5 most funniest jokes and lines from the Al Smith dinner 2024

Donald Trump at the Al Smith dinner (Image via Instagram/@marksimonenyc)
Donald Trump at the Al Smith dinner (Image via Instagram/@marksimonenyc)

The Alfred Smith Memorial Dinner, or Al Smith Dinner for short, took place on Thursday night in New York City. While Vice President Kamala Harris did not make it in person, she and former President Donald Trump addressed the crowd lightheartedly, poking fun and jesting at what was supposed to be the last time the two shared the stage before the election.

The ballroom hosted dozens of socialists, from the political who's whos to the business giants and religious leaders. While Trump read out from a script, often stuttering through his delivery of pointed remarks, Harris appeared alongside actress Molly Shannon, who played her Catholic schoolgirl character Mary Katherine Gallagher on-screen, the New York Times reported.


Some of the jokes that landed well at the Al Smith Dinner

1) Jim Gaffigan on roasting Trump

Comedian Jim Gaffigan took to the stage at the Al Smith dinner in an attempt to produce laughter from the crowd, and so he did. He started off his set by saying, "Good evening, rich people," lifting the air. He then delivered a punchline:

"I feel like I'm at a casting call for Daddy Warbucks and I'm not gonna get the job."

But the jokes didn't end there; he continued to jest in front of a giggling crowd, as he said:

"I want you to know that I'm going to be fair and balanced tonight. And I'm going to make jokes about both Donald Trump and J.D. Vance."

His mission was successful as the audience erupted into laughter, allowing Gaffigan to continue:

"During the first and only debate, President Trump talked about migrants taking cats and eating them. You know, if you're keeping track at home, this is the second time grabbing a kitty has been part of a campaign issue."

The joke was a nod to an audio recording released by the Washington Post in 2016, one month before Trump won the presidency over Hillary Clinton. In it, he can be heard saying that he could grab women however he wanted due to his celebrity status. The ballroom was split into roaring laughter, gasps, and shock.


2) Trump on his legal controversies

Trump himself took to the stage at the Al Smith dinner at one point, directly to address his own legal troubles. He cracked,

"It's really a pleasure (to be) anywhere in New York without a subpoena for my appearance."

In speaking of his opponent's absence, he said,

"It's been a long tradition for both Democrat and Republican candidates for president in the United States to attend this dinner. Always, it's a rule. You got to go to the dinner, you got to do it. Otherwise, bad things are going to happen to you from up there. "The last Democrat not to attend this important event was Walter Mondale. And it did not go very well for him. He lost 49 states and he won one: Minnesota. So I said there's no way I'm missing it."

The joke landed well on the crowd, as many chuckled at his humor.


3) Trump on roasting President Joe Biden and Kamala Harris at once

The former president continued, taking jabs at President Joe Biden's allegedly declining mental health, as well as his adversary in one fell swoop. He said as he guided his audience into chuckling at the Al Smith dinner,

"We have someone in the White House who can barely talk, barely put together two coherent sentences, who seems to have the mental faculties of a child. It's a person that has nothing going, no intelligence whatsoever. But enough about Kamala Harris."

4) Trump on Tim Walz

With the Al Smith dinner being a good formal opportunity for the former president, he opted against leaving Democratic vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz unspared. In referring to Walz's admission of having jumbled up some stories, he said,

"Unfortunately, Governor Walz isn't here himself. But don't worry, he'll say that he was."

He continued, touching base on Walz's advocacy for easy access to feminine hygiene products for students in Minnesota.

"I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying men have periods. But then I met Tim Walz."

5) Trump on almost dying

Trump brought out the big guns, pun intended when he spoke about his near-death experiences.

"Tradition holds that I am supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening. So here it goes. Nope. I’ve got nothing. I guess I don’t see the point of taking shots at myself when other people have been shooting at me for a hell of a long time.”

The seemingly amused audience at the Al Smith dinner laughed and cheered on for the possible would-be president.


The Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, aka Al Smith Dinner, was born in 1945, one year after its namesake and the governor of New York died. The event is white-tie only and is held every year in the same city. All funds raised go towards Catholic charities, which in turn help children.

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Edited by Apoorva Jujjavarapu