Ashton Hall drops his 'normal weekend day' routine, fans joke: "Bro looks more like bodyguard of his bodyguards"

Ashton Hall is at it again, and this time he's overrunning the internet with his "normal weekend day" routine, which, spoiler alert, is anything but normal. Ashton Hall's viral video has people laughing their heads off as he nonchalantly makes everyday things full-blown affairs.

From waking up like he's the star of a reality show to brushing his teeth like it's an Olympic event, Ashton Hall's weekend routine has more drama than a season finale. Whether he's cooking breakfast like it's a five-star restaurant or just being extra for no reason whatsoever, Ashton Hall shows that there's no such thing as a dull weekend in his life.

In the Ashton Hall viral video, his "normal" weekend routine appears more structured than a press tour. At 4 PM, he completes his workout and sips Saratoga water like it's part of a business arrangement. By 4:23, he's out of the shower, and by 4:31, he's already in spa-and-massage mode, because why not.

At 5:15 PM, Ashton Hall's getting ready for an event, and by 5:30, he's on his way to the event with two bodyguards accompanying him. At 6 PM, he's greeting paparazzi, posing for selfies, and signing autographs as if it's a regular pit stop.

Then it's party, food, more fun, and by 7:22 PM, he's home as if nothing occurred. If you're wondering what 'normal' looks like in Ashton Hall's world, prepare to feel wildly unproductive. As soon as the video came out, someone took to their X account and commented:

"Bro looks more like bodyguard of his bodyguards."

There is someone on X who said that Ashton Hall reminds them of his own bodyguard's bodyguard, and gosh, really, they were not wrong at all. This guy arrived with two bodyguards but still managed to have the deadliest face in town.

In the Ashton Hall video, we can see him being approached as if he were the bodyguard hired for them. Commenters online were already hooking him up with a security badge and a walkie-talkie. One guy even said he appeared to be going to fire his own staff for not marching in step. At this point, Ashton Hall may need bodyguards for his bodyguards.

But first, let's just admit that Ashton Hall's "normal" day gave rise to anything but normal reactions. The internet witnessed the schedule, the bodyguards, the spa treatment, the paparazzi, and immediately became a comedy panel.

Nobody restrained themselves. From roast-level comments to strangely specific one-liners, fans ensured each moment of that viral clip got broken down, laughed at, and made into memes within minutes. Let's have a look at what the internet detectives and comedians said.

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Netizens react as Ashton Hall drops his 'normal weekend day' routine

Some people didn't hesitate to make Ashton Hall's video into a comedy sketch. They weren't merely commenting; they were over here treating the replies like an open mic. From sarcastic timelines to security detail jokes, nothing was out of bounds.

Leave it to the internet to turn even a spa day into a sitcom:

"How do you have this much time to do this?," a user @Audjuice9989 hilariously commented.

"He wears his socks in the tub," another user @wontsharemypain hilariously commented.

"No one goes to shower just to wash their feet lmaoo," a netizen @fanofaliens sarcastically expressed.

Some were obviously responding for the sake of it — no sense, just sheer humor and chaos. One minute they were discussing the timetable, the next minute it seems somebody's comparing Ashton's water company to a lifestyle decision. It wasn't commentary; it was comedy hour freestyle.

Honestly, half the responses seemed like folks just wanted to say something, anything, as long as it was funny:

"I am a true fan. What’s the purpose eating this way ?," a user @13abso13 hilariously commented.

"I wonder how fast your half marathon is," another user @store_optimal hilariously commented.

"No socks in those shoes ? What a psycho," a netizen @K0biOne sarcastically commented.

And then there's the peanut gallery, always lurking, waiting for their moment. They didn't care about facts, only vibes and jokes. When Ashton was showcasing his set, they were in the comments wondering why he doesn't wear socks.

They weren't tuned in to learn; they were tuned in to roast, and they perfected it with Olympic-level finesse:

"The king of high maintenance," a user @snytzu commented.

"Bruh no longer reading the bible," another user @CoolGodVibes hilariously commented.

"The No socks with shoes is diabolical," another netizen @purplepillpodtx sarcastically commented.

"But what would make anyone bath with a wrist watch," a netizen @nana_yozy sarcastically wrote.

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Ashton Hall's nighttime routine

Ashton Hall's nighttime routine is straight out of an over-the-top productivity guide nobody requested. At 5:02 PM, it's ice bath time, because who wouldn't want to freeze themselves just to feel alive? By 5:27, he's doing multiple things at once — juggling snacks with a bath like he's getting ready for a reality show.

And then there's the serious business: balcony phone calls, a banana peel face mask, and a shower with Saratoga water because plain old water just won't do. Skincare is top-notch, but the cherry on top is taping his mouth shut to sleep "better."

Ashton Hall's body is a project, apparently, and he's handling it like an overcaffeinated startup. By 7 PM, he's unwinding with Bible study, but not before putting his alarm clock forward to 3:46 AM, where he'll be getting at least five more snoozes. Even a grindset monarch requires his nap time!

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Ashton Hall's morning routine

This Florida fitness bro's morning routine is like someone took "rise and grind" a bit too literally. He's waking up before 4 a.m., peels off his mouth tape like it's part of his morning routine, and then takes an ice-cold dip. Then he's rubbing banana peels on his body, journaling like it's therapy, and diving into a pool — because, why not torch a few extra calories while you're at it?

By the time he actually sits down to eat breakfast, it's 9 a.m., and he's probably burned enough calories to fuel a small village. And with 4.8 million on TikTok, twice that on Instagram, and almost 3 million on YouTube, he's somehow keeping it all together.

Naturally, he's already become an internet meme, because who wouldn't love a good joke about someone duct-taping their mouth closed to start the day?

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Saratoga Water becomes the real star of Ashton Hall’s routine

Ashton Hall's morning ritual went viral, and Saratoga Water played the starring role like it was the lead character. Between sessions at the gym, facial skincare, and buckets of that high-end water, Ashton made staying hydrated feel like some kind of privileged luxury treatment.

So privileged that Google searches for luxury water went up by 1,379%. It seems like the second people saw him sipping Saratoga, they thought it was the secret to instant abs. Some couldn't even finish the video before racing to Google, convinced the key to peak fitness was hidden in that bottle.

Who knew hydration could turn into such a high-stakes race for "elite" water? Guess if you’re not drinking Saratoga, you're not really living the dream!

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Ashton Hall's weekend regimen is obviously a full-scale production. From evening workout to everything, it's a degree of devotion most of us can only hope for (or, more to the point, stay away from). While he's out there making self-care an extreme sport, the rest of us are still likely struggling to determine whether or not we can squeeze in a nap in between our own routines.

At least Ashton has shown us that weekends are for productivity — maybe just not the same kind of productivity.

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