Murder, she wrote

Continuing their headlong rush to erroneous judgment, Genoa City law enforcement's tunnel vision remains fully focused on the Winters family.

Before I get started fans, the end of the year is fast approaching, and that's when Two Scoops traditionally covers the best and the worst of Year 2006. I know precisely what I think about Genoa City pairings, explosive situations and everything else, but since I am only one opinionated voice, I'd love to add your voices to mine. So, any fan who cares to submit their thoughts about what they liked and didn't about the year's offerings, please let me know by Friday, Dec. 15. The Cream of the Crop (the Best, of course) will be posted Christmas Week, with the sticky stuff clinging to the bottom of the grimy barrel (the Worst) showing up the week after.

Now on to the show.

Although we were fed a few appetizers over the week, the main staple of our diet consisted of an overgenerous serving of Carmen Mesta alphabet murder soup. As in: A, Dru did it; B, Neil did it and, of course, C, Devon did it.

Continuing their headlong rush to erroneous judgment, or in this case, perhaps a slow, methodical meander would be a more apt description, Genoa City law enforcement's tunnel vision remains fully focused on the Winters family. Just this once, I would have loved to see a criminal investigation veer sharply off into new and unexplored territory instead of plodding down the usual lanes. Just this once, I would have liked to see the DA and his sound barrier breaking detective actually investigate. We know they examined Carmen's phone records and listened to her voice mail messages. But why have they said nothing about the people she placed calls to? Namely, the mysterious former lover man she spoke to ON THE DAY SHE WAS MURDERED! Yes, Dru despised Carmen and wanted her gone from her life in the worst possible way. Yes, the rest of the Winters family members held the PR interloper in similar below ground level esteem. But, come on, even I can figure out there might, just might, be a couple of other people who probably wouldn't actually haul out their hankies and immediately start honking into them at the news that Carmen Mesta is no more. After all, in most cases, predatory leopards don't change their spots just because they go hunting for prey in a different jungle. If Mesta could ruffle so many feathers in the relatively short time she's been on GC soil, it makes sense, at least to me, that her blackmailing modus operandi in New York could have ruffled more important and deadlier ones, murderously more. Yes, of course, I expected the DA to turn their bright light of suspicion on Dru or her family, but just this once, it would have been a real treat to see them simultaneously proceeding implacably down a parallel path working backwards through Carmen's enemy-making life. Instead, we see Dru and Neil re-arrested almost daily, like a bad remix on Youtube, as once again, GC's keystone cops mistakenly pursue the wrong prey while the real perpetrator continues to fly well beneath their ineffective radar.

Speaking of the real perpetrator, I, too, noticed what fan Betsy below picked up on when we caught a glimpse of Michael's suspect board. I try to pay close attention, but did I doze off and miss hearing a mention or seeing a picture of the mysterious David Chao? Who is he? Am I supposed to somehow divine that he is the married man from Mesta's past? If he isn't, where the heck did Michael get his name? Was his name on Bardwell's board? If it was, I'm not surprised I missed it, since I can't even take Bardwell's error-laden quest seriously. "Maybe son and foster father did it together," he offered without a trace of amusement, causing my mouth to make a mocking moue and a ferocious face marring frown to link my skeptically lifted eyebrows together. That to explain how their fibers and DNA got on Carmen's clothes. Who knew that grabbing a woman by her arm (Neil) or coming within spitting distance in an elevator (Devon) would leave so much usable evidence? I don't remember Devon actually touching Carmen, unless their hands touched when they were picking up all the spilled papers. I better stop while I'm behind; trying to see this murky murder mess through the DA's rheumy eyes is making my head hurt.

