A hodgepodge week

Michael's quick forgiveness of father Lowell happened so fast it just wasn't believable.

Was it just me, or did others find the week a wee bit wearying to wade through? Between Michael's overdone outrage and part 2 of the pencil sketch gallery goings on, Monday and Tuesday's show kept sending me straight to yawnsville. Michael's quick forgiveness of father Lowell happened so fast it just wasn't believable to this fan. Remember how long it took him to reach even a position of civility toward Gloria? And she was the parent who didn't abandon him. Yet, all Lowell had to do was be nice to Fen, and suddenly all was forgiven and forgotten? I'm not so easily satisfied, however, and remain unimpressed and unsympathetic when it comes to Lowell Baldwin and his threadbare tale of woe.

Except when he's all hypocritical moral indignation against others while simultaneously breaking every law he finds necessary for those he's for, I generally like Michael. But he loses me quick the second he starts waving his arms wildly about and shouting as if he's trying to reach the nosebleed seats in the theater instead of people like me in our living rooms.

So what Jeffrey turned in Peace Be With You Always Baldwin? What reason does he have to join the love fest for Lowell? Perhaps, instead of blaming Jeffrey, Michael should have saved a chastising sentence or two for Gloria. Because if she wasn't always so quick to tell a bold-faced lie when the bare truth would likely turn out better, Jeffrey might not have felt threatened by Lowell's sudden appearance in their lives.

Speaking of new faces, does Genoa City really need yet another issue-afflicted adolescent? How funny to hear Eden Baldwin going on and on about a loser school in a loser town filled with loser inhabitants. With her constantly rolling eyes and frequently curling lip, who told her she was such a winner? One would think being reared by a sweetness and light, platitude-pontificating Papa like Lowell would have left Eden much more mellow and laid back. Needless to say, though I liked her as Quinn on Zoey, I wasn't much moved by my first impression of Eden. Mostly because though her reason for rancor is different, her antisocial attitude upon arrival was nearly identical to the one shown by Mackenzie, Billy, and Colleen when they each trundled into town. Been there, seen that, already know how it's going to come out. New formula please, scribes. I did find Eden much easier to take when she was dealing with her father, however. Those emotions, at least, seemed genuine and believable.

So, how will Lowell Baldwin come out? Pretty predictably, is my guess. Michael the Magnificent will surely snatch courtroom victory from the very jaws of defeat. By that time Eden will likely have bonded with her new family and be halfway to a romance with Noah. And if the Baldwin father and daughter are destined to remain in the City, Lowell will likely win Gloria's heart with Jeffrey somehow sent packing. Exciting? Doesn't seem so at the moment, but who knows. Perhaps they'll be an unexpected twist or two to make this one interesting.

Unfortunately, when I wasn't nodding off in the middle of Michael's tempestuous tantrums in Genoa City, I was fighting to stay awake and pay attention in New York. I've been looking forward to Billy's arrival, mostly because I hoped it might mean the stranglehold Chloe has on Cane's throat might loosen enough for him to escape back to Lily. Her baby had to be fathered by someone, and we know it couldn't possibly be Cane. So, while I don't claim to have much knowledgeable in biological matters, I have just enough common sense to figure out the only likely way (even in a make-believe soap world) to explain Cane being in the matching group is if the real father is someone in his family. Like Billy.

That being said, hopefully Billy will liven up the younger generation grouping. Because Jana, faithful friend and helpful advisor to all who ask and some who don't is now so saccharine, one helping of her satisfies my sweet tooth for the day. As for Kevin, his edge has almost been completely worn away and he's become nearly as agreeable as his bride, except when it comes to Jeff, sometimes Jack, and now Billy. Speaking of that, Kevin's antagonism toward Billy actually took me a bit by surprise and nearly caused me to dig into the site archives to see if things actually happened the way he now claims, except I was simply too lazy to go looking. Because while I'm not yet ready for retirement, I'm not as young as I used to be, so the fact that I can't really recall these two crossing paths much, let alone clashing enough to explain Kevin's self-admitted hatred of Billy, could lie more with my failing memory than because said path-crossing never occurred. Likewise, Jana's date with the bloke. Guess that didn't make much of an impression on me either, because it's disappeared from my memory banks as well. I did find myself giggling just a bit, though, as I listened to Kevin and Jana go on and on ad nauseum about all Billy's drawbacks. It might very well be true that Billy is an unrepentant player, but who are these two lawbreakers to talk? Brain tumor not withstanding, Jana is an unpunished killer married to a man who missed being a convicted murderer only because one, J.T. rescued Colleen before she could be cooked like a holiday goose and two, because Kevin was lucky enough not to be seen doing the diabolical deed. Not to mention that since then Kevin has committed and gotten away with so many crimes, thanks to that lawbreaking brother of his, I don't even bother to keep track of them all anymore.

