Oh no! We found a body

Sam has a bloody bandage under her sheer blouse, Shiloh was shot while unzipping his pants for a little afternoon rape, Franco is tied to a bed while Aiden regales him with cooking tips, Jason can name obscure weapons, and Dustin reads poetry in the park. So much to discuss in this week's GH Two Scoops!

In soaps, it's the soapiest of staple endings when a villain seemingly dies, but no body is found. That pretty much ensures that said villain will one day rise from the supposed ashes to terrorize the good townspeople again. When Shiloh went over the edge of the Haunted Star this week, I smiled a sly smile, assuming he'd be back next year around sweeps time. But, alas, the cops dragged the river and found his body and brought in his corpse in a body bag. No resurrected villain. No second reign of terror. Shiloh is actually dead.

Coby Ryan McLaughlin was a tremendous villain. I hate to see him go. But the storyline demanded that he did. His portrayal was so nuanced. He was so handsome, a winning smile. At times he was oozing with charm, incredibly caring and likable. At the beginning of this storyline, we weren't quite sure. You almost found yourself believing him. Was he really a bad guy? Maybe he was just misunderstood. Was he a changed man like he said?

Then you'd catch a glimpse of his locked room and secret file cabinets, or see a look in Daisy's eyes like she was terrified of him, and you'd doubt yourself again. No, he must be bad, but he was so good at pretending to be a nice guy. And when he was hovering over Sam, unzipping his pants -- I had to ask myself, "Has he raped women before without the benefit of drugged tea and tattoo foreplay?"

Then the classes -- people in Port Charles went to his self-help classes and actually felt they got something meaningful out of them. People who were lost found ways to cope with their life trials. You know, I watched this documentary on Scientology, and it was totally creepy. At the end, I felt pity for Tom Cruise and John Travolta. It seems like they are enslaved to it. It was just awful. Watch it.

But that having been said, after 9/11, Scientology opened some detox center for first responders in New York City, and many people said they were cured or helped by the treatment they received there. Scientology is 100% cult, but some of what they were doing had a positive impact on some group of human people.

So, for those 800+ people who were cured, they are probably going to see Dawn of Day -- oops, I mean Scientology, in a more favorable light than the people who are enslaved by it. Which brings me to my point. This loyalty, I think, is why the new nurse at GH who overheard Sam blabbing about how happy she was to kill Shiloh went to Jordan. I think she is in DOD. In spite of everything, she still feels some loyalty to Shiloh because Dawn of Day somehow helped her. Or so I am guessing.

Will Sam end up in jail for saving Jason's life? It's probably some subliminal message to women: "Don't try to crawl out of your damsel in distress role to play hero, or you will pay."

The end of Shiloh drew in a lot of our other Port Charles friends, which I want to at least mention.

First, seeing Brad in the chapel, praying, almost made me feel tender toward him. I am certain that he loves Wiley. I am certain that he loves Lucas. I am certain he would want no harm to come to his adopted son. I am also certain that next week, he will probably ask Julian to kill Liesl again or do some other shady thing. His encounter with God did not change him.

When Willow came into the chapel and took his hand, I felt so bad for her. Here she is, fretting and praying over a baby that Brad knows is not her baby. I mean, if you think about it, it's Brad's fault that Bobbie got carjacked. If Brad had told everyone in town that Wiley wasn't Willow and Shiloh's baby, he could have saved the whole town a world of hurt, money, and custody trials. I can hardly wait until that baby is in Michael's arms. At which point, I predict Willow will dump Chase and steal Michael from Sasha because, even thought that baby isn't hers, she loves it.

Besides, if Valentin finds out that Sasha told Michael about her true identity, Sasha could vanish at any moment.

Of course, if Curtis, Hayden, and now Mayor Laura are successful in finding Mikkos' codicil and it does, in fact, grant Wyndemere to Spencer (or Nikolas, as the case may be), and Nikolas comes to town and tells everyone what Valentin actually did to him, Valentin will be homeless, penniless, and wifeless. If Nikolas is on his way back to Port Charles, he has Ava, Hayden, and potentially Liz waiting for him. Which lovely lady would you like to see him with?

Readers, I have a question. Do you think Liz is being totally selfish right now? I know she wants Franco back and that she loves him. I get that. But just like Dranco said yesterday, if there is a one in four chance that he could end up a vegetable, don't you think her forcing him into that surgery is horribly selfish and wrong? Seeing him tied to the bed in hand restraints would make me weep if I were her. But at least he has Aiden dropping by to give him cooking tips. Liz's willpower is pretty steely.

Sam gave Liz good advice. Here's how I would like to see it play out: Liz lets Dranco go, on the condition that he moves in with her and the boys for 90 days. If, after 90 days, he decides not to have the surgery or his memory doesn't come back, he is free to go. Then, while he is there, he falls in love with Liz and her boys as Drew and chooses to stay of his own free will. Or, Aiden triggers his memories, and little by little, he remembers his life. My husband, who pretends not to watch GH, is predicting that Aiden will feel sorry for Franco and take off his restraints prior to his transfer to Shadybrook.