Thanks to Neil's inability to obey Genoa City traffic signals, running a red light resulted in him and his wife ensnaring themselves in their own tangled web of practiced deception. And Bardwell wasted no time slapping them with another arrest warrant. This after dragging them back into court for trying to make a break to the distant shores of Omaha. According to the DA, the Winters must pay, and pay through the nose for daring to deliberately lie to the grand jury. There were a number of things in this 'lying to the Grand Jury scenario' that tickled my funny bone and I couldn't help but wonder how many other fans fell flat on the floor with helpless hilarity trying to take that charge seriously. I mean, all things considered, did anyone who perched uneasily on that grand jury chair after swearing to tell the truth, actually do it? Like Brad. I expect he lied, the moment he opened his mouth and swore that yes, his name was Brad Carlton before he presumably went on to add more lies on top of that one. One, perhaps along the lines of, Gee no, Mr. DA, I can't think of a single reason someone would want to do away with Carmen. Well, unless you count as a reason her hope of liberating a significant chunk of change from the Newman Enterprises pot of gold. Or, the fact that she just might have overheard I'm not who I just swore to you I was. And what about Victoria? Did she tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but as she good-wifely backed up her habitually-lying marital mate. Yeah, right! And then there's Phyllis? I'm sure Phyllis she told the truth, at least what she believes to be the truth. You know, that Dru is indeed a dangerous psychopath, a mentally unstable whack job who would not hesitate to snuff the life from anyone who dared to cross her. After all, isn't it said that it takes one to recognize a like one?

One more thing about that red light running ticket and then I'll move on. I guess the cameras in Genoa City intersections are a whole lot more sophisticated than the ones we have in our Midwest town. Because our camera can only capture the license plate, not that of the shadowy visage behind the wheel. Hence the reason, the tickets are mailed to the registered owner!

Okay, can Nikki be any more annoying? Maybe it was only me, but I wish someone had been available to slap her sensible. Her piggy snout flaring in distaste and disgust, she actually was able to form her mouth around and successfully spew out the hateful-sounding words: "I'm sick of Jack and Sharon flaunting their relationship at work." Well, me, I'm sick of her and her judgments and her hypocrisy. If any flaunting is indeed being done, then in my opinion, the one doing it most is her partner in NVP with her ridiculous shoulders back, duck walking, belly leading sashaying about. Did she ever even so much as watch how near term pregnant woman move within their skin? She could not have been more irritating as she stomped around the photo shoot, wildly waving her arms about, tugging at Sharon's dress, screeching sex sells, sex sells. Yeah, Phyll, we know, you were selling, and ever-grinning Nick was tossing dollars at it as fast as he could pull them from his pants pockets.

I understand that in the real world, sex in some form or other is being thrust at us from every direction. But sometimes, tasteful and discreet will make me reach for my money just as quickly. And yes, I know there are fans out there who would say tasteful, discreet and Sharon are words that shouldn't be used in the same sentence, but be that as it may, this was a photo shoot for the NVP spas. Spas that I thought were supposed to be upscale and selling peace, tranquility, relaxation and rejuvenation. So in this instance, I think Jack was right. And has Phyllis ranted to her henchwoman Nikki about how Jack and Sharon dared to oppose her at every turn at the photo shoot, though I listened closely, I failed to hear her admit that she and Nick were doing exactly the same to Jack and Sharon. Speaking of Nick, what the heck was he doing at the shoot anyway? I mean, besides so he could be on hand to remind us for the one trillionth time that his wife Phyllis is hot, hot, hot? What does he DO these days? Have they changed his job description and he's now being overpaid to follow Phyllis about, tongue lolling, drool dribbling down his jaw, waiting for an opportunity to have more sex? And before anyone says it, no Jack had not much more business being there than Nick, although since he's the owner of NVP, at least until Victor says he's not, he does have veto power.

But I was talking about Nikki, so let me haul myself back from the brink. She, along with her equally looking down his nose spouse, are tiresomely treading on my last remaining nerve with their repeated condemnations of all things Jack, and by association, Sharon. Flaunting is hardly what Sharon and Jack are doing. Victor objects because Jack has the gall to be walking around with a smile instead of a frown. But if the grin on Victor's son's face gets any broader, any room he enters is going to need major renovation to make it large enough to contain it. And Yet neither Newman elder has one thing derogatory to say about that or the joy he and his feline are taking in one another. So why is it wrong for rejected suitors, Sharon and Jack to take what paltry pleasure they can in one another, yet the new Newmans are fully supported and excitedly applauded for their blatant behavior?

