A mixed bag week

Has there ever been a more tiresome threesome than Amber, Daniel and Kevin?

The GC week began so slow and was so completely banal it wasn't long before I began to seriously wonder whether it might be possible to die of boredom. Then, I thought perhaps my cause of death might come from old age, since I fell asleep so many times during the senseless conversations being squeaked and squawked out by the criminally-minded Amber and her two lap dogs, I feared I'd never live long enough to see what happened after. Has there ever been a more tiresome threesome than Amber, Daniel and Kevin? What a waste of valuable air time! Continuing to call them the three stooges is an insult to the original ones. A Mama's boy in unrequited love with his attempted murderess, an apparently all better now porn addict who lately can't make a decision unless he clears it with her highness, the hot Ambrosia. Has Daniel always been so spineless? Amber's more of a man than he is. And speaking of the bottled blonde one, words nearly fail me so great is my contempt for that platinum-plated money grubber. I echo fan Debra's opinion below about Amber's moving mouth. Blah, blah, and blah! Shut up lying, stealing, firebug.

So, how about that lame fire? Amber starts a fire in the wall of an AC room, and it remains contained and doesn't burn the entire Club down? No one seems to be investigating. Sure, Maggie suspiciously asked Amber a couple of questions, but I have my doubts that anything much will come of that. Probably will just get dropped like everything else the GCPD investigates. Aaaand the fire is put out or puts itself out before it burns all that currency to an unrecognizable pile of ash. In the end, the serial numbers survive, and no one seems the least bit suspicious about the mysterious fire. From start to finish, the whole burn the money thing was so ridiculous and unbelievable, I'm not even going to bother commenting further on it. It served its purpose; it got the criminals off the hook and freed them to commit further felonies they won't have to pay for.

Thankfully, as the week wore on, things did begin to improve a bit. The divorce party wasn't all bad, although the jerking about by the attendees on the dance floor was especially awful. And while Lily and Colleen were beyond annoying with their immature behavior (is that really how 19-20 year old young women act these days - my 17-year old says, not any he hangs out with), but I have to admit I quite enjoyed the kiss between Cane and Lily. It was really refreshing to see heat and softness after so many similar scenes of two people pawing at each other while trying to swallow half their partner's face. Not that I bothered to get my hopes up, though, about these two. As fan Eve says below, a certain scribe does seem to go out of her way to extinguish any flickering spark that dares to ignite between a GC man or woman. And I fear that now that Cane knows Lily is only 19, I imagine he might immediately begin to back away in alarm and waste his considerable charms instead on the wooden-like Heather. I'd rather see her paired with Adrian, the only person thus far she's exhibited a bit of animation with. She positively gushes when she talks to him. By contrast, Colleen seems almost entirely unaffected by her wordy Professor and only comes to life when talking about or being around Kevin.

I also have to admit I thoroughly enjoyed Cane rudely rejecting Amber and practically slapping the olive branch out of her hand when the party crasher went slinking over to the piano to plead her case. So what she saved Jill? She started the darn fire. Hero, my foot. That girls a big fat zero!

Elsewhere in the romance department, it appears Neil might just be starting to believe there might be love after Dru after all. So far, there don't seem to be any roadblocks keeping him from a full and passionate pursuit of Karen, unless she has some sordid skeletons in the back of her closet that have yet to be brought out into the bright light and rattled before her fellow city dwellers.

Devon is the third and final Winters' family member at whom Cupid has aimed his love-dipped arrow. Of course, despite the attractive date Devon was sort of sporting on his arm, his puppy dog eyes of devotion were trained mostly on his adopted sister.

Midweek and beyond found us spending time at Camp Kenosha, watching in open mouthed disbelief as various visitors, both human and non, dropped in to visit its newest camper. Silly formalities like visiting form completion and approval are obviously not observed at the Camp. And presumably Warden Pompous has little to do, how else to explain how he's ever available to personally meet, greet and approve each visitor? Nick, after flinging the illustrious name of Newman at everyone of importance he could find without noticeable results, seemed prepared to go all the way to President Bush if he had to in order to gain access to his wife. But in the end it wasn't necessary. It turned out that all that was needed was to give the Warden a brief but heartfelt summary of all he'd suffered in the recent past, including he and Phyllis' last night of passion together, the night that made Nick's heart pitter patter with such pleasure, he found himself head over heels with Phyllis once again. And at last, the layer of ice cooling Warden Sourpuss' heart melted, puddled at his feet and he magnanimously granted his permission for the Newmans to clasp each other chest to breast, as Sharon looked on, a bit confused.By the way, before the Warden melted, he was quite short and sarcastic with Nick. You'll get no special treatment here because you're a Newman he blustered. But I'd bet my very last dollar he didn't say anything like that to Victor and his visiting dog. As far as the dog visit is concerned, I presume Victor likened the necessity of his companion to that of a Seeing Eye dog, except he sees seizures before his master has them.

