Happy Slapsgiving

The slap we have been waiting for, the explanation we are still waiting for, and so much more in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, I've been waiting a long time for that slap. I thought it would happen much sooner than it did, but it was still so satisfying. And before you assume I'm picking a team, let me explain.

Nina most definitely had the slap coming. Regardless of any chemistry that "Mike" and Nina developed or how soapalicious and juicy this triangle will be in the upcoming months, Nina did a bad, bad thing. No matter how much Nina hated Carly and wanted revenge on her, her choice was unforgivable. The fact that she let an entire family, including Sonny's kids and grandkids, think he was dead is unconscionable. She deserved the slap, and if all of Sonny's kids lined up and slapped her, too -- it would be justified.

But that's not saying I didn't love that Nina was poking the bear and getting into Carly's head. It drives Carly insane to know that "Mike" wanted Nina and that Sonny still kind of does. It's enraging to Carly that the things Nina says are valid and that Nina still has some sort of hold on Sonny.

Add into the mix the fact that Sonny decided not to refill his lithium, and we've got ourselves a brewing hurricane. Sonny, on his meds, would fight for his family and work to get Nina out of his system. Sonny off his meds is unpredictable and irrational. He's already started throwing bottles of booze at the wall, and it's only downhill from there.

Sonny has suffered several significant losses in the past few months. He lost his father to Alzheimer's, he lost his pseudo brother and best friend Jason, and this week, Sonny discovered that he lost Luke, one of his oldest and dearest friends. He feels like he's about to lose his marriage and his family, too.

So why would he go off his meds? I can only tell you this -- I have a friend who has bipolar. He is a remarkably talented man. He sings like Josh Groban and has the most generous heart. He's a lovely human being when he is on his medication. But occasionally, he stops taking it. He says the medicine makes him feel like a zombie. He explained to me that he can't experience emotional highs or lows, that his medication numbs him, and that sometimes he just wants to feel everything to prove to himself he's still alive. Does that ring true to anyone else who has bipolar? I don't know. That's just one person's experience.

But if that is the case with Sonny, perhaps he just wants to feel the grief he knows he should feel over all he has lost. And he is willing to risk his sanity and stability to feel it. I am no medical expert, and I don't know if that is the writers' motivation, but that's my working theory.

Which woman will be able to bring Sonny back to reality and sanity after his inevitable breakdown? My money is on Nina right now. She has a more calming and nurturing relationship with Sonny. Carly is all combat, all the time, and I don't think war will bring Sonny peace.

Even though Nina did something terrible to get the relationship she has with Sonny, the fact is that she has a relationship with him. I think it will be the one he gravitates to for at least a season.

As for Carly, here is the storyline I want the writers to give her... Being single. Not for a month, but for six months. No Jason. No Sonny. No Jax. Learning how to be a grown-ass woman who deals with her own problems on her own. Understanding that if she opens her mouth and starts a fight, Jason isn't coming to bail her out. Learning to control her raging temper. Getting counseling with Kevin and becoming a better human. I know that's not what will happen, but I'd love to see the writers pursue that angle. I 100% do not want to see our new soulful, perfect Drew with Carly under any circumstances. He can be her sounding board, but that's it.

Another part of this storyline that I love is Ava advising Nina. Seeing Ava's glee when Nina told her about the conversation she had with Carly was so much fun. Ava was downright giddy when she heard that Nina told Carly that the only reason she and Sonny didn't make love was that Nina stopped him. There was an actual glimmer in Ava's eyes.

Do you realize what an embarrassment of riches we have at GH? The list of female powerhouse performers is endless -- Maura West, Cynthia Watros, Laura Wright, Queen Genie, Jane Elliot, Finola Hughes, Nancy Lee Grahn, Becky Herbst, Kelly Monaco, Kelly Thiebaud, Kirsten Storms, Jackie Zeman, and now we have Kristina Wagner back, too? Obviously, I could add 20 more names to this list. This past week, watching scene after scene of fantastic work, I felt so lucky to have this show in my life. I have followed these fiery characters and their insanely dramatic lives for decades.