But what of Kim? I am 90% soapy-certain that she will be pregnant from their one-night encounter, and Liz will have to deal with the fact that Kim had Franco's baby before she did. Over the years, I have loved Tamara Braun. Her Carly was feisty perfection -- I loved her in the role. But Kim is seriously cray right now. She needs extended sessions with Neil and a plethora of meds. She drugged old Drew to try to rape him. She asked multiple men in town to impregnate her. She cheated on "Charlie." She had sex with her friend's confused husband without any remorse. Now she is trying to hire Diane to keep her brain-damaged lover around.

I absolutely loved the scene when she wrote "Charlie" a letter, and he said, "That letter is for someone else. My name is Julian." Boom! Now, go have angry sex with Alexis.

I know a lot of you think Julian and Alexis can never be reunited because of what he did to her while under duress from his crazy sister. But, hey, it's a soap opera. You don't really have to protect fictional characters. I mean, 50 Shades of Grey sold 125 million copies, and virtually no one would recommend that their friend date Christian Grey, right? That doesn't mean it wasn't an entertaining story. And sane people know soap operas are entertainment, not a life plan for how you should conduct yourself.

Side note: Julian's sister Ava, played by the magnificent Maura West, had some amazing scenes with Dr. Neil this week. She shines every time she walks on-screen. I'd rather see Ava with Neil, and she has a history of falling for her shrinks!

Now, on to the Port Charles Police Department. Readers, it's nuts that Jordan investigates every crime personally. Remember when the PCPD had more than one cop? Right now, as far as I can tell, Detective Chase is the only officer in town. Valerie is AWOL ever since she was recast, Dante is gone, Lucky is out of the country, Detective Taggert has been gone for a decade, and Robert and Mac faded into the night as soon as Jordan came back. That one is particularly distressing because I like the Scorpio brothers at the helm way more than I like Jordan. Anna isn't even around to make Jordan more interesting by bouncing ideas off of her.

Shiloh was an escaped convicted felon who raped and murdered people (this week, he confessed to Sam that he killed his dad, to add to the list of crimes), but Jordan is totally grilling Sam and Jason as though they had a plot to kill Shiloh. It could not have been premediated, as no one knew Shiloh would escape the prison van, kill a guard, steal his uniform, carjack Bobbie, and kidnap Dev and Wiley -- or that Dev would call Jason's phone for help and end up reaching Sam.

Another rant altogether. If my husband said, "Hey, my battery is almost dead, let me switch phones with you," I'd say, "No, plug your damn phone in." But I digress.

We seriously need more cops on the PCPD. Jordan, can you please hire someone?

I am really enjoying Ashton Arbab as Dev. He's a great addition to our teen scene. Right now, we are flush with talented teens; Josslyn (Eden McCoy), Cam (William Lipton), and Trina (Sydney Mikayla) are all really talented young actors. They are handling mature storylines with real emotions and nailing it in scene after scene. Grief, disappointment, heartache, complicated family dynamics, etc. All four are a joy to watch. I wonder if we will even meet Trina's family. And is no one in Turkey wondering what happened to Dev? (I still secretly hope he's Brenda and Sonny's son.)

Jax is very curious about Dev, and I don't think he will let it go until he gets answers. Isn't he the best? A great guy, a great dad -- he's even been a great ex to Carly. Why is he still single? If I were Jax, I would buy the house next to Sonny's and invite Brenda to move in with me. What do you say, Vanessa Marcil -- are you game?

I also want Damien Spinelli back full-time. I don't care how we accomplish it. Kill Ellie off in a freak snow plow accident. Have her be moved with compassion and decide to leave Spinelli to do medical missions in the hurricane-ravaged Bahamas. Just get rid of her and bring Spinelli and Georgie back to town full-time. Spinelli knows there is something shady about Peter, and he will find it if given time and proximity. Let Spinelli be the hero again.

I dislike that the writers have rewritten Peter's history, but now that they have, we have to deal with it, right? If Maxie knew Peter was more involved in what happened to Jason, would she forgive him? Right now, Peter got lucky when Shiloh died, but he told Maxie a lie about buying a house, and now he needs to call Lucy and buy one.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will teacher Dustin take the kids on more poetry field trips and get Joss seriously crushing on him? Will Ned get back to town and make Olivia listen to Taylor Swift's "You Need to Calm Down" about 20 times? Will Carly's baby bring the family together or cause more drama? Will Willow tell Harmony about Shiloh's demise and pay for a tattoo removal for her? Will we find out who Nelle was excited to meet?

Will Jason know the names of any more obscure weapons next time he is attacked? Will Nina's wedding happen before all the secrets she doesn't know blow up in her face? Will Cassandra show up at the wedding? Will anyone tell Sam you can see the bloody bandage under her sheer blouse sleeves? Will the delightful Sonia Eddy (Epiphany) ever get a real in-depth storyline again?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.