The Phyllis love fest continues

With Michael the Magnificent performing courtroom miracles, Phyllis is liable to be on her way out of prison before she actually steps a foot in.

Can this woman just be sentenced already?! I admit it could just be me, but I'm so tired of chunk after chunk of Phyllis being forced down my gullet. Though I've tried to be objective, I just don't feel one single stab of sympathy for her. And no amount of Summer coddling and kissing as Mommy works her mouth pitifully is going to change that. Don't forget, Nick, she says blinking back yet another alleged tear, this is her favorite blankie, morning tune, nighttime croon, middle of the day ditty, peaches, corn, nightlight, etc. etc. We get it, Phyllis. You're a wonderful, stupendous, amazing, mommy, so spectacular, your husband is falling madly back in love with you. Yeah, I know she was found guilty but does anyone believe she will actually go to prison? With Michael the Magnificent performing courtroom miracles, she's liable to be on her way out before she actually steps a foot in. And enough, also, with the love fest Noah has for his perfect stepparent to the detriment of the mother who has fulfilled his every demanding whim since the day he was born. If I had a son like him, I'd likely secretly wish I could adopt him out. Sure, he's been through a lot these past couple of years. But it's so unbelievable that he would constantly show hate and condemnation toward Sharon, but show nothing but lavish love for the former mistress or his unfaithful father. Where's the animosity for the woman who slept with his married father, indirectly helping to break up his beloved family? No one involved has behaved any less abominably than any of the others, so where is Noah's loyalty to his own mother? Oh well, such is the unreality of soap life.

While Phyllis is practically being portrayed as the new Madonna, another mother's character continues to deteriorate. Is there any in Genoa City more wholly hateful and malevolently monstrous than Ms. Nikki? Remember, when family was everything to Nikki? Is her new focus on business above all payback to Victor for all the years he failed to put family first? One thing I have to commend Nikki for, however, is the fact that unlike every other Genoa Citian woman, she didn't risk a broken neck attempting to leap loins first into the linen with the first fella who longed for her. David Chow has tried just about everything, from frequently badmouthing her estranged hubby to constantly declaring his devotion, and all he gets is a smirky smile from Nikki that looks more like she's feeling pain than pleasure.

And obviously there will be no Father of the Year banners flapping wildly from his Genoa City rooftop for Brad either. Before it limps to a close, 2007 will surely go down in the record books as the Year of the Angry Child. Like everyone else in Genoa City, with the exception of Sharon, Colleen has scribbled her name to the lengthening list of those who have nothing but disgust for dear Daddy Brad. Once Adrian opened the canvas bag and showed Colleen the dirt-covered bones he'd dug up from where Brad thought he'd securely buried them, Colleen all but disowned dear old Dad. And on top of that, Nick's former forest doctor informed Brad there would likely be no more elevator encounters with foot rubs since she'd taken a job with Doctors Without Borders. Which led to that excellent scene of Brad sitting isolated in the middle of the Athletic Club dining room while others with friends had a high old time around him. I almost felt sorry for him, but then I caught myself and gave myself a good talking to. Brad's proof that on one's rise up the ladder, one really should treat one's contemporaries with care and kindness, because if one should have the misfortune of slipping and sliding down the rungs, a hand or two might reach out and try to break one's fall before one slams painfully to the hard ground. Unfortunately, given Brad's callous treatment of all he encountered on the way up, I doubt there's any who will risk so much as a broken fingernail trying to halt his head over tail bone tumble.

Sigh. If Sharon takes too many more steps down a path she secretly hopes might lead in a roundabout way back to Nick, I fear she may receive an injury considerably more painful than a broken nail. A re-broken heart. Now that Nick's vision has been affected by the blinding brilliance of the halo floating above Phyllis's red head, he's seeing her with new eyes, though not yet with a newly restored memory, and it appears all his recent declarations of undying devotion for and to Sharon may already be fading from the memory mass that still remains intact in his cranium. Too bad his change of heart couldn't have come before Sharon started feeling those old familiar pangs of pleasure at the thought of being Nick's once again. Isn't it enough that Sharon is wed to a man old enough to be called Daddy by her, and not in that playful closed bedroom door kind of way? Or that adding insult to injury is the fact that probably nearly every fan can plainly see that Phyllis, not Sharon, is the real love of Jack's life? Despite what the Senator might publicly claim to the contrary. How convenient that Jack should tell Phyllis how he's fallen madly in love with his wife, just as she's confiding in Neil that she might be back to loving Nick. Just my opinion, but actions, as many say, speak so much louder than any mouthful of insincere words. And Jack is careful to never miss an opportunity to act out his support for Phyllis. Along with her cheerleaders, Captain Michael and the rest of the pom pom thrusting, pleated skirt squad, Daniel, Nick and Noah. Lauren is, of course, the supportive squad spokesperson. In all of the town, Brad and sometimes Neil are the only men seemingly immune to Phyllis' sultry charms. Either way it goes, Sharon seems destined for a nasty wound to the heart. If Nick doesn't deliver the painful prick, it will likely be Jack, the moment Sharon arises and accidentally forgets to don those rose colored spectacles she keeps on the nightstand.