I have to admit that in the past, I've usually been one of the first to leap aboard the band wagon, ready to chortle with glee and shout jeers and insults at Jack as Victor triumphed over him yet again for whatever transgression he's currently committed. But this time I feel differently and have actually added my name to the list of those fans who aren't looking forward to watching Victor go home the victor from this battle, so to speak, flying his lady's colors from his lance. I wonder when the Creator (with no offense to anyone who might have a different belief) went on vacation and left his 'vengeance is mine' duties in Victor's hands? Anyone listening to Victor and Michael would have thought these two had always been choirboys in their business dealings with never a devious, underhanded action under their belts. If Victor wants to take NVP back from his snooty marital mate, then he should just take it. But instead, he needs to knock Jack to his knees in the most humiliating way possible. I wish fervently for an inspired twist from the scribes that would give Victor back his NVP, and allow Jack to somehow retain what used to be his family company, as well as most of his dignity. Yeah, I know, if wishes be nickels, beggars be rich. Much as I hate to see it coming, I can't deny that Jack, with his complicated machinations, did, unfortunately, bring what is to come upon himself. Payback is a female dog. But I still don't have to like it.

And I definitely don't have to like what I fear might have been a horrifying preview of things to come. Yes, I'm talking about Phyllis and Nick welcoming their bundle of joy. After all that infantile screeching over Braxton Hicks, I can only imagine with great and steadily growing dread, how chalk on a blackboard piercingly she will shriek and how much overacting she will call into play when she actually delivers. I don't speak for anyone but me, but my mute button finger is already at the ready.

Now, as for Sharon and Jack, I still don't see them as the couple of the year and don't expect I ever will. But they do come across as pretty good friends. I like that both can show and admit to their continued vulnerability where their ex's are concerned. Even if a parting was mutual, most people still have residual feelings for their former mate and aren't exactly ready to do handstands of happiness when they have to see them moving happily on with someone else. By contrast, Phyllis and Nick seem like little more than a powder puff couple, who don't seem to have one single regret for their part in the pain they caused. It's all about them and the next time they can bounce on the bedsprings. I haven't heard Nick mention Noah in ages. And it has nothing to do with who did what to whom in the marriage, who cheated first, or any of that. Speaking for myself, it would be a lot easier to accept them if they could manage to temper their over the moon joy with a little compassion and understanding. Instead, it's as if they could care less about people who once meant so much to them, especially with one being the mother of his child. Just my opinion, I know many will vehemently disagree.

When it comes to Colleen W. Carlton, the W standing, of course, for wail, whine, whimper, and wah, wah, wah, I bet not many fans will disagree. In my book, if I kept such a thing, there would likely be found an overused clich for just about any thing, any body, and almost any occasion. For Colleen, the one that immediately comes to my mind for mangling purposes is: girl, if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen, get your whispery-talking self the heck out of Dodge. "JaaayTeeeee," she whined, flipping her hair out of her eyes about three and a half times, as she dragged his initials out to about four syllables. "I hate that you're" flip, flip, "keeping secrets from" ... voice dwindles down from an annoying whine to an equally bothersome whisper that is more breath than word sound right about here ... "me." Flip and a half. Forget that it's the man's job, such that it is. Client Confidentiality? Pshaw! To Colleen, that's just two words that happen to begin with the letter 'C". When JayTeee remained measurably unmoved by her batting eyes, the hair that kept falling into them or the last breathy me word that made me, at least, long to scream "What? What's that you say?" at the screen, her response was "well, then, I see I have some decisions to make." When I finished laughing myself silly at that empty threat, I got up off the floor and resumed watching the show. What kind of decision was she referring to? Because I'd bet my remote control - the only thing standing between me and repeatedly hopping up and down to fast forward through the commercials manually - she's not about to walk out on J.T. and leave that man muffin for some other pouty woman to munch on. All because J.T. didn't tell disclose that Daddy hired him to poke through Korbell's past. And J.T. wants to know if there's something his lady isn't telling him about her relationship with Korbel. Hmm, J.T., ya think??!!

