Top 10 Howard Wolowitz comebacks from The Big Bang Theory

According to the viewers, Howard Wolowitz, from The Big Bang Theory, is one of the most unique and relatable characters. He is an aerospace engineer and an ex-astronaut known for his dry humor and questionable fashion sense. Undoubtedly, he is a master of witty comebacks that often delve into self-deprecating humor.

The Big Bang Theory is filled with intellectual characters, and Howard has become one of the best in giving sarcastic retorts. His sarcasm is often directed at his friends, Raj, Leonard, and especially Sheldon. His comebacks are a blend of observational humor and pop culture references. Though he is the only one in the group without a PhD, it has never hindered his ability to deliver a witty knockout comeback.

Howard’s comebacks are a constant source of humor in the show. So, in this list, we will delve into the Top 10 Howard Wolowitz comebacks from The Big Bang Theory.

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1) “Nope. She says if I don't back out, she's gonna go on a hunger strike. It'd take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still.”

In season 5, episode 6 of The Big Bang Theory, when Mary Cooper visits Sheldon, Howard tells her about his trip to the International Space Station. Mary Cooper becomes happy hearing it and says it is a trip to the heavens. She also tells him that his mother must be very proud as her son is going to the space station.

However, Howard replies to her by telling this dialogue. Though Howard is excited about the trip, his mother’s refusal causes a dilemma. Howard’s mother’s attempt to stop her son from going to the space station and threatening him with a hunger strike shows her nature. Howard’s comeback, telling that her mother’s hunger strike would not affect her for years, adds to the humor.

2)“Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.”

In season 1, episode 17 of The Big Bang Theory, we see Howard is teaching Sheldon how to speak Chinese. Sheldon tries his best to speak Mandarin, but Howard corrects him. This causes Sheldon to imitate the way Howard spoke, using the hand gestures he used. When Howard asks him about the hand gestures, Sheldon says that he was only following the way Howard spoke. Sheldon adds that he thought the hand gestures were a part of the language.

This annoys Howard, and he says this dialogue to Sheldon. Howard, being Sheldon’s friend, has known his quirks. He also understands his tendency to unknowingly annoy people. In this dialogue, the crucial element of Howard’s humor is the way he delivers the line with a deadpan. The dry and nonchalant tone makes the sarcasm even more potent. It is concise and accurately captures the core aspect of their relationship.

3)“Is the point you're an idiot?”

In season 7, episode 8 of The Big Bang Theory, when Leonard goes through the junk box to help find Sheldon’s tickets, he also finds the sweater his aunt made when he went to college. The red sweater had Lenny written on it. He decided to wear it because of Sheldon, but it was causing him to itch all over. Sheldon told him to wear that sweater with nothing underneath it.

When Howard sees Leonard’s condition, he wonders whether he can take it off. When Leonard answers that he can never take it off, Howard says this dialogue to him. His dialogue drips with sarcasm as he acknowledges the absurdity of the situation. The visual humor of Leonard wearing the ill-fitted sweater adds to the joke.

4)“That's what it says on the box. Right next to dishwasher safe.”

In season 7, episode 20 of The Big Bang Theory, when we see Raj discussing his relationship problems with Leonard and Howard, Howard’s interest is piqued. Howard tells Raj that he wants to meet Emily as soon as possible. This makes Raj ask him why Howard was rushing to meet Emily.

Later, when Raj and Howard were playing games, Howard tells him that he has talked with Bernadette and she was free for a date the next day. To this, Raj answers that they need to set some ground rules before meeting Emily. Howard answers him by asking him whether the ground rule was that if she turned out to be made of rubber, he would not be saying anything.

This makes Raj say that Emily is real. To which Howard answers with this dialogue. This encapsulates Howard’s personality and his observations that are filled with comedic effect.

5)“Well no, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.”

In season 3, episode 18 of The Big Bang Theory, when Sheldon gets a call from Chancellor Morton regarding his award, he tells him that he has to give a speech at the banquet. Sheldon asks him what would happen if he chooses not to give the speech. Chancellor Morton answers him by telling him that he has to forfeit his prize if he chooses not to give a speech.

