extreme, so, I guess by comparison, it wasn't so bad. I just don't want to see it on anyone again! Ever!

In the contrived department, isn't it the father-daughter dance that's traditional, not the son-in-law dance with mother-in-law? How weird is that? Even if the writers wanted an excuse to throw Ashley and Ben together. Couldn't they have had Abby dance with Victor for a moment or two first? Yeah, Yeah. "It's only a soap!"

Phyllis is getting mighty close to Billy. Even though she refers to him as the little brother she never had, I wonder if that will change when Billy is reborn as a new actor. Phyllis and Jack have been together a long time in soap opera years, not counting the coma. I sense a breakup ahead. I know Phyllis has a lot of money of her own. She may be the one to bail Billy out of his troubles. I wouldn't mind seeing that. My wish for Phyllis in 2016 is that she falls into a hot, illicit relationship with Billy.

The Winters clan has problems, but they are working through them. I'm so glad that Neil has calmed down and left his unkind deeds behind. He is trying to make restitution, and he should. My wish for Neil is a story that does not include kidnapping or blackmail. Thumbs-down for me on the Neil-Nikki kiss. I could see them together, but I liked what Victor said about his marriage to Nikki, and I would like to think that both Victor and Nikki will keep their vows. Nikki and Neil make great friends and confidants. My wish for Nikki in 2016 is that she honors her wedding vows and retains her friendship with Neil.

Cane and Lily are in trouble. Their once idyllic family has been shattered by Lily's infidelity. How sad is that? And can they work through it? If I were in Cane's position, I think I would walk away if there were no children. But Cane and Lily have children and do love each other, and this is a soap, so they really can put the past in the past if it's written that way! My 2016 wish for Cane and Lily is that they find their way back to each other, no matter how slow, painful, or tortuous it is. I can handle some tears and heartbreak if they all live happily ever after for a while.

Dr. Anderson is not going to be a happy camper when she finds out that Nick, Faith, and Sage are living happily in the penthouse next to Adam's -- a move that I approve. I hope that it leads to more interaction between Nick and Adam. I wouldn't mind if those two had a storyline also. Having Nick and Sage next door will further complicate things when Sage and Nick finally realize that Christian is alive. I don't think Adam will able to resist claiming his son. My 2016 wish for Adam is that he comes clean with Chelsea and preserves his relationship with her, even as he claims his son.

I can see a lot of ripples in this pond and a lot of ways it could go, including the traditional: when the truth emerges, Chelsea will leave Adam, Nick will leave Sage -- with the help of the devious Dr. Anderson. ... The whole couples changing partners thing is like musical chairs, or a square dance when the caller shouts "dosey-doe." Will poor, deluded Dylan also leave Sharon when then truth is out? Dylan has a lot of heartache ahead. I already hurt knowing that he is going to lose his son to Adam for the second time. How much heartache can one man take before he cracks? I guess we'll find out. My 2016 wish for Dylan is that he finally gets to have a child of his own, even if he has to adopt.

As for Nick, he's had it mostly his way over the years, so it will be interesting to see what happens if he gets dumped. I'm still ticked at him for making promises to Sharon that he did not keep. I hope he treats Sage better, though I think that he will be swayed by Dr. Anderson's deliberately bad advice. My 2016 wish for Nick is that he learns to keep his promises, even if he has to go through some emotional trauma. I say give Joshua Morrow a chance to shine outside his comfort zone. He doesn't have an Emmy yet, does he?

Lastly, I wonder what's ahead for Jack. Peter Bergman has been on board Y&R for a long time. I don't think he is going stale, but he is stuck in a rut. He is the perpetual loser. It would be nice if he could beat someone at something. Victor has a new opponent since the Santori family came to town. Jack has been a total wimp since Victor started picking on him. Way back when, Jack should have exposed Victor and taken his chances. My 2016 wish for Jack is that he grows a spine, becomes the hero and a winner, and that none of us, not even one of us, ever sees Marco, the look-alike drug lord, again.

Last year, some of the stories were more over the top than many of us were used to from Y&R, but it didn't stop me from watching, even if I thought the story was silly. I enjoyed poking fun, so I had something to write about! I look forward to what the show runners have planned for next year, and you can bet I'll be tuning in. My 2016 wish for my readers is that next year's stories thrill you as much as any stories have in the past; I also wish you a Happy New Year filled with joy and happiness. See you in two weeks for coffee at Crimson Lights. Until then, take care.

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