The bridge to nowhere

Are you swayed by the flashbacks of young Jason and the ladies of Port Charles? Does the face make the man? If two men share memories, which one do you believe? Will Nelle's tell-all article bring down the house of Crimson? Is Nina a match for Cassandra? Let's discuss in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear Readers, I've always wanted to stand on the footbridge in Port Charles. It's Holy Ground. It's where all the best GH characters go to ponder their problems, fall to their supposed deaths, get into shootouts, make out with their beloveds, and much more. But the very best footbridge characters are Jason and Robin. Seeing them together on that bridge this week and watching the flashbacks of their younger selves was magically soapalicious.

I mentioned this possibility in my end of column questions last time I wrote, and I'm glad I was right.

The history of these two characters is compelling, and I like when GH honors its history vs. when they change the history to fit the storyline. That having been said, I can't be mad at them for giving Jason a (previously unbeknownst to us) twin. This tale continues to get weirder by the day but also more compelling.

Of course, the footbridge is a great backdrop, but it doesn't lead anywhere. You really only go there to contemplate the meaning of life...or if you are summoned by a random note that asks you to "come to the bridge alone, no cops," or sometimes a villain might take you there to fling you over the side into a river. But it's not like people go there to get someplace. Just an observation.

I know I risk angering half of my readers, but I'm going on the record to say Steve is Jason. Period. If I am wrong, I give you full permission to write me letters telling me what an idiot I was about this, but if I were a gambling woman, and I sometimes am, I'd bet on Steve Burton. Why? There have been too many flashbacks. Too many intricate details of old conversations that Jason-6 remembers and Jason-Doe doesn't. Too many people who are nearest and dearest to Jason have claimed Steve Burton is the real Jason. Sonny and Carly were the first. But now Diane, Monica, and Robin are also on board.

Although she hasn't verbalized it yet, Jason-Doe's wife, Sam, also knows in her heart that Jason-6 is her original Noodle Buddha baby. She loves the man she is currently married to, no matter what name he goes by. They have a good life together. They have a baby together. She may decide to stay with him. But he is Andrew.

Another factor for me in coming to this conclusion is a lesson I learned in Sunday school: the tale about two moms who went before King Solomon, each saying a certain baby was their child. King Solomon said, "Take a sword and cut the baby in half, then you can each have part of him." One woman said, "Go ahead and cut him in half, then neither of us will get him." The other woman yelled, "Please don't kill my son!" and Solomon gave the baby to the mom who did not want the baby cut in half.

By this logic, Sam's current husband is doing everything in his power to hang onto what he believes is his by any means necessary; on the other hand, Jason-6 says things like "I just want Sam to be happy. I don't care what name people call me." He is putting her welfare above his own, so according to my Baptist Sunday school teacher, clearly he is the real husband.

Before Steve Burton's return, the foreshadowing of this storyline was extremely heavy handed. Multiple people in town started having conversations where they casually mentioned, "Jason hasn't been the same since he came back." Some of you think that's a red herring, but some of you, like me, think they were giving us a hint of what was to come.

Monica can love both twins as her adopted sons. Carly can be friends with both men as her confidants and partners in crime. Sam, however, cannot have two husbands. She will have to choose. Truthfully, I hope she stays with Billy Miller -- a.k.a. Drew, in my worldview. They have great chemistry, they have a business to run, Sam and her kids are out of the mob life, and it leaves Jason-6 free to be with Elizabeth -- or an entirely new love interest.

It certainly won't be Ava, though, because Jason-6 dropped her without a thought once he found out she was responsible for Morgan's demise. I know it was wishful thinking, but I had hoped her goodwill to Jason would last a little longer than five minutes. My real hope is that Morgan is still alive out there somewhere, and someday Ava will be vindicated, just as I hope Nikolas Cassadine is still out there somewhere, and Valentin will be vindicated, because I am a fan of redeemed villains.

Valentin came clean with Nina except for the part about Claudette. He conveniently neglected to share that part of the story with her. I don't think it will go very well for him once Nina discovers he has lied to her again.

But for now, she is in on his plan to work for Cassandra and try to take down the drug ring, and Nina is aware that he is working for Anna. Nina insisted on helping and is cozying up to Cassandra and pretending they are pals. I would be worried for Nina, but I remember when she was Phyllis on The Young and the Restless, and let me tell you -- girlfriend is a scrapper. Nina may have to unleash her inner Phyllis in this storyline.

