5 times we saw major "pick me" behavior in Gilmore Girls

Disclaimer: This article critically discusses Gilmore Girls and reflects the author's opinion. Reader discretion is advised.

Gilmore Girls is a well-known show from the early 2000s, loved for its cozy feel and sharp humor. It's led by two women, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. But if you look closely, you'll see that they sometimes act in a "pick me" kind of way. This means they try to stand out from other women to get guys to like them, and they don't always treat other women nicely.

The term "pick me girl" doesn't just mean trying to get male attention anymore. It's about women who think they're special and better than others. They might put down typical feminine things like being a cheerleader or eating healthy, while bragging about their quirks, like drinking a lot of coffee and reading books.

Let's look at five times when Lorelai and Rory showed "pick me" behavior!

The Gilmore Girls “pick me” phenomenon

1) Rory’s dismissal of cheerleading and conventional femininity

In Gilmore Girls Season 4 Episode 11 (“In the Clamor and the Clangor”), Lane makes a surprising choice to become a cheerleader. This upsets Rory, her best friend, who shows clear disapproval. Rory seems to think cheerleading is not good enough for her friend.

This situation is a typical "not like other girls" scenario where a female character tries to stand out by avoiding activities seen as typically feminine. The twist here is that Rory fails to see she's being judgmental herself, the same thing she often points out in others.

2) Lorelai’s habit of fat-shaming and food-based superiority

Lorelai often teases women who take care of their health, as shown in Gilmore Girls Season 4 Episode 9 called "Ted Koppel’s Big Night Out." In this episode, she makes fun of Janet for being sporty and eating well. Gilmore Girls uses Lorelai and Rory's love for fast food and coffee to make people laugh, but it also suggests that their lifestyle is better.

They sometimes ignore or make fun of other women who focus on their health.

For example, in the first season of Gilmore Girls, Episode 5 titled "Cinnamon's Wake," Lorelai says mean things about a ballerina's weight. This shows that Lorelai doesn't always think positively about other women's appearances. Her behavior can make it seem like her own choices are more important or better.

This kind of teasing reinforces the idea that caring about your health isn't as good as enjoying fast food and coffee like they do.

3) Rory’s justification for breaking up Dean’s marriage

One really bad "pick me" moment in Gilmore Girls Season 4 Episode 22 ("Raincoats and Recipes") of the show involves Rory and Dean. Rory ends up sleeping with Dean even though he's married to Lindsay. During this part of the story, Rory acts like she deserves Dean more because they were a couple first. She makes Lindsay seem like someone who's just in the way.

This doesn't show a good view of how women should relate to each other. It suggests that women need to fight over guys instead of supporting each other and respecting the boundaries of relationships.

4) Lorelai’s dismissal of other mothers in Stars Hollow

Lorelai often feels she's better than other moms, especially from Rory's old public school. In "Eight O'Clock at the Oasis," aka in Gilmore Girls Season 3 Episode 5, a lady named Deb calls her. Deb's an old PTA friend, but Lorelai acts like she doesn't know her because she is a run-of-the-mill small-town mom.

This shows that Lorelai doesn't like moms who are "uncool" or like everyone else. She wants people to think she and Rory are special. This makes it clear that she sees themselves as different from the other women in their town.

5) The “good kid” comment after Paris’ sexual encounter

In Gilmore Girls Season 3 Episode 16 titled "The Big One," Paris tells Rory that she has lost her virginity. Lorelai, eavesdropping outside Rory's room, then thinks to herself that Rory is still "the good kid." This shows a very old-fashioned idea that a woman's value is connected to whether she has had sex or not.

Actress Lauren Graham talked in interviews about how she didn't like that line. She said she tried to get it changed, but the person in charge of the show, Amy Sherman-Palladino, decided to keep it.