But getting back to Sharon. I don't think we need feel too bad for her at Nick's flip-flop of love you, love you not. Nick claimed to still feel a love for his former wife, along with the newly re-discovered love for his current one, but obviously means to do nothing about it. But that doesn't mean Sharon is out in the cold. Although she recently fearfully confessed to Neil that she might be falling back in love with Nick, she's said nothing since and continues to profess her love for Jack, although to my ears, it sounds more platonic than passionate. I think she likes Jack very much, both as a good friend and a father figure for her mouthy son, but madly in love, not in my opinion. And I still feel this way, even after witnessing their recent bout of rolling across the bed lovemaking.

And if Sharon doesn't want Jack, well, there's always Bradley. Who, after months woman-less, and except for Sharon, friend-less, is again back to professing his undying devotion to Sharon. At least he finally had the decency to apologize for scorning her little caboose in favor of the much more sumptuous gravy train Victoria had idling on the tracks. With Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement near at hand, Sharon isn't the only one Brad is apologizing to. He'd also like to make amends to Victor and Colleen, neither of whom was unduly eager to believe or accept his words. Maybe it's coming later, but I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't yet offered a regretful I'm sorry to his ex-wife.

I'm sure they'll never be any I'm sorry syllables dropping from Victor's tight lips. Intent on repaying Jack for his recent wrongs against him, along with those in the distant past, Victor will obviously stop at nothing and would clearly be amenable to making a nasty deal with the Devil if it enabled him to grind Jack beneath his hand-soled shoe. Like a carrot bobbing before a racing donkey, Victor dangled the possibility of a daily, perhaps even early, release to Phyllis hoping to convince her to take the dagger he offered and thrust it into Jack's back. But say what you will about Phyllis, and I often do, I can't question her loyalty. As much as she presumably wanted to be back in the loving arms of her hubby while holding little Summer in her own arms, Phyllis, without so much as a second's thought, didn't hesitate to turn Victor down.

Victor, of course, barely batted a heavy-lidded eye at Phyllis's refusal and before the day was out had indeed struck a deal with the Devil. A grimy she-devil named Gloria who shouldn't throw a single stone at anyone with all the undiscovered dirt she has swept under her own rug. But, of course, she was flinging rocks left and right at Jack as she handed over the illegally obtained DVD from Jabot's computer surveillance. By the way, am I the only fan who wishes she could hit that hypocritical old Gloria hag in the head to make her stop scheming? And breathing? Funny how so many people in GC always want people to pay for their crimes, but expect their own to be put on an account which they have no intention of settling. As usual, not even coming close to getting caught with her hand in any jar, not the tainted cream jar nor the computer hacking jar, Gloria is up to her usual tricks, attempting to turn Jack's life into a living hell. Tired of beating my head against a brick wall, I've given up hoping she might someday get a comeuppance similar to the one she wants Jack to receive. Because that snake always manages to slither right out of danger. Maybe she will get caught someday, but I sure won't bother to hold my breath in anticipation of it.

And lastly, finally Jack has decided to come clean. Unfortunately, in true soap fashion, thanks to the bug-eyed black widow, he's bound to be a day late and a buck short. But I still hope his sincere remorse will win out over Victor and Gloria's vindictiveness. Jack coming out ahead of those two vampires would absolutely make my soap week. Here's hoping! So, that's about all I care to say about the GC situation. What's ahead could have plenty of potential. Please take it from here, fans.

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HENRI - When will Gloria's tainting of the face cream be exposed? She is getting away with far too much! When Gloria is exposed, Jack will be able to sue her all of the millions she got from William and finally send her packing! Also, why is Michael, et. al. getting away with wrong doing while Victor gets away with everything? If I remember correctly, Jack has knowledge of Victor bribing Jack's predecessor in the State Senate. Why is Jack not using this information to his benefit? Get rid of Amber and Gloria pronto.

