Beyond the Gates: Four on the floor

The first week of Beyond the Gates is almost over, and today's episode made soap history – for once, Dani didn't hit anybody! More like hit it and quit it, but we'll get to that. Naomi went up against her dad in their initial interaction and enjoyed a friendship with Ashley and Derek as a connection was made between Laura and the Richardsons. Leslie played Mona like a fiddle to maneuver Eva into replacing Laura as Nicole's assistant, and a new contract player snuck in during Bill's surprise party for Hayley, even if (once again) we didn't learn his name. Oh, did I mention Dani getting to do someone – er, something besides bitch about Bill? Let's go over what we learned about this crew in Episode 4!

Dani's bad day became Chelsea's good day on Beyond the Gates

Chelsea was already having a hard enough time mustering up enthusiasm for her modeling gig, made worse by her contention that manager mama Dani, already fuming because of all the Bill/Hayley fracas, would stomp in and take her frustrations out on her. And that was without Chelsea knowing that Hayley tried to go all kumbaya on Dani, who took Hayley's olive branch and stuck it where Hayley's sun don't shine. Figuratively. Instead, Dani promised to make Hayley so miserable at Fairmont Crest that Hayley would be desperate to move. Anybody getting some Alexis/Krystle Dynasty vibes from the former Mrs. Carrington – um, Hamilton – and the about-to-be Mrs. Carrington?

Well, Chelsea called it. Dani descended on the photo shoot, dissing on Chelsea's hair and shoes – to the point the suave Andre pulled Dani aside and said she was taking all the fun out of everything. And Dani. Actually. Listened! Once Dani eased off, a good time was had by all, though not as good a time as would be had after Dani invited Andre to stay for a drink. I said we're getting to that!

If it could have been misinterpreted yesterday that biker babe Leslie had been the one to run poor innocent Laura off the road, we got confirmation today that Leslie had indeed done the deed and was damn proud of it. Les was the picture of cool as she called Mona, who was worried that Laura hadn't shown up for work. Leslie phoned Mona a second time and did her sweetest “too bad” upon hearing Laura had been hospitalized. Oh, dear, what was Mona to do without an assistant for Nicole? Mona lamented that she'd have to hire a temp...but wait, Eva could fill in for her, Les suggested! Having mad computer skills and all. Leslie could barely contain herself as Mona declared it the perfect solution.

I've figured it out! Yesterday, I wondered why Leslie would have targeted Laura, with whom she had no connection, but I did suspect it had something to do with Ted. After all, Leslie made super eyes at Ted on Tuesday. I thought maybe Leslie was going to be Laura's substitute herself to be one degree of separation away from Ted, so good on BTG for that twist. Just makes Leslie's motivation that much more intriguing!

While we didn't learn that much more about Laura, plot pawn as she seems to be, we did discover that Ted and Nicole consider her extended family. In fact, they arranged for all the care Laura would need during the 6-8 weeks Laura would be recovering from surgery to heal her displaced leg fracture. But why was plastic surgeon Ted floating around treating Laura and coaching new nurse Ashley? It's not like Laura was burned in her car accident.

Ashley got a chance to show some compassion by urging the shell-shocked Laura to “let it out”, even providing tissue. I like Ms. Morgan, but she seems a little milquetoast to me. I'm not sure what she needs yet. Maybe some more good lovin' from that hunky hunky Derek.

Like Dani, Bill's day started off kinda meh and ended not too shabbily. Bill tracked Naomi down to her thinking place and tried to make things right with his daughter. But Naomi announced that her father, who had been deliberately cruel in flaunting his relationship with Hayley in Dani's face by having his wedding at Fairmont Crest and moving there, was dead to her and wondered where his concern was when “you were unzipping your pants for Hayley.” Naomi's got a bit of Dani in her, amirite? Bill struck out with his daughter but at least got to first base with his fiancée, throwing her a surprise party though not able to start any other party when Hayley decided to go the traditional route and wait on more nookie 'til their wedding night.

Hayley actually seems pretty nice. And Bill genuinely seems to love her. So far, Dani and the Duprees seem like the antagonists! Now, if you blinked, you missed it – we met another new character today. Tom Navarro put in his first appearance, but you wouldn't know because all he got to do was cheer Hayley on in Spanish. And no, we didn't get his name. This bit of bringing characters on without telling us what to call them has been the biggest running theme on this show so far. Wonder what's up with that?

Day turned to night, and we found out that Naomi and Jacob are friends enough with Ashley and Derek that they hang out together. Ashley wondered if she'd made a mistake getting into nursing, as the reality of it was sobering, but Naomi and Derek had Ashley's back. As for Jacob, he reported that he got a new partner at the police station in the senior Marcel Malone and that Jacob's father, while a force on the force himself, was “an arrogant jerk.” Papa Jacob may fit in well at Fairmont Crest!

Stop! Hammer time! Following on Vanessa flirting with the second man in two days that wasn't her husband, trying to arrange a workout (is that what we're calling it these days) with trainer Diego, Derek brought the snoozy Ashley home and was ready to leave when Ashley got her second wind, wink wink. Wait – I thought from Derek's introductory, aproned breakfast that he and Ashley lived together? Maybe he just slept over? Meanwhile, Chelsea, who'd been making eye contact with a dude at the end of the bar, made her move after Kat left – the guy asked, “Are you alone?”, and Chelsea cooed, “Not anymore.” Ooh, girl!

And you thought I wouldn't get to it. I don't know if Andre's compliments of Dani were real or if he uses lines like that on all the ladies, but Dani didn't care. She very much was able to use the distraction of Andre telling her she needed to be honored and valued and worshipped and that Bill Hamilton was a fool. That was all the aphrodisiac Dani required because boom-chicka-wow-wow! She and Andre gave Beyond the Gates its hottest love scene of the series to date (sorry Naomi and Jacob). And it was nice to see Dani doing something else besides pissing and moaning. Well, she might've moaned; we went to end credits before we could be privy to that.

Yeah, this is starting to feel like a soap now, and tomorrow BTG is gonna go big with the wedding of Bill and Hayley! Did you notice in the previews Dani sitting there in a big-ass Alexis Colby hat? There's some Dynasty in there, that's for sure. Tune in tomorrow and prove that I'm right!

Beyond the Gates now airs weekdays on CBS and streams on Paramount Plus.