So what does everyone think of Gloria's new look? Improvement? Or not? Well, call me crazy, but I prefer her pre-makeover look. And speaking of the wide-eyed one, who would you like to see paired up? Will and Jill or Will and Gloria. I guess for me, its six of one or half dozen of the other. Even though she's up to her usual tricks, making herself into the cardboard cutout she thinks the man in her sights would be most likely to tumble for, I'm really not against her finding love with her next victim. Sure, Jill saw him and sampled him first, but you know what they say. All's fair.

Having nothing whatsoever to do with fair, what about Ashley getting kicked off the Genoa City canvas? While rumors have been abounding for months, it was still a bit unexpected. I guess it should have come as any great surprise given the storyline she hasn't had since forever. Just my opinion, and maybe not a thing to do with anything else, but that sperm thievery stuff left too sour an aftertaste in many fans mouths, at least it did in mine. I found I just wasn't able to still respect her the morning after. Poor Abby, a paranoid adopted Daddy who jumps at every shadow, sure it has come to steal his life, an absentee birth Daddy who hasn't seen her in months, a stepmommy/sister, and now a soon to be missing Mommy. So who's going to supervise Gloria and her dangling decanters now? Of course, if Victor has anything to do with it, I guarantee it won't be an Abbott. Unless it's Jill. Or is she still even going by the Abbott name anymore?

Did anyone duck in fear of a lightning strike when Jack told Victor with a straight face and not even a trace of irony in his tone how disappointed John would have been with his baby boy's lack of integrity and honesty? Talk about the pot calling the skillet names! So, what's Jack's excuse for his less than honorable actions?

Okay, I like Lauren, but am I the sole fan having a little trouble feeling pains of empathy? I mean, we are talking about an extremely wealthy woman, who could easily afford to hire some help. And why is she so tired? She's not working, why can't she sleep when the baby sleeps? I know, I know, I smell another social issue coming down the pike. Like postpartum baby blues, if I'm getting the term at least half right. Wait, mommies, before you come down hard on me. I'm a mommy too, so I know it exists, but thankfully, didn't have them. Oh well, many of us are always clamoring for a little real life-isms. I guess we're getting our wish.

And finally, is there any occupation under the sun that Jill of all Trades Jana has not done or cannot accomplish? From skydiving to dirty diapers, you come up with it, and I bet Jana has done it.

Well, I'm sure there's plenty I've left unsaid, but there always has to be a stopping point, and I've chosen this one to be mine. Before I turn it over to the fans, I'd like to wish you all a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

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SHALAY - Ok, first I need to say I am tired of Ashley's high horse stomping on Gloria. Didn't our "beloved" Ashley steal sperm, had a baby and went crazy by catapulting herself back to 1989? As for Jack I cannot wait for him to go down. Victor is more upset that he took advantage of him when he was ill more than getting the company. Jack could have just skipped the NVP stuff and been upfront. Victor would have given it to him. But no, he had to get revenge on Phyllis, and use Victor. That is what is making him mad. He may not have liked Jack as a businessman but had respect for John and his family. He thought Jack wouldn't go that far but he did and now he must pay. I have been waiting for months for Victor to come back to himself again.

DEB - I think viewer Sheila has figured out the Mesta murder! Her guess is that the new guy, the bartender from Indigo (that we only saw one episode that was hitting on everyone) is the murderer. This DOES make perfect soap opera sense.

EYES1573 - Ok, how much longer am I going to have to suffer through this Nick/Phyllis thing? Enough already! I cannot believe the fans think this relationship is so wonderful. Have we forgotten all of Phyllis' misdeeds? I find it hard to believe Nikki actually said she's tired of Jack and Sharon flaunting their relationship. I was like what?! Did you forget that your son knocked-up Phyllis while he was still married to Sharon? How much flaunting do ya get, then to have Phyllis walking around with her gut in her face? Come on Nikki.

