The nine lives of a Genoa Citian

In present-day Genoa City, death is rarely fatal. Remember how it used to be when one of our beloved soap favorites was summoned to the afterlife?

In present-day Genoa City, death is rarely fatal. Remember how it used to be when one of our beloved soap favorites was summoned to the afterlife? Accompanied by the saddest, most heartstring-tugging music the show could find, hospital machines flat-lined, or citizens exhaled for the very last time. As family and friends tearfully choked out their sad so longs, we fans snatched repeatedly at our Puffs box, dabbing at our trickling eyes and bemoaning the fact that we'd never see our favorite character again.

But that was then. Now, when someone allegedly expires, my bone dry eyes don't even glance at my Puffs, because I realize it isn't just cats that are gifted with nine fulfilling, action-packed lives. Some selected Genoa Citians are also benevolently blessed with multiple chances to get life right.

Sharon Newman is the most recent resident destined for the pull-out drawer at the morgue, her presumably prettily painted toe adorned with an identifying name tag. But, of course, we already know the badly burned body in Sharon's car is that of the unfortunate carjacker, who clearly isn't from Genoa City, thus, was only allotted a single life.

I hope Sharon's portrayer is pleased with her busy, though nearly cursed, onscreen life, because if cyberspace's many message boards are any indication, fans are deserting her character in droves. Positive feedback is about as scarce as hens' teeth are purported to be, and many fans seem to think, death, if it were to come for real, would be exactly what the beleaguered heroine deserved for the choices she's made.

I've been watching the antics of Genoa Citians for many years, and am hard-pressed to think of a character that has been so thoroughly destroyed. What happened to that young woman who arrived on the Genoa City scene with only one name listed on the pages of her sexual history book? The mother who would have given up her marriage to then love-of-her-life, Nick, because he wasn't sure he could accept Cassie into their lives. The same mother who refused to risk harming her unborn baby with a paternity test even though the child might be the result of a rape by Matt Clark/Carter Mills.

Then came the contract impasse. Sharon, the "good mother," suddenly took off and left her husband to care for their two children. If the parties couldn't come to an agreement, Sharon Newman would be no more. Obviously, resolution was reached, and Sharon returned to Genoa City, but it wasn't until months later that a backstory was written to cover her disappearance. If I could go back in time, I would travel back and smack the scribe who wrote in the abusive Cameron Kirsten. Because that seemed to be the start of the new, but definitely not improved, Sharon Newman. After that came her one-time sexual tryst with Newman ranch hand, Diego, the infamous kiss she planted on Victor, her emotional and physical affair with engaged-to-Victoria Brad, the three-way baby daddy sweepstakes, the blackouts, the stealing, and more.

Fast-forward to the present. To Adam Newman and the overwhelming fan belief that Sharon chose her baby's kidnapper over the child she claimed to care so deeply for. Without turning this into a rant against Phyllis Newman, which many know is a character I don't much like, I can't help but feel a good deal of the character assassination of Sharon is to make Phyllis look 100% better by contrast. During the week, Nikki even compared Nick and Phyllis to her and Victor.

Well, call me crazy, biased, or just plain wrong, but I continue to be left cold by Nick and Phyllis. Video games, or as was the case this past week, card games, and sex that comes as close to soft porn as daytime allows seems to be most of what they're about. And yes, I already know, Phyllis fans are going to rake me over the hot coals for that remark, telling me how much deeper, wider, and more respectful their love is compared to his relationship with tired, old, bad-mom Sharon. And I respect their right to their opinions. It just isn't the way I see those two. Like Sam I Am and green eggs and ham, I do not like Nick and Phyllis. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. But that's just me and my single opinion. We all have our favorites, and while they are many fans' fave, they just don't happen to be mine.

What I had been hoping for, right up until Phyllis cheated on Jack (again), was the tug-of-war between father and son over a woman. Now that is something that hasn't been done. No, the Sharon kiss doesn't count. That was just needy Sharon kissing an unresponsive Victor, who never strayed from his father-in-law role. Of course, I haven't given up hope that the scribes have completely buried that future bone of contention. It could still happen, even though after hearing Nick tell Phyllis how he never wanted to lose her and blah and blah, the possibility now seems remote.

