Disclaimer: This article is analytical and contains opinions of both Gilmore Girls fans and the author.
It's such an all-too-familiar term among fans of Gilmore Girls: Rory Gilmore Syndrome, or striving to be perfect and then burning out from all that hard work. It's named after the popular heroine of the show, Rory Gilmore, who was portrayed as the ideal student, dutiful daughter, and model citizen of Stars Hollow.
However, paired with a call to maintain her reputation, perfectionism eventually leads to severe anxiety breakdowns and terrible decision-making on her part. Fans on Reddit had a long time talking about how Rory's character seems to hold behaviors of anxiety, almost as if it's some toast to her personality, overplanning, and fear of failure, and these are rather what unfold when things do go wrong.
For the viewer, Rory is a cautionary tale: the pursuit of perfection, while admirable, can backfire, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and burnout. Through examination of the core of the problem called Rory Gilmore Syndrome and identification of its signs, we find ways to not have to struggle through the same things in our own lives. Here's how to identify Rory's traits in yourself and how to break the cycle.
How to know if you have symptoms of Rory Gilmore Syndrome, as seen on Gilmore Girls?
One of the main features of Rory Gilmore Syndrome is an overwhelming performance pressure to meet impossible expectations—something some fans on Reddit have noticed, the symptoms quite closely resemble symptoms of an anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).
Those afflicted with this syndrome suffer from perfectionism pressure while keeping the real issues under wraps. Rory is the embodiment of this attitude: she carries the dreams of her parents as well as the entire town upon her shoulders while making a real attempt to live up to the impossible ideal.
While Rory's perfectionism and constant planning are treated as a cute quirk, it spirals so often when things don't go her way. This is when one realizes just how bad the mentality is. The "Rory Gilmore" stereotype cannot help but appear alongside at all times, and never present vulnerability to others. The storyline about Rory repeatedly praises her ambition but forgives how that very fact discludes her and pushes the barrier of self-acceptance.
Many Gilmore Girls fans perceive that Rory's story may have unfolded differently if only she consulted therapy sooner instead of hiding her emotions. Rory's story describes how being a perfectionist and planning every detail can lead to setbacks, and that consequently affects her mental health and choices in life.
Gilmore Girls fans, here's how to avoid Rory Gilmore Syndrome
It can be managed, though, by redefining success even for more realistic criteria than perfect grades, flawless resumes, or continuous achievements. Flexibility could also be a way to counter this syndrome. Admitting to errors and letting go of the pressure of constant success is a good source of stress release through perfectionism.
Accepting imperfections also fills people with the knowledge that failures are just part of personal growth. It therefore prevents the resultant anxiety and dissatisfaction often associated with the setting of perfectionist standards.
All this while, it's also helpful to take a step back and find time for self-care and downtime, almost like what a Reddit user commented that Gilmore Girls' Rory needed to be:
“Using her tap dancing outlet as a means to reflect on her anxiety.”
Even simple self-care practices, such as exercising or developing hobbies not connected to work or school, can establish a healthier balance and reduce burnout. For instance, being mindful can be pretty earthed when overwhelmed with seeking help, but not when trying to impress others to gain validation and the feeling of being successful.
Similarly, cultivating self-compassion, and learning to forgive oneself for making mistakes, is another strategy that reduces anxiety.
As Muse Magazine states, it’s essential:
“To be flexible, forgiving, and proud of yourself.”
This shift in perspective allows self-identifying perfectionists to balance and make personal decisions for mental well-being. This thereby builds a bit more immunity to failures and setbacks regarding self-worth.
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For Gilmore Girls fans or newcomers, the show is currently streaming on Netflix.
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