Disclaimer: This article presents an opinion about Monica and Chandler from Friends. The ideas are based on fan theories and those of the author.
Monica and Chandler’s relationship on Friends is often celebrated as a heartwarming transition from friendship into love. But, when examined closely, their dynamic raises questions about compatibility and healthy relationship norms. While their bond brought entertaining moments, it also exposed flaws that suggest they weren’t exactly “couple goals.”
Starting off with the fact that Chandler clearly hated Monica back when she was an obese teen with a huge crush on him, to the point that literally all of the other Friends agreed that he would've definitely not been with her, had she not drastically lost weight: there's lots for fans to process that the couple didn't.
Many believe that Monica had strong feelings for Richard even after she started dating Chandler. Some even go to the extent that they believe Monica might have married Chandler due to financial security rather than love. Also, the couple often argue immaturely, making their relationship, well...not very "goals" after all.
Let's take a closer look at why this sitcom romance might not serve as the best definition of love, at least not per contemporary standards.
Monica still had feelings for Richard
One of the much-talked-about details of Monica and Chandler's relationship is Monica's still-strong feelings for her ex, Richard Burke. Monica and Richard's breakup was portrayed as a mature decision that was mutually taken because they wanted different things in life. However, both of them continued to love each other after the breakup and even got back together for a while only to go their separate ways again.
Friends sometimes revisit Monica and Chandler's relationship, especially when Monica seemingly wants to be with Richard in "The One with the Proposal" because she thinks that Chandler does not want to ever get married. Screen Rant says these moments make it seem like Monica is not fully committed to Chandler, implying she considers him a backup option.
In "The One with the Truth About London," Monica admits she first wanted to have a fling with Joey at Ross's wedding but she ended up with Chandler by chance. This makes fans wonder if Monica really loved Chandler deeply or if it just happened because of the situation.
Whichever of the above options might have been the case, it was quite noticeable that she wasn't sure about him as a life partner.
Chandler’s fear of commitment and the Tulsa fiasco
Chandler Bing’s arc on Friends is riddled with commitment issues, many of which resurface during his relationship with Monica. His first botched proposal—intended as an apology—lacked genuine emotional depth. This was a detail Screen Rant noted as a missed opportunity for character development.
The subplot of Tulsa shows that Chandler was mistakenly relocated for work. They had to be separated when Monica refused to give up on her career. While that's a fair decision, she could've been more upfront about it and Chandler too could've taken accountability for his absentminded agreement at work.
This subplot shows the problems in their partnership which was that neither of them focused on the importance of communication in their relationship. Issues became worse when Chandler quit his job without even discussing with Monica. Another proof that they did not communicate effectively, or at all.
Monica and Chandler made each other act oddly in Friends
As their relationship continued, both Friends' characters became extreme versions of their worst traits. Monica’s desire for perfection became controlling behavior, while Chandler’s funny remarks about himself changed into feeling helpless, not being able to cry, smile for photos, or just feeling out of place in general.
Fans have pointed out episodes, like "The One With Monica's Thunder," where Monica's need for attention prevails over Chandler's feelings; showing that they are not a good match. An analysis by Cinemablend points out that their arguments often took the place of real conversation, making them seem like a stereotypical sitcom couple.
Also, events like the wedding budget fight showed how Monica’s wishes conflicted with Chandler’s easygoing nature, causing tension instead of harmony. This transformation from friends to lovers weakened the real friendship that made them fun together.
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Their journey (from a sudden meeting in London to raising adopted twins) had many challenges. Most of these came from a lack of communication and personal issues that were never really resolved.
Friends is available to stream on HBO Max, for both fans and skeptics.
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