NERO - Carmen, we hardly knew ye. And that is the problem. These "whodunnits" only work for me if I really loved the victim or really loved to hate them. I felt nothing for Ms. Mesta. Her behavior wasn't any worse than that of the Genoans who are suspects in her murder. If they killed off every adulterous schemer in GC, we'd be watching the "Esther Show". The truly horrible thing is realizing that, once this endless investigation is over, we have to sit through that dreaded daytime staple: the courtroom drama, LOL! Those are my least favorite stories in soapdom. Plus, this Mesta mess is keeping other plots from developing. We're so busy with the murder that there's been no activity on "One of Our Sheila's is Missing", "The Reluctant Reliquary", or "That Darned Jana" storylines. I want to see some action and I don't just mean "101 Ways to Murder a Mesta". The show is so dull right now I'd even welcome a return appearance of "Goy" George and his thigh thuggery! And please, writers? No love scenes between Ashley and Mr. Kim. The poor man might choke to death on the dust!

CHANDRA - Nita, I love your column and learn a lot about Y&R just from reading it. I am not able to watch the soap daily, so your comments are insightful. Also, reading all the fans' comments are helpful as well. I've been watching Y&R for many, many years. Now it is boring. Too many of the females are weak or obsessed. There is no consistency or depth to the characters. Thanks again for the comments.

BETSY - Watched Monday twice. As they panned over Michael's suspect board. Way at the end is "David Chao" -motive jealousy/revenge/financial. They put Daniel Romalotti's name up there - panned it again. So viewers got two chances at the clue. But I doubt anyone saw it. I'm thinking ... that's whodunit. They gave us the clue, but so obscurely that we all just passed over it.

NAN - I quit watching Y&R in 2003 after having watched from its inception. I just recently started watching again, but I promise all involved that if crazy Newman and his Stepford wife 'bring Jack down' I will walk away again forever. Let's see, Newman used to have his first wife's lover locked away in his basement. Nikki was a runaway stripper. Lawyer Baldwin a convicted rapist. And we have to 'bring Jack down'?! Argh!

DEE - Clearly the murderer is the over-friendly bartender at Indigo. He's so sweet faced and outgoing, who would suspect he's a hit man, probably hired by the past married, big-time executive-lover dear old Carmen blackmailed out of big bucks. To go in another direction, I think everyone should just shut up about the way Y&R is going right now. Obviously the show is in a state of transition, so let's all just relax and let it find its way. It's really silly to read all the complaints and then have the writer end up saying it's the best soap on TV. With all its flaws, it is. Give 'em a chance!

CABC - I agree Nita, I'm finding more excitement in your column, and the message boards w/ the fans then the actual story. Huge mistake with the old Lily. I've had an opportunity to watch the original Lily, and it occurred to me why I object to the old Lily. I'm sure she's a great actress, however, given a decent role to play, if her daddy was white. What are the casting crew looking for when they cast actors? The Winters are clearly portrayed as an all American black family, so how is it that they've decided it's ok to cast a young lady who's clearly of mixed race? Example: Noah Newman has two Caucasian parents, so therefore he's Caucasian. Billy Abbott has two Caucasian parents so I bet when you cast the new Billy he two will be Caucasian. The old Lily looks adopted! I'm sorry but I find it insulting to black viewers that's it's ok to cast an actor because she has black in her! If you really believe this is not a factor, then when you replace Billy, find one who is of mixed race and see how well that goes over with your Caucasian viewers. After all both his parents are of the Caucasian persuasion. But that shouldn't matter right? Because if you can do it to the Winters and expect black viewers not to have a problem with it, then let's be fair to all. Add a little more color to the show. Let Nick and Phyllis's new baby come out with a little color (smile). We only have two blacks on the show as it is! Come on Y&R, can we be a little more ethnic sensitive! The old Lily clearly has no flavor, sass, or attitude to continue to play Dru's daughter, she almost comes off as fake. Please, please, please, let Victor leave Nikki's ass again so she can come back down to earth! This acceptance of Phyllis with Vic and Nic gives me a migraine! What the hell is going on? I like Red, but she's still a trick! I hope she ends of owning half of Newman when it's over, because my girl Phyllis is not to be messed with. Hey maybe that's what the writers are doing. Phyllis is just the one to do it to. Remember she's still the most cunning women on the show, now that would be an excellent s/l. I still like Gloria and her boys, I know, she's no good, but she's still a jazzy little dame to me, I want them to keep her, she adds excitement to the show.

