Secrets and lies are bad, right?

In this backward-behaving burg, the answer to that depends on who's hiding the secrets and telling the lies.

Well, in this backward-behaving burg, I guess the answer to that depends on who's hiding the secrets and telling the lies. For even as these residents whimper and whine about how lies and secrets have hurt their loved ones, at the same time they plot alone and together in hopes of hurting the loved ones of others. And isn't it interesting how easily some of these people justify and condone the use of said secrets and lies, or lies and secrets of their own, to accomplish their self-serving agendas? After what I witnessed this week, I'm ordering by overnight delivery the heaviest duty rubber stamp my office supply store can find. With a big red H for Hypocrite carved on it. And once it arrives, you'll find me dashing all over town rubber-stamping every forehead in my reach.

Foreheads like Nikki's. Though the little hand of the clock had yet to fully circle its round, flat face from the moment Victoria spilled her philandering husband's secret into her mother's shell-like ears, and despite the fact she had earnestly pledged to keep her prim mouth pinned tight around it, Nikki was soon spotted with mouth flap unfastened, Victoria's secret bursting explosively out. Sure, I promised I'd say nothing to you, were the words or something similar Nikki was heard to tell hubby, waving a manicured hand through the air as if wafting the stink of her broken promise away. Brad slept with Sharon, she trumpeted triumphantly, as if Sharon slipping and accidentally falling into the arms of a man she wasn't married to would be a breaking news story for Victor. But there's nothing wrong with his memory. He's been there, could have done that too had he been so inclined. Of course there were a couple of important snippets left out of Nikki's secondhand version of the tawdry tale. Like the part containing Phyllis' blackmail, for instance. Nikki apparently believes placing that particular piece of the lie pie in storage might someday work to her benefit. So even as she condemned Brad, Sharon and Phyllis for their part in this perverted play, she made it clear she wasn't even close to being above using what they'd done as a way to circumvent Jack's candidacy, reduce his marriage to ridicule, derail the Clear Springs boxcar before it can even be hitched to the engine and whatever other damage she might be able to do. Shame, shame, shame, as Gomer would have said, on Nikki. She was well aware her daughter was still painfully straddling the fence of her marriage, contemplating whether to waste more seed and precious water in hopes of reviving the brown grass on her side, or expend her future energy and emotion to keep the inviting green grass on the other side nourished and flourishing. In fact she was surprisingly supportive with her motherly advice. So why then did she flip flop and make a bad situation worse by injecting Victor and his hard fists into the marital mess, at least until Victoria had made up her mind which direction to dive? Speaking of that fist flying, how funny that Victor's choppers were still pulverizing that piece of fruit as he one-punched Brad. He's lucky he didn't choke on it, forcing Brad to execute the Heimlich maneuver on him. By the by, were any other fans not surprised to see this confrontation play out in the break room? Yes, where employees, work, fight and ... well you know what else they've gotten up to in there. On a side note but still on the subject of physical fights, maybe I fell asleep and missed it, but I can't quite recall anyone drawing back an arm to deliver a resounding slap to Phyllis' face for going in search of man prey on Sharon's marital grounds.

But we all know that Nikki isn't the sole, nor the worst hypocrite in town. She has plenty of company. Her daughter for example, the second recipient of my rubber stamp attention.

How could you, Vicky moaned to her beloved in betrayed disbelief, hot, angry tears flooding her beautiful eyes before chasing each other down her cheeks. Tell me it all; a play by play she demanded. When? What? How many times? Was she better? Or was I? Were you doing it in New York while I stared worshipfully at your videotaped image whirling me about in my wedding dress? Do you love her? Does she you? Do you want her? Does she you? Her enraged reaction, of course, was perfectly understandable. She had every right and then some to her frenzied cries of foul, no fair, liar, cheat. Every right to expect answers to the many questions any woman in her shoes would be quick to blurt out. BUT THEN, after all her histrionics, her torturous imaginings of what she might have been doing the moment Brad was bending Sharon across the sofa cushions, she had to go and mess it all up by doing what she did.

What I want to know is what happened to tossing and turning through a sleepless night, soaking your pillow with scalding tears, drowning your sorrow in strong and image erasing drink or spooning up entire pints of calorie-laden full fat ice cream? Well, maybe that's what women do in my town or yours, but that's not the way it works in this fictional city. No sirree, in Genoa City, it's all about the payback and the payback comes quick. When life deals GC cheaters a hard, below the belt blow, they don't run to their freezers or pull the bedcovers over their hapless heads. Instead they make a beeline for one of their fellow residents. And Victoria didn't break the mold or think outside the box. So even as the echoes from her angry outburst were presumably still pinging painfully around in her husband's skull, she was already giving J.T. free samples of what Brad paid for with his marriage proposal.

