Heroes and Houdinis

As Newman Towers burned, an unholy alliance was formed, talented escape artists were revealed, and an all-too-likely hero emerged to save the day. Who survived the blaze? Read on for the scoop!

Somehow, we managed to make it out of a sweeps disaster without a single death. Oh, sure, Stitch might still die, and Ian, Patty, and Christian are all presumed dead, but we haven't had any actual deaths yet. How did that happen? It's almost as if the Grim Reaper, upon learning that Dylan McAvoy resided in Genoa City, decided, "Nope, not worth the trouble. On to the next town!"

Granted, Genoa City is a pretty special place. Where else can people just escape from prisons, psychiatric wards, and hospitals without being noticed?

I had to suspend disbelief quite a few times this past week. First, Patty just randomly ditched Fairview and showed up at the gala (wearing a cat costume, of course), then Michael somehow helped Adam escape from a guarded hospital room -- after first freeing him from the hospital bed he had been handcuffed to -- and, to cap things off, the fire-starting devil who had been skulking around Newman Towers turned out to be Ian, proving that no one has learned anything from the last few times he managed to escape from prison.

The Ian reveal bothered me most of all. I was really hoping for someone less obvious and, frankly, less lazy. If Ian's going to keep breaking out of prison whenever the writers need him to advance a plot, it would be nice if they could at least show us how he's doing it. The same goes for Patty's escape, and Adam's escape, and any number of other things that have been occurring off-screen lately. Call me crazy, but I'd prefer to see how these things happen instead of just being told after the fact that they happened.

The IT guy who helped create Paragon is still walking around Genoa City as a free man, so making him the arsonist would have been an easier sell -- for me, at least. But then Patty wouldn't have gained a new sidekick, so there's that, I guess. I'm honestly not sure who to pity most in that situation: Patty, for having to put up with Ian, or Ian, for having to put up with Patty. Perhaps I should just pity Phyllis; since Ian and Patty both have their own unique fixations on our favorite redhead, their unholy alliance could spell trouble for her. Because, you know, she hasn't already been through enough this year.

It's too bad that Phyllis wasn't able to just sit back and let Jack fool Patty into thinking he still wanted her, at least long enough for them to all get to safety. Not that I blame her, of course. She has never been very good at sharing, and she's still getting over the last time she had to share Jack with another woman. I was actually kind of surprised that she managed to restrain herself for as long as she did before finally punching Patty. Red's making progress!

But if she had just managed to go along with Jack's ruse for a bit longer, perhaps Patty could have warned Dylan about Dr. Anderson. I mean, Patty will probably still get to Dylan eventually, but it's cruel to make the poor guy wait. We're not even halfway through November sweeps yet, and with the crisis at Newman Towers already coming to an end, he needs a new reason to don his superhero costume and swoop in to save the day. Hopefully he'll be willing to share the spotlight with Nick this time, though, since it is Nick's child who needs to be rescued.

Yes, it seems that even premature infants are pulling disappearing tricks in Genoa City these days. Granted, Christian probably had some help from Dr. Anderson, but that's another thing that happened off-screen, so I couldn't begin to tell you how she did it. I'm looking forward to finding out, though. How does a psychiatrist manage to just waltz into a hospital she doesn't even work at, snatch a baby from NICU, and walk out with him, leaving everyone believing he's dead? This is more of a stretch than the last baby-swap story Sharon was involved in!

I'd also like to know who Dr. Anderson actually is, and why she's doing what she's doing, and how she managed to pass a psych evaluation. Preferably sometime this year (although I don't expect to ever get an answer for that last question). Right now, my best guess is that she's Sandra Allen, the woman who was injured in an accident at the ranch when Nick and Sharon were teenagers. It would make sense, since she was just mentioned a few months ago. Then again, Ashley's true parentage was just mentioned a few months ago, too, and that story went precisely nowhere.

While I'm wishing for answers I'll probably never get, it would be interesting to know what Nick and Sage would have seen if they had chosen to visit their child one last time. But, alas, they conveniently decided that would be too painful. And, of course, it probably would have been. But that decision could come back to haunt them later.

For now, though, it at least provided the writers with a nice opportunity to bring up Eve, the baby Victoria and Cole lost (way back in 1998, which reminds me that Victoria has not only been SORASed but also deSORASed a time or two in the past couple decades). I liked how Victoria remained quiet while everyone else was trying to comfort Nick then sought him out later to provide her own sort of comfort. I think she could also provide some comfort for Sage, so I hope to see that conversation soon.

In the meantime, Sage is in good hands with Nikki, who has been doing a great job of comforting people lately. With Katherine gone, I think Nikki might now be the expert in Genoa City when it comes to giving great pep talks. When she's sober, that is. And she was completely sober when she was praying for Victor in the chapel, so I'm going to hold her to what she said there: no more rides on the break-up-and-make-up merry-go-round for them. They've been down that road more than enough times already. Now that she has realized that (again), she just needs to move back into the ranch (because, unless I missed a quick throwaway remark, she hasn't done that yet), and all will be right with the world.

For them, at least. Other couples aren't faring as well. Noah and Marisa are starting to get pretty good at finding opportunities to have sex in public places, but, unfortunately, they had to learn the hard way that it's vitally important to make sure all possible entrances are locked before getting down to business. I won't be surprised if Luca adds another month to his arrangement with Marisa as punishment for her impromptu romp with Noah. And if she ends up sleeping with Luca during that time, we could be looking at another "who's the daddy?" storyline. Ugh. I mean...yay? Ahem. I mean, yay!

