Wednesday’s wit and macabre charm has been a driving factor of the Netflix series Wednesday. She is not just sarcastic but extremely intelligent and observant, which makes her a compelling character. She can deliver perfectly deadpan comments filled with humor and sarcasm.
From skewering social norms that shackle others to simply observing the world with cynicism, Wednesday is unique. Her perspective and unapologetic comments make her sarcasm even more entertaining. In this list, we are going to talk about the 10 best quotes from Wednesday that prove she’s the ultimate queen of sarcasm. Her disdain for social media, sardonic replies to rhetoric questions, and overall attitude gives the audience a perfect dose of sarcasm.
1) “Of course, the first boy I kiss would turn out to be a psychotic, serial-killing monster.”
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In episode 7 of Wednesday, when Enid returns to her dorm room, which she shared with her on Wednesday after their fight, she talks about Wednesday’s date with Tyler. Wednesday replies that her date with Tyler was interrupted. Enid says that she heard Tyler would be working late shifts, urging Wednesday to go and meet him. Wednesday goes to meet Tyler and have a conversation about Xavier.
Wednesday adds that she can trust Tyler now, and after the recent situations, they share a kiss. However, during the kiss, Wednesday gets a vision. She sees Tyler as the Hyde attacking Dr. Valerie Kinbott. She understands that the Hyde was not Xavier but Tyler. She quickly leaves Tyler, who does not understand the situation. Wednesday comes out of the cafe and says this dialogue. Wednesday’s ability to deliver sarcasm highlights her dark and morbid sense of humor.
2) “I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmations.”
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In episode 1, when Wednesday first arrives at Nevermore, Enid is her roommate. Principal Weems tells Enid to give Wednesday a tour of the school. Enid’s enthusiasm is a complete contrast to Wednesday’s gloomy nature. However, she tries her best to make Wednesday comfortable and fill in all the details of the school students. She talks about the quad and the four main types of outcasts: the Fangs, Furs, Stoners, and Scales.
Enid then goes on about the fangs that are the vampires, the werewolves are the furs, sirens are the scales, and the gorgons are the stoners. Enid also adds that Wednesday should get on social media sites such as Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok, to which Wednesday says the above dialogue. Her remark is quick and portrays her distinct nature.
3) “I don’t bury hatchets. I sharpen them.”
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In episode 6, when Wednesday visits Tyler’s cafe after her birthday, Tyler’s father arrives at the cafe. She talks to him about the threat that has been burned on the grounds of Nevermore Academy, which she also found etched on the wall inside Crackstone’s crypt. She adds that there is a connection between the threat and the crypt. However, Tyler’s father does not pay much heed to her words and tells her that he will put out an APB on the case of the dead pilgrim.
There is no doubt that Tyler’s father had a vendetta against Wednesday’s father. So Wednesday reminds him that since he did not have a vendetta about her father as he was released from jail, he should work on real crimes. Sheriff Donovan Galpin says that he had buried the hatchet between him and Wednesday’s father, so she should do the same. To this Wednesday, says this the above dialogue. It is a true example of her ability to deliver sarcasm with a straight face.
4) “For the record, I don’t believe I’m better than everyone else. Just that I’m better than you.”
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The Poe Cup is one of the most sought-after events of the Nevermore Academy. It has been going on for more than a hundred years. So when one of Enid’s team members drops out from the competition, she is excited to hear that Wednesday will be taking part as a member of her team.
Both of them are determined to win. When the competition is about to start, Bianca makes a snarky remark on Wednesday, and she uses the above dialogue to make Bianca angrier. Their rivalry has been entertaining to watch in the show. Although initially Bianca and Wednesday started off as rivals throughout the series, their relationship develops into friendship. Their character development has resonated with the viewers.
5) “If he breaks your heart, I’ll nail-gun his.”
