Three cheers as Stone Cold clocks creepy Congressman Drew: General Hospital Two Scoops for November 11

Drew Quartermaine proved that soap world convicted felons can easily be elected to federal office while trying to keep sex scandals a secret. However, since this is a soap and Drew is a Quartermaine, no sex scandal can remain a secret for long. Watching Drew's web of ewww unravel everywhere gave us the best moments of the week.

Jason Morgan is our hero

The best thing Jason (Steve Burton) has done since he returned to Port Charles in March was punch Drew (Cameron Mathison) right in the face with no remorse at all. Drew happily walked into the Q foyer on an emotional high after being elected to the House of Representatives. When he put out his hand to shake his brother's, Drew never expected what Jason would do with his fist — and his knee. Yes, Jason kneed Drew right where it hurts for a truly satisfying moment. Perhaps Jason was as disgusted as the rest of us that Drew had sex with his nephew's wife on the floor of his daughter's playroom the night his daughter's mother died. Good job, Drew.

Drew is...not smart (to put it mildly). He genuinely believes that Jason just thinks he kissed Willow because how would he find out otherwise? Does Drew live in a soap opera town? Does he know that anyone can find out anything, especially if they're a Quartermaine? Maybe he is better off in Washington, D.C., where he can descend into the swamp where he came from. He'll fit right in when Mr. Q Goes to Washington.

Winsome Willow wallows in her lies

Drew Quartermaine is a creep. Full stop. But Willow (Katelyn MacMullen) is also no prize. Perhaps they actually belong together after all. Sure, Willow looked like she would jump out of her skin as Stalker Vibe Drew walked up behind her and whispered in her ear that she was blushing, so he knew she was lying. However, the second she heard that Drew had a black eye, she couldn't take her eyes — or her hands off of him.

Willow also couldn't tell the truth if there was a gun to her head. Michael (Chad Duell) sensibly tells her that they always seem to lie to one another and asks for complete honesty, but she couldn't bring herself to confess she slept with Drew. Maybe it's time all of Port Charles came to the logical conclusion that Willow is nowhere near as wholesome as she pretends to be. Or maybe Willow can pay a visit to Kevin (Jon Lindstrom) and finally figure out that life in a cult damaged her more than she ever imagined. She had a good thing with gentle soul Chase (Josh Swickard) but has since thrown it all away for domineering misogynists who think they can control women.

Michael, you're a wuss

Michael also stayed true to form this week. Rather than remembering he was on a soap and going scorched Earth on his cheating wife and smarmy uncle, he cried in his cornflakes over the idea that Willow doesn't want him anymore. Well, it was his beer, but we like the phrase about cornflakes. Then, he practically begged Willow to fix their marriage, asked for the truth, and refused to mention he just slept with Sasha. Perhaps Michael and Willow deserve each other.

Or...perhaps not. We don't care how not-wholesome Willow really is. Nobody — and we mean nobody — has a right to show a video of her having sex on the floor to anyone. Yes, Michael played the nanny cam footage for Jason. So, Jason got to see his nephew's wife having sex with his kinda-twin brother. That's really, really gross, Michael. It's also a violation no woman deserves, even if she is as dishonest and hypocritical as Willow.

Is Michael going to show Carly (Laura Wright) the video next so Mommy can fight his battles for him? While that would be very uncool, we absolutely look forward to Carly learning precious Willow isn't so precious after all. Nobody messes with Carly's baby boy, so seeing her read Willow for filth could be more satisfying than watching Jason clock Drew.

Speaking of reading for filth...

Elizabeth (Rebecca Herbst) finally got the chance to turn the tables on Lucky (Jonathan Jackson) and tell the man who spent years emotionally abusing her what a loser he really was. Yay for Elizabeth! Perpetual crybaby Lucky was ready to leave town again for no real reason except that he is a deadbeat who only seems to think about himself.