LATOYA - I totally agree with your comment concerning the double standard Victor is showing towards Sharon/Jack. I think he is just against it simply because it is Jack. He needs to stop stating that it is because they are moving too fast. If he says that one more time, he should get struck by lightning for being unfair. They are really messing over my girl Drucilla. I mean, the old Drucilla would have found some way to get back at Carmen without being so wild and crazy. The writers are really messing up a good strong character. I agreed with Kevin about that fact that this is turning out to be like a clue game. The only person who wasn't implicated was Esther who somehow could turn out to be Carmen's mom. I mean, as farfetched as some of these scenarios were, why not! So are we supposed to believe one of the scenarios shown has to be the true scenario? I'm with you, it will be something totally out of left field that we did not even see. Last but not least, will Brad/George shut up about the reliquary? I mean he believes everything that happens in Genoa City has to be connected to him. Everyone is out to get him. It is not all about him. He is so arrogant. Please kick him off the show! I look forward to reading your columns every week. I am with the other fans, I love reading your column more than watching the show at this point.

TREY - Once again your comments were dead on. I do want to comment on fans disappointment in the change in characters. I, for one enjoy the change. Let's be real. If soap operas were supposed to be a reflection of real life, then their dead on. The fact of the matter is real people do change, so it makes sense for the characters to grow and change. If they stayed the same doing the same thing it would be boring. I was rather bored with this week, because like most of the fans I totally hate this whole stolen art storyline. I don't see where it's going. The character of Jana was the one interesting spot this week. Why was she so anxious to help with the art benefit? Who in the hell is she? As much as I'm enjoying the Winters being at the forefront of the murder storyline, what is going on with Dru's hair?! She always looks frazzled and confused. Are they doing that to her hair on purpose? I had come to rather like Nick and Phyllis, but this week my liking for them took a major turn! They were soo annoying this week! First of all, why would they be having sex so close to her due date?! That was disgusting! Even during her contractions, they still remained "fun and flirty," which was so unrealistic. It seems like all they talk about is what good sex they have! I'm over them! It was great to see Victor, slowing coming back to his past self. I love intimidating Victor as opposed to nice Victor. I guess a romance between Mr. Kim and Ashley is out the door since the actress was fired, but it would have been nice. One thing I am excited about is the return of Amber Moore. This girl was great on B&B and I know she's going to bring some much needed excitement to Y&R. One last thing. I tried, Nita, tried my best to be ok with the return of Khalil as Lily. But once again, she made me yell at the T.V. Ok, I give her this. I do like the intensity and delivery of the way Khalil says her lines. She may even be a better actress than Davetta, but she is soo whiny and so annoying that her valley girl accent makes me dislike the character. I liked Davetta as Lily. Sure her acting could have used some work, but I genuinely liked watching her! Khalil makes me wanna mute her entire dialogue! Bring Davetta back!!! Thanks Nita! Wonderful insights as always! Keep up the good work!

JUDY H - Nita, do you have a degree in journalism? I love your masterful, descriptive comments and insights. This is my first time posting here. Recently, on the B&B Scoops, the question was asked, "What would it take for you to quit watching B&B?" I'd like to ask that same question about Y&R. For me, it will be the sight of Amber Moore arriving in Genoa City. When she was on the B&B, the writers turned it into the Amber Moore show! Here's hoping we don't have to endure that on Y&R.

CHRIS - Ever thought that Jana could be the new altered Sheila Carter!

FAITH B - ARG! That's what I have to say about Y&R storylines lately. I hardly look forward to the show anymore! Gone are the days when you'd experience a heart stopping moment, for example, J.T. throwing caution to the wind and thrusting himself into the burning remnants of Gina's (I miss Gina's!) screaming out "COLLEEN!" Oooh it brings goose bumps to me now just remembering his daring rescue, of her from the walk-in fridge. And next time Lilly is on screen I will have to mute it because Khalil is NOT believable as a married woman! She sounds like a whiney, self absorbed, pre-teen that over acts every scene. I was so glad when she left and now my suffering has resumed. Colleen. forget it, she stinks. Who is re-casting these roles anyway? This is killing me! Please bring back the DRAMA...QUALITY DRAMA that got me hooked on the show 12 years ago!