God versus the girl

Jason versus Jason, Nelle versus the truth, Monica's tastefully decorated home versus Olivia's paper spiders, God versus Ava... Who will win the battles for the soul of Port Charles? Find out in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, it's an age-old dilemma for people of faith to wrestle with what their heart wants and what their faith says is right. Do you give in to the longings of your heart or cling to the desire to be pure of spirit? Holiness or happiness? Sometimes (I've heard) you can have both, but for others, like Father/Doctor Griffin Munro, you have to choose between the two.

Griffin has been wrestling with this choice since he landed in Port Charles a year and a half ago. This decision was not made easily nor was it made without a lot of anguish. He truly believes in God. His faith is a constant and living thing to him. Doubt was not his issue. Instead, the part of the bargain he wrestled with is "Can I live without love and human affection forever?"

This week, he arrived at the conclusion of his soul journey and made his choice. Griffin left the priesthood and abandoned his vow of celibacy for the love of a woman. He hasn't admitted that he loves her yet. She hasn't admitted that she loves him yet. But from the outside, methinks they're in love.

I have to say this is a far more satisfying outcome than I had envisioned. I'm glad that pure of heart Griffin fell for a sinner and not a saint. I'm glad that his goodness is redeeming her and that her fire and passion is igniting him and has given him the strength to make a tough decision.

I work at a church. I have been in church my entire life. I know how scary it is to step outside one of those forbidden boundaries the church instills in your heart. Growing up, I had a Baptist Sunday School teacher who taught us kids to say, "Lips that touch wine will never touch mine." He said drinking was a hard no and that associating with people who drink was bad, too. But then I went to college...

The first time I had a drink, I was sure a lightning bolt was going to come down from the sky and fry my evil soul. But now, several hundred bottles of wine, wine-tasting trips, and hours of researching what it takes to become a sommelier later, I've realized God doesn't much care if I drink wine as long as I don't drink enough to get loopy.

Griffin's choice was harder. He took a vow of celibacy and made the choice to go to Father (Gopher) Corey and tell him face to face that he was abandoning his sacred vow to God and choosing the girl. Although Griffin and Ava agreed to take things slow and casual, the scene where they part ways after making love and are both leaning against opposite sides of the door, beaming with smiles, screams, "They are in love!" to me.

While the story of wrestling between faith and love, the desire to be saints when we know deep down that we are sinners, genuinely resonates with me, there is another story this week that has me on the edge of my seat -- the continuing tale of two Jasons!

Patient 6 (Jason-6 here forward) arrived in town and found his angel of mercy, Ava. He thanked her for helping him escape from the evil Russian hospital and convinced her to do him one more favor: deliver a note to Sonny.

Think of all the things Jason-6 discovered so far this week in Port Charles. In the five years he has been away, Jake, the son he thought was dead, is alive again. There is a man who is calling himself Jason, has taken over his life, and is impersonating him. His wife, Sam, and his BFFs, Carly and Sonny, all believe the imposter is Jason. Morgan, who was named after him, is dead. Elizabeth is dating Franco, whom Jason-6 only knows as a psychopath who raped his wife and made him watch.

I'm losing my mind. I keep yelling at my TV -- "SAY HELLO! Wave! Let them know you are there!" But Jason-6 doesn't listen. I suppose I understand. He doesn't know Drew-Jason like we do. He doesn't know he's a good guy and maybe even his twin brother. He doesn't know he is a victim of Helena's brainwashing. He only knows a guy is impersonating him and took over his life. He assumes he is evil and dangerous.

Imagine when this all comes to light! People will demand DNA tests, which will be inconclusive, since they are presumably twins. Franco is the only one who will be able to solve the mystery, but will he? Frankly, I think Betsy Frank is still lying. I don't think Todd, er, I mean Franco, er, I mean Bobby tried to kill Drew. I think Helena bought Drew from her for that house she's living in.

Hey, Constance Towers, I miss you. Hey, ABC, it's time to resurrect Helena! I just looked up and found that Constance is 84, so maybe she doesn't want to act anymore. But I really want her to want to act again.

But I digress; imagine Liz and Sam fighting over two Jasons. Will they shoot craps or draw a name out of a hat? Which girl gets Drew and which gets Jason? Imagine if both Luckys showed up, too -- Jonathan Jackson and Greg Vaughan both claiming to be Lucky! Liz would end up in Shadybrooke.

Is Sam really cut out to be an elegantly dressed publishing mogul, or is she more the leather-jacketed wife of a mob enforcer? I think we all know the answer to that. Although she hates the violence, she understands that life and always accepted what Jason did for a living.