But it wasn't that behavior alone that earned her two side by side H's. No, the hypocrisy came because of her failure to confess. Wasn't she just cryin' and complainin' because Brad kept his communion with Sharon on the down low? Wasn't it her voice I heard screeching about trust, honesty and sordid secrets being kept? So why then, though I listened quite intently, even pressed each ear in turn right up against my television speakers, didn't I hear so much as peep from her pouting mouth confessing her recent rendezvous with the resident PI?

No, just like so many in GC, they lie right through their orthodontically-improved teeth, keeping secret whatever suits their purpose, while demanding everyone else live by the golden rule. So though J.T. might not be her bro-in-law, and is no longer intimately involved with her stepdaughter, her infidelity made her no better than Brad or Sharon and in this fan's book, just as deserving of disgusted derision.

Okay, On to Phyllis. Didn't you just love her self-serving spin on her blackmail? I couldn't help giggling while she hastily ticking off names of all those she felt were partly to blame for her blackmail, sort of like a 'the devil made me do it rationale'. She did it for Nick, my left and right foot! She did it because she could and it gave her an extreme amount of heady pleasure to rub Sharon and Brad's face in the dirt until she drew blood. And the fact that it just happened to benefit Nick in the process was purely coincidence. And, by the way, Nick shouldn't have gotten to hot under the collar because his wife might or might not have had much faith in his business abilities. Because had Phyllis not intervened via blackmail, Nikki would be grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat from a board of directors seat. And Clear Springs would already be a fast fading memory. Of course that would also mean Nikki would probably have no need to go clomping down the campaign trail in search of something to call her own and Jack would be running NVP in name only because he'd be too busy making political promises he likely wouldn't keep.

I couldn't help thinking as I listened to Nick, Victoria and Nikki as they gave Phyllis a piece of their mind, though they could little afford to lose any, how everyone focused narrowly on how they were allegedly injured by Phyllis' decision to dissemble. Victoria's all bent out of shape because Phyllis didn't point out her man Brad was a cad, head and shoulders above any other cad in the city, when she'd had so many examples proving that indisputable fact I long ago lost count. And Nick's criticism came more from the holes her actions pierced in his manly pride. Yet what no one is mentioning is that a woman died because of the plot Phyllis put in motion. I guess for the Newmans that was barely a blip on their radar screen.

So incensed with their in-law, Ma Newman and her spaghetti-spined seedling were practically foam-mouthed with fury, they declared payback would come from withdrawing their agreement to stand at the altar in support of the couple already wed. Yeah the three of them took up valuable viewing time spewing their empty threats, when we all know they will just end up eating all those words and doing what they now swear they won't.

For those, self included, who have been scratching their skin bloody itching for Phyllis to finally get hers, I'd advise you not to get too excited over this obvious ploy to garner pity for Phyllis. Sure she might suffer for a few episodes, but this Teflon feline owns the company so whatever gunk you see stuck to her surface will only last until she can get her hands on a hot soapy dishcloth when all dirt will effortlessly be washed off and rinsed away.

And lastly, HHHHHHHHHH will be stamped all across Brad's forehead, down both cheeks even criss-crossing themselves as they march along his chin. Brad, ever quick to point a quivering finger of condemnation at Colleen for her secret love with Adrian, yet continuing to drape a shielding shroud atop all the secrets still to be uncovered. Like his behind the curtain machinations to separate Adrian from his hissing sentence ending, consonant dropping daughter. I swear I would change my opinion of her in a heartbeat if she'd stop talking like she's in some x-rated movie. I keep waiting for her to fling a feather boa around her neck, arch her back and eyebrows and hiss 'come up and see me sometime big boi.'

