Murder most foul, but let's do some yoga: General Hospital Two Scoops for the week of September 23, 2024

General Hospital is now presenting fans with a straightforward murder case with a whole lot of "eww" and quite a few head-scratchers.

Anything goes at a murder scene

First, why is a murder scene now a recreation scene just days after said murder took place? It's bad enough that James nearly drowned outside the Quartermaine boathouse this summer, but Sonny shot John in cold blood in the same spot. In the few days since (in Port Charles time), Sasha threw a lovely brunch for Cody and his new family. The next day, Willow used the spot for her morning yoga workout.

Shouldn't there still be police tape and a chalk outline of a body, considering how recently the murder took place? Even if the police finished their entire investigation in record time, who would want to break bread and exercise in the same spot where someone just shot an unarmed man? By the end of the week, Lois pointed out that the boathouse was still a crime scene, but she didn't explain why people were using that crime scene for recreation.

Like father, like daughter?

Speaking of the person who shot an unarmed man, it seems that Sonny's self-awareness is now completely nonexistent. We are also supposed to sympathize with him and hope he doesn't get caught. We watched Sonny shoot John in cold blood. Sure, John wasn't a sympathetic character by the time Sonny shot him, but that didn't mean he deserved to be killed.

Are we supposed to see Sonny as noble when he vows that Alexis will not end up behind bars for life, but he still refuses to confess? Are we supposed to praise him because he hired Marty to be Alexis' lawyer, since he stole her usual attorney to represent him in the same case? Were we supposed to say "awww" when Michael and Sonny bonded over Michael choosing to help Sonny cover up his crime without blinking an eye? Is that supposed to make sense when Michael spent well over a year trying to put his criminal father in jail?

The only way Sonny can redeem himself at this point is if he fesses up. Instead, hearing Sonny announce that Kristina should know that her father is there for her mother falls flat. Sonny could be there for his daughter's mother by telling the authorities that he killed John, so Alexis could walk free.

Perhaps Sonny passed down his lack of self-awareness to Kristina. She once again spent the week focusing on her feelings while completely ignoring Molly's. Never mind that she can't stop using the name Adela when referring to the baby she was carrying for Molly and T.J. Kristina knows that the baby's legal name is Irene, but she just doesn't care. As Molly pointed out, Kristina hadn't even asked how T.J. was doing, when he also lost his biological child.

Ewww Drew

But back to the murder scene...er...we mean boathouse. Not only did Willow get in a workout where a man was just shot dead, but she was there with congressional candidate Drew. We even got the obligatory damsel in distress tripping over her own two feet into a waiting man's arms routine.

Unfortunately, Drew is becoming creepier than ever as he makes sure to be shirtless almost any time he encounters Willow on the Quartermaine grounds. If he sees Willow in public at places like the Savoy, Drew just chases the poor woman down as she tries to get away.

Willow and Drew's ick factor is almost off the charts, as Drew seems to feel absolutely no shame in kissing Willow and then sleeping with her mother, Nina. Just another day in the life of a politician in America?

A little bit Alexis, a lot of jail

Alexis might not be recording songs about herself like Alexis Rose on Schitt's Creek, but she does have multiple murders on her record now. While her family members twist themselves into knots, trying to figure out how to clear her name, Alexis is back in the slammer with Heather Webber as her cellmate. While it doesn't make sense that a serial killer would be in general lockup, we'll suspend our disbelief for the comic relief that's sure to come.

Speaking of Heather, who wants to bet that Portia did a little fancy editing with those blood test results to make it appear that Heather didn't have cobalt poisoning, after all? We wouldn't put it past her.

Out of Africa

Lucky is still in Africa in need of a good shower, but at least Jason and Anna are there now, ready for a rescue. But...um...where the heck are Laura and Kevin? They had a several-week head start and are nowhere to be seen. It doesn't even look like Anna and Jason seem to care that their Port Charles counterparts are MIA. After Anna, Laura, and Holly beat the bad guys in Greenland last year (Drew had nothing to do with it, as Holly saved Liesl), we were looking forward to seeing GH's original action heroines at it again in Africa. But alas, it's just Holly and Anna on the scene.

As of Friday, Holly and Anna seemed as inept as Drew was in Greenland when they allowed one of Sidwell's men to overhear their conversation.

At least Jason is more interesting with Anna than he is with Carly and Sonny. Working with Anna takes Jason out of his mobster element. Could there be romance on the way for Jason and Anna? Hopefully...not.

Final thoughts

Lois isn't Lois without the Brooklyn accent, and there is nothing wrong with a Brooklyn accent. This writer even has one, so why can't Lois? Heck, Olivia and Brook Lynn have Brooklyn accents, so again, WHY CAN'T LOIS???? At least Ned knows Lois isn't an Eliza Doolittle needing lessons from Henry Higgins, so can Lois just be Lois again?

It's been glorious watching Elizabeth be Elizabeth again. She has that sly smile, she has her backbone, and she has chemistry with Ric. Of course, she also has chemistry with Jason, so it's like an embarrassment of riches. Lucky was even hallucinating Elizabeth in his African prison, so we know what's coming when he returns to Port Charles. We also dread it because the Lucky and Liz ship sailed years ago.

Any scene with Jane Elliot's Tracy is a good scene, but Tracy crushing on Cody and taking her life's frustrations out on Sasha is ungood. Hopefully, we've seen enough of that for now. However, we wouldn't mind seeing Tracy react to Carly and Sonny's sex life. Anything for a good laugh in ol' Port Chuck.

Catch all-new episodes of General Hospital weekdays on ABC and Hulu.