Sheldon cuts the call and tells Howard, Leonard, and Raj that he has a problem as he cannot give a speech. To Sheldon’s answer, Howard says this dialogue. As we know, Sheldon considers himself a unique intellectual beacon and often delivers pronouncements. Howard cleverly points out that on hearing Sheldon’s hypocritical comment about not being able to give a speech. The understated way in which Howard delivers the comeback makes it even more effective.

6)“Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms- or hits you with the pepper spray.”

In season 1 episode 3 of The Big Bang Theory, we see Howard, Leonard, Raj, and Sheldon playing their game with utmost concentration when they hear Penny arrive. Leonard had taken her mail from the mailbox so he could talk to her in the guise of giving her the mail. When he goes out to give her the mail, he sees her with another man.

Disappointed, Leonard returns, and Sheldon asks him why he was disappointed. He told them about the new man Penny was with. Sheldon then tells him to give up on his dream to have Penny as his girlfriend. However, on hearing this, Howard says the dialogue. The juxtaposition of romantic idealism with reality brings humor to the moment. Howard’s unsuccessful attempts at wooing women often end up with hostile reactions from women. This comeback aligns with his personality and sticks in the minds of the viewers.

7)“Uh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. That’s why I don’t take her to SeaWorld.”

In season 8, episode 8 of The Big Bang Theory, when Howard sits down to eat with Leonard, Raj, and Sheldon, Leonard tells him that he met his mother the last night at Benihana. To which Howard says this dialogue. The exaggeration while describing his own mother shows his relationship with her.

His ironic statement that he does not take her to SeaWorld adds to the humor of the scene. This is also a significant aspect of the relationship with his mother, who is often shown as overbearing about Howard. Howard’s amplified description of his mother’s activities through the experiences he had with her fits perfectly with his character, according to the viewers.

8)“If it’s ‘creepy’ to use the internet, military satellites and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine. I’m ‘creepy.’”

In season 2, episode 7 of The Big Bang Theory, when Penny comes to Sheldon’s apartment to watch America’s Next Top Model because of her cable not working, Howard and Raj are completely surprised by the show. Penny tells them that they live in a house, which further piques their interest. Howard and Raj decide to find the location of the house so they can party with the girls.

Initially, Howard uses a military drone to pinpoint the location of the house with the help of his friend. When Leonard sees what Raj and Howard are doing, he says that it is creepy. To which Howard says the dialogue. Yet another classic Howard comeback that combines his knowledge and desperate pursuit of women.

9)“I'm sorry. Galileo drank diet sprite.”

In season 4, episode 9 of The Big Bang Theory, we see Howard invite Bernadette over to see Epsilon Eridani as a part of Raj’s scientific experiment. As Raj whispers into Howard’s ear to say something to Bernadette, Howard tells Bernadette to open the bottle of wine. However, Raj says that drinking while making an important scientific discovery would be a hindrance.

This makes Howard say that Galileo did his best work while he drank wine, assuming because he was Italian. On hearing this, Raj asks him why he can’t open his mouth without saying a cultural stereotype. Howard answers this with a comeback. His comeback is a perfect example of how a simple retort dismantles the opponent’s arguments.

10)“Naw, she always looks like that. Because she married an idiot.”

In season 7, episode 10 of The Big Bang Theory, Raj came to stay at Bernadette and Howard’s house for a week, and Bernadette was not happy. When Bernadette came home from work, she asked whether Raj and Howard had eaten. Howard replied by saying that they were waiting for her.

Bernadette feels happy that they waited by Howard, who quickly asks her what she is making for dinner, which changes Bernadette’s mood. On hearing this, Raj said that he would cook for them and also told Bernadette that she looked like she'd had a long day. To which Howard replied with this dialogue. This is a memorable moment when we see Bernadette and Howard’s relationship dynamic.

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