Sadly, she may be unemployed, since Nelle made it her mission to bring down Ask Man Landers, and with it, Maxie, Nina, and their beloved Crimson. I'm not sure her plan will work, though, because when it comes to light why they lied and what they were doing -- raising money to pay the medical expenses of a wounded veteran -- what red-blooded American would side against them?

I continue to hope that GH is going to really dig in here and tell this story. Our country has been at war since 2001, and we have so many wounded warrior and troops who are suffering with PTSD. Since our nation seems wholly incapable of having a discussion on any issue without politicizing it right down the middle of party lines, maybe Daytime can be the catalyst to have this national conversation. People of all political and social backgrounds watch Daytime drama, and when an issue has a face and a name, we can think and speak about it more rationally.

Chet Driscoll, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, woo woo woo.

I used to be on the fence about Nelle. I thought that after she wrecked Carly's life and discovered that she was wrong about her assumptions, she might reconcile with them and become part of Carly's extended family. But it's becoming clear she is just pure evil. If she is talking, she is lying. When Laura was going to hire her at the GH daycare center, I was screaming, "NOOOO!" at my TV.

I just read the great news that the Britch is coming back to GH, so maybe they can form a Pariahs of Port Charles support group and befriend one another. Side note, the Britch won't be half as good without her partner in crime, so they'd better bring Brad back, too.

In spite of her protestations to the contrary to Diane, Alexis is definitely still in love with Julian and determined to do something to help him before he gets killed. It was a great surprise to see Nora Buchanan again, even though she is representing psycho Olivia Jerome. I'm trying to go back into the deep recesses of my brain of 40 years of GH plots, and I can't think of why Olivia Jerome would want to switch Jasons or why she would be behind the brain experiments, but if you can, I invite you to write and let me know what past plot points I have forgotten.

I do hope this means we will get to see Tonya Walker again, and maybe Britt's parents, Faison and Obrecht -- and maybe even a little Helena, because I'm still pretending she is not really dead.

Readers, I am thrilled with the revelation that Maxie is pregnant, and I'm hoping that against all soap odds, she isn't tripped by a puppy and caused to miscarry. If you're new to GH, this actually happened in Maxie's past. I swear I am not making it up. When she was doing stretches while waiting the three minutes for her pregnancy test to process, I swear I was afraid she was going to fall and lose the baby mid push-up.

Elizabeth has three kids, but we really only ever see Jake. Cam and Aiden are always on sleepovers and outings, Why is Jake so unpopular? He never gets to go to the things his brothers are invited to! Poor, sad Jake. Against Franco's advice, Liz and Jason/Drew explained to Jake that the man he saw in the park was Jason's twin brother. Jake is absolutely convinced that the man he is speaking to is his father, which will open the door for a lot of rebellion and acting out when he finds out that isn't the case.

Lulu has decided she wants to become an investigative journalist, name-dropping the old GH character played by Demi Moore, Jackie Templeton. Since Lulu never went to college for journalism and her job experience consists of being an admin assistant at Crimson and a nightclub owner, I doubt a real news organization will hire her. But with that expos on school lunches, she might at least get posted on a nutritional blog. Try Food Babe, Lulu.

Here's a shout-out to Risa Dorken, who did an incredible job this week with some powerhouse Amy scenes with and about her brother Chet. When Amy first came on the show, I thought she was going to be a clone of Amy Vining, and I shuddered. I was wrong. They have given Amy depth and a genuine storyline, and she's killing it. From one chubby blonde chick to another, you are awesome.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Andre be found in Helena's old lab-or-a-tory under GH, experimenting on Stavros' frozen brain? Will Oscar meet his dad, also named Oscar, and force us to come up with fun nicknames for them? (Please say yes.) Will Julian be home in time for Alexis to nurse his prison beating wounds for Christmas? Will we find anyone at GH worthy of reading the Christmas story to the kids? Will Maxie get Fedi to design her some cute maternity outfits? Will Maxie avoid all stairways for nine months? Will Maxie avoid pumps and wear Crocs for nine months? Will Maxie name her baby Ask Baby Landers? Will Britt be a love interest for Chet and find redemption? Will Carly's prediction to Ava come true when Griffin falls for a Christmas angel? Will Ryan Paevey be in any Hallmark Christmas movies?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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