Leaving hypocrisy behind, it's time for a word or two about Jack. What a sweet little living room wedding he and Sharon had. Only room for one lavish nuptial event, I guess. Though I still find it difficult to believe each is head over feet for the other, their words at least sounded sincere. Of course, once Jack found out the truth about Brad and Sharon, it didn't take him but a hot second to start talking about distancing himself by annulment from the woman he'd just claimed completed him, or whatever. Well, fans, you all know I like Jack well enough, but though I halfheartedly tried, I wasn't able to muster up so much as a shred of sympathy when he discovered Sharon's extramarital and pre-marital excursion with Brad. Poor Jack, so sad to discover he might have been Sharon's second choice. Well, despite what I've heard or read of many fans' claim that Sharon always needs a man to validate her, I have a tough time picturing her standing on the side of the road begging for a beau. I don't really know why this is said of Sharon anyway. Other than poor Gina, Kay, and Esther, and for a long time, Ashley, none of the women in this town have been known to let much grass grow between their toes before finding another fellow to link arms and lock legs with.

But I was talking about Jack, not Sharon, so let me get back to where I was. Does Jack really have room or reason to cry a river of crestfallen croc tears? I mean, if words of truth were dribbled from Jack's lips, I'm sure they would say that despite his fervent vows, Sharon is hardly Jack's first and foremost. Come one, does any fan truly believe that had Phyllis been his for the having he wouldn't have snatched her back in his arms before she'd finished saying Yes? Sharon would have probably been knocked unconscious in Jack's haste to shove her to the soil.

But such is the air of dishonesty that permeates the air in Genoa City. No wonder these people have such a hard time telling the truth to others. They can't even admit the truth to themselves.

And finally, there's Gloria. May she get exactly what she's scheming for: William Bardwell. And, where can I get a drug like the one she's gotten her mitts on. What is it exactly? A love potion or truth serum?

Okay, so much for my opinions. Here's what you had to say.

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THERESA.G - The whole storyline of Gloria has GOT TO STOP. First she pulls one over on the most trusting of all John then she messes up Katherine, Ashley and Jabot. Still no payback. Now Jill who has always been played over since her manicurist days for once can the writers not give the women a break and let her have the man she loves even if he is a stick in the mud. Give her a chance, I'm sure she can loosen him up. As for the Newmans, OMG enough already, when will the likes of J.T., Michael and Lauren and yes even Colleen, Prof, Lily and Daniel return to some interesting storyline and maybe just maybe the writers can turn the newest lady in Devon's life into a love interest? I think he would make a really interesting leading man if he was given the chance and maybe give Cane a try with Nikki's campaign manager. I think her wit and his looks would go a long way in making an interesting combination.

GAYLE - Nita, as always you are bang on the money with your observations and analysis. I just can't believe how much Lynn Marie Latham favors Michelle Stafford over other actors on this show, especially Sharon Case, that she honestly thinks the fans are that stupid to believe these concocted pictures, which now supposedly point to Sharon as the cause of Dru's fall?! Clearly, for the sake of the Phyllis Show, Phyllis is only allowed a few days penance, then all must be righted in her world by once again having the blame and condemnation shift to Sharon; a woman who has been beaten down over and over again for the past year and half, and Phyllis is only allotted a week and a few days of blame for what in essence is completely her fault because of her blackmailing? I'm SICK TO DEATH of what LML is doing to this show. It's bad enough she's pandering the writing to the lowest common, disgusting denominator simply, it would appear, to pander to the Passions crowd who now seek out another day-time vice, but does she and TPTB truly expect loyal viewers of the Y&R to continue watch her destroy long-established, beloved characters as well? I for one will tolerate it no longer. Why the heck did they even renew Sharon Case's contract - just so they could have their punching bag, and a doormat for Phyllis and the rest of the Newman woman for another 3 years? I'm beyond disgusted with this show right now and I'm done with it! I love Sharon Case, and if things don't change, she should take a page out of Victoria Rowell's book and RUN FOR HER LIFE while she still can! I'll keep reading your column Nita as I can at least count on you to give an unbiased view of what is truly happening to these characters, something the writers of the show think we're not intelligent enough to figure out. Or worse yet, maybe they just don't care; as long as ratings are up, who cares about quality anymore, right? Wrong!

TELISHA - I just want to comment on Y&R. I have been watching it on and off for over 27 years and I am only 30. My mom has had me watching soaps since I was three. From what I am reading folks are having a lot of issues with the content, but I think it's outstanding. I am loving all the secrets being revealed and I can't wait to see what happens next. I want Sharon to be realized for the hypocrite she is. I want Brad to go down. I want Victor to tell Jack that he knows, but then I want Jack to tell Vic he knows about his bribery of the Senator. I love the Fisher/Baldwins. As far as I am concerned Y&R is only getting better. PS. I want Jill with JiMin. He's hot and she is truly meshing with him.