By the way, what was with Phyllis' oft-repeated refrain that Sharon needs a man to validate her so Jack should expect her eye to wander, presumably to Nick or another, should he be too distracted by his Senatorial duties to give her the love and attention she needs? First of all, what Senatorial duties will Jack have that will force him to depart from the City for parts far and wide and of extended duration? We are talking about Genoa City so don't be surprised if Jack is the first Senator in history who conducts his entire term's duties from his Newman Towers office or his den/office at home? And second, with regard to Phyllis' remark, what the heck makes Sharon any different than the rest of the Genoa City women who routinely start romping on new bed sheets even before the heat has dissipated from the old ones? Including Phyllis. Wasn't she consoling herself with Michael while recovering from the loss of Daniel? And wasn't her ardor heating up for Damon even as it was cooling toward Jack? And then there was Nick after Jack. Victoria was the same; she was trying on her new J.T. suit before she'd completely taken off the old Brad leotard. And Gloria. On to William while allegedly still grieving John. And Colleen jumped from J.T.'s bed to Adrian's in the space of an eye blink. More than once. So if there is something in what Sharon does that's different than what the other ladies around her do, I guess my pea brain is just too simple to reason it out. Just my opinion, but in Genoa City, and probably in every other soap city, seems like every woman needs a man to validate her existence.

Well, it looks as if yet another promising romance is about to swirl down the drain with the dirty dishwater. Now that Kay has deleted Jill's name from her will and goaded her daughter into delving more deeply into Ji Min's Jabot tie with Jack, the truth is surely about to set Jill free of Ji Min, where she'll sadly rejoin the ranks of the Chancellor Spinsters Three. Once again, the Chancellor fortune has proven to be more curse than comfort and has failed to buy those closest to it a lasting love. Esther, Kay, Cane and Jill must be extremely lucky at cards, because none of them have so much as a lick of luck in love.

Speaking of Cane, it's too bad neither Kay's eagle eyes or ulterior motive-uncovering nostrils are sharp enough to detect the deceit I suspect is running rampant in him. I hope I'm wrong because I actually like Cane and it would be nice to have at least one good guy in town, absent the usual dark and deceptive side. If in fact Cane turns out to be not the man he's pretending to be, then his affronted indignation over being lied to, when he himself is an equally large liar, is much overdone. But I suppose for now I should give him the benefit of the doubt as to his goodness and reserve any remarks against him for such future time should they become warranted.

Cupid must have a fondness for the Fishers because I've notice love seldom eludes any of them for long. Though Gloria doesn't usually get to keep the loves of her life long, she does get to enjoy them for a time. As of yet, with Lauren's ability to turn an accepting, approving eye on the antics of her family members, legal or not, the marriage between Michael and Lauren has been mostly good. And Kevin is proving to be no exception to the uncanny Fisher ability to land on his feet. It didn't take a plane crash for Kevin to forget the pain in his love past with Jana, just a brain tumor. Now apparently as much in love as he's always been, he even blackmailed his mother to make sure Jana would get the medical care her tumor demands. In spite of his Fisher clan status, I still like Kevin and rather like him and Jana together. In a town where romance has become as scarce as that proverbial hen's tooth, I guess I've just learned to take whatever I can get when it comes to love and cherish it. But will it last? Or does this mean that Jana is destined to become a sad statistic? No, I haven't heard anything, but ... there is that small matter of those Genoa City deaths that have happened almost monthly. Has Kevin found a forever love or will Jana wind up being September's death?

Turning to business, what in the world does Victor have in store for Nikki? The holder of her NVP loan, her marital assets pledged as collateral for methane cleanup, if Nikki doesn't tiptoe carefully around all the traps Victor has set, she could find herself broke and NVP-less. At least until Victor has a change of heart and she returns to the Newman fold. In the meantime, toying with Nikki like a cat torments a mouse, will never be enough to keep Victor entertained. He's loosened the noose around Jack's neck so much, Jack has forgotten it's even there, which means it's just about time for Victor to re-focus his steely-eyed glare back onto Jack to make good on his long ago vow to bring him ignobly to his knees.