Lucky abandoned his only child years ago and was ready to do it again. His son worships the ground he walks on, but does Lucky care? Of course not. His restless soul needs to move on, and his restless soul is the only soul that counts. Good on Elizabeth for telling Lucky the truth about himself because someone had to do it.

Can we just have a Liason already?

Before Lucky made her spit nails, Elizabeth had a perfectly pleasant talk with Jason. Yes, it was about an unpleasant topic, but all those scenes did was cement for us that Jason and Elizabeth ooze chemistry and truly deserve their chance.

There is always something natural and easy when Liz and Jason have a few moments alone together. This time, she was checking up on him to make sure he was handling single fatherhood. The look on Jason's face, when Elizabeth suggested that Jason could move in with the Qs for Danny's (Asher Antonyzyn) sake, was priceless. (But seriously, how much fun would that be? OMG, just the thought of it. Make it happen, GH!)

The opportunity to finally do something with Jason and Elizabeth is right there. She is single and doesn't even want to look at Lucky. He is single, and that weird flirtation with Anna (Finola Hughes) is a no-go with fans. Pairing Jason and Liz is a no-brainer, but sometimes, we feel that we can never have nice things.

Kristina, stop talking

Surprise, surprise! Kristina (Kate Mansi) is taking Sam's (Kelly Monaco) death so hard that it is now all about her. We thought she was being kind and considerate when she chose not to bother Alexis (Nancy Lee Grahn) about her fender bender. Sonny (Maurice Benard) convinced her to tell the truth, but when she did, she turned the conversation to herself and her problems.

When Kristina asked her grieving mother why Sam died, and she lived, we were floored. Who says that to a mother who just lost her firstborn child? Like Alexis needed to think about another daughter dying? But wait, it's all good. Kristina found a whole reason to live. She now knows her purpose. No, it isn't to spread joy in the world and be kind to others. Kristina is willing to go on breathing as long as she can put Ava behind bars for something that was an accident.

Kristina even knows it was an accident, but if she admitted that out loud, she'd have to face the fact that her own temper helped cause the death of the baby she was supposed to hand over to Molly (Kristen Vaganos) and TJ (Tajh Bellow). If Kristina would stop making every tragic event about her and only her, maybe we'd actually like her.

Poor, sweet Molly

At least Kristina's sister can quietly grieve while thinking of anyone but herself. The poor youngest Davis sister sat alone at Bobbie's reading Little Women, refusing to remind her family that it was her birthday. She knew they had other things on her mind, and there would be other birthdays.

However, she did get a few surprises. And we got a surprise too. Isaiah (Sawandi Wilson) and Molly have chemistry. However, what do we do about the fact that Isaiah is supposedly slated to be Jordan's love interest? It feels a little odd to have Molly find chemistry with her mother-in-law's potential love interest. Did GH think about this before the little chem test over a birthday cupcake?

At least Kristina did a selfless thing as Molly's birthday ended and gave her a gift. We're just not sure how Kristina knew that Molly was at Bobbie's. Hmmm...

Robert and Holly just...leave

Um, what just happened? So, Robert (Tristan Rogers) and Holly (Emma Samms) walked off into the fog Casablanca-style and just took off? Five minutes after Robert learned that he and Holly shared an adult daughter? Why? What was the point in making Sasha (Sofia Mattsson) a Scorpio if her parents would skip town within a day?

We wanted to see her develop a relationship with her parents, not her Uncle Mac (John J. York). However, it looks like that's what we're getting. Felicia (Kristina Wagner) and Anna plan to welcome Sasha to the clan with open arms while her parents enjoy a caper. Okay? Yeah, we're a little lost here.

Sasha's little dividend?

In the end, Sasha just may surprise everyone with a surprise baby. And she would welcome it. Few characters have been tortured over the last few years the way Sasha has been tortured, so let's have some joy in Port Charles and give Sasha the baby she deserves. Too bad she'll be stuck with Michael's kid.

Until next week, let's dream of the moment Hurricane Carly barrels down on Willow...

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