Bang-Bang! Boom-Boom!

After weeks of preemptions and total nothingness, General Hospital returned with a BANG! Literally. Find yourself a bag of ''coffee'' to use as a pillow or bean bag chair and let's discuss all of the action in this week's Two Scoops.

After weeks of preempted shows, GH returned with a bang, quite literally. Shots rang out and blazed through Port Charles and Brooklyn, with many of our beloved characters in the crosshairs. It was intense and totally unexpected. Things have been so tame lately, I almost forgot that Sonny and Jason were in the mob and not just mild-mannered coffee importers.

Out of all the people in jeopardy, only two were hit -- one, the Queen oops, I mean Mayor of Port Charles, Laura Collins, and two -- Brando Corbin, whom we believed to be dead. Is Brando a thug, or perhaps an undercover cop? I think he's a cop. I think Gladys has been helping him dig up dirt on Sonny and his family. I think he's tied to Taggert's return, but that's all just my soap sleuth brain trying to put clues together. Carly found the photo of Dev and Gladys from Christmas. Why would he have that if Gladys hadn't sent it to him and if he wasn't in on this whole sham-Gram scheme? Readers, what do you think?

But if Brando is alive, it throws Dev's fake story into jeopardy. Will he out Sonny and get Dev deported back to Turkey? Maybe Joss will marry Dev for a green card. You may think they are too young, but I googled it, and no -- 14-year-olds can marry in New York if they get permission... (Yikes, right?)

When Sonny mentioned the Five Families, I had to rewind the tape of GH past in my brain. Didn't Sonny and Jason kill off the Five Families in some mob war past? I guess they must have left some cousins or something, because here they are, shooting up Sonny and his kinfolk. But what I don't get is why? Sonny said he asked for permission to come there for his dad's medical treatment -- a show of respect, right? I just watched The Irishmen, so now I feel like a mob aficionado.

Maybe it's an old rival seeking revenge. Maybe the Balkan Jr. is trying to avenge his dad. Or maybe the Ruiz twins were actually triplets. Or maybe Lorenzo Alcazar's cousins have been waiting for the chance to take over Sonny's territory. Or maybe Johnny Zacharra is tired of being on the run and wants to make a show of strength. I hope it's that one because Lulu could use Johnny Z right now.

We don't know which villain, new or old, is responsible, and that makes it exciting for me as a viewer. It's not something I saw coming a mile away. It took me by surprise, and when the show opened with that shootout scene, it took my breath away. In all seriousness, ABC and General Hospital have always had the best sweep storylines in all of soapdom.

I've been watching both GH and The Young and the Restless at night lately on Hulu. I have fallen asleep while watching Y&R a couple times. But not GH.

Speaking of Hulu, I'd like to discuss this topic a little bit and get your input. Since the networks insist on preempting soaps on a regular basis, what would you prefer they do to get us our soaps? A) Air them on the network later the same evening? B) Post them on their website to stream online? C) Have all soaps move to a streaming service like Hulu so they never get preempted? What is the solution here?

Please trust me. I am a patriot. I love this country, and I deeply care about the mess our country is in right now. But...is it really necessary for the impeachment trial to show on every single network all day long? I care about the impeachment. I'm invested in the outcome. It's important to me. But I do not watch it for eight hours a day for weeks on end. I click on CNN from time to time and get updates. I read about the important points by signing up for breaking news alerts on my phone. I don't need every single network to air it all day long. Is that unpatriotic of me to say? Feel free to give me your opinions!

Back to Port Charles... I am curious to see how the storyline will play out with Jordan, Taggert, and now Chase. Having Real Andrews back in the mix brings an excitement to the storyline because he has such a layered history with Jason and Sonny. I would love to see some of those old clips from the past of their rivalry to remind new viewers who weren't around for round one. Taggert came to town to help Jordan figure out the mystery of whether their friend's death was an overdose or foul play, but now he has stumbled into the middle of a mob war, and I doubt that he will stay on the sidelines. I am glad he is on hand to support Jordan because, since Dante left, she hasn't really had an experienced partner to help her talk through theories. Taggert is a welcome addition to the canvas.