I'll end with the sentencing. As expected, the parade began with Phyllis' detractors but ended with her friends and family singing her praises. So Sharon turned out to be the unexpected witness many message boards had speculated about as the rumored person who would wind up speaking in favor of Phyllis. Many guessed that it might be Victor, but apparently he's much too busy to be bothered with a little extortion trial. He had bigger fish he was trying to entangle in his nets. So, do you think Noah, the little Neanderthal in training, will be pleased with Mommy's positive remarks? Ha! Not likely, because the rumor mill whispers his explosive anger will soon be directed against Mommy yet again. Where's a strong bar of soap when you need one to disinfect a disrespectful mouth? Forget taking this mouthy little brat to Paris. I say pack up him and his eternal tantrums and let him join Daddy and Stepmommy high atop the pedestal he has perched them on.

And lastly, for all of you who wondered, I've been on vacation for the past two weeks, and my informational email passing perhaps across what amounts to the black hole of cyber space, was snatched from the electronic highway before it could reach its destination to my editor and is presumably living happily ever after with all those other emails we swear we sent out but are never received. Thus, he was as in the dark as all of you as to where I and my column might have gotten to.

Well, it's back to the real world for me. Here's what our fellow soap addicts had to say about what's been going on in the City of Genoa.

* * * * * * *

ANNE - Of all the ancient smelly mousetraps that soap storyline developers tend to fall into (switched babies, faulty paternity tests, fake marriages, returns from the dead) its sad to see Y&R's writers fall into the "unknown twin" trap. Nice as it was to see that fine actor recently portraying William Bardwell's return to our screen, what a slap in the face of faithful Y&R fans to offer us this old turkey! What's next? Will Dru clad in a blonde wig and dark glasses pop out of a room in the over populated Athletic Club to spoil Neil and Karen's wedding reception? Ah well, this is a soap, I suppose.

JOANNE - While Y&R was a bit better than it has been as of late, I am still extremely frustrated with the writing. I cannot believe the way Sharon is being treated by her husband and son for the sins of Phyllis! I was so happy to see Sharon stand up to both Phyllis and Jack when they were accusing her of getting pleasure out of seeing Phyllis go to jail and that she didn't deserve this! But then to see Noah say it's all Sharon's fault that Phyllis is going to jail and that he hates and doesn't want to live with her! What a load of garbage. Why does Noah love Phyllis so much when she is the reason his parents are apart? And, yes, it looks like good old Nick is regaining his memory and love for Phyllis. I had trouble holding down my breakfast after watching him tell his mother to respect his wife! Nice to see Phyllis has learned from the error of her ways as she gloated that Brad's life is a mess now and she can just sit back and watch his world crumble even more without doing anything to him anymore. What's up with Victor supporting her also? Is it just his hatred for Nikki that makes him support her? I wonder if he'll be the one to help her in court at her sentencing? Wouldn't be surprised. If the great Victor Newman supports her I guess the courts will forgive her and give her no jail time or any real punishment! Thanks for nothing writers!

DORISJO - I think dumping on Phyllis has been overdone. None of this would have happened if Nikki hadn't blackmailed Brad in filing charges against her. Brad lied and told Sharon Phyllis told Victoria about their fling but she didn't. Victoria had J.T. investigate and he told her about the fling with Sharon. Why does everything have to be discussed in the breakroom or in the hallway where anyone overhear what is being said? If Sharon had kept her mouth shut instead of approaching Brad about it every chance she got, Phyllis would not have heard the conversation. I want Victor to nail Nikki. She's got it coming. She stabbed everybody she could in the back, even her own daughter. Why is everyone getting abused and caught except the Fishers, who I just cannot stand? The writers had us believe Michael and Kevin had changed. They are just as devious and conniving as their mother. Gloria is by far the worst one and hasn't been made to pay for anything. I'm really tired of the show right now.

APRIL - In response to a viewer's question about "why Phyllis was being punished for Brad and Sharon's infidelity". Last time I checked, infidelity was not a chargeable offense (though a moral one indeed). On the other hand, extortion is actually a crime. Regardless, of how much you love to love Phyllis, she did indeed blackmail (extort) Brad into voting her way. Come on, please at least be truthful. Can you at least admit that Phyllis did blackmail Brad, and I know she did, because I saw the episode when she actually did it. Furthermore, she savored every minute of it, barely stopping to lick the juice of satisfaction from her lips. Yes, it was her, toying with Sharon about revealing all, that caused the cliff scene when Dru fell. I saw it, and I know it. Phyllis has gotten away with plenty. Phyllis is not being prosecuted for telling that Brad and Sharon had an affair, but for blackmailing him with that information (extortion). The definition of extort is "to obtain something from a person by force or intimidation", and that is a real crime if it can be proven. The tape proved it. Like her, but be honest.

