Ding, dong, the doc is dead

The wicked doc is dead. Paul thinks Patty Cake did it. Dylan and Nick still have questions. Sage is having nightmares while Sharon remains blissfully ignorant about Sully's identity. Victor is bugged in more ways than one. Hilary is now on team Devon. Neil hit the skids while Lily and Cane secretly hit the sheets. Read all about it in this week's edition of Two Scoops!

Wow, the devious doc is dead! I have to admit, I did not see that coming. I was flabbergasted and taken completely by surprise. Kudos to The Young and the Restless for keeping me in the dark. Were you readers as surprise as I was, or am I the lone ranger on this one?

There's not much of a mystery about the doc's death, or is there? Paul is convinced of Patty's guilt and ready to close the case. We saw Patty have a flashback about the events leading up to the stabbing, so it does seem like she struck down the doc, albeit with extenuating circumstances, so why is Patty -- who is hitting just the right notes as vulnerable and traumatized -- denying it now? Both Dylan and Nick want more answers, so despite what Paul wants, I expect that the dynamic duo will doggedly keep digging until they unearth the answers.

I don't think that Sage will stop searching either. Her nightmares are just the beginning. I thought the one that Sage had Wednesday was a doozy. It even scared me. The more Sage holds baby Sully, the more she will miss Christian. She is going to feel in her bones that Sully is her baby long before anyone else suspects it, and no one will believe her. Sage's nightmares will continue, and she will be more and more obsessed by Sully. She might even run away with him. Sharon will probably be the first to figure out that Sully is not hers, but I doubt that Sharon will tell anyone until she is forced to do so.

Once the truth is out about Sully's mother, the truth about his "daddy" won't be far behind and will have far-reaching consequences. Victor will lose his blackmail leverage over Adam. Adam will have a lot of explaining to do to a furious Chelsea. Dylan will be devastated by the loss of yet another faux child. Sharon won't understand why everyone's mad at her because she only "lied to spare Dylan's feelings," and Nick will be ready to go after both Victor and Adam for their duplicity.

Who knows? This could be fun! New couples and new combinations of lovers, though I won't mind if Sharon and Nick work their way back to each other. As we approach another summer, I still think that their romance of two years ago burned up the screen -- as well as my brain -- and set the benchmark for on-screen romance. Hottest couple ever. Period. Adam and Chelsea are a close second, with honorable mention to Nick and Sage, Devon and Hilary (the early days), Victoria and Billy, and Cane and Lily. But, hey, it's only my opinion! How do you rate the lovers? Any pairings you'd like to see?

Speaking of Summer and pairings, what about Luca and Summer, now that Marisa and Noah have declared their independence? Seems apt, though I still don't get Noah's bad boy attitude. If Noah wants to hurt Victor, all he has to do is confess to the hit-and-run and take his punishment. Once again, it's the cover-up, not the actual crime, that's the crime, just like what Adam did. Apparently the Newmans -- and soap characters in general -- are doomed to repeat their mistakes, like rats in a Skinner box, and they should all be locked up in Fairview if, according to the adage, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Soap characters definitely keep repeating the same mistakes, just like writers keep recycling the same plots, so it makes me wonder who is more insane, the characters and the writers, or me for continuing to watch and hoping for a different result. I don't feel any particular chemistry between Summer and Luca, and I think he is too mature for her just like I think Marisa is too world weary for Noah. "Younger folk" are sadly lacking in Genoa City, so there really isn't a lot of choice for the twentysomething age group. That needs to improve if Y&R wants to keep drawing in new, younger viewers.

When Neil hit the skids and started drinking again, I started counting up the addicts in Genoa City. I only came up with four: Neil, Nikki, Billy, and Jack. I wondered how the percentage of addicts in Genoa City compared to addiction nationwide. Turns out to be about the same, just enough to keep an addiction story going for someone, somewhere all the time. For now it's Neil. That's okay, I guess. What else does Neil have to do? He has no job, he's lost another "love of his life" to yet another suitor, this time (again) his adult son.

It makes me wonder why Neil doesn't start spending some quality time with the son who probably needs him most, Moses. Is it time for SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome) to strike Moses? Is it time to give Neil a story about dealing with a troubled teen? Even though it would be similar to Ben's story with Max, at least we would be done with the Hilary triangle. With Hilary focused on Devon -- and why not, he's younger and richer -- it won't be long until Devon succumbs to Hilary's charms and is back in her arms. I'm all for that.

I am also all for Cane and Lily getting back together, even if they are keeping it secret for a while. They do seem right for each other, plus it would be nice for at least one set of kids to have both their parents under the same roof. It seems to me that every kid in Genoa City ought to have a therapist, what with all the kidnapping and kid-swapping going on.

Meanwhile, back to the lab, the delicious Dr. Neville needs to get busy on a cure for Ashley before she dries up and blows away. Eileen Davidson is so convincing as pale and frail that I keep looking twice to make sure that she's okay whenever I watch her on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I wonder how Ashley can keep such a devastating secret from everyone she loves and the ones who love her. I would have been telling it to anyone who would listen, venting over and over again. After that, I would have taken a twenty-hour nap and awakened hoping that it had all been a bad dream.

But Ashley is made of sterner stuff and will no doubt harbor her secret until Neville cures her or someone -- Ben or Abby -- ferrets it out. Abby's got time, a job in the lab, and insecurity on her hands now that Max has taken a dislike to her. Despite her best efforts, Abby is going to find herself on the outside looking in, and that will not work for Abby. I'd feel the same way, so like Abby, I'd take the easiest way out, which probably means divorce in the very near future.

The actor may have changed, but Billy hasn't. He's right back to his double-dealing, revenge-seeking, get-Victor-at-any-cost ways. One area where he may succeed at beating Victor is in the "how many times has each man been married to the same woman" category. By my count, Billy and Victoria have been officially hitched three times, so this would make number four, the same number of times that Victor and Nikki have been married, and each couple had one of those marriages invalidated on a technicality.

If Victoria and Billy do make it to the altar, you can bet the farm that they have years and years of divorce and remarriage ahead. If it's true that make-up sex is best, then Billy and Victoria have many good years remaining to them. Billy isn't going to change, and neither is Victoria, so like hamsters on a wheel, they'll keep doing the runaround.

You'd think that someone as paranoid as Victor would have his office swept for bugs on a regular basis, but it looks like Natalie has managed the impossible. What does she intend to do with what she learns? I'm still thinking crush on Billy. I'm also thinking that she will become friends with Summer and that Summer will help Natalie with the makeover that transforms Natalie from ugly duckling to swan. Billy may not fall for Natalie, but he will certainly use anything that she gives him against Victor.

It was nice to see Nikki support Victor when Phyllis attacked him, but I wonder if Phyllis gave away her game. Both Victor and Nikki were suspicious of her sudden withdrawal from the conflict, and we all know that it doesn't take much to arouse Darth Victor's paranoia. Phyllis and Billy need to tread lightly now because they do actually have a "snowball's chance in hell" to pull off their scam and defeat the Victator.

As Valentine's Day falls on Genoa City, the cards, candy, and flowers descend on one and all for that brief moment of happiness allowed before one little falsehood is exposed, which will lead to a devastating chain of events for the denizens off Genoa City. Put on your seatbelts, folks, because, in the immortal words of Bette Davis in All About Eve, "It's going to be a bumpy, bumpy ride."

See you in two weeks at Crimson Lights for coffee, croissants, and conversation. Our topic will be "How to say no when imaginary friends ask to borrow money." Until next time, fellow fan addicts, have fun with someone you love, preferably not imaginary, but better an imaginary love than no love at all. Thankfully, I have a dog.

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