If you follow my dear editor Dan J Kroll on Twitter, you know he posted a fantastic monologue on soaps from Erika Slezak from an old One Life to Live episode. If you haven't seen it, find it. It will make you fall in love with soaps all over again.

But I digress. Let's move along to the character who most terrifies me right now: Esme. Readers, I have put my soap-sleuth skills to work, and I still can't figure out what evil Esme is planning. What are the pills she picked up at the hospital? And how did Esme get them? Is she going to drug her fellow teens at the weekend getaway? Is Esme planning to use some experimental drug to bring Ryan out of his "locked-in" syndrome to show up at the cabin and murder Trina for her?

I am glad Kevin is aware that Esme is obsessed with Ryan and restricts his visitors. Still, knowing how shady she is, I am confident she will find a way to see him. She must be his daughter. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. Or she is also a serial killer, and he is her role model. That wouldn't shock me, either. I can hardly wait until Spencer finally realizes she is a psycho and ditches her for Trina. Assuming Trina lives through the weekend at Sonny's cabin.

While Kevin is trying to "shrink" Esme, Laura is trying to play peacemaker to her very stubborn son and grandson, with only an inch of movement that was quickly lost.

I love Spencer, but his hatred of Ava is unreasonable. Sure, he hated her when he was ten because she reneged on a deal she made with him. But clearly, now Nikolas has forgiven Ava and loves Ava, and Spencer should be happy his dad is happy and move on. But he's led a life of privilege. Spencer has always gotten his way with his dad, so he can't seem to get over the fact that Nikolas isn't caving to his emotional blackmail. Hopefully, when he falls for Trina, she can help him move on and live his life at peace with his dad and Ava, but it may take awhile because he's very stubborn.

Across town, another spoiled brat, Michael Corinthos, is railing against his father. Remember how much Michael missed Sonny when he thought he was dead? Well, now that Sonny is alive, Michael attacks him regularly. It bugs me that no one has noticed that Sonny is a little off balance. I used to like Michael -- he used to play the role of peacemaker -- but lately, he's just a jerk. I wish they would do a new DNA test and find out that Wiley was really Willow's kid, and she could take him and move in with Harmony and leave Michael at home, licking his wounds with his mom.

Where is Kristina? I am tired of people talking about her and then not seeing her. Lexi Ainsworth is so brilliant. Please give her some scenes. If Michael is Team Carly, I would kind of love to see Kristina be Team Nina. I would love for Kristina to recognize that Nina is a calming influence on her dad and give him permission to follow his heart. Is that out of the realm of possibility? She was the happiest to see him alive, so I think she's the one person who would follow him into a new life without judgment.

Now I want to riff a minute on chemistry. It either is, or it isn't. It's either there, or it's not. While the writers really want to put Maxie and Austin together, I see no sizzle there. On the other hand, when Britt took Austin out to be her wingman, sizzle galore! It was the first time I really enjoyed Austin's character, and I took joy in watching their scenes together. The same goes for Sam and Dante. I was totally on board with the Sam and Dante pairing until Drew came home, and the scenes with Kelly Monaco and Cameron Mathison lit up the screen. I have totally switched teams. It just can't be manufactured.

Lulu needs to return, let Dante return to his wife and kids, and let Sam, Drew, and Scout reunite. By the way, where is Danny? He's been shuffled to the back since Drew came home.

I am confused by the killing off Luke storyline. Why? Help it make sense. The viewers have been begging someone to kill off Peter for a year. Everyone in town has either wanted to kill Peter or threatened to kill Peter. Multiple people said if they ever saw Peter again, they would end him. Sonny had Ms. We put a hit on Peter, which apparently Brad botched. You'd think a lab tech would know the right amount of poison to level a man. But Peter is still alive, and half the town has visited him in the hospital without murdering him. Totally unacceptable.

But Luke, who has been off-screen, and Tony Geary, who has retired and is no longer on the show. But they kill Luke off instead of Peter?

