Who's hot and who's not?

What makes a couple captivating? When it comes to Genoa City, who passes the chemistry test and who doesn't?

Okay, here's a question for all those caring to weigh in with their opinion. What makes a couple captivating? When it comes to Genoa City, who passes the chemistry test and who doesn't? Is your TV screen smoldering when Mac and Daniel gaze into each other's infatuated eyes? What about Bobby and Brittany? Do wisps of steam materialize above their heads when they're clasped in one another's loving arms? And for those committed couples, do Brad and Ashley make your heart palpitate with pleasure or do you find yourself wondering if someone bumped their skulls gently together would any sense be knocked into the space between their ears? What about Dru and Neil? Damon and Phyllis? Danny and Chris? Lauren and Paul? And most recently, Jack and Jill?

Since I'm on the subject of couples, Laurel and Hardy a/k/a Kevin and Michael were quite the comedy couplet this week. Even though I had the urge to reach through the screen and wipe the congratulatory smirk off Kevin's mouth, I still couldn't help but laugh at his antics as he prowled around Weber's office munching on the pilfered pastry. And I dropped my remote right into my buttered popcorn when I saw what happened to Weber's face during the course of their conversation. Once I had picked it up and wiped it off, I immediately stabbed the rewind button to make certain of what I saw. Were those actually teeth I saw plainly between the top and bottom lips of his laughing mouth? I've become so accustomed to his unsmiling countenance; his ear to ear grin almost frightened me to death. Anyway, I find it a little hard to believe Kevin would be out of the criminal woods so easily. He might not want to plan any celebrations right away. Of course, with the penchant in Genoa City to leave loose ends flapping indefinitely, I could be wrong about him ever getting his comeuppance.

Listening to Jack rant and rave about the multiple injuries Victor has inflicted on the lives of him and his immediate family members made me want to toss him half a dozen chill pills to chew on. But in the end the only antidote Jack needed to rid his soul of the permeating Victor poison was a rousing pep talk by Jill. By the way, it was a wonderful change to see Jill focused on something other than her mother related ills. Listening to her passively accept the possibility of a temporary or permanent shutdown of her men's line for the good of the Company made me realize just how much Jill has changed over the long, hard years. Now, was I the only fan who though it presumptuous of Jack to so freely share with Jill the Abby bio daddy news? Funny that the open secret half of Genoa City is now in on, has still not been whispered to John. I can't wait to hear what wise, comforting words Papa Bear Abbott will use to whitewash what his Goldilocks has done. At least he won't have to chastise his Beauty for her choice of who she let sleep in her bed.

The way Jack was talking, I began to wonder if it might be possible a murder attempt was soon to be made against Victor in the coming days ahead. Not that Jack would be alone on the short list of possible perpetrators. Brad would be crowding him for most likely suspect. Speaking of Brad, the strongest chill pill in the world couldn't have settled him down. He started by turning up the flickering flames on his fermenting fury by indignantly reminding Ashley for the umpteenth time every last one of the secret, sordid steps she'd taken to secure for herself a Newman heir. Apparently only pretending all these months to have forgiven and forgotten, Brad filled the Jabot boardroom with all the pent-up hot air he's been holding inside, blasting his Victor-besotted bride for her despicable deceit. Remembering all those long ago dark, despondent days, excluding the ones he devoted to cheating on his wife with her supposed best friend, of course, must have been like pressing hard on a still painful sore, and once he'd expelled some of his rancorous rage against Ashley, he hurriedly leapt aboard his burro of blame and rode it hard straight to the Athletic Club, where he somehow must have known he'd find his most mortal enemy.

Now when it comes to issuing empty threats, no one does it better than Bradley and this time was no exception. Fortunately for Brad, as always, he selected a well-populated place for his cantankerous confrontation with Victor. This time it was Jack who happened along in the nick of time to stop Brad from attempting to beat the stuffing from Victor's arrogant body. Ha! Just once I'd like to see what would happen if there was no 180 pound plus male obstacle ready to block one or more of Brad's irate punches. This wasn't the time, however, as I said, Jack stepped in as voluntary referee, and if I'm not mistaken, he probably had more trouble holding back his laughter than keeping Bradley at bay. I'd already had a giggle or two over the vein-popping vitriol Brad directed at Ashley, whose face and body language clearly showed she was all done saying sorry for what she'd done, but it got even funnier when he started in on Victor. Puffed up like a big helium balloon, blowing heated air in Victor's direction. How ridiculous he sounded. Victor had no need to fear he might be blindsided with a punishing punch to the solar plexis. Nor did Jack have to worry that his face might inadvertently intercept a wild blow meant for Victor. Because, along with Victor, anyone even half familiar with the good menfolk of Genoa City, know that when it comes to our man Bradley, he's all loud barks and no bite.

