The bridge to nowhere

Ryan and Ava are falling, Carly is ascending, Franco is recuperating, Oscar is seizing, Alexis is (probably) drinking, Laura is shouting, Jason is shooting, and it seems the whole town is in distress! It was a wild week in Port Charles, and we can't wait to discuss it in this week's General Hospital Two Scoops!

Readers, am I crazy, or is Carly in the same pit Sam was in when she gave birth to Scout? No, I am not crazy. I have video evidence. Same wall. Same cement blocks. I bet Sam tried to scale up that wall in the same 6-inch-heel boots! Seriously, watch this.

Keep that question in mind when you choose your footwear... "Could I scale a wall in these boots?" Carly is scaling up, but she's absolutely going to slide back down.

Who will find her first? Maybe Ava, who was just pushed off the bridge, which I swear is the same bridge she went over when we thought she was dead and instead returned as her identical (fake) cousin Denise DeMucchio.

Let's marvel at what a perfect shot Jason Morgan is -- a true expert marksman. He landed his bullet into Ryan's shoulder without even grazing a single strand of Ava's beautiful blonde hair. Those mobsters should teach the PCPD how to shoot. But it wasn't the gunshot that leveled Ryan; instead, he took a dive over the bridge, with Ava in tow.

What do you think will happen, dear readers? I suspect that Ryan will be presumed dead (again) but will miraculously sprint away unharmed. He will probably run off, enter Canada, and avoid being captured so he can resurface in five years on Halloween. On the other hand, Ava's fall will probably knock Carly back down to the bottom of the wall, and they will have to help each other up. Wouldn't that be delicious if they had to partner up to save their lives?

What an exhilarating post-sweeps week in Port Charles!

Readers, have you ever been to Niagara Falls? I have. Like a gazillion times. I grew up in Ohio, and my family vacationed in Canada every summer, and Niagara Falls was on the way to the place we vacationed. It's a sea of hotels and motels.

The odds that two separate groups of people from Port Charles, New York, would randomly end up in the same motel is just hilarious. First off, how did all those 15-year-olds get a hotel room, anyway, with no driver's licenses or credit cards? I was a travel agent for 15 years of my life, and most hotels and rental car agencies have age limits and restrictions that would prohibit that from ever happening. Why? Because if they didn't, every cheap motel in America would be filled with drunken teenagers on Friday night.

Next, a bunch of kids with a broken-down car, and a doctor and an art dealer might not have chosen the same reasonably priced roadside motel. Ava strikes me more as a Ritz Carlton penthouse kind of gal.

But I digress. I have to give my husband credit, he called it -- that Oscar would have another seizure before he and Josslyn had sex. I disagreed and thought they would have sex and that Joss would end up pregnant and then Oscar would die, leaving her as a single teenage mom. Jeff won that round of General Hospital Roulette.

Laura told Ava that Kevin was Ryan, but Ava is convinced he's just Kevin in the midst of a mental breakdown. At least she was trying to get him to call 9-1-1, even though she truly despises Carly. I must give her credit.

Let's just stop for a minute and pause to worship Genie Francis. That woman is a beast. She was unceremoniously bumped out of Port Charles but came back, guns blazing in a fierce and fabulous storyline where all of her amazing skills were on display. She was brokenhearted when her marriage to Kevin ended, and we saw her emote in the way only Genie can do -- she can still reduce me to tears in an instant.

But then Laura was lifted up out of her despair, empowered, became the mayor, supported her daughter through multiple heartaches and an attempted murder, spied on Ryan, found and rescued Kevin, and is now on the hunt with hit man Jason Morgan to track down a serial killer! Laura is magnificent, her character is an anchor to the show, and as many years as Genie wants to work, she should absolutely be there and in the midst of all the goings-on in Port Charles. Thank you to TPTB for bringing her back, for writing for her, and for giving us a true heroine to root for and to admire.

When Laura yelled out to Ava that "Kevin" was actually Ryan Chamberlain-- that was the money shot. Oh, Genie. I ❤ you.