CASSIE - The phrase every dog has its day can never be over used, the Fishers, Phyllis, Brad, Amber etc will all have their day. I like Sharon, yes she has made mistakes so has Nick. Don't forget Nick slept with Grace on the business trip when Sharon told him their son was sick and she was staying behind to look after him now that was gross. Victoria is no better than Sharon, she and Nikki have both slept with the same men (Brad and Cole) so when you talk about morally wrong that has got to take the cake. I like that Sharon is being a friend to Neil, I think that's good of her in light of the fact that the pictures incriminate her. As for Daniel, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And his "friend" Amber, let's not worry, her day of reckoning is on the horizon. I do think some of the storylines need to speed up but I guess nothing happens before its time.

LINDA - I wanted to comment on Wilma's & Belinda's comment. Wilma - I so agree with you. Phyllis is an outstanding actress and Y&R would not be as good as it is without her, so I wish people would stop dumping on her and think about what the soap would be like without her. Belinda - I also agree that Sharon's performance was awesome, but did you watch Y&R when she and Nick lost Cassie, now that was an award winner performance. I record all 3 soaps back to back and I have never seen any actress do her thing as well as Sharon did when she lost her baby girl. Y&R has strong female actresses, with Victoria at the bottom of my list.

JOANN - Oh what a hypocrite Victoria is! She is sleeping with her stepdaughter's ex, whom she "claims" she sometimes forgets isn't her real daughter, not to mention the fact that the she is STILL married to Brad. So I guess the real question is ... do two wrongs make a right? Or should people who live in glass houses not throw stones?

MALIKAH - Hi Nita, thanks for all of the good laughs and insight into our favorite soap. It's incredible that Y&R has become the "Phyllis Show". We don't really know how or why, what's goin' on behind the scenes & what's the real deal. Too many viewers have also picked up on this. Lastly, it's ridiculous that Phyllis has seemingly and conveniently "forgotten" it was really Sharon who gave her some slack in realizing and convincing Sharon's then husband Nicholas, that Cassie was the real cause of the car accident and not Phyllis' son Daniel. Shame on you Phyllis for the way you have treated Sharon from seducing and stealing her husband to eavesdropping on a private conversation to then blackmail Sharon and Brad - regardless of their wrongdoings! Two wrongs do not make a right!

CARMELLA - Why in the hell was Victor still chewing that damn apple when he punched Brad? Was the peeling too tough or why didn't he just wait until he swallowed what was in his mouth? That was so crazy and humorous. I looked at the scene 4 times on SoapNet. Little things like this make the entire story so unbelievable.

JAMIE - I hate Y&R for ruining the best thing on the show. Nick and Phyllis. I think this should be the last straw with Nick and for all those people who wished she would have some backbone, I am in line with them. Yes, you did wrong. You apologized, cried, begged. Everyone in town is treating you as a leper including your own husband who you have stood by through him begging his wife for months to stay with him, was always there for him, was patient with his psycho kid to turn around, lost your job because of the affair, and then after he found out he was the father of your child told you he loved you but was staying with his wife, came back the next day after seeing her make out with his BIL, and you opened your door and heart again without questions asked. You agreed to live in the disgusting tack house to be close to psycho kid, stayed with him after he bought his ex-wife an anniversary present and didn't tell you, stayed with the ex-wife during the kidnapping, never revealed what harm you and your daughter were in because of the kidnapping. OMG I just cant believe all the things that she stood by him through.

RIKKI - I actually never really hated a character as much as I hate Nick right now. They have completely ruined the hottest couple in daytime, Nick and Phyllis. I am so disappointed and hurt that the writers would just make such a joke of Phyllis, make everyone turn on her with such a vengeance. She is getting more daggers in the heart than Brad, who actually cheated on his wife with his SIL. It's incredible when Phyllis has that scene with Nikki and Vikki and she says "are you kidding me? I'm going to take the heat for this when Sharon and Brad are the onea that cheated??" and Nikki says, yea just blame everyone else, next you will be blaming me. I thought to myself, who is writing this crap? Everything for plot devices. JM was threatening not to sign so they wanted to show him he could be killed off, he wasn't needed, and in the process Phyllis had to go down with him? Making her act even more pathetically than she has when it comes to Nick? Michael should have grabbed her and locked her in Sheila's cell and not allowed her to go to the wedding, draft up divorce papers for her and not allowed her to see Nick. I could understand him talking to someone about being upset with Phyllis but he is talking to his ex wife, his sister, whining to his father. Holy crap Nick, you are not God's gift. She will find another. Go back to your psycho son and Juliet and get out already. And, after days of hell, what the hell can he say to Phyllis in a 2 second conversation that is going to wipe away how horrible he has been? After JM's comments in the mags and our distrust of Nick and his feelings, how can we ever trust him again, trust their love? LML played dirty with this one, and just like Nick said, nothing will be the same again.