Then there is Daniel. Also known as Mr. Sticks and Stones. Don't get me wrong. I don't fault Daniel for deciding against getting back together with Amber. After all, what she did was truly a tramp move, getting drunk and giving her goodies away to Adrian. And some can get past an episode of cheating while others remain forever unforgiving. For now Daniel stands steadfastly in the latter category. But, given the way he conducted himself after swearing to love, honor, and cherish the girl he was once married to, I find his current holier than thou attitude annoying. Even though it wasn't specifically spelled out in his wedding vows, it goes without saying that marriage meant not looking and lusting after someone else's half-covered treats then lying copiously to your bride to cover it up. So, just my biased opinion, but Mr. Reformed Porn Peruser doesn't have much room to point a disapproving digit at Billy. Especially since, looking around at the sparsely attended opening, the sole woman in the room whose cookies Daniel hasn't nibbled on was Jana. Oh the incestuous-like couplings of Genoa City.

Not that I expect Billy to remain second to Daniel for long. He hasn't even set foot in Genoa City yet, but already he's liberally sampled one of his half-brother's exes and obviously, given the lecherous way the lounge lizard was leering at Lily, wouldn't be averse to taking another for at least a test drive. I hope Lily isn't tempted though. With a different name for all four seasons, Billy seems much too sleazy for Lily but would be a perfect match for the cheap and unscrupulous Chloe. I almost feel sorry for Amber having become entangled with Billy. She must really be rebounding hard because no right thinking woman would fall so easily for his obviously insincere and rather banal blandishments. I couldn't help but giggle when he told Amber Daniel didn't catch the sparkle in her eyes. Well, of course he didn't. He couldn't have done that unless she had eyes in the back of her ... well, you know. Too bad there's no trace of the likable reformed bad boy who once fell so head over heels for the morally pure Mackenzie Browning he actually wed her, only to discover on their wedding night that he'd just said I do to his first cousin.

For Colleen, Unca Billy is obviously a welcome addition to their rather incestuous little group of girls and guys. And she wasted no time begging him to distract her competition long enough for her to get her sharpened talons deep enough into Daniel's hide to make removal exceptionally painful. Sounds like Colleen is just a little unsure about her ability to beat Amber on a level playing field. For someone who began so innocent, Colleen has become quite the tawdry tart over the years, apparently never minding being the rebound romp. Though she had him first then lost him, she chased after small game J.T. until she brought him down and mounted him on her wall, despite Mac's live-in presence. Obviously, she's decided to repeat that same strategy with Daniel. So what he used to be married to best friend Lily? Colleen's shown she doesn't have a problem with someone's seconds. So what Daniel's not over Amber? Clearly, she's heard the one about the best way to forget an old love is to start rutting around with a new one. By the way, when did Colleen become Miss So Hot to Trot, dropping her underthings anytime, anyplace, where anyone could saunter along? One can only wonder where she might stage her next performance. The middle of Crimson Lights, perhaps? Or atop the same sofa pillows at RSM previously used by her and Daniel's exes?

