5 times Richard was a horrible husband to Emily on Gilmore Girls

Disclaimer: This article solely reflects the author's opinions on Richard from Gilmore Girls.

Richard Gilmore, the leader of the Gilmore family, is a beloved yet flawed character in Gilmore Girls. While he often seems calm and steady compared to Emily’s sharp and intense personality, Richard has moments when he doesn’t act like the best husband.

His actions sometimes leave Emily feeling unappreciated, disrespected, and lonely. Whether it was through major mistakes or small, thoughtless acts, Richard’s choices often reflected his focus on traditional values and his own goals, sometimes overlooking Emily’s emotional needs, despite time gone by.

Here are five times Richard fell short as a husband, to keep it...short!

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Richard was often a bad husband on Gilmore Girls

1) Skipping Emily’s best friend’s funeral to play golf

In Gilmore Girls Season 4's episode "The Reigning Lorelai," Richard chooses to play golf with a client instead of attending the funeral of Emily Gilmore's best friend, Sweetie. Lorelai also didn't show much sympathy.

This clear choice of work over your family upset Emily, who needed his emotional support during a tough moment.

As Reddit user @prosperomoto mentioned,

“Then when Trix died, he hid in his study for days and let everyone else handle the arrangements.”

This shows how Richard avoided dealing with emotional responsibilities, leaving Emily to handle everything on her own. Weaponized incompetence seems to be a suitable term for this mama's boy, doesn't it?

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2) Hiding lunches with Pennilyn Lott for decades

For decades, Richard secretly had lunches with Pennilyn Lott, his ex-girlfriend. This became a sore point in his marriage to Emily. For more than 37 years, Richard kept these meetings hidden, and Emily only found out about them much later in the series, during a Yale event.

A Redditor named @crittab said,

“The Pennilyn Lott thing was major…he treated her contributions like they didn’t matter.”

This lie not only hurt Emily’s trust in Richard but also showed how he often ignored her emotions to keep up a good image on Gilmore Girls.

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3) Siding with his mother against Emily

Richard often didn’t stand up for Emily when his mother, Trix, was mean or critical of her. In one really bad situation, Trix wrote a nasty letter insulting Emily before their wedding, and instead of standing up to his mother, Richard hid the letter.

As people on Reddit have pointed out, this made Emily feel like she had no support in her own home, even when Emily was trying to impress her mother-in-law (after a lifetime of unsuccessfully doing so) during her funeral planning.

Richard’s lack of action made the situation worse, giving his mother more power and leaving Emily to deal with it alone.

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4) Helping Rory move to the pool house

At a key moment in Rory’s rebellion on Gilmore Girls, Richard backed her choice to stay in the pool house rather than go back to Yale, even though Emily and Lorelai tried to steer her in a different direction.

As Facebook user Csilla Kiss pointed out, Richard played a part in supporting Rory’s defiance, which was very different from Emily’s attempt to find common ground with Lorelai. His actions not only made things harder between Emily and Lorelai but also caused tension in his marriage.

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5) Ignoring Emily’s feelings during their separation

Richard’s choice to retire without talking to Emily first was the last thing that pushed them apart in Gilmore Girls Season 5. While they were separated, he didn’t try much to fix their relationship either. Instead, he was more focused on business deals, like the one with Digger Stiles.

As one Reddit user pointed out,

“He disrespected everything that made Emily Emily…when she left him, it’s because she had no other choice.”

Even after they made up, Richard never really dealt with the main problems, so Emily’s complaints were still there, just suppressed by his charms.

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Despite all the difficulties they faced, Richard and Emily’s relationship stayed a key part of Gilmore Girls, which you can now watch on Netflix and Hulu.

Next: These 5 Gilmore Girls actors had double roles, did you notice?