JOE - Y&R writers suffer from amnesia more than the characters! Jack has to be at least 55 and Phyllis at least 40. Phyllis almost kills Christine and Paul and gets away with it. And if the writers can't find away for characters to find dirt on others other than listening in the conference room or the club or I'll scream. Is there not any other place for these characters to hang out? Don't they have friends? Is Y&R so cheap they can't hire an actor to be a character's best friend? Does everyone work in the Newman building? How many times can someone spy and get tapes of the characters doing their nasty things and still keep doing them? Are they that stupid to remember that all these rooms are bugged and watched? Is the IT for Newman and Chancellor so shoddy that Kevin can just hack in with no problem? Nikki is at least 50 and she is portrayed as a sex object! What man would be after her unless it is her money? Paul should give up the toupee. He looks stupid! Please, can the characters use the words mother and grandmother. It is the ultimate disrespect to call one's Mom and grandma by her first name. Michael and Noah take note. How does Michael live with the murder he committed? My biggest gripes are 3. How can a character almost kill or destroy emotionally another character and then jump into bed with them the next week! Oops, I forgot, amnesia. Does anyone ever pay for their crimes? And if I see that ridiculous shrine to Cassie one more time I am going to puke. And if they continue to make Sharon a saint, she should be the patron of sleeping around. From Cassie's father, to Diego, to the man from Colorado, to almost Victor. She's been passed around more than salt. And lastly, any mother from day one knows their baby, so how Jill could not recognize that was not her kid is beyond me and to have Katherine get away with that horrific crime is a crime itself.

JM - First, I would to comment on something positive: Lily and Cane-great chemistry! I hope the writers showcase this for awhile. Putting him with Amber was such a waste. On the negative side: who is casting for this show?! Are they doing casting calls on streets of L.A. to find the worst actors? First it was Logan-who is hopefully gone now and now it is Heather. It's so painful to hear her deliver lines. I feel like I'm watching a bad high school play! Then there's Colleen - hearing her jump from Aussie to American speak wears me out. The casting director of this show needs to look for a little more professionalism before dishing out roles.

TANYA - Y&R needs a lesson in keeping it real. Since when do they let a DOG visit someone in prison?

JULIE - It's getting pretty sad when I enjoy the two scoops much more than the actual show itself! I work full time, so I only have the opportunity to watch Y&R twice a week, but I find myself not even turning it on, and if I do, I do housework while its on, only stopping to watch here and there. All soaps go through "slow" times. Just the nature of the beast. But this is one slow time that is making the snail look like the rabbit! As for the Shick/Phick debate ... well, that's what keeps us tuned in! If everyone got what they wanted, it would be one hell of a boring show! "will they or won't they" is a staple in tv drama. I, for one, am a Shick fan, but that is not what makes me tune out now, it's the lame writing and the shoddy way they mess with history. That used to be one of Y&R's highlights. Like I have said before, if I wanted to watch bumbling, stupid people, very unrealistic storylines and half a**ed acting, I would watch Days or Passions. This USED to be the classiest soap on TV. Now ... NOT!

WANDA - Phyllis sure has a lot of visitors and at any time too. Let's see there was Jack, Victor, Zapato, Nick, Sharon and Noah all in less than 24 hours. NO WAY! No prison allows that kind of traffic for one prisoner. One of the writers needs to try to go visit someone who is incarcerated. Gloria, please, please, please get your own place to live. You have $50 mil. for goodness sakes. I thought the "cuddling" scene with Shack was sweet but the lust at the end seemed forced to me. Tearing their clothes off was really over the top (that is a Phick move). Jill, please quit acting as if your life is over now that Ji Min is gone. You were going to dump him when you came up with the scheme (for him to prove his love) by exposing Jack and Katherine about owning Jabot. Larry Warton needs to pay a visit to GC to take her mind off her mourning. Cane is too old for Lily. I really think the nuColleen looks like she is about 12 and waaaay too young for the professor. I'm looking FW to Traci paying a visit to GC (though I am wondering why). Brad sure is looking hot these days. The casual clothes and his conversation in the GCAC with Sharon was so sexy. He is the best looking man on Y&R IMHO.