And finally, there is Lily. I know some fans find her boring, but to me she's quite refreshing and says and reacts like real people do. There were a couple of quite enjoyable moments this week. Even though she has no reason to even be civil to Amber, she still treats her with some degree of kindness. Quite a contrast to the catty, nasty way, potty mouth Colleen behaves. I couldn't help but crack up when she told Amber she didn't have to get all pissy about it when she tried to delicately warn her about Billy. And her pain and heartache was plain to both see and hear when she admitted to Colleen she would be bummed whatever she was doing because she was so missing Cane. A true rarity among scheming soap sirens, Lily refrains from poaching man game living on other women's land. And even though she's been much wronged, she still manages to forgive and move on without the need to draw a bucket of blood from them first. Former internet stalker/pedophile Kevin treated her like dog doo on his shoe, sexually manipulating her, infecting her, then setting her up for a faux assault to work his way back into her good graces, and through her, polite Genoa City society. Daniel, eventually forgiven for his role in Kevin's plan to whitewash himself at Lily's expense, married her then repeatedly put Amber ahead of her, making it appear Lily was the fool, instead of him. Then, along comes Chloe, with her mean-hearted manipulation, and once again Lily is left with empty arms and a broken heart. Okay, for that one, even though I like Lily, I wanted to smack her across the back of the head for so easily relinquishing Cane to classless Chloe. So, I really hope she doesn't get stuck with Billy unless he's going to return to the Billy of yesteryear. And if a new and improved Billy isn't in the script, then the only up side to pairing him with Lily is so Cane will get jealous enough to dump the loathsome loser he's now linked to and upgrade to a better, more honest model.

In other Billy matters, I also can't wait for the first meeting between Chloe and Billy. Wherever she might have met him, it wasn't Genoa City, so Chloe should be appropriately astonished and appalled to come face to face with one of her booty calls. Of course, this brazen bimbo always thinks and manages to lands on all four grubby paws, so if you blink more than once, you might miss her reaction entirely. I'm guessing Billy has no desire to be tied down with a little lass or lad, especially when she's mothered by a manipulative minx like Chloe, so I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see Billy more than willing to let his half-brother take the blame and the responsibility for what he himself sired.

On top of that, I expect Billy will have plenty of jealousy issues with his new stepbrother. He's not liable to like discovering that Cane has become the apple of Mommy's eye; at least he will continue to be unless he sides with Kay to keep Jill from retaking the reins of Jabot and Chancellor things. Then there is the whole matter of who gets to be the heir to the Chancellor throne. And lastly, if Jack and assorted Abbott and Bardwell family members are able to reach a strained consensus, brother will also be pitted against brother on the Abbott side of the fence. Plenty to look forward to if written right.

Chloe continues to operate without a discernable conscience as she easily convinces the Doctor and his nurse to join her in her subterfuge to pin her baby on Cane, like the tail blindfolded little kids at a birthday party pin on a donkey. I guess her newfound status as Mrs. Ashby comes with a very generous allowance as I watched her peel off greenbacks to buy the nurse's silence until she pops the baby out, to use her words. Every time I think this cheap trick can't sink any lower, she proves me wrong.

Continuing their ill-conceived alliance, Jack and Adam learned very little they didn't already know on their trek to Mexico. I guess, for Adam, thanks to a worldwide blackballing campaign by his vindictive Daddy, throwing himself into work anywhere wasn't an option. Unfortunately, flinging his unemployed self into one of Jack's idiotic undertakings instead isn't likely to buy him any others. Unless Jack succeeds in regaining Jabot then offers Adam a job. I still don't like the way Victor treated Adam. So what Adam fired tattletale Neil and vindictive Victoria. Nick once turned his father in to the Feds and was looking forward to seeing his father locked up for years. But Victor never disowned him. Instead, he practically lay down in the dirt and let Nick walk all over him, all the while practically begging his son's pardon. As for Jack, displaying true Genoa City hypocrisy, he lied repeatedly about what he was doing, with whom and against, through the same teeth he recently clenched tightly together as he berated his bride for keeping Nick-type things from him. I can only hope his wife catches him in his own snare.

After claiming things at RSM were so hectic she couldn't possibly escape long enough to stare with other Genoa Citians at smudged drawings of Amber's near naked form, Phyllis, along with the other two major employees of RSM, occupied themselves with all things un-RSM. Phyllis spent her time baiting Sharon about her missing husband, implying her marriage was quite probably on the very brink of collapse, the size and scope of her questionable brain along with various other catty comments that made her seem, as usual, like she was still in high school.