Drew-Jason, though, never really took to the criminal thug life, though, and bought a legit business for him and Sam to build together. Seeing Billy Miller and Michelle Stafford talking magazines together gave me The Young and the Restless Restless Style flashbacks, and I admit, I really like that vibe. P.S. Give Maxie back her job already. Why? Because I want to see Maxie completely shred Nelle.

As much as I love Valentin and Nina, when Nina finds out about Cassandra and whatever shady secrets the two of them are hiding, I predict "Valentina" will be on the outs again, and Drew and Nina will have a night of drunken passion. You know, after Drew gets dumped by Sam for Jason-6... That's just guessing -- sometimes I'm right, and sometimes I am wrong.

So glad to hear Chet has all the money he needs for treatments because I am really over Ask Man Landers. Seriously. The day fan girls started showing up at his apartment for autographs and selfies, I threw up a little in my mouth. Yeah, because that's what happens to advice columnists... they have groupies. Oh, wait, no. That's movie stars and rock stars.

Back in Teenville, USA, Josslyn is using her emergency credit card to help Oscar search for his daddy. All we know is that it's a dude from San Diego who slept with his mom about 14 year ago... I've heard a lot of theories, from Dante to Sonny, and last week, I was thinking Griffin... But when they said San Diego, I started thinking, "Wait, wasn't Ric in San Diego for a while?" Oh, man, that would be so sweet.

This is my new pet theory -- Tamara Braun (former Carly) comes back to GH as Oscar's mother, Kim Nero, and the dad is Rick Hearst (Ric), who once kept Tamara Braun's Carly locked up in a panic room for months! Oh, the sweetness of that idea! The poetic irony of it all makes me giddy. I just told my husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH, about my brilliant new theory, and he pretended to be as excited as I was telling him about it, but I think I saw him rolling his eyes as I walked away...

Readers, I have a question. Do you believe Nelle? Do you trust her? Do you think every word out of her mouth is a big fat lie? Seriously, I'm asking. I might do a Twitter poll today to ask what others think. I am convinced that she's lying, but I am not exactly sure why. I heard one theory that piqued my interest...One theory (also mentioned by Liz last week) goes that Nelle's fianc was troubled, that he committed suicide, and that Nelle didn't tell anyone because she wanted the insurance money. She staged the kayak accident after his death to collect the cash, but she didn't actually kill him. I don't know. Her hiding around corners and smirking when she knows she got away with another lie doesn't give me any confidence in her character.

As happy as I am to see Jessica Tuck on my screen, her character, Cassandra, does not delight me. She's a drug dealer and a bad person. So far, Valentin is standing strong against her attempts to lure him back to the dark side. Will he be able to prevail over the long haul, or will his dark past grip his soul again and pull him back under?

First off, there is one rule in Port Charles that everyone knows: Sonny does not allow drugs in his territory, so if Cassandra tries to bring her product in through Port Charles, she will be at war with the unsinkable mob boss. Second, Sonny presumably already dislikes Valentin, since he is keeping Charlotte from Dante and Lulu, so if Valentin dabbled in the drug trade with Cassandra, I guarantee Sonny would pounce. I can't decide where we are going with this storyline.

The only fruit I see growing here is that Anna and Finn have to pretend to be lovers to fool Cassandra, and on soaps, when you have to pretend to be lovers, eventually during the ruse, you actually become lovers. Every time. I mean. Mac and Felicia are already inviting them to couples dinners, so they're screwed.

And finally, a warning from my husband -- he said, "Tell all your ladies that they should stay away from the footbridge in Port Charles. Nothing good ever happens there. Oh, and that dock, too." He's funny. First, because he thinks only ladies watch GH (even though he watches it). Second, because he wanted me to add a warning to my column as though the bridge and dock were real. He's been sucked into the Soap vortex, and he doesn't even know it!

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Laura dress up every day from now until November, waiting for that proposal to come again? Will Olivia put up more Halloween decorations and make Monica's head explode? Will Olivia talk about Alan again like she knew him and make me want to slap her? Will GH realize Tracy can't be replaced, even when you give her line to someone else? Will Ned stage a coup for ELQ and Michael go back to begging to be in the mob?

Will Sonny ever learn to follow directions and go alone the next time the note says to go alone? Will Jason-6 stop hiding behind trees and curtains and say hello to someone he knows? Will Liz continue to ignore Jake when he hears someone calling his name from the bushes, even though he was literally kidnapped and held captive before, but now she lets him run off alone to pick a pumpkin? Will we ever know why all three of her kids don't get to pick a pumpkin? Are Cam and Aiden pumpkin-less? Will Jason-6 go as Drew-Jason for Halloween?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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