‘Nobody is playing ts’— Fans LOL as new dating sim lets you ‘date’ furniture around the house

In the ever-evolving world of gaming, just when you think you've seen it all, boom! Someone hands you a digital romance storyline involving your furniture.

Yes, really. A newly launched dating simulator now allows players to pursue intimate, heart-throbbing connections with household furniture.

Gone are the days of awkward dinner dates and swiping through real humans. Why bother with dating apps when your microwave is giving you that look? It’s the game nobody asked for, and yet, somehow, it's managed to capture the internet’s attention in a big way.

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The Game Where You Can Date Your Furniture

We’ve officially entered a timeline where you can flirt with a refrigerator and not be judged well, maybe a little. This new dating sim has players swooning over tables, crushing on kettles, and apparently forming emotional bonds with the toaster.

Think of it as Beauty and the Beast, but everyone is furniture, and nobody’s cursed; they’re just… oddly available.

So, how did this even happen? We’re not entirely sure what the pitch meeting looked like, but we imagine someone dramatically stood up and said, “What if your blender was the one?” And apparently, everyone else just rolled with it.

A post showcasing the game’s premise that you can romance everything from a couch to a coffee machine quickly made rounds online. The caption, “Nobody is playing ts 😭,” was just the beginning. What followed was an avalanche of confused, amused, and downright unhinged reactions from people trying to make sense of this absurd new frontier in virtual love.

One user didn’t hold back their disbelief, asking:

“Why would I want to date furniture???”

A fair question unless your office chair has been giving you serious back support and butterflies.

Then there was the pansexual community chiming in with top-tier humor. A user, clearly embracing the chaos, wrote:

“Pansexuals can finally date an actual kitchen pan.”

Representation and sautéing? Truly a win-win.

Others took a more existential approach to their commentary. One user gave a reality check that hit a little too close to home:

“You gotta be extremely lonely to date a table 😭😭”

While another chimed in with what can only be described as a confusingly lustful confession:

“Never noticed how thicc my refrigerator is 👀”

Hey, sometimes the fridge does look kinda stacked.

And, of course, in every viral moment, there’s always someone ready to declare the end of civilization. As one dramatic (and probably slightly concerned) soul put it:

“There’s no hope in the future generation.”

This might be a bit much, but fair given we’re now writing love letters to air fryers.

So, is this game a groundbreaking commentary on human connection in the digital age? Or just a weird fever dream someone turned into a playable product?

Honestly, both.

Whether you're here to ironically romance your vacuum or are just along for the Twitter meltdowns, one thing’s for sure: Love is in the air… and apparently also in your living room furniture.

And if you ever find yourself whispering sweet nothings to your bookshelf, don’t worry. In 2025, that just means you're ahead of the curve.