Laura is heading into surgery, and Nikolas is probably feeling pretty terrible about letting his mom think he was dead for three years right now. But Lucky should feel even worse because, as far as we know, he hasn't even spoken to his family in years. Why don't they call him and tell him his mom has been shot? But back to Laura.

Even after being shot, she is still actively mayoring and noted that she told everyone the docks were dangerous. It will be very hard for people to turn her down for help to clean up the docks after she was shot. I would really love to see that happen on GH -- have the docks be a booming waterfront area like Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, with people going to Kelly's for clam chowder and whatnot. What would Port Charles look like without the mob on the docks? Do you think it will really happen? GH sets could use a little freshening up, anyway.

Like the Q mansion. Why, when Nelle moves in, she won't know her way around the place anymore. I can hardly wait until she moves in, thinking she is going to rule the place, and is met by the diva trio of Olivia, Brook Lynn, and Tracy. They will make her wish she'd never shown up at their door. Michael is most definitely going to lose control of ELQ over this.

He may lose Sasha, too, because I think this was the first time that she really got a glimpse of what it means to be Michael Corinthos' girlfriend. It means you might get shot at. It means you might be killed or kidnapped just to get Sonny's attention. It's dangerous, and the reality of that really seemed to rattle her. Sofia Mattson did a splendid job this week, capturing the fear and anxiety one might feel after watching gunfire fly over their head.

I also want to applaud GH for two sets of female friendships: Sasha and Willow, and the very tenuous friendship of Ava and Nina. The first friendship developed organically and has a sturdy foundation. The second was built of revenge of a mutual enemy. That one may not seem as sturdy, but I swear to you, my BFF of 35 years and I started that way, and we are still going strong.

Readers, I have one important question. Why doesn't Jax exist in real life? I want a man to fly cheese in from Switzerland for me. I know, carbon footprint, global warming, blah, blah blah. But seriously. He's my favorite. Allow me to sing the praises of Ingo Rademacher and the amazing Soap God, Jasper Jacks. Top ten reasons I love him: 1) Dashing good looks. 2) Sexy Australian accent. 3) Rich as Warren Buffet but not as old. 4) Never met a damsel in distress he didn't want to rescue. 5) Prone to grand romantic gestures. 6) Has never "Me-Too'ed" anyone. Always waits for the lady to say yes. 7) Treated his mom like a queen. 8) Friends with all of his exes and never does shitty things to them. 9) Kindness oozes out of his pores. 10) Not a mobster. I could easily list ten more, but then it would seem like I was madly in love with a fictional character on a soap opera, and that would be crazy, right?

Right now, Nina has kissed Jax and eaten his imported cheese, but will she go for him or back to Valentin? I know Valentin is a bad boy, but God, he loves Nina, and that is pretty sexy and irresistible, too. I think if Nina doesn't come back, Charlotte will be defacing more photos of Sasha, since she is apparently blaming Sasha for the whole debacle instead of her beloved Papa.

Ava got her way and got Nikolas to sign the post-nup. So, let me get this straight... Ava and Nikolas are going to remain totally celibate for life? That's hilarious. I predict they will be in bed together by Valentine's Day. I am hoping this unholy alliance of theirs, based on greed and convenience, turns into love. Do you think it will?

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will we have a show, or three more days of preemptions? Will Ghost Alan come to visit Jason, since Jason spoke his name into the air? Will Ghost Alan and Ghost Tony run into each other in the afterlife and compare Port Charles gossip? Will Spencer fly home to be with his ailing grandmother and make peace with his father? Will Liz slap Nikolas daily until Hayden returns? Will we ever find out why Dustin is always around when something is going down? Is he really just an English teacher? Will Maggie the NY waitress get a gift from Sonny, like a $1000 tip on a $20 check? Will Brad lose Wiley because he's losing his mind? Will Violet sing at the next Nurses Ball? Will Valentin find a new creepy castle to live in?

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Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.

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