Sharon walked into the graveyard and paused to sit at the entrance bench. She remembered the night's events. She had a flashback to Heather bleeding on the floor, wrapping her lifeless body in a blanket, lugging it down the stairwell, and tossing Heather's body into the river.
Sharon walked to Cassie's grave. "I should have never gone there. How did I think for one second it would bring justice for you? I need you to help me to understand how I did what I did. Help me understand why I do what I do," Sharon cried at the headstone.
"Have I always been like this?" Sharon asked. Sharon had a flashback to her mom, Doris, telling her that the accident that caused Doris' paralysis was Sharon's fault. "Maybe I've been plagued with guilt my whole life of things I couldn't make right," Sharon speculated. She noted that her life had been good, as well. "You are proof of that," Sharon said to Cassie. Sharon said there were some things that she would never change, like meeting Nick. She said no one had ever made her feel more loved and protected than Nick.
Sharon recalled meeting Nick when they were teenagers and celebrating his birthday. She remembered the first time he proposed. Then, she had memories of Nikki telling her that she was manic and not good enough for Nick or Cassie. She remembered a moment when she had enough of Nikki's snark and poured a pitcher of milk over Nikki's head to give Nikki a reason to hate her. Sharon wondered aloud if she had always been someone that created conflict.
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Sharon noted that she and Nick could always find their way back, despite conflicts. She had more flashbacks about Nick telling her that he loved her. She recalled a conversation with Nick after Cassie died about how Nick shut down, and it ended their marriage. Nick told Sharon in the flashback that he wished he could repair the damage and then kissed her. "Even when we weren't together, that unshakable bond was always there," Sharon said.
Sharon had more memories of Nick, such as when she told him about Frank and how she gave birth to Cassie. At the time, Nick thought Sharon was a virgin and was upset to find out that she wasn't. Sharon said she'd been scared that Nick would have run when she told him the truth, but he stayed. Sharon said he was a dream come true. Sharon shared her memories of Nick as a young father and of adopting Cassie. Sharon said that she was "so happy" during that time, and she cried that she should have known it wouldn't last.
Sharon pulled out a picture of her "perfect little family" of Nick, Cassie, and Sharon. She recalled when they gave Cassie a necklace with her initials engraved on it. Sharon said she hadn't known how lucky they'd been until that horrible night. She thought back to Cassie talking about going out. "I should have put my foot down and never let you go out that night. Losing you broke me. It broke Nick. Our marriage fell apart," Sharon cried.
Sharon said even when her life appeared normal, she was always on the verge of another downward spiral. She recalled stealing from stores, drinking straight from a bottle, and lighting the Newman's ranch on fire. "I was in the deep throes of bipolar disorder, and I didn't even know it," she added.
Sharon said Cassie's death was always hanging over her. "Everything I have done and everything that has happened has been because of that damn night," Sharon said.
Sharon placed the photo on Cassie's gravestone. She noted that Cassie would tell her there were happy times, too. Sharon recalled being pregnant with Faith and talking to Nick about his dream that they had another girl.
Sharon remembered thinking she was seeing Cassie, but it turned out to be Mariah. She had flashbacks of arguing with Mariah. Sharon remembered Nick telling her he had discovered that Mariah was Cassie's twin. Sharon's memories of connecting with Mariah were conflicted. Sharon had hoped Mariah was Cassie returning to her, but it had added to her loss when she wasn't.
Sharon said Mariah had resisted her at every turn, but Sharon had persevered to love her and hoped that Mariah would let Sharon in one day. A flashback showed Sharon telling Mariah that she felt like her mom. She gave Mariah a snow globe that had belonged to Cassie so Mariah would feel connected to her sister. "Thank you, Mom," Mariah said for the first time.
Sharon recalled things getting easier with Mariah after that. She said that she accepted Mariah for the special, unique person that she was. "She's your twin. That means that part of you is inside of her for me to love and hold onto, and for that, I will always be grateful," Sharon said.
"Being a mom to Mariah, Faith, and Noah has helped me get through the pain and grief of losing you. It helped me move forward, and I've had some successes," Sharon said. Sharon recalled the day that Nick told her the coffeehouse was theirs. She thought about Neil Winters offering her a job at Jabot and celebrating her graduation. She overshadowed her happy thoughts with memories of being raped, having cancer, and Rey dying.
Sharon said her proudest moment was opening Cassidy First Technology, transforming Cameron's demented legacy into a force for good. Sharon thought she had honored Cassie with the company. "I had no idea seeing and hearing your name on a daily basis would stir up so much in me. All the happy memories were being forced out with memories of loss," Sharon explained.
When Daniel had returned, she'd thought enough years had passed. She'd had no idea that the mere sight of him would cause "all this rage" to come rushing in and take over. Sharon admitted she'd wanted to hurt Daniel, and she almost had.
Sharon said she'd come to her senses, and then Heather had walked in. Sharon recounted how she and Heather had fought, and somehow, Heather had died. "I wish I could claim self-defense, but from what I remember, I don't see how that's possible," Sharon said. Sharon said she had to have blacked out, and not remembering was tormenting her. She begged Cassie to talk to her and tell her what to do.
"You're inside of me, just like Cameron, but you are my better angel," Sharon said. She wondered if she should turn herself in. She thought if she confessed to her crime, then the madness would end. "I will take my punishment and hope that my family will find some way to forgive me when they find out what I've done," Sharon said.
Sharon recalled happy times with Faith and Mariah. "My children are the best part of me and proof that I did some things right. I'm not all bad," Sharon said. She thanked Cassie and said she knew what to do. Sharon kissed her hand and laid it on Cassie's headstone before leaving.
Nick arrived at Sharon's as Faith was leaving her mom another voicemail. Mariah came out of the kitchen with comfort food. Nick said he had to go out and try to find Sharon and needed Faith and Mariah to stay home in case Sharon returned. They all lamented their part in Sharon's disappearance.
Sharon walked in, and Mariah and Faith rushed to hug her. Sharon looked at Nick and sobbed, "I'm sorry." "Are you all right? Where have you been?" Nick asked. Sharon replied, "I'm okay. Everything is going to be okay. "
Next week on The Young and the Restless:
- Daniel gets off his phone as Lucy is watching. Sounding confused, Daniel said, "Mom's not coming home."
- Sharon, in her living room armchair, said, "That's why I confessed." Nick looked at her and asked, "Confessed to what?"
The Young and the Restless airs weekdays on CBS.
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