DEBRA - I, too agree with the countless others who have decided to scan the daily recaps instead of torturing ourselves by watching this mess. The things that come out of the mouth of Noah aren't even close to what someone his age would say, not to mention his brattiness; and if I would ever be locked up like Phyllis, please incarcerate me in a prison which allows countless contact visits at any time, not to mention the added bonus of being able to bring your DOG inside; and oh, would someone please remind Gloria that her day is coming, Jack isn't the only liar hiding a secret in GC. Nikki always looks like she is smelling something unpleasant; if her nose gets any higher up in the air she'll need an oxygen mask to breathe. And Amber! I see her lips moving, but all I'm hearing is "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp". Remind us all again that this is only all make-believe.

MARIE - I agree with the storyline thoughts I am seeing in the responses. Amber is taking up too much air and time, as are all the "new" people. But Amber is truly deplorable; the only scenes I enjoy are the ones when Cane is trashing her. The scene at the piano was priceless. I am tired of everyone being out for Jack, and Gloria of all people should not be written to be the one who takes Jack down, it is sickening to me that the writers are going this way. She is trash, she is the reason that Jabot was in trouble in the first place, and yeah, what the heck happened to Paul and Maggie being hot on her trail? Did someone in the writing staff get hit with amnesia? And they are making Michael a total joke. The Fisher clan commits felonies an a daily basis with Michael preaching and squinching his face up saying the same lines over and over. And finally, Phick. The amnesia storyline was exciting, finally we were going to be done with this ridiculous couple, Brad and Jack and Nick could duke it out over Sharon for the next few months. But no, Nick, suddenly falls in love with Phy-louse when no one was looking I guess, because he was pretty intense in his love and pursuit of Sharon, which was (finally) an exciting twist. Jack with Sharon and Phyllis with Nick is gross and hard to watch. Michelle Stafford is not getting the writing she deserves. She and Jack belong together. Oh, add my voice to the chorus of Noah haters. I seriously have to fast forward through his scenes, they have made him the most annoying character ever.

EVE - You know, I hate to get my hopes up, but I did see a flicker of chemistry between Lily and the Aussie. Now watch, they'll screw it up by dragging Lily and Devon together; and the Aussie and Heather, which would be a total waste, considering how they've made her the most unsmiling, unfriendly b---- I've ever seen. As we all know, there are a ton of problems with Y&R these days: too many crimes, too little resolution; pacing that makes everyone look like they're sprinting to keep up; and storylines that have just about killed every likeable aspect of almost every character. (We have to have some reason to root for these people, folks!) But perhaps the worst is that LML doesn't seem to know chemistry when she sees it - or doesn't. And there's so little chemistry left after the shake'n'bake LML's been doing. (Nikki and David? Hah! NuColleen and the Professor? Double Hah! Kevin and BrainTumorJana? Noooo!) That's what makes JiMin's death such a waste - he had chemistry with Jill; and probably could have had it with someone else, if necessary. For that matter, it was intriguing to see the cover of SOD with Victor and Phyllis - even in a still shot, I could see those two teaming up to rule the world. That's chemistry. Now if LML & Co. would just work WITH it instead of always, always fighting it.

ELIZABETH - Please let Noah get a little respect for his elders. He needs a good swift boot in the rear.

DEBRA - Oh my gosh! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! From the mouth of Little Miss Innocent herself: "Jack Abbott has gotten away with far too much for far too long," sniffs Gloria to Victor, as she hands him the CD with the incriminating evidence of Jack's Jabot ownership fiasco. Let's hope Jack doesn't find out about her tainted face cream anytime soon. Maybe its time for both John and William to start "appearing" to Gloria, it could be fun watching her lose the little mind she does have left.

PATTY - I have been watching Y&R 25 years. I am very disappointed in the recent storylines. What is missing from Y&R is reality and cohesiveness. That is what separated Y&R from the rest of the soaps. Even if they wanted to break up Nick and Sharon, why would she work for a mother-in-law she can't stand and woman who stole her husband. The story would have been more interesting if Sharon could have started her own business. Dru was her best friend she would have told her not to marry Jack or Brad. They should have brought in a good looking mysterious man for Sharon, maybe Victor Jr. Also, Noah, that is another unrealistic plot. Everyone knows when a husband leaves his wife for another woman that the son is always close to his mother. He takes up for his mother, he respects his mother. Somebody needs to talk to the writers because the storylines are getting boring.