They better give me some flashbacks and classic scenes if Luke is dead. I want to see more than a casual, tearful hug between Laura and Bobbie if Luke is dead.

If Luke is dead and Victor Cassadine is to blame, that would be a damned shame because then it means Victor must die, and I am quite enjoying Charles Shaughnessy's take on Victor. Imagine if Laura and Victor have to work together to get Spencer and Nikolas to reunite.

Readers, I am not a patient woman. When you get to the list of things people can be, I am kind and loving, but I am not patient. Chop, chop. Let's get to it. I walk fast, talk fast, and don't like anything that slows me down. I hate lines, I hate traffic, and I hate being made to wait for a plot to unfold. I would kiss the inventor of streaming because it means I can watch an entire season of a show at once and not have to wait week to week to see what happens next. And thus, the storyline with Marshall is driving me mad. Marshall keeps saying, "I can't tell you where I was." Curtis says, "I can't have a relationship with you unless you tell me where you were." Repeat.

So, Marshall did something shady, and someone is after him, and it may be mob-related, and Stella and T.J. may be in danger. Since Ms. Wu is the featured mobster right now, one can only assume that Marshall was under the thumb of the Wu clan at some point. But I can't handle many more days of "Tell me the truth!" "Sorry, I can't." I am about at the fast-forward point where I will just buzz past their scenes until something HAPPENS.

Brooke Lynn looked lovely this week. They dressed her a little more age-appropriate and not so matronly. I think we all know that if she moves in with Chase, the sparks will fly, and I hope she gets pregnant for real and has a baby with Chase. I know Brooke Lynn would not admit it, but she has totally bonded with "Bailey," and when Maxie eventually takes her daughter back, it will wreck her. Amanda Setton is playing the heck out of this storyline, and she and Josh Swickard have the magical chemistry element.

Besides romantic, there are other sorts of chemistry, like the mad chemistry between BFFs Brad and Britt. Parry Shen and Kelly Thiebaud in a scene together are always entertaining. Brad was courageous to tell Britt that he poisoned Peter because Peter is her brother. Brad is right to be afraid of his Auntie Selina, but not scared enough to know she's probably got a tail on him and knows he went to see Britt. Brad doesn't want to be in the mob, avoids it at all costs, and yet somehow will end up in the mob. It amused me that Dante would lecture Brad on associating with a crime family when he, himself, associates with a known crime boss who happens to be his daddy.

Readers, isn't it nice to see Felicia back? I am delighted to have her back on-screen, and I loved that she paid Peter a visit, but seriously, why didn't she kill him? I mean, Mac could have totally gotten her off. But why doesn't Maxie just tell Felicia the truth about "Bailey"/Louise? If she is afraid that Anna and Felicia will figure out her secret, why not tell them? Also, tell Valentin and tell all the other people who hate Peter so they can help protect that baby.

At first, it made sense that she was keeping it a secret, but now Tracy knows, and Chase knows. Victor has figured it out due to Austin being a blabbermouth. Maxie and Brooke Lynn will need some severe backup to keep that baby safe. I swear, if after all this, Peter gets free and steals that baby, I will lose my mind.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Esme roofie all of her "friends," or will she unroofie Ryan? Will no-meds Sonny pull out the Stetson and take Nina to a barn dance? (Here's hoping.) Will Carly try to find Jason's old leather jacket, looking for a hair to clone him with? Will Finn and Liz make love only to wake up and find Hayden is back? Will we find out Helena is alive and has Luke hidden in her evil lair?

Will Austin ever succeed in getting recognition for his dead father, Jimmy Lee Holt, or could he still be alive? (I would love to see Steve Bond again!) Will Liz's wedding ring start hovering above her head like a bowl of Cream of Wheat? Will Carly apologize to other people she has hurt and abandoned after seeing how good it felt to finally apologize to Drew for being a terrible friend? Will Willow end up being Nina's real daughter and take Nina's side and eventually leave whiny Michael?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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