CORI - I am so disappointed in what was once incredible potential Nick &Phyllis had. Now that has been inexplicably squandered. They had it all and it was purposely snatched away from them. The hottest couple EVER on daytime and they have been reduced to ashes. I have been watching soaps for 35 years and I am deeply saddened that what once was the promise of an exciting, adventurous, ultra sexy and romantic storyline between Nick and Phyllis has been dropped and made into only plot driven storylines. These characters are the reason I even started watching Y&Y and what kept me tuning in and holding on but now I have nothing to hold on to. I adore MS and Phyllis and I want to see her happy and with a man that will respect her and love her wholeheartedly. I read an interview with JM whereas he insinuates that after Phyllis' lying to him, he only goes through with the wedding ceremony because it was too late to cancel and he owed it to her after she helped him through Cassie's death. How horrible that was to read. This fan base is large and proud and we believed that their love was special and like no other. I hope that the writers rectify this.

CAROLYN - Just had to chime in on this past week's epis. I am getting really sick of Victoria. How many lies is she going to let Brad/George get away with? I really hate it when women say that because they are pregnant, they need to stay with a no-good man! Brad/George is no good ...period! A pretty face only goes so far! The way Victoria talks to Victor ... even if she doesn't agree with him, she could show him some respect, as he is the only father she has and if it wasn't for him, there would be no Newman Enterprises for her to run. I don't feel sorry for her at all, the writing is on the wall and she refuses to see it! Brad/George will lie to her again (actually, he already did when he told her that that night with Sharon meant nothing. If that's the case, then why was he just recently playing tonsil hockey with Sharon and professing his love to her?) What a colossal loser! Phyllis actually feels remorse for doing something wrong? GMAB! She only confessed because she didn't want anyone else to tell Nick what she had done! Nick will probably still marry her, but watching her frantically wonder if the wedding will still take place was priceless! Poor Jack ... always second choice! Sharon lied right to his face and he bought it hook, line and sinker! Why is it when people cheat with another's spouse, they have the audacity to say they are sorry, or that they never intended to hurt anyone? What do they think cheating does? It hurts! The only difference between Phyllis and Sharon is that Sharon hasn't tried to kill anyone. Other than that, she is just as much an adulterer as Phyllis! I hope Neil stops drinking! Glad to see that J.T. has found something else to do besides stalk Adrian and Colleen! I like Adrian and Colleen (sometimes Colleen annoys me, especially when she wants to act all lovey-dovey in public with Adrian knowing full well that they could still get into lots of trouble). I wish he wasn't her professor. Then again, what fun would it be if he was just some regular, gorgeous guy? I can't stand Amber! I didn't like her on B&B and I don't like her now! I sure wish Cane would wake up and really start to ask questions about his wedding night You'd think he would be suspicious of a night he has no memory of! Victor punching Brad/George was priceless! I like JiMin and Jill together as well. I think JiMin is so sexy, totally dislike him being a lapdog for Jack! I wonder if Gloria will still find William Bardwell a catch after he prosecutes her for tampering with the cream! Lastly, love Y&R and will miss Victoria Rowell. I liked Dru at times and liked to dislike her at other times, but no one played Drucilla Barber Winters like VR! She will be missed!

DR. SOAPS - GC Resident Prescriptions: NICK: Eye-opener drops. VICTORIA: A Shock; since everything seems to stun her. BRAD: Pacemaker; needs to keep his heart (and his hands) in his own shirt. BRAD: New Analysis: No medication has any effect. Beyond Treatment. COLLEEN: cough syrup; seems to have developed some raspy fur ball down her throat when talking to Adrian. PHYLLISS: A conscience. VICTOR/JACK: Ego-reduction and voice volume reduction. Surgery scheduled asap. NOAH: A good slap in the face. SHARON: Pity Party Potion with a side order of extra pout. NEIL: Strong "Coffee". DANIEL: Sex-Ed Course. MICHAEL: Never mind, he is the psychiatrist. GC residents labeled: Nut cases! Nita, you've done it again. Your column was humorous, inspiring and wonderful. Keep it up!