The kid is not my son, er, daughter

A ruined wedding, letters from a pyscho, FBI arrest, unholy alliances, and much, much more! Let's discuss in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, the secret is finally out. Well, at least one secret. Sasha Gilmore is not Nina's daughter. I know I shouldn't like a scam artist like Sasha, but I really do. Sofia Mattson's portrayal of a conflicted young woman who did the wrong thing but still has a tender heart beating beneath her betrayal moves me.

This reveal has blown up in spectacular fashion and left half of Port Charles somehow touched by one lie.

Valentin's lies, Liesl's silence, Lulu's blabbermouth, Charlotte's heartbreak, Laura's gloating, Peter's twitching, Maxie's conflict, Lucy's visions of dollar signs, Jax getting to play hero to a damsel in distress (which is his specialty) -- so many people in town are impacted by this storyline.

While I have always liked the Valentin/Nina pairing, I am not as invested as I once was due to the change in actors. It's always a little jarring. But don't take that as an attack on Cynthia Watros. I thought she was spectacular this week -- I finally saw Nina's fire burning in her. Side note to the hair, makeup, and costume people: Nina was a beautiful bride; they did a fantastic job. She had that radiant bridal glow and looked like a cake-topper bride, utterly perfect. I mean more that I can see Nina with Jax now -- mind you, I eventually want her to end up with Valentin, but I wouldn't mind if she had a little fling with Jax.

Where do we go from here? A lot of interesting theories are floating around, and this is my favorite: the theory that Nina's daughter is actually Nelle Benson. Can you imagine? Oh, the drama!

Remember, they have a past. Nina hired Nelle to be Charlotte's nanny for a bit, and she also had her spying on Valentin. Also, remember that Jax bought Nelle's kidney for Joss on the black market, so imagine if Jax and Nina end up in a relationship and then discover that Nelle is Nina's daughter! Could that be part of Jax's interest in Nina? Does he know she's the mother of the woman whose kidney saved Joss? I love this rumor; please let it be true.

But let's not forget Nelle is batsh*t crazy. If you doubt it, keep in mind she called herself a kindred spirit of serial killer Ryan Chamberlain this week. Yikes.

Nelle hired the devilishly handsome attorney Martin Grey (but let's face it, we are all calling him Tad in our minds) to work on her parole hearing. It's great to see Michael E Knight on my screen. I wish ABC would just stop making horrible afternoon talk shows and bring back AMC and OLTL. Seriously, do any of you watch the shows that took their place? Me neither.

Nelle has persuaded Brad to say he will help her with a glowing recommendation at her parole hearing, but instead, he went to try and persuade Julian to off her, which ended up with Julian nearly strangling him, which would have been fine with me. You know, when Brad and Lucas started dating, it came out that Brad was the son of a mobster. Why doesn't he go to his own mobster family and ask for help whacking his enemies?

I am in such anticipation for that particular secret to come out. I want to see Brad crushed. I want Willow to stop fawning over a baby that is not hers. I want Lucas to find solace in Felix.

I want Michael to take Wiley back and start calling him Jonah, because that's his name. I want Nelle to get paroled and for Sonny and Carly to have to make nice with Nelle to see their grandchild. But I worry for Julian. He legitimately didn't know the baby was Sonny's grandchild until recently, but Sonny will never, ever believe that. I want Bobbie to tear Brad to shreds. Is my desire to see Brad obliterated unhealthy? Probably so but I just loathe him. I think next up, he is going to become addicted to drugs or something. I can't quite figure out his angle with Dr. Neil, but he always has an angle.

Also, while Julian is embracing his inner mobster, I want him to remind Olivia who he is. Give Olivia her deposit back and let her go back to annoying the Quartermaines or let her find another place to buy. What kind of Realtor does Julian have that he already got to spend his escrow money before the sale is closed? This seems like a useless side story that doesn't advance the plot on any storylines we actually care about. Like all of the still lingering secrets...

Secrets always come out. Someone should tell that to Hayden, who is pretending her daughter is her dog Honeybun. Last week, when they showed the dream sequence where Hayden imagines telling Finn about their daughter, I was foolishly hoping it was real. Good heavens, just tell him already. I don't know where Finola Hughes is, but I am glad her absence is allowing Finn and Hayden to reconnect. If I must choose between the various couplings, I'm on team Finn and Hayden and team Robert and Anna.

While I am not on team Ryan and anyone, I like Ava's visits to Ryan in prison. He's a creepy serial killer who killed her daughter but also an entertaining soap villain whom I am glad they resurrected. I bet Jon Lindstrom is, too. I mean, Kevin's a nice guy and all, but he's not quite as riveting as his evil twin.