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Yet another memorable dialogue that defines her character well. She says this dialogue when she talks with Enid in episode 3 as Enid gets ready for her date with Ajax. After their assignment at Uriah’s Heap, where Enid asked Ajax out on a date behind the greenhouse, she was excited to meet him.
Although initially Enid and Wednesday did not seem to be close, since Wednesday does not like to get involved with people, Enid’s friendship grew with her. Enid’s bubbly and friendly nature made Wednesday care for her. This dialogue, though sarcastic, shows her concern for her. Wednesday does not want Enid to get hurt. This is a memorable dialogue of Wednesday as viewers find her sarcasm entertaining.
6) “I don’t believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge. I usually serve it warm with a side of pain.”
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In episode 3, as Wednesday prepares for her performance in front of the bronze statue of Sir Joseph Crackstone, she says this dialogue. She makes Joseph Crackstone her adversary because of the things he did in the past. Joseph Crackstone’s accusation of Goody Addams, Wednesday’s ancestor, of witchcraft had gotten her killed. Crackstone openly professed his hatred towards the outcasts, which Wednesday did not like.
She uses the opportunity of her performance to prepare a prank with Thing. She bursts the bronze statue of Joseph Cranstone into flames and keeps on playing her violin in a dramatic manner. When Principal Weems calls on her for her prank, she denies it. However, she reminds Weems about the things Joseph Crackstone did to outcasts.
7) “They couldn’t even spring for real pigs’ blood.”
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When Ajax did not show up for the date that Enid asked him out for, she was heartbroken. Though she wanted to take Ajax as a date for their Rave’N, she also wanted to make him jealous for not showing up for their date. So, she went to Rave’N with Lucas, a normie. Though she initially thought Lucas genuinely liked her, things took an unexpected turn.
During the party, as Wednesday and Tyler were dancing, Lucas and his friends pulled a prank on the students of Nevermore Academy. One of Lucas’ friends pulled on the fire alarm, and red paint started to fall from the water pipes. Though Wednesday initially thought that it was blood, when she tasted it, she found out that it was paint. She said this dialogue after that, showing her disappointment that they did not use real pig’s blood for the prank.
8) “Unrecognizable? Ridiculous? A classic example of female objectification for the male gaze?”
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Yet another memorable dialogue by Wednesday that defines her sarcastic nature. During the Rave’N, when Tyler arrives at Wednesday’s room after he gets an invite, she is shocked. She understood that Thing sent an invite on her behalf. She got ready with the dress she Thing got for her and went out for the party. She gets ready for Rave’N and comes out wearing the dress.
As Tyler sees her, he is short of words. Tyler's reaction makes her say this dialogue to him. This showcases her lack of emotional inflection, making the whole scene even more hilarious. She never backs down from making a remark filled with sarcasm. It highlights her intelligence and the depth of her character.
9) “I act as if I don’t care if people dislike me. Deep down, I secretly enjoy it.”
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In episode 2, when Marilyn Thornhill asks Wednesday whether she needs help finding any books, they begin a conversation. Wednesday asks her about a watermark of a book that she is looking for. Marilyn Thorne starts to talk about how difficult it must be for Wednesday as she started in the middle of a semester.
She tells her about how she felt like an outsider even when she had been in that school for more than a year. To which Wednesday says the above dialogue. This dialogue makes Marilyn Thorpe happy, and she says that Wendesay should never lose this ability to not let others define her. Wednesday’s sarcasm is a defining factor of her character, and this dialogue adds to it.
10) “Birthday yes. Happy never.”
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In episode 6, when Wednesday visited Tyler’s cafe, he gave her a coffee with Happy Birthday written on top of it. He also adds that he was the one who delivered the cake for the surprise birthday party she had the day before. To which Wednesday says the above dialogue.
Tyler also asked Wednesday if she did not like it when the day was all about her. To which Wednesday says that every day is about her. Wednesday’s sarcasm and self-awareness resonate with the viewers throughout the show. Her witty remarks are proof of her intellect and ability to make remarks about the behavior of others.
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