Sharon's brilliant escape from reality

You have to wonder, if Sharon looked like Doris, would Doc Sam have been as hospitable? Probably not.

You have to hand it to Sharon. Just when it looked like her escape to Sedona had been a complete wrong turn, she gets carjacked, hikes a country road in four-inch heels, wanders the desert without a Moses to guide her, and lands in the safety of a bucolic barn in the middle of nowhere. That's one back-ass way to avoid prison and dump your troubles behind.

And the attractive, young vet who found her asleep in the hay, well he just had to be a swell guy who would take her in with no questions asked. Naturally, it helped that she was dressed like a hooker (isn't that what her mother said?) and had the face and body of a runway model. You have to wonder, if Sharon looked like Doris, would Doc Sam have been as hospitable? Probably not. He'd have given her a ride to the sheriff's office.

But that's what we love about the soaps, right? Sharon didn't break a nail or get a smudge of prairie dust on her face in her sojourn to the farm. Maybe she had a blister from those boots, but they sure made her legs looked shapely. I have to admit, I was cracking up when I saw her hiking in those things. At least Doc noticed that they were ridiculous...but he wasn't sharp enough to recognize that she had the face of the woman who died in the car crash just up the road. I guess the local newspaper out there in New Mexico doesn't deliver to the farm. Or Sam doesn't watch the news or check the web. No, that might complicate the story. This way, he's just a simple, humble vet who believes this gorgeous woman dropped into his barn from out of nowhere, and he's not about to ask any questions. Except what kind of white wine to buy for chicken stir-fry!

What's so shocking about this story is that Sharon's better off where she is, and she actually knows it. Could our perky dumb blonde have gained some wisdom when she colored her hair? The fact is that going back to Genoa City would land her in prison, probably for two decades. She might someday get the proof that she didn't kill Skye -- what did happen to Phyllis' memory card search? -- but since she escaped from custody and lied about being dead, Sharon will be tried and convicted. The alternative to that is life on the run with Adam. Now, I do believe that Sharon loves Adam, but life with him is too damn exhausting. It's one battle after another. Sharon came to the realization that she was through with Adam back in the motel, so we can assume she hasn't changed her mind.

So for now at least, she'll be mucking the stables and nursing the lamb and eating stir-fry with the vet until he figures out that maybe he should ask "Sherry" a few pointed questions, like her real name. In the meantime, everyone back home can wallow in the grief and sorrow of Sharon's misspent life. Doris can wail at Sharon's photos, Nick can dial up memories of high school, Phyllis can dream of resurrecting her love affair with Nick, Victor can ease his conscience by being nice to Doris, Nikki can sneak a few more glasses of wine, and Adam can whine like the whiner he's become. Seriously, give that man a violin because he just can't stop with the sad songs about his sorry life.

Adam has had a bad hand dealt to him. He is grieving, and he's sincere in his wish that he could go back and fix things with Sharon. However, he is the author of most of his calamities. Victor's been a nemesis, but Adam has played dirty. When you lie and cheat and swindle, sooner or later, you're going to have to pay the price. This is the price. Suffer, Adam, because you've earned it. What you did to Ashley and Sharon was loathsome.

There is one good thing that's come from all this. Did you notice it? When Adam went to New Mexico and tried to find the scene of Sharon's supposed car crash, he was driving. At night. He not only didn't have a driver, he was looking all around for Sharon. No glasses. Not even a big spotlight like the cops use. Yes, folks, Adam's blindness cleared right up out there in the desert southwest. For a man with retinitis pigmentosa, that's a veritable miracle.

Miracles seem to be everywhere on The Young and the Restless. You know what I'm talking about, right? It's Lily and Cane and the miracle of the graveyard visitation... which sounds like a Nancy Drew mystery. What the heck is going on with this story? Is Cane alive? Who did they bury? Was it another Phillip Chancellor II empty coffin bit? Maybe it's a ghost, although according the Patrick Swayze's movie of the same name, the ghost has no physical body to be touched or held. Lily most definitely touched Cane, and he left footprints, too.

So what is Maria Arena Bell selling us with the Cane story? It can't just be Lily's imagination. Lily didn't see the footprints. Hmm...what about astral projection or maybe parallel universes? Could Cane be alive in another dimension? Could Y&R be drifting into sci-fi territory? Uh-oh, are clones next on the agenda or the lost city of Eterna? Tell me what you think.

I wouldn't call Sofia's pregnancy a miracle, but it might be a colossal mistake. I'm sorry, gang, but do you really mean to tell me that a smart, ambitious, careful lady like Sofia was having unprotected sex with Malcolm and Neil? Sofia had no interest in becoming pregnant with Malcolm before they were married, right? And even if she and Neil were carried away that one time, a condom should have been a given considering the situation. I want somebody to explain to me why and how Sofia was not using contraception. Maybe it was a religious thing?

The scene between Malcolm and Sofia when they learned the news was priceless. Sofia told Malcolm not to reveal to anyone that they're having the baby until she visited her doctor back in Genoa City. It was a reasonable request, and Malcolm said, "Sure, baby." Then he picks up the phone, calls Neil, and blabs all about Sofia's pregnancy, completely ignoring Sofia's instructions. Do you know what I would do to my husband if he pulled a stunt like that? He'd be black and blue for a month! Sofia really should have smacked Malcolm upside the head!

I had a few stray thoughts while watching this week. Does Jack have a job anymore? What's he doing with himself since Tucker fired him? Who's paying the electric bill at the Abbott house? Another thought: why isn't Adam behind bars? Wasn't there a warrant out for his arrest for perjury? Wasn't that the reason Sharon tried to fly to Thailand a few weeks ago? Did D.A. Walsh drop those charges for some reason? Here's another question: Did Billy think offering Jana a raise was a way to stop her from learning that Lucy was the baby Billy bought from Primrose? Does that make sense? How? Finally: is anybody watching Nikki? Where's Katherine to question her buddy's sobriety in the face of all the stress involved in Sharon's death? By my count, Nikki's been drinking for three weeks without anybody noticing.

The secret of Lucy's true parentage is going to come out. Probably within a week or two. That's when all the secrets will be revealed and all the big problems will come to a head. Victoria and Billy's bliss will be blown to bits because little Ms. Vic is not going to be so forgiving of her hubby if Lucy is snatched from her arms. Hmm...could this be the how and why Victoria will reunite with Victor? Will she want Daddy to pull strings and get her baby back? Will Victoria be willing to give up Billy if that's the price Victor asks to make it so? You know the "Mustache" would exact some ultimate payment from his daughter, even when she'll be emotionally at a disadvantage.

Daniel may be ready for a rubber room when all this is done. He's already losing it. Phyllis will be applying pressure and so will Michael and Kevin. Daniel won't be able to keep from blowing up like a Jackson Pollock canvas!

Will Phyllis be writing a Restless Style cover story about her fooling around with Nick in the islands? Also, is Billy paying the travel expenses for all of these trips that Phyllis has taken for the magazine? I wish I worked for a web site that wanted to send me to Hawaii, Bangkok, and St. Martins! (Dan, are you reading this? I'm packing my bags!) No, seriously, has Phyllis heard that there's a recession in this country? All that traveling costs a fortune and she hasn't been coming up with headlines to go with those receipts. That's why her next expos should be about her cheating on Jack with Nick. She should put her own life under the microscope, since she's been so quick to judge others.

That's it for now. Can't wait to see what happens next week! Let's take a look at some recent notes from the mailbox:

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