It looks as if Jack's recent decision to resurrect old Smilin' Jack to save the day comes a little too late. Urged prettily by his Juliet, Victor, her gruff Romeo, has agreed to return to the bargaining table with a serious settlement offer in his leather briefcase. But this is Victor Newman, so none were surprised to learn certain as yet unnamed strings would be securely stapled to the sheets detailing settlement. Brad and a few faithful fans are guessing the attached strings might be tied to Abby's pretty pinafore, but I place my speculative wager in the pile with those believing the strings more likely have to do with removing for good the painful Jack thorn stuck so long in Victor's side. It's more than possible Jack's oft uttered phrase "I'm CEO of this Company" will soon be a forgotten figure of speech of the past.

Many have probably heard the latest rumor that there will soon be one less teen looking for trouble in Genoa City. His woman snatched away by Bobbyrino Marsino, no employment prospects in sight and therefore no possible way to pay his share of the bills, the gossip mills have ground out the crumb that Raul is going the way of his brother - to seek his future on more promising shores. Looks like J.T. is going to lose his bedroom-mate. But before Raul packs his back pack and heads for some college far from Genoa City, I'm guessing he will make good on his promise to remove the scar from his former darling's face. Once one of his magic creams and potions has mostly erased the scar that happened on his watch, he can leave the city with his conscience clear.

I know Brittany is currently in l-o-v-e with Bobby (yeah, like that's believable so soon) but I can't be the only fan who saw a tiny charismatic spark flicker for a moment between Brittany and J.T. this past week. Although it's been years ago, I haven't forgotten they once helped themselves to what the other had to offer at least once, if not more, and yes, it's a bit tacky that he also accepted a treat from Mommy Anita's goody bag, but with CC gone, Raul on his way and Mac unable to see past the stars in her eyes spotlighting Daniel, I wouldn't mind seeing what could happen between these two. As I've said before, Bobby and Brittany together don't do a thing to make my romantic pulse pitter patter. And my, didn't she sound like Daddy's playful little girl in her conversation with Bobby when he called to bid her a temporary adieu? I know age is allegedly nothing but a meaningless number, but in my opinion there are just too many of those between these two for my taste. If we're going to grab up our canes and go wobbling awkwardly down that slippery May-December slope, may as well point Jill in Raul's direction, send Lauren after J.T., and perhaps, since Brad is having such a tough time dealing with the repercussions of Ashley's secretive semen snatch, he could always attempt to entice Mac away from Daniel.

Am I the only one who finds themselves reaching for an Advil the moment Cameron Kirsten comes into view? Can this caper become any more convoluted? What is he doing? Why is he purposely tying himself to a dead corpse? Wouldn't it make more sense to play stupid like everyone else and keep insisting it was all in Sharon's mind? If he would simply keep his cards pressed tightly against his chest, Nick's so-called plan would die from lack of oxygen. Of course, that would mean this far fetched fable would never conclude, and that's the last thing I want, so the story continues. And for the next exciting chapter, we return to the Newman ranch.

Miguel, out of immediate sight (as he has been for months) if not mind, wasn't available to rescue Nikki's from Cameron's conniving clutches, and being that the ranch's security staff has proven long ago they're completely ineffective and a disgrace to their profession, Nikki was on her own. But she proved to be more than a match for woman-beating cowardly Cam and fearlessly gave back as much as he dished out. While Cameron might be able to fling Sharon and Grace around like they are little more than empty bags of bones (at one point in the week I was sure Grace was about to feel the hard, punishing side of Cameron's hands), Nikki stabbed him repeatedly with that trademark imperious nose in the air cold-eyed stare and forced him to dismount from his high horse and eventually amble empty-handed toward her front door. Although he tried to swagger manfully and menacingly from the premises, in my opinion, he didn't even come close to pulling it off.

While Cameron was engaging Nikki in a twisted game of "I dare you to knock this stick off my shoulder" her son and his wife were showing all the cards in their hands to Grace. Now that Grace has been given a list of everything evil in Cameron's body bag of dirty tricks, any guesses as to how long she'll keep it hidden in her haltar top? I'm guessing she'll be pulling it out and showing it to Cameron at the first opportunity. As long as the dew remains on their red rose of love, she's likely to continue to play along with his diabolical plan, probably even help him plunge the knife of betrayal deeper in Nick and Sharon's suspicious backs. But at some point, Cam's congenial mask is bound to slip so far Grace can't help but see the rotting skull beneath and will probably end up setting him up for a fall that will skid him right into prison, hitman, Gabe, dragged right along with him. Of course, that's for later, for now, the Newmans have figured out Cameron intends to frame Sharon for someone's murder, the big question on everyone lips is whose? This mystery can't go on forever, so it's probably time for a second trip to the Genoa City sewers. And we'll be right there beside them with our face masks and thigh-high fishing boots.

