5 best jokes from Conan O'Brien's opening monologue at Oscars 2025

The Oscars 2025 began with a bang, and leading it all was the one and only Conan O'Brien, the king of late-night absurdity. Conan's opening monologue was caustic, self-denigrating, and riddled with laugh-out-loud one-liners that immediately established the tone for the night.

Within minutes, Twitter was in orbit. Was it his silky smooth delivery? His blunt Hollywood zingers? Or simply the fact that we'd finally have an Oscars host who wasn't afraid to say the show is too darned long? Whatever, Conan's opening monologue rapidly went viral, with everyone arguing the best one-liners of the night.

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Conan O'Brien’s Oscars 2025 Monologue Goes Viral

Hosting the Oscars is a tricky gig. You have to be funny, keep the audience engaged, and, most importantly, avoid getting slapped by Will Smith.

Conan, of course, tackled the challenge in his signature style, roasting the industry, making fun of himself, and somehow turning an "I won't waste time" promise into a full-blown musical number. The result? A monologue that had Hollywood’s biggest stars doubling over in laughter.

But what exactly made his jokes so memorable? Let’s break down the five best moments that had the crowd and the internet howling.

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“This Will Be Short… But First, A Song”

Every year, the Oscars face the same criticism: the show is way too long. Conan O'Brien decided to confront the issue head-on.

“I promise you, tonight’s show will be short, efficient, and straight to the point!” he declared, only to immediately launch into an elaborate song-and-dance routine about how he wouldn’t waste time.

A full orchestra. Backup dancers. Confetti. At one point, dancing Deadpool even appeared out of nowhere for a high note. It was ridiculous, it was ironic, and it was pure Conan O'Brien.

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Conan Roasts Himself on the Red Carpet

Hollywood is a tough place, even for a seasoned comedian like Conan O'Brien. Describing his experience on the red carpet, he said:

"A complete unknown...A real pain...Nosferatu...these were just some of the names I was called on the red carpet."

Ouch. But also fair. With his tall frame, pale complexion, and signature Conan hair, he’s got just the right amount of vampire energy to make this joke work.

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The Timothée Chalamet Compliment

Conan took a moment to acknowledge Timothée Chalamet, who was up for Best Actor, and he did it in a way that only Conan could!

It was equal parts praise, admiration, and complete nonsense. Timothée, ever the good sport, laughed along, probably relieved that Conan O'Brien didn’t bring up the time he got knocked off his bike. (Oops, too late.)

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A Not-So-Subtle Jab at Twitter Drama

Every year, the Oscars come with their fair share of online chaos, and Conan O'Brien was more than ready for it. Addressing the inevitable Twitter discourse, he casually remarked:

"If you're going to tweet about the Oscars, my name is Jimmy Kimmel."

A simple yet hilarious way to dodge the drama. Jimmy Kimmel, wherever he was, probably sighed in exhaustion.

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AI? No Thanks, We Used Child Labor!

At a time when Hollywood was debating the role of AI in filmmaking, Conan O'Brien decided to take a different approach.

The joke was dark, satirical, and absolutely ruthless, but that’s what made it work. A few gasps were heard, but let’s be honest: this is the same industry that once thought a de-aged Robert De Niro was a good idea.

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At a time when awards shows can sometimes feel stiff, over-rehearsed, and way too serious, Conan O'Brien delivered exactly what the Oscars needed: an opening monologue that was unpredictable, self-aware, and just the right amount of ridiculous.

From self-roasts to Hollywood takedowns, his jokes landed with perfect comedic timing and left the audience wanting more. And let’s be honest: if the show had just been Conan roasting people for three hours, nobody would’ve complained.

So, here’s to Conan for bringing back the fun. Now, let’s just hope he finds his way out of that musical number before next year’s Oscars.