She left his letters at the prison, but she read them all. Is she still a little in love with him? Does he have some creeptastic hold on her? I think he should escape around Halloween and seduce her in a Phantom of the Opera costume. Oh, wait, the one arm is a dead giveaway.

Another secret that is working its way to the surface is the fact that Dev isn't who he says he is. Dev is not a Corinthos, not Sonny's cousin, and not an American. He is, in fact, from Turkey -- which could most definitely be tied into a current news story. Who is after Dev? Why is he in danger? This storyline could be a backdrop to the war exploding there. Maybe his mom is Kurdish. Maybe his dad is a soldier. Bring the news into focus by using the face of a character we have come to care about and tell the story from a human standpoint.

Meanwhile, across town at Shadybrook, Dranco and Kim are having a little date. Which mental facility allows a patient's pretend girlfriend to visit when he is locked up for thinking he is someone other than himself? Wouldn't Liz have removed Kim from the approved visitors log? Attorney Martin Grey is taking this on as an identity case: is Franco actually Franco, or is he Drew Cain because he thinks he is Drew Cain? What do you think, dear readers? I would love to hear your take on whether Dranco is actually Franco or actually Drew and which persona you'd rather have on GH. My husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH also used to pretend he didn't watch OLTL and still calls him "Scarface." He also still calls Finn "the Vampire." For a guy who doesn't watch soaps, he sure knows a lot of soap nicknames, eh?

Monica seems willing to accept Dranco as Drew -- he has allowed her to get to know the child she might have raised. Will Martin convince her to speak up for his right to exist? If so, will Liz ever speak to her again? I understand and empathize with Liz. I would be fighting the same fight she is fighting if our circumstances were the same, however unlikely that might be -- I mean, accidental memory transfers aren't really a thing. I would also loathe Kim if I were her, but we already know that Kim lost her mind, starting on the day she tried to date rape Drew.

I am still predicting that Kim will end up pregnant with Franco's baby from their one-night stand, and when Franco gets his memory back, he will be a stepdad to Liz's boys and a real dad to Oscar the 2nd. Speaking of Liz's boys, I must ask again -- Where. Is. Jake? Did Helena kidnap him again?

Next up, a non-Port Charles topic: don't you love it when Valentin sings on GH? Then you will want to go to Apple Music and download James Patrick Stuart's new album The Apple Tree. It's really so lovely. It has some originals, it has some covers, and it has a gorgeous a cappella version of "You Are She" with James and Jeremy Clyde (of Chad and Jeremy), which made my husband and me go and listen to old Chad and Jeremy songs, which are also delightful.

So, what is your stance on Lulu? Did she do the right thing, or is she a busybody/blabbermouth? I've been following comments this week, and the Internet seems divided on this topic. I think I am team Blabbermouth because she didn't actually have to bust up the wedding and cause a scene. Since Sasha has tried to exonerate Obrecht and Valentin, Lulu will probably take some heat over her wedding-busting secret-blabbing from the townsfolk.

Okay, guys, I googled to see if the FBI actually has jurisdiction in international waters because I thought it was the Coast Guard. But in these circumstances, the boat is US-owned, the crime and or victim was American -- yeah, the FBI has jurisdiction. But -- one important question: was the Haunted Star in international waters five minutes after it left the docks in Port Charles? I think not. Also, where have they been for the last twelve people who got pushed off that boat?

Confession: I'm a little bored with this storyline. I know I should care more about Sam's plight, but I don't. I thought Shiloh's death was anticlimactic after they had it set up for a murder mystery that never transpired. Sam being arrested doesn't reenergize me.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will real Drew's body be found alive on some tropical island now that Billy Miller has wrapped up the last episode of Suits? Will Nina and Ava become drinking buddies and gal pals like Alexis and Diane used to be? I would love that. Will Jax and Sonny be able to maintain an alliance for more than four minutes? Will Dev end up being Brenda's son? Will Sasha become the Face of Deception and get a full-page ad in Crimson?

Will Maxie find out that Peter wasn't really house shopping but paying off a blackmailer with his 35k? Will Cameron's crush on Josslyn be squashed again by her growing attraction to Dev? Will Lucy tell Sasha about her own Face of Deception past? Will Valentin dig Helena's portrait out of the landfill to find out why Laura really wants it? Will Peter throw Sam under the bus like Trump is about to do to Giulliani? Will GH stop wasting time on Olivia's nasty flyers about Charlie's and get back to Bobbie and Scotty dating?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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