Victor continued his downward spiral further into the depths of depression. The ghost of Sabrina was a welcome sight and a cleansing breeze after looking for four plus days at the black hearts and souls of the other women in town. Unfed, unwatered and quite possibly unwashed, Victor's neglected body finally had enough and he collapsed in the middle of Sabrina's empty museum. Before he fell, though, there were some nice sort of bonding moments between Nick and Victor, but that all came to a screeching halt the second Nick summoned his sister. Immediately making everything, as usual, mostly about her, her fatherly concern conversation was repeatedly peppered with sentences beginning with I. I was proud of Nikki for trying her best to deter her bullheaded daughter who was determined to confine her father in a cage like a pet bird she could visit when she felt like it, but thanks to Phyllis' interfering assistance, Victoria finally managed to persuade her brother Daddy would be better off under paid psychiatric care. But, proving there really isn't much awry in his brain, with Michael's help, Victor easily led his busybody family straight down the primrose path, then left them standing there staring stupidly at the space where he used to be. I admit his escape made my week.

I like that Heather cornered the angry Victor bull in the barn and spoke up in defense of her beloved. But, didn't she learn anything from her previous clash with Victor? She might have thought she was doing the right thing, but she probably did more to harm than help Adam.

And lastly, what in the world is happening to Kay? Is it the beginning of the end for her? You know that doctor who visited Victor? Perhaps someone ought to summon him to examine Kay because she's definitely in dire need of some assistance.

Okay, I'm out of here. But I'm leaving you with what others had to offer. See ya in seven.

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Elsa - I have been a fan since I was 12. Lately I have found myself not watching the show due to some of the storylines. Like Neil and Karen and Gloria and Jeffrey, but most of all the Cane and Chloe storyline. I really hate it! I start getting angry and stop watching so that I don't have to watch Lily so upset. I really hope Lily and Cane can be together again. Please.

Allie - Hasn't anyone figured out yet Cane couldn't be excluded from the father's DNA because Billy and Cane share DNA on the mother's side. I bet Chloe is pregnant with Billy's baby. But I must say Chloe is a lot more interesting than Lily (yawn) Winters. As far as Coleen is concerned, she has no business calling anyone else a skank. Finally, once, just once, I want Jack to beat Victor!

CherylRic - I can't believe they spend so much airtime on a dude made up to look like Stan Laurel and also that women fall for his new sensitive, artistic side. Ugh, the new Billy is so refreshing. He reminds me of when Jerry Lester was the old Jack. He should do wonders for Amber's already twisted sense of self respect. The sweet Cane has turned into a drag instead of a dynamo who should be embracing his new job. Can't wait for Brad to come to the forefront and start his devious antics. They are much more enjoyable than Jack's. Brad and Adam are a better fit to be cohorts. Brad could pursue Heather at the same time and her hormones would conflict with her saintly ethics. Would make for good sparring opportunities for Brad and Paul. I vote for a pairing of Colleen and Adam.

Heather - What the heck happened to NVP? Why is Cane so stupid to think the only way he has rights to his baby is to marry Chloe (who I love by the way). A lot of people are hating on her but I think she is so funny and has incredible style. How funny would it have been if all of those stupid sketches sold except for the one of Colleen? She is behaving so desperately, it's sickening. I love Lauren and think she is beautiful but she is started to look disgustingly frail and thin. And lastly, Nick, Sharon, Jack and Phyllis need to swap spouses again.

Jessica - Please replace the actress that plays Eden. I have watched the show for 17 years and never felt so strongly that the person can't act. I actually want to switch channels or fast forward when she appears.

Delores - Don't like Michael's father or his new sister. She is really overacting and is too mean. Give Lily a backbone. What girl is going to tell her boyfriend to stay with a woman because she's having a baby that's not his. She should take Cane back and help raise the baby. Chloe doesn't want the kid anyway. She only wants the money and the big name.

Marsha - After 35 years, I have finally stopped caring about Y&R. It's a complete travesty what the producers and writers have let happen to one of the best soaps on daytime ever! I read your column to listen in on whether or not it's time to care again. Based upon the last 2 years and most importantly, the current status, it sounds like they have hit rock bottom! I don't know if it can ever be repaired. The only possibility would be to make it all a bad dream for everyone and start over!