"Spreadsheet Jockey Action": Real life Landman debunks infamous interrogation scene of the Taylor Sheridan show

From cartel heat to cat-astrophic meetings? In the premiere of Landman, Billy Bob Thornton’s Tommy Norris survives a cartel kidnapping in a plane hangar, trading witty barbs while duct-taped to a chair.

Real Texas landmen, however, in an interview with Wall Street Journal, said their biggest threats are less Breaking Bad and more The Office. According to Chris Yonker, a landman with 20 years of experience, the worst thing would be more along the lines of being tied by a spreadsheet formula, if that ever happens.

Picture this—also based on what Chris Yonker said: It's like their days are 90% Excel jockeying, 10% convincing retirees that fracking won’t murder their prize roses. RobRoy McDonald, a Midland-based landman, described a typical negotiation whose romanticization would be kind of 14 cats attacking your slacks, the homeowner chain-smoking, and you explaining mineral rights for the fifth time. Plus, the only ‘cartel’ they have to deal with is the local HOA.

“Company man” mix-up: “Landmen don’t play James Bond”

The show’s portrayal of Thornton’s character as a swashbuckling negotiator has landmen scratching their heads. Chili Cole, a veteran in the field, argues Tommy Norris’s role aligns more with a “company man” — a fixer who handles oil rig emergencies — than the desk-bound reality of landwork.

According to him, they're more like glorified librarians, and, if Sheridan wanted realism, Tommy could have spent episode two arguing with a county clerk over a typo in a 1923 deed.

Even the show’s legal drama falls flat, according to Cole. Where does the real tension lie? Imagine discovering a property’s mineral rights were sold in 1952 to a guy named ‘Bubba’ who now lives in an RV. Good luck tracking that down, right?

Michelob Ultra realism (and the gun that became a Wi-Fi plea)

Landman nails one authentic detail: Tommy Norris’s love for Michelob Ultra. According to Andy Waller, a Midland landman, both a strong liver and pretending not to notice when someone slaps a pistol on the table are crucial for landmen.

Waller recalled a negotiation where a landowner placed a revolver between them. He was talking royalties until the client asked him to fix his router. By week three, the gun was gone, and his Wi-Fi was flawless.

Sheridan’s defense: Drama beats data entry

Taylor Sheridan, creator of Yellowstone and Special Ops: Lioness, has never let facts stifle storytelling. He probably thinks that if audiences wanted reality, they’d stream IRS tax tutorials? It's kind of consensus there are limits to suspension of disbelief, and these landmen seem to know it—laughing off Sheridan's portrayal like it's just another tall tale from Hollywood. But landmen hope viewers glimpse their unsung battles. Yonker declared that their version of a cliffhanger would be more something along the lines that a misplaced decimal could cost millions.

Final (pipe)line

Bottom line seems to be that, if the cartel ever kidnaps the real-life landmen, they could weaponize royalty percentages by drowning them in them. Something McDonald said works on his in-laws every Thanksgiving.