Lily, meanwhile, has had to learn the hard way that Cane can only take so much suspicion and abuse from his wife before finally deciding that he's had enough. Sure, someone -- probably Joe -- is orchestrating this rift, but, really, Lily only has herself to blame. She's choosing on her own to believe the worst. She's choosing on her own to confide in Joe about the troubles she's facing in her marriage. She's choosing on her own to keep Cane away from Charlie and Mattie. And, as she correctly noted, even after trying to reconcile with Cane, she was still talking about him like he was guilty. If I were Cane, I would have reached my breaking point weeks ago.

Neil's need for revenge has really done a number on everyone he claims to love. And he still hasn't admitted the truth about his involvement in Hilary's disappearance; no surprise there, of course. I'm not yet completely convinced that Hilary isn't just faking her amnesia, and if she is, she's taking a big risk. She already pushed Devon away once to pursue a secret agenda. If she's not careful, she might end up pushing him too far this time. But, on the bright side, if that happens, I hear there's room for more members in Cane's Let-Down Spouses club. Activities include drowning sorrows and ignoring phone calls while hanging out at the Athletic Club's bar.

But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Abby and Stitch are the most troubled couple in Genoa City. Of course, things change quickly there, especially during sweeps, so they might be dethroned by this time next week, but, for now, they seem more doomed than the others. For one thing, he's in love with her mother, who wasn't exactly discouraging those feelings when they were trapped together in Newman Towers. And, as if that weren't bad enough, he might die soon.

All signs do seem to be pointing to that conclusion, but then there's the recent casting news that seems like it has to be related to Abby and Stitch -- at the moment, they're the most likely candidates to be in need of a wedding planner in December -- so maybe he'll survive and have months of guilt to look forward to. Or maybe he really will die, and Abby (or Ashley -- or both, which would be particularly fun) will fantasize in December about the wedding plans they would have been making then. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

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If this past week taught us just one thing, it's that, as a whole, the residents of Genoa City aren't particularly good at following orders.

The exterior shots of Newman Towers made it look like a building that had far more than twenty or so floors.

Summer and Kyle picked a good time to disappear from Genoa City. Maybe they went to visit Fen.

Speaking of Fen, now that Under the Dome has been canceled, all I want for Christmas is for Max Ehrich to return for good and get a decent new storyline. Juicy would be nice, but I'll take decent.

It was nice to see Adam continue to soften toward Victor this past week. Not only did he call Victor "Dad" in a way that seemed sincere, he also said Victor was ten times the man Ian was. I think that counts as a compliment.

And it was nice to see Christine just soften, period. I swear, I almost saw her heart grow three sizes right before my eyes. But I noticed that she still made a point of handcuffing Adam to the hospital bed. Because that worked so well the last time she tried it.

Since Y&R's head writer, Charles Pratt, Jr., likes doing disaster stories during sweeps periods, I'm going to need him to make good on Jack's "tiger in a burning building" idea sometime next year.

It's nice to know that, despite Nick's track record, Nikki's confident that his marriage to Sage will survive the loss of their child.

Michael should know by now that no password will ever keep his computer safe from Kevin's prying eyes.

I hope Victor had Newman Towers insured. And that when he rebuilds it, he considers turning Top of the Tower into Bottom of the Tower, just in case.

A sweeps period never officially begins until Dylan has been hailed as a hero.

This isn't the first time Ray Wise has played a devil. He was literally the devil on a short-lived show called Reaper. It's worth checking out, if you can find it online.

[Victoria hugs Mariah at the hospital.] Mariah

: [groans] Oh, my gosh, these people and their hugging!

[Phyllis finds herself trapped in a room with Patty.]Phyllis: There's a fire out there and a wacko in here. This is a real toss-up.

[Ian offers Adam a glass of Champagne so they can celebrate the destruction of Newman Towers. Adam takes the glass and tosses it across the room.]Adam: You son of a bitch!Ian: Me? I'm not the one that wasted perfectly good Champagne!

[Later...]Adam: Paragon was about bringing down Newman Enterprises!Ian: Oh, was I too literal?

And, finally, as you may have already seen, Burgess Jenkins has opted to exit the show, meaning that Billy's likely going to be getting a new face soon -- again. Just when I was finally starting to get used to the old one! Honestly, to me, the actor always seemed miscast in the role of Billy, but he did his best to try to make it his own. I wish him luck in the future.

If the rumors are to be believed, Jason Thompson is the most likely candidate to assume the role, but I'm not sure he'd be right for the part, either. Personally, I'd love to see Jonathan Jackson in the role, but he's a bit busy with Nashville at the moment, unfortunately.

I'm not a fan of the idea of using plastic surgery to explain the change. We didn't need plastic surgery storylines to explain any of the other times Billy's face suddenly changed, so why should this time be any different? And what will happen if this recast works out just as well as the others did (read: not very)? Y&R got lucky with Justin Hartley and the Adam storyline, but expecting lightning to strike twice seems like a pretty risky gamble to me.

Who would you like to see step into the role of Billy? We'd love to hear your thoughts on that -- or anything else you have on your mind. Just click the link below to send us your feedback!

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