Damon returned from his travels this week, reminding me that I haven't missed him in the slightest. Forcing my finger from instinctively pressing the fast forward button at the first sight of him, my eyes glazed over as I listened halfheartedly while he easily evaded nearly every question asked during Phyllis's brief inquisition. I'm taking a chance of making a colossal donkey of myself by assuming all the references to his hidden past means he might actually have something back there worth learning about which might wind up making him a person of interest. I'm still placing my penny on Devon as a clue to Damon's past. Okay, while I'm talking about Devon, let's dwell for a moment on the pick-pocketing incident which sent the cop knocking on the Wreck Center door in hot pursuit of him. Was Devon just an innocent young man in the wrong place at the worst possible time? Yeah, I don't think so either. By the way, I watch COPS all the time, and can't tell you how many times I've seen them bring a suspect to where the victim can point to them and say yea or nay right then and there, but fine, in the interest of this one moving right along, I'll swallow the unlikelihood that this cop would so easily be deterred just by Dru's flowing fountain of Newman name dropping words. Lily's loan defense, and Dru's backing of Lily's lie is probably enough to cause Devon to have a renewed faith in the goodness and generosity of his fellow man and woman and could cause him to turn over a new leaf. It seems clear that Devon will soon be occupying a warm, safe spot under the guiding protective wings of both the Winters' family and the great and powerful, former orphan hood rat, Victor Newman.

It was home movie day at the Wreck Center, where the inquisitive crew of teens and those just past found an old movie reel and one ruby earring in a locked file cabinet. Since this is Genoa City, they were also able to unearth an old movie projector on which to watch it too. So who's the little birthday girl determinedly blowing out those five flickering candle flames? Who has just received a gift of a pair of ruby earrings? Some say she's Nikki. Others guess Sierra. Myself, I'm equally curious about the cute little black-haired boy right next to her. Does he play an important part in this mystery? This one's only beginning to unfold. It should be interesting.

All the week's excitement wasn't limited to the Wreck Center. Over at Newman, Neil made Phyllis' week by quickly agreeing to add her name back to the Newman weekly payroll. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Neil, Dru must have been seriously mulling over his half-joking offer of Newman employment. Because once she got to Jabot, after a quick game of show and tell with Brad and Ashley, during which Dru showed them the miracle of quick remove hair hunks and telling them ... well, tendering her resignation, she headed straight to Newman, where she demanded Neil make good on his boast of what he can do now that he's the Newman boss. While Phyllis' re-hire made some sense, Drucilla's, on the other hand, made none. For those who enjoy Phyllis and Dru's steady sniping at one another, this is probably a welcome development. I confess I'm not in that number and do not look forward with any anticipation whatsoever to their childish digs at each other. Even in the Genoa City land of pretense and fanciful fantasy, the idea of Dru heading up anyone's division is a joke that causes my tummy to clench in confusion. Are we really expected to believe Dru has somehow gained the knowledge to run an entire division, study sales reports, analyze sales trends and the like? Simply from all those long strides taken on a runway, endless clothing changes and her absentee duties as a supposed Tuvia spokesperson? Sigh. I fear the twisted strands of my suspended belief are going to be stretched to their very limits with this one. They may even snap and send me tumbling realistically back to my hum drum life.

The clock is ticking every closer to a showdown between Kay and her loyal concerned companions who feel an intervention may be their only hope of stopping Kay's slow slide into permanent alcoholism. Aside from Robert, Kay may well wind up being the only one rattling around the empty mansion and the only one available to welcome the two ghostly visitors from her distant past rumored to soon be scheduled to make a brief appearance. Since I was fond of both young Phillip and the dashing Rex Sterling, and confess I soaked quite a few Puffs with my heartbroken tears at their respective departures, I'm looking forward to seeing them again.

And finally, I think the sand has just about dribbled out of the hourglass for those intimately involved in the Daniel Romalotti cover-up. Hopefully Daniel will learn by week's end who isn't his Daddy. And my fingers are crossed that Phyllis will be the one to finally let the cat out of the bag. Where might that leave St. Christine? If dreams really do occasionally come true, then she could end up shoved right out of the family circle. Just in case, in hopeful anticipation, I'm keeping my cheerleader skirt and my pom poms right next to the couch.