So, if Nick is not destined to be the thorn in Victor's side through Diane, just what is between this pair? Why did Victor really marry Diane and vice versa, because it certainly doesn't seem to have anything to do with love. And to their credit, neither bothered to claim that emotion as a reason for their partnership. If Victor really wants Nikki, and Diane secretly desires Nick, where will they go from there? Well, wherever they are going, I hope they don't treat us to any more love scenes along the way. Because that was just a bit on the icky side.

And what of Jack and Phyllis? I feel like I was shoved back years ago to the point when Jack was again the chump in love being done so wrong. Either through Sharon, Adam, or Summer, Phyllis has managed to keep herself practically flypapered to Nick since their breakup. So, I'm sure it came as no surprise to fans or foes that she would jump his bones at the first opportunity. Contrary to Nikki's assurance to Jack that the two were there to find Sharon, Sharon was the last thing on Phyllis' mind, as she tried to pry Nick away from the listening wall with her "it's so hot, I have to strip down to my bra and panties" routine. Right. Like the hotel room didn't have air conditioning. So contrived! Scribes, you're better than that. Oh well, I can't really feel too sorry for Jack. He should have known he was just the rebound boy, after Deacon, of course.

Speaking of Nikki, she continues to look drop-dead gorgeous these days. Gone are the wide belts and matronly dresses. All she needs now is a romance, and my fingers are still crossed that one will happen with Vance.

Aside from the Newmans, there was plenty of excitement to be found around town. Sofia and Malcolm said their I do's, and apparently not a moment too soon, since it seems she suspects she might be pregnant. Really, scribes? I can't believe you are taking us down that predictable path. Sorry, but I think that is just plain lazy storytelling. Neil has more business smarts than most in that town, and Leslie's no slouch in that department, either, not to mention she's absolutely gorgeous. Can no scribe think of anything to do with all that potential? As for Malcolm, while I'm not bashing the actor, he's done nothing to make us care about this character and continues to be nearly unwatchable.

Best of the week goes to the black market baby storyline. When Jana began truthfully telling her tale, it was priceless watching the light first flicker and then steadily increase until you could almost see the wheels turning in Billy's brain. I was absolutely riveted by his reaction, and could imagine the coldness that had to envelop him, followed by a panic he didn't dare let show on his face. I bet the thoughts and emotions were bombarding him so fast, he probably felt like his head was about to explode, even as a noose tightened around his neck. If this secret comes out, you just know it will probably mean the end of his marriage, not to mention his reputation, perhaps even his freedom. Oh, what am I talking about? In this town, only the innocent go to jail while the guilty are allowed to roam freely, committing more crimes.

Getting back to the living dead, was death really final for Cane, or is he one of the lucky people granted more than one life at birth? Did the man covered in blood on the church steps really die, or was it a huge hoax Cane concocted to ensure his family was safe? Is the man Lily keeps seeing Cane, or his not necessarily evil twin? Could this mysterious man be the same person who texted Blake that warning before he died? All those answers and more will have to wait for Cane's mother's arrival.

Finally, will Sharon's "death" be the turning point? Is this the end for Adam and Sharon? Will the new man we've all heard about be able to replace Adam in her heart? When she learns of her despised daughter's death, will Doris regret her harsh and uncaring stand? Unlikely. Doris behaves like a bitter, old crone who probably secretly blames her daughter for her wheelchair-bound life.

Until I return, I hope you enjoy the comments of your fellow fans.

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I used to watch Y&R when it first came on - then stopped watching and just recently started again. Needless to say, I am going to stop watching it again - the reason being these storylines are the same over and over again. How many times are deaths going to be fake? How many times are they going to use the "who's the daddy" storyline? How many times are they going to put the wrong person in jail? Is everyone in GC stupid? - Mimi

Oh. My. Gosh. Just shoot me already. Where do I begin to address all the "boobage" that was thrown in our face this week? Do the "ladies" (and I use that term loosely) on this soap have to thrust their cleavage at me at every turn? Sophia's cleavage on her wedding dress almost served as a double chin; Phyllis, is it really necessary to show her push up black bra peeking OVER her bodice? And Sharon. She looked like a street walker in that get-up Adam put together for her. And while we are on the subject of Sharon, well, yes, she is a moron. What woman in her right mind would even think busting out of police custody was a good idea? Was Adam on something when he told her it was her best chance to be with Faith? Be with Faith where? I'm tired of these two nitwits trying at every turn to "prove" they are innocent. Leave the proving to the wonderfully talented Genoa City lawyers and dime store detectives at GCPD. I'm getting tired of this merry-go-round fast. - Deb