JOANNE - I wish I could stop watching the Y&R but I guess I keep hoping something will change for the better. This week was the most frustrating and infuriating as I watched Noah tell his mother he hated her and then go over to his stepmother Queen Phyllis, hug her and tell her he wants to stay with her while his real mother watched! I said it once and I'll say it again - why don't the writers just throw Sharon in a mud pile and have Phyllis stomp all over her while she taunts her with the fact that she has her husband and her son now! Phyllis' own son would be in jail if it wasn't for Sharon as she convinced Nick to give up the evidence to prove Cassie was driving. Sharon had the skank and her crumby son over for dinner while Phyllis was having an affair with Nick and she had the nerve to sit there and make like everything is all nice. There are a lot of Sharon bashers out there but the only thing Sharon is is a bit soft when it comes to letting people take advantage of her including her own son. Brad is the only one who sees Phyllis for who she really is as far as Noah is concerned. He said she is nice to him because it suits her purpose. As soon as he gets in her way somehow - she won't be so nice. She has to put on a good show of being a good mom all teary and weepy about leaving her baby girl and her son for the judge and for Nick. Boo hoo! Judging by the look on Nick's face he's falling for her again. He can have her! Sharon is too good for him. I like how Phyllis makes Nick go into the courtroom so that she can rip into Paul and threaten him without Nick hearing. She never learns and she gets away with everything. Why do the writer's always make this the Phyllis show!?

BAJANGIRL - I don't know if the sad music and tearful goodbyes were supposed to make me feel sorry for Phyllis, but I lack sympathy. She herself said it; she lost custody of her first child when he was five. She lost it because of her antics, which included blackmailing Dr. Tim Reid to get her way. Now, years later, having apparently learned nothing, she does the same thing again, this time with even less of a valid reason. She blackmailed Brad and then used the same information to make Sharon's life miserable. She didn't do it in the heat of the moment and then regret it; she got mileage out of it. She wasn't thinking of how her actions could cost her her child, so why does she expect others to be concerned about that? As for her son, I missed why Jack gave Daniel a job, but how is that supposed to help him become a better person? I've always felt Lily and Daniel's parents and relatives did them a disservice from the start by not allowing them to face the realities of married life. They were given a place to live and walked into jobs (Dru even subsidized Lily's by buying Lily clothes and simultaneously getting her a big commission). At least when Daniel went to Phyllis with a dumb story about needing money she told him no. But apart from that, they've been enabled in every way. The end result is that Lily's still as naive as ever and Daniel has this sense of entitlement: first everyone was was being unfair to him and now he seems to be saying "I have a problem so cut me some slack". I know of people who have been fired for opening inappropriate emails in the office, while Daniel got caught watching porn twice and could've cost the company millions. Finally, since Michael used Kevin's ownership of the coffee house as proof that Kevin had ties to the community, had he sold it, and considering he hasn't been to Jabot in ages, couldn't April have asked the judge to revoke his bail by arguing he was making plans to skip town?

DL - Since we know Lily is not Neil's biological daughter, perhaps the writers are getting ready to shock us by discovering Devon is actually Dru's biological son. He certainly acts like Dru, self-righteous, prone to violence, no sense of irony (of course that doesn't distinguish him from any other human being in Genoa City). I'm always amazed at the Dru defenders who rationalize her violence by claiming she was 'just trying to save her marriage'. Now that Neil is showing some interest in a new woman, it's probably time for Dru to rise from the water and come pour bleach on the new ladies undies. I'll assume Dru is in a coma somewhere. Maybe Paul from As The World Turns can make a guest appearance and bring her back from that great hallway between life and death.

WANDA - Please, please, please someone put a stop to this stupid "trial" of Phyllis'. She keeps talking about never seeing Summer again. She didn't do enough to warrant any jail time, much less what she keeps "boo hoo ing" about. Daniel is in a lot more trouble than she is. TPTB act like his crime was nothing compared to what his mother did. This stupid stuff is taking up the whole hour every day. I am so sick of it being everyone's total waking thoughts and conversations. The new DA is so over the top with it too. She acts like she is prosecuting the "crime of the century". Surely she has some "real" criminals needing her attention. This is nothing compared to the things Phyllis has gotten away with over the years. Let it go!

JM - There are a 1000+ reasons I do not like the Nikki Newman character these days but last week was the final straw. I was very offended by her comment about Summer being in day care. When told the child was in the nursery she turned up her pig nose and snorted, "hmmm, Daycare." If her dancin' days at the Bayou would have continued and no money bags Newman would have put her up in the kingdom on the ranch, she would have been a working mother needing day care herself! I just don't think the whole stay home/working mom debate belongs on my fave soap and especially not from a character that's never even had to deal with that issue. Daycare was not a "choice" for me, as it's not for many women - it was a necessity! I'm cheering now for Vic to take Nikki down in flames!

BRENDA - One thing everyone (including the writers) seems to forget, Phyllis almost 'killed' Paul and Christine. She rented an automobile so it would not be traced back to her, waited for them to leave their respective offices and cross the street before she ran over them. This incident placed both of them in the hospital for several hours. She ran over them because they were 'in her way'. Why didn't she pay for that crime? I'm just asking.