Meanwhile, back in Port Charles, Julexis fans were shrieking with glee when they were treated to the reunion they (we) have been begging for, for years, only to have it yanked away again in a flash. I wanted to throw something at the TV when all those clocks started going off and I realized that I had been punked. Writers, give us a break. Can we just have them back together for real? As Julian said -- we know Julexis is the endgame, and we are tired of waiting. Nancy Lee Grahn and William DeVry sizzle in every scene together, and we can't get enough of them. Make it so.

But, since Alexis went to the liquor store for a fifth of vodka instead of to Charlie's to track down Julian, I'm not hopeful. She hasn't actually poured any booze into her mouth yet, so there's still a possibility that she might put the bottle down and go get her man before the night is through. I just hope they don't get back together as he tries to sober her up again. Ugh.

I have already mentioned that I think her new shrink is somehow suspect. I think he's a Dawn of Day plant collecting her secrets to blackmail her with later. Perhaps I'm too suspicious, but that's my theory, and I'm sticking to it until I am proven wrong.

Sam has new ammunition in her investigation of Shiloh after she realized that Kristina is paying large sums of money to attend Shiloh's "exclusive" seminars. What's up with that creepy tattoo on Daisy's back? I think it's probably the way he brands the cult members after he beds them. I think he's grooming Kristina to be his next cult sister-wife, and then Sam will be next. Coby Ryan McLaughlin is doing a fantastic job creeping me out as Shiloh. He can be evil or charming, menacing or lovable -- he can be whatever he needs to be in the moment to get whomever he wants to bend to his will. What do you think, readers, will Sam get sucked into his web before she gets to the bottom of DoD?

I know this is going to sound awful to say, but I am beyond bored with the Sonny and Robert in Turkey storyline. I know we are leading up to finding Dante, and oh, what a great day that will be when it happens, but in the meantime? Zzzzz. I knew the fake palm reader wasn't a palm reader, and so did you. We all know that if a total stranger walked in on an arms dealer's private poker game, they'd be dead before the first card was dealt. The only redeeming part of this is the chemistry and newly formed bromance of Maurice Benard and Tristan Rogers. Sonny and Robert aren't quite as fun as Luke and Robert, but I'll take it.

Let's take bets... I would go all in with my stack of chips and bet that Aunt Stella will be the kidney donor for Jordan. Any takers? Who should run the PCPD while she is recuperating from surgery? Anna? Robert? Mac?

I'm glad we didn't have to go too long with everyone believing Franco was the killer. I am glad he's innocent and that everyone knows he is innocent. But methinks Cameron isn't going to start calling him Daddy anytime soon, regardless.

I like the friendship that is forming with Trina and Cameron; he needs a confidante, and her character is fun and a good addition to our teen set. I think Oscar's decline is going to speed up, so I fear it will be a sad season of teen life in Port Charles, but all the kids involved are such great performers, we better get our Puffs ready.

Readers, I was impressed with Maxie's self-awareness and growth as a human being. As she is trying to find out whether or not Valentin is lying to Nina about her daughter, she confessed her own shady past to Peter. That's what trusting friends do. I was just in a seminar, and they said, "Transparency is telling people a few slightly embarrassing stories about yourself. Vulnerability is being open enough with someone that they could hurt you with the information you are sharing."

Maxie was just vulnerable with Peter. I like their connection, and I think I'm going to be okay if they dive headfirst into a relationship. How about you? Sure, we all loved Nathan, but can we, as viewers, allow Maxie to move on and support a new love interest for her? I'm ready.

Will Sasha go get her roots done after Maxie told her she spotted a gray hair? Will Lulu get hypnotized by the real Kevin to erase the fake Franco in a suit memories in her brain? Will Anna's twin, Alex, go spontaneously blind and have to come to Port Charles for the miracle cure? Will anyone ever call Lucky and tell him all the crap going on with his entire family?

Will Josslyn be grounded until Jax arrives and springs her? Will Dante be found dead or alive? Will we ever find out what the deal is with the watch Valentin gave Alexis? Will Ava get that crazed, wild look in her eyes when